I’d Give Up The World For You - Chapter 244

“Are you that upset with me?” Rukelion asked quietly.

Daisy sighed and sat up to face him. “This has been going on for a long time. I’m not upset WITH you as much as I’m upset FOR you. You deserve better. I don’t want you to hate it here since you gave up everything to follow me.”

“I don’t hate it here. What gave you that idea?”

“But you’re so stressed all the time!”

“I would have been equally stressed back in the castle. Perhaps even more so. Honestly, what happened was horrible but it was probably for the best.”

She goggled at him. “When did you come to that conclusion?!”

“I don’t know…not long after we moved here? It hit me one day when we were gardening together that we never would have been able to have that sort of simple family togetherness if I was still king,” he said with a shrug.

“What happened will haunt me for the rest of my life but I did get you and Rosie back in the end. You’re happier here and growing up as a normal kid instead of a princess she’s probably better off too.

“Our kids can be whatever they want to be here instead of feeling like they had to be something or other for the sake of their country. I understand that now. If I had grown up the way you had, I would have felt the same way.”

Daisy was floored. “If you really think what happened was ultimately for the best, why are you still so haunted by it that you can’t be at peace?”

“I already got a second chance. I doubt I’ll get a third,” Rukelion said quietly. “This is it. If I screw up again I’m never getting anyone I love back. What will become of me then? I don’t want to become what that horrible woman intended me to be.”

That made more sense. She had been worried about him going down that path before he watched her and Roselia die in front of him. Afterward he was so emotionally unstable he burst into flame at random for quite a long time. She could understand why he was concerned about giving into the madness completely if he had to go through losing any family members a third time.

There was a solid chance his psyche wouldn’t be able to take it. He had already been through too much.

“You’re better than that, Rukelion,” Daisy said firmly. “You’ve already made so many good choices on your own that she had nothing to do with. You would never do something that would hurt an innocent purpose on purpose.

“Think about all the people you saved during your time in the volunteer fire department! Those weren’t the actions of a villain. So—heaven forbid—if something does happen to one of us someday you aren’t going to go down that road. You’re too good a person.”

Rukelion let out a hollow laugh. “I’m not a good person at all. My selfishness is hurting you, as always. I’m sorry, Daisy. I knew from the start that you were too good for me but I rationalized and rationalized before going for it anyway. Everything ‘good’ in my life came from you and still does.

“Whatever goodness was in me as a child died when my family did. Anything else came from knowing you. So if you weren’t here, there are absolutely no guarantees what I would or wouldn’t do.”

Daisy’s heart clenched. She knew he was better than that. He loved the kids about as much as he loved her…he would find a way to hold himself together for their sakes if the worst happened. She knew he would.

“Don’t underestimate yourself,” she said as she poked him in the chest. “You’re the most determined person I’ve ever met. If you want something, you’ll find a way to make it happen. Even if it is hard and involves moving on from horrible trauma.

“Think of what you’ve done already! Anybody else who’s been through what you have would be either dead or a raging drug addict like my mother trying to drown out reality. But you haven’t. You’ve stayed focused and done your best.

“I’m proud of you for the person you’ve become, Rukelion. Even if you are a bit too neurotic about safety and having all of us in your sight 24/7. You’ve made mistakes but you’ve also done your best to compensate for them and move forward. That’s amazing!”

Rukelion scooted closer and leaned his head on her shoulder as his arm went around her back. He sighed. “You’re the amazing one for thinking that despite all I’ve done. Thank you for continuing to love me.”

Daisy kissed the top of his head. “Course I love you, dummy. For better or worse, you’re mine and I’m yours.”

He let out a small contented hum, cheered up from when he was down on himself a moment ago. “And that is my greatest blessing. I’ll go back to therapy. For you.”

“Okay but I want you to do it for you too. That’s more important.”

The noncommittal noise he made wasn’t reassuring but at least she had gotten him to agree to go. He really did need to learn to accept things the way they were without panicking so much.

===

Time went on. Rukelion did get better about not freaking out about being apart from his family so much to her great relief.

About a year after that conversation they managed to go on their first ever couple’s vacation to the Keyes, which were a few hours away from where they lived. It may have been a small start since it was only for a weekend but he handed his phone over to her at the beginning of the drive and didn’t text the babysitter at all.

Daisy still checked in a couple of times a day and he anxiously awaited the verdict but aside from that he did a pretty good job of keeping his attention on her and what they were doing. She was incredibly proud of him for that and was sure to let him know exactly how much she appreciated his efforts. He had been pretty happy about that so ultimately the trip was a success.

His new therapist, Jonathan, didn’t know the truth about him like Amy did. The cover story was that his family had been murdered in front of him with guns instead of impaled on spikes and that he had seen his pregnant first wife die as well, hence his terror of losing his “new” wife and children now.

Jonathan wasn’t aware that Rukelion’s two wives were the same person or that he had been able to raise that lost child after all. He didn’t know about his former anger issues or how his heart had been consumed by revenge.

All it was consumed by now was love and worry. Those two things seemed to go hand-in-hand with him.

The therapist primarily focused on his anxiety after learning how much therapy he had been through. Processing the trauma wasn’t the problem. Living with the aftermath in a normal, peaceful life was.

Rukelion was doing well with him despite the restrictions on what he could say. Daisy was hopeful that he would be able to finally relax in no time.

Life calmed down as he did. Their children continued to grow and soon Peony joined her sister in learning fire magic. At first she had been put out about not being let in on the secret earlier but that was soon eclipsed by her excitement about having powers.

The girls were still very close though Peony was more outgoing and more involved in extracurricular activities than her sister. Roselia hung out with her when she was home and when she wasn’t she preferred to spend her time reading rather than going out and finding people to spend time with.

Daisy was fairly certain she had read every book in the children’s section of the library by the time she was ten. Finding new reading material for her that was age appropriate became progressively more difficult as time went on.

One day they were in the library trying to find some potential new material in the teen section when Roselia came across a horribly familiar book. She read the back cover and frowned up at her mother.

“Why does this book talk about Katalya and have Dad’s name on it?”

Her heart nearly stopped. Throne of Fire. Of all the books in the entire teen section why did she have to pick up that one?!

The kids knew Rukelion was from somewhere very far away and that was why he changed his name after coming here (since Daisy called him by his real name but he went by Leo everywhere but home). They didn’t know that somewhere happened to be inside of a novel series.

“Don’t bring that book up to your dad,” Daisy said in a low voice.. “All it will do is upset him.”