I’d Give Up The World For You - Chapter 217

Amy seemed to be at a loss for words. She began to say something several times before changing her mind.

Eventually, when she did speak it was in a voice of great resignation. “I’m sorry I misjudged you. This isn’t much of an excuse but in my line of work I can only make judgment calls and prescribe treatments based on what I know.

“You weren’t giving me much to work with but I completely understand why now. I wouldn’t have believed your story if I hadn’t seen the evidence with my own two eyes. I’m going to need to reevaluate your treatment plan…but you’re going to have to tell me everything.”‘

Rukelion looked up at her suspiciously after wiping the tears off his face. “You won’t tell anyone?”

“Legally, I can’t unless you’re planning to hurt yourself or someone else. Are you?” Amy asked with a raised eyebrow.

“No but I have in the past. In my world.”

“No law enforcement here has jurisdiction in your world. As long as you aren’t planning on being a villain here I’ll keep everything between us according to professional ethics. So can you be honest with me? You want to get better, don’t you? That won’t happen if you aren’t.”

Rukelion scowled. “I never was one in the first place. I was a king responding to another king committing war crimes against my country. The morality in my world is different than here but since I’m here now I have to respect your rules.”

Amy momentarily gaped at him before regaining her professional air. “Right. Why don’t you start by telling me what actually happened to your family? That would be a good place to start.”

He was hesitant but there was nothing stopping him now that the cat was out of the bag. No one would ever believe her anyway. She wouldn’t be able to report him to the police and if she tried to get him locked in a mental institution he would turn the tables by accusing her of thinking he had magic. Then she would get locked up instead.

“Alright,” he said reluctantly as he plopped back down into his abandoned chair. “To start, my name isn’t Leo. It’s Rukelion. I was the third prince of the kingdom of Katalya and I loved my country and my family more than anything…”

Rukelion wasn’t able to get very far in his story. He only managed to get through his years training with the mercenaries while working with Daisy on the farm before their time was  up.

Amy took copious notes the entire time, likely because she wasn’t currently able to process anything he was saying and needed to remember details later. She still looked pretty freaked out and he was reminded of Daisy’s reaction when she first found out he had magic.

“I want you to pick up where you left off next week,” the therapist told him in a mostly composed voice. “In the meantime try not to set anything on fire.”

Rukelion was so strung out he actually laughed. “I always do!”

He was so tired. So miserable from rehashing some of his worst memories. And he still had to go to class. Would it make that much of a difference if he skipped out just this once? He didn’t want to be a slacker but he wasn’t up for anything requiring concentration right now. In the end he gave into his exhaustion and went home.

Daisy seemed surprised to see him for a moment until she saw his puffy eyes and the tear tracks on his face. She understood the basics of what had happened immediately and pulled him in for a hug.

“I’ve got you,” she said quietly as she rubbed his back.

Rukelion’s hands trembled as he hugged her back tightly. Amy had wanted details so he had to give them. It was the only way he was going to get better the way his wife wanted him to. He needed to be completely transparent so she could know how to fix him.

He hated being transparent. It made him feel vulnerable and weak. He had never thought of himself as a weak person once he went through his training with the mercenaries but the past year had really called that belief into question. He had never felt so weak and pitiful in his life.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, unable to muster any volume without bursting into tears again.

“For what?” Daisy asked in confusion.

For everything. For so, so much more than he could say. For caring about his revenge more than her, letting her die such a horrible death, and burdening her once he found her.

“For being so weak.”

She pulled away from the hug to frown at him and squish his face in her hands. “Hey. You’ve been through hell and back; anyone would crack because of that. Honestly, I’m amazed you didn’t sooner.

“You aren’t weak, Leo. These things get worse before they get better. I believe in you. There’s a fire in you that won’t go out even if you are having a hard time right now. So hang in there, okay? I’ve got your back no matter what.”

Her words struck a chord. She didn’t know about his powers or the importance of fire in his culture…she must have said that because of the fire mage’s promise he gave a while back.

The other thing that struck him was the last part of what she said. She told him the exact same thing the day she found out about his magic. Her repeating it now was exactly what he needed to hear.

Rukelion gently peeled her hands off his face and kissed her. “Thank you for that.”

“Anytime. Is there anything else you feel like doing right now that will cheer you up?” Daisy asked.

“I wouldn’t mind watching TV right now…but only if you let me use your lap as a pillow. Can we do that? You can pick what we watch. I don’t have an opinion.”

She nodded and sat down on one side of the couch giving him room to curl up on the other and rest his head in her lap. She searched for something to watch with one hand while playing with his hair with the other.

He closed his eyes and relaxed a little. He had always loved when she played with his hair. It was one of the first signs of affection she ever showed him and though he resented it for a while thinking it was only done because she viewed him as a child he had learned that having his hair played with could be romantic as well.

“I love you, Daisy,” Rukelion murmured.

He didn’t expect her to say it back but it still stung when her only response was to pat his shoulder.

When would she love him back? How long would he have to wait to have this again? Would his battered heart survive until then? Having actions that showed she cared wasn’t quite the same without words to back them up.

The actions were nice, don’t get him wrong, but he wanted the words too. He was used to Daisy telling him she loved him. Or he had been before all of this happened.

Rukelion wasn’t used to much of anything these days. His whole world had changed.

This was the second time he had lost his identity and it was so much harder than the first. He missed those precious few months he had been able to be himself but at the same time he didn’t because the woman he loved had been so unhappy during that time. What freed him had caged her.

He would never do that to her again. This time it would be all about what she wanted…even if that meant he was never able to fully fulfil the demands of justice his family and country deserved.

Horrible as it was to think, they were dead. Daisy was alive. She was a higher priority and should have been from the start.

Rukelion tried convincing himself of this but it was difficult. His revenge had consumed him for so long and ultimately left him empty. He wasn’t sure if he would ever be whole again considering all that had happened but he had to try for her sake.

That was why he was still in therapy. Now that the truth was out in the open, it might even be effective. Amy had certainly been shocked but she was supposedly a PTSD expert. She was likely his only hope. If anyone could figure out how to help a deeply scarred fictional character heal it would be her.

He didn’t have any other options. She was aware of the truth because he had accidentally set himself on fire. He couldn’t tell anyone else about it.

If Amy used her PTSD treatment experience armed with knowledge of what actually happened to Rukelion, she should be able to figure something out for him, right? He desperately needed her to so he could move on with his life and make his wife happy.

It would be nice to stop feeling rage all the time too.. It had been with him so long that he didn’t know what life would be like without it but if he was going to live peacefully he would need it to be gone.