I’d Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please - Chapter 186

Mark groans as he rubs the side of his head, managing not to smudge his makeup with well-practiced ease.

“Okay. Okay. I see where you’re coming from, now. Following that logic, whenever they encouraged me to decommission any bots, it is probably because the parts they’d cycle through it were no longer mainstream. Of course, a new bot is much more profitable for them than needing to actually keep out-of-date spare parts around… Since everything worked reasonably well and they never seemed to make any outrageous requests, they had enough credibility that I just believed them when they said a bot was at that point… Arg.” Once Mark finishes speaking, he heaves a deep sigh.

Miss Calculated nods a few times, but before she has a chance to respond, Miss Chievous hums while turning to look at the discussing duo and cuts in.

“Hey, Mary, do you think you were driven to figure this out for him so he’d have enough money spare to fully fund all your upcoming research? So Lucas doesn’t have to? I’d believe far weirder conspiracies, as long as they still involved Alley Cat getting money out of the deal, in some way.” Before Miss Chievous was even done saying this much, both Mark and Miss Calculated hung their heads and made some defeated laughter.

This only encourages her further.

“Like, even just half of what he was probably getting extorted for would be more than enough for a ton of pet projects for you. Between this and the vitzlite tools increasing profits, he’ll be able to expand, which means he’ll keep making enough money to keep funding whatever it is your ideas snowball off to. Any bets you’re gonna end up designing things Alley Cat needs for some reason?” Once Miss Chievous is done with saying this, Miss Calculated rubs her forehead briefly while lifting her head to look at her.

“Well, Lucas is going to be funding their expansion, correct? So, assuming they’ll demo the existing building and rebuild something custom for their purposes, they’ll need manpower to demo, cleanup, build, and then once it’s all done, staff it. Assuming Lucas…” Miss Calculated glances at Lucas and then over to Miss Masher Masher before continuing.

“…and most likely also Marsha will do the demo work, they’ll then want bots for everything else. If the revenge plan results in completely taking out the fraudulent shop, we will potentially end up with more bots than we even know what to do with. So, we’d loan, sell at discount, or just outright give them away for free to Alley Cat for their own purposes.” As Miss Calculated comes to this conclusion, Mark lifts his head with a good-humored expression.

“I just hope that this wasn’t all set up long ago, and it is only a recent adjustment to causality. Though, I suppose I might be getting the majority of that extorted money back, anyway. Or, actually, even end up profiting overall. Goodness, I can’t find any holes in the logic for this all being interconnected. May all of Alley Cat’s influence continue being in our favor.” Once Mark is done saying this, he lifts a hand to mime the gesture of holding a drink up for a toast.

Miss Calculated also matches the motion, following up by tapping her imaginary drink against his.

“Indeed. Hmm, fixing up the derelict bots from this floor alone should probably be all I need for my own full-fledged research lab for… quite some time. I’m sure you, Mark, would like some of the bots from the raid, but there really is an upper limit as to how many bots are actually all that useful to have around at once.” Miss Calculated drops the pageantry and resumes musing aloud, getting a nod in response from Mark for her question.

After pondering for a few seconds, Mark’s face lights up. At least, what’s visible of it, around his mask.

“Oh, we’ll probably end up trading all those surplus nearly-new base model bots for old ones while hunting for more sapient bots. At least, beyond what is initially outright purchased. Later on, it can serve as an optional alternative. A bot that is worth one amount, vs the cash for, say, 70% of the bot’s retail value. Most people will take the new bot, if not ALL of them, when really it’s also the more beneficial option for us, as well. The fact that money is even an option should at least slightly alleviate any concerns that we’re just flipping junk bots.” While Mark is speaking, 23 has returned from its latest wanderings, now carrying a headless bot.

23 gently sets it down to the rusted antique one, and from behind 23 comes out another service bot with a small box.

Once 23 is upright again, it looks at Mark, glances at Lucas attaching a new-found different-colored leg to George, then settles its attention on Miss Calculated.

“I would advise additionally offering a reduced value option in exchange for the core alone, for ones that were previously replaced without being destroyed. Perhaps some bots achieved, or were on the cusp of achieving, sapience, and exhibited some degree of strange behavior, which their owners ‘solved’ via core replacement.” When 23 joins in the conversation, Miss Calculated raises a brow at it.

