I’d Give Up The World For You - Chapter 232

Daisy sighed. “It was. Being so incapacitated without anyone to rely on was horrible. I guess we both had a tough time of it without each other.”

“I wish I could have been there to take care of you,” Rukelion said with great regret.

A tiny smile appeared on her face. “Heaven forbid I get hit by another semitruck but if I ever get sick or hurt again I know you’ll handle it. You did a very thorough job when I was sick before. That was what made me start trusting you a bit when my memories were gone.”

He was well aware of that. He had noticed the shift in her behavior from that point onward and had been incredibly grateful for it.

“I know.”

Daisy let out a laugh. “Let me guess—it was all part of your grand master plan to win me over. You really are too calculating for your own good. But I can’t deny how effective it was.”

Rukelion burned with shame. She had accused him of being an evil genius once before a long, long time ago and he had asked whether or not it was a bad thing. She replied that it depended on what he used his powers for.

There were a lot of things he probably shouldn’t have used them for. Things that she now knew about in much greater detail since she had read the stupid prequel. She didn’t seem to be judging him for them though. That was a relief. He wouldn’t be able to stand her looking at him in disappointment.

But now that she had her memories back Daisy already knew what he was like. She knew he was a monster and loved him anyway.

“It’s honestly shocking you aren’t more angry at me,” he blurted before realizing it wasn’t a good idea to bring that up. It might make her angry now that she was over being happy to remember him.

“About what?”

“Everything.”

Rukelion had essentially killed her. His attacking Demetria directly led to her death though Ira and Sarabeth had their roles to play in the incident as well. All four of them were guilty but Juliet was guiltiest of all for starting that nonsense in the first place.

Daisy looked at him seriously. “My death wasn’t your fault. If anything, it was Juliet’s. You and Ira did your best. And if you think I’d be mad about you stalking me you’re wrong. In a very strange way that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

“How so?’

“You cared enough to cross worlds to find me. No one has ever loved me that much. You put all that effort into finding me again and making things up to me even though I couldn’t remember you and acted like a brat a lot of the time. That’s a pretty big deal in my book, Rukelion.”

He was relieved she wasn’t more upset with him. He had dealt with more of her being upset than he ever wanted to again.

Rukelion knew he still had a long way to go though. Daisy would likely continue to get occasionally frustrated with him as he continued to try and improve himself but he could live with that. He knew what he had done wrong. He deserved it.

All he cared about was that she stayed with him and continued to love him anyway. He could handle anything as long as he had her love and support. He had learned that long ago.

“I’m glad you feel that way because I totally feel like it was my fault,” he said, anguished as he was reminded of the baby’s loss as well.

She caressed his cheek. “You did the best you could for me and the baby. I don’t blame you for what happened.”

How had she read his mind? He hadn’t wanted her to think about the baby! She had been nervous at first but once she got past that she had truly loved their child and looked forward to welcoming it to the world.

“All of those precautions and in the end I couldn’t protect either of you! Why wouldn’t you blame me for that?” Rukelion demanded. “You should! If I had checked to see if their group had any other mages none of that would have happened and all three of us would be safely at home now.”

“There isn’t a point beating yourself up for things that are already over and done,” Daisy said softly.

There was in his mind. He had done it countless times over the years but especially since arriving in this world. He had made so many mistakes that led him here.

“We can never get back the one we lost but we can have other kids someday,” she continued, snapping him to attention.

“Someday?” Rukelion asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, someday. The timing was terrible then and it’s even worse now to try for something like that. Kids need stability, Rukelion, and right now you’re not stable. You catch on fire when you’re upset.

“People have kids older here than they do in your world anyway. We aren’t rushed for time. I think we should wait until you’re done with school. By then we’ll be more financially stable and you’ll most likely have made more progress in therapy.”

He couldn’t deny she had a point. Things did work differently here. People tended to delay marriage and childbirth. Waiting for that wouldn’t be the end of the world.

Rukelion could focus on enjoying this time with his wife now that he had her back fully. There were so many things to do in this world and a lot of them would probably be difficult with children around. He needed to focus on the positive. They would have the family he wanted so badly eventually.

“Alright. Whatever you want.”

Daisy frowned. “That reminds me…you can’t just do what I want all the time. You need to do things you want. What DO you want?”

Not much honestly. At this point all he really cared about what getting past his trauma to live in peace and making sure his family’s and country’s memories were honored in what minimal way he could make happen in this world.

“I already got most of what I wanted,” Rukelion told her. “Since you remember me and forgive me for being so stupid and selfish. I want to live peacefully on a nice piece of land with you and our future family. Aside from that all I care about is assuaging my guilt toward those I abandoned in order to be happy.”

“Your family,” she surmised.

He nodded. “Yes. Amy came up with the rather terrible yet oddly brilliant idea of having me write fanfiction about Katalya and my family. At least that way all of the fans of that horrible book will have access to it and might be influenced in some small way. I don’t want them to be forgotten.”

“She knows about you?!”

“It was impossible to keep the truth from her after I accidentally set myself on fire during a therapy session. She was shocked at first but adapted surprisingly quickly. I think at this point she truly has seen everything.”

Daisy let out a disbelieving laugh. “No way! I wonder how she feels knowing she’s treating a fictional character for PTSD.”

Rukelion frowned. “Speaking of, why didn’t you tell me? You obviously knew. I had to hear it from HER.”

“I didn’t want you to have an identity crisis,” she said as if it should be obvious. “Which you clearly are having now that you know. Who wants to know that their whole life is predestined, let alone to be a villain?”

He certainly hadn’t. He figured her motivations must have been something like that. She was always looking out for him, wasn’t she? Typical Daisy.

“You knew what I was supposed to be and you still didn’t give up on me. Why?”

Rukelion plainly remembered their last conversation before she died. She thought she wasn’t enough and that Juliet might be more right about him than she had wanted to admit since he was starting to spiral even then.

“Because I love you,” Daisy said simply. “You’ve done a lot of bad things in the pursuit of revenge but even now I don’t think you’re a bad person. You’re far too kindhearted for that.”

He was only kindhearted to her. He loved her. Why wouldn’t he be? But she was the only one he truly cared about. People he had considered friends were left to clean up his mess without a second thought because they didn’t matter compared to her.

Maybe he truly was a villain. Selfish. Always so selfish. He would do anything to get what he wanted and didn’t care who he trampled on in the process. It had been like that ever since the fall of Katalya.

The innocent boy he had once been who had loved his family and his country more than anything had died that day along with anyone else. All that was left was a bitter, hatred-filled shell until Daisy coaxed a bit of his lighter side out.

Even toward her he had always been selfish. He knew she was too good for him and manipulated her into being with him anyway. That sure seemed like villain territory to him.

“You think far too highly of me,” Rukelion said self-deprecatingly.

She clucked at him. “None of that! I don’t care what you say. You’re a good person and you’re trying your best to be better.”

He couldn’t argue with that part. He was trying to be better for her sake. To be the kind of man she deserved.. The kind that could actually make her happy instead of dragging her down with him.