“Ah, right, you weren’t around when we had the conversation earlier. But, yes, certainly, as the core is all we’re actually looking for, anyway. Hmm, though we’ll need to set up a way of testing if they’re operational, rather than wasting money by buying them all on faith and receiving broken ones that people found in a junkheap. Building an open-front limited functionality testing bot shouldn’t be problematic. Though, needing to line up my schedule with all the potential sellers in order to do the test before purchasing will be… troublesome.” Miss Calculated follows with a sigh, already annoyed in advance by the effort that will be involved.

23, however, is far less concerned.

“You could, at your convenience, teach me how to properly mount cores. At the very least, how to mount to the testing shell, if not in general. Once I have sufficient experience doing so, I will eventually be able to work out a comprehensive ruleset to provide for… less matured bots. Assuming the core is advanced enough to have any adaptability, being awoken in a different body won’t be crippling. It will merely require an adjustment period, which will be very brief before it is capable of managing sufficient communications to prove it is functional. It shouldn’t be much of a challenge to figure out a series of questions to ask in order to determine if it is what we are looking for, and as long as we document an acceptable range of answers, any bot with the ruleset can do the questioning.” When 23 offers its services in Miss Calculated’s place, her eyes widen.

“Of course! There’s no reason you couldn’t do everything that some lazy hack of a technician can do! Teaching you should be easier than tutoring a person, as you already have an intimate knowledge of all the parts involved. Your only limitation is the mechanical precision required for handling small parts and tools… Upgrading a hand or two of yours would certainly be useful for countless reasons, anyway.” After saying this, Miss Calculated gains a grin that is approaching mad-scientist levels, her mask thankfully hiding her questionable-sanity-level indicator.

23 holds up one of its pronged hands, looking at it briefly before looking at her again.

“I would welcome such upgrades. There shouldn’t be much of a learning curve to operating multiple flexible, perhaps even telescopic, digits. Keeping at least one standard claw would still have its uses, though.” 23’s answer is the tipping point for Miss Calculated making some delighted nerd laughter.

“Of course! Why, every hand should have a unique set of built-in, retractable, power tools! You’ll have limited usage for them while you’re still battery operated, but once you have your reactor… you’ll be better suited for doing assembly and maintenance than I am!” Upon finishing her exclamations, Miss Calculated embraces her inclination for maniacal laughter.

—–

Lucas’s total kills: 7

Lucas’s total deaths: 11

Lucas’s total assists: 1

Lucas’s current GDV: 17.38

Lucas’s fame level: 6.0* (Local fame is completely maxed, he’s creeping up on minor celebrity status even on a global scale. Thanks, internet.)

Lucas’s hero suspicion level: 2.0*

Jonathan’s total kills: 7

Jonathan’s total deaths: 2

Jonathan’s current GDV: 6.07

Jonathan’s fame level: 4.0* (Local fame is near-max, but everyone thinks of him via his affiliation with Lucas, and not often just for him, alone.)

Jonathan’s hero suspicion level: 2.5*

Willy’s fame level: 4.5* (With how popular he’s become, it’s only a matter of time before people start realizing just how smart he is.)

Mr. Quacks’s fame level: 5.0* (His local and global fame are nearly even, he’s a full-blown internet sensation.)

Supervillain social circle size: 15

—–

Little character theater:

Jonathan, amused by the nerdery that is going on, but still creeping towards the elevator: ‘Should I just go? They’ll figure out where I went eventually, right?’

Willy has taken on sorting duty, nosing aside pieces that are genuinely garbage away from potentially useful bot components: Bark!

Lucas, cheering now that George has all of the appropriate limbs and extremities: Look at you, good as new!

427, mentally facepalming: [If you tried to dress that mess and put it on a sales floor, Mark would probably slap you.]

Author, feigning affront at 427’s comment: George is just… Culturally diverse! Representation is important! So what if he sorta resembles Frankenstein’s monster!

Mr. Quacks, having a staring contest with a decommissioned bot he found in another room: Quack…