I’d Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please - Chapter 199

Once Lucas has finished lacing up his leather dress shoes, he tucks away his phone, the bag of marbles, and the keyfob. As he’s standing up he loosely loops his tie around his collar, then opens the door with one hand while grabbing his suit jacket with the other.

Barely taking one step out of the changing room, he’s briefly disoriented, and then… he is back in the room, in the middle of putting on his belt.

‘…The fuck?’

Right outside of the changing room door there is a startled gasp, followed by a muffled whimper.

‘Oh, shit, did Jon have a rollback?’

“Well shit, guess that didn’t work, huh?” Lucas finishes buckling his belt, then opens the door again to look at Jonathan, who looks a touch paler than normal.

“Y-yeah… There’s um, n-no one else nearby, so it should be o-okay to talk… So, um, the… target? Uh, he’s a strength supe, but whatever d-drug he’s on seemed to make him even s-stronger? And tougher? My knife didn’t even phase him, and the m-moment he got hold of me… ugh. He was pretty crazy, I think it’s something even more, uh, potent than whatever that weird guy that was, um, b-bothering me yesterday was on.” As Jonathan diligently reports his findings, Lucas winces.

‘The fuck, there are drugs that work on powers?’

[…None that are considered advisable to use. He probably had to go into fairly severe overdose for it to make any difference, and it most likely didn’t actually strengthen him so much as dampen his pain receptors so much that he isn’t holding back from ripping apart his own muscles. Even without your intervention, it’s unlikely he’ll live through the hour, that’s why your task is just to mitigate the destruction he’s about to cause. But, that’s operating on previously documented info, for all I know they may have, in fact, managed some new sort of drug, which he unfortunately sampled.]

“…Well, fuck…” Lucas mutters under his breath while wrinkling his brow.

Once Lucas’s attention returns to reality and he turns his gaze over to look at Jonathan again, Jonathan similarly seemed to be out of focus and just snapped to the present once more, slightly after Lucas did.

“I, um, I’m gonna try Maria’s knife on him. But, I… I don’t know how to explain why I grabbed it from her though, but that’s a, um, f-future problem, I guess?” After Jonathan finishes saying this, Lucas chuckles and nods.

“Yeah, what matters is seein’ if it even helps. Uh, I guess if things are workin’ out, I’ll try to come up with some sorta excuse by the time I see her? Good luck, kiddo, I’ll get there asap.” As Lucas is saying this, he settles down to start pulling on a sock.

Jonathan nods, tosses Lucas’s phone over onto the bench once again, and zooms away.

Lucas finishes getting ready and leaves the changing room once more. While he’s en route to the front lobby area he pulls on his suit jacket, leaving it unbuttoned as he starts tugging his tie into position to potentially knot it once he’s in the elevator.

After he walks around the last corner he can see Miss Chievous sitting in the armchair, with the black messenger bag on the chair with her, Miss Masher standing in front of her, and that the two of them are chatting with each other.

Right when Lucas raises a hand to wave at them to greet them, he feels a brief moment of disorientation, and then… he is back in the changing room, in the middle of putting on his belt.

‘GODDAMNIT this rollback point is annoying as hell!’

[…At least you don’t have to experience death every time, unlike the hissing teen outside your door.]

‘…Fair.’

After Jonathan finished gasping, making a sharp hiss, and then angrily muttering “fuck” under his breath, he directly opens the changing room door to face Lucas.

‘Hah! I’m not used to him cursing like that, priceless.’

Regardless of Lucas’s inner amusement at Jonathan’s cross suffering, Jonathan proceeds to give his round two report.

“Well, the kn-knife t-technically works… But, um, i-it was really slow? It felt like I was t-trying to push a blunt knife through thick r-rubber… It was really good at pissing him off, though… He started, uh, screaming, and m-managed to get even more v-violent before the cut got very, um, far. I was just able to d-dodge longer this time…” After Jonathan finishes his info update, it’s Lucas’s turn to hiss.

“Oh, I guess that’s why Marsha said earlier that she’d just have to hold me still while one of the others cut me… huh.” When Lucas muses this out loud, Jonathan has a clearly confused expression as he looks at him.

“When..? But, um, w-when Mary used her knife on the e-enhanced cloth… it was kinda quick?” As Jonathan asks this, Lucas waves a hand from side to side dismissively, then plops down to put his socks on, yet again.

“Eh, don’t worry about it, she was just jokin’ around earlier. Huh, right, Mary’s knife was pretty fast though, wasn’t it..? Oh, it has a skinny blade though, yeah? Like a razor?” After Lucas points out this particular detail, Jonathan hums briefly.

“R-right, she sounded worried that it might even b-break… And, um, the cloth was thin… so it’s not as dense as a p-person? E-even if it doesn’t break if I try it on him, it is so s-small that I probably couldn’t do much, with h-how much he kept thrashing around… I, um, n-need you to hold him in place, unless y-you’re strong enough to, um, not need my help?” While Jonathan is saying this, Lucas is making decent progress on lacing up his shoes.

“Huh, only one way to find out, yeah? Think ya can slow him down a little, to buy me time to get there? At least help a few people out, or somethin’?” Lucas looks up at Jonathan once he finishes lacing up his second shoe and holds out his right hand for his phone, which Jonathan promptly hands over.

“Y-yeah, I can at least try to get some people out of harm’s way, m-maybe even get him to go outside. D-do you think you’ll be okay getting out of here, without it seeming, um, weird?” As Jonathan is asking this, Lucas tucked away his phone, the bag of marbles, and the keyfob once again.

Lucas hums absentmindedly as he loops the tie around his collar while standing up, then nods at Jonathan once before grabbing his suit jacket and taking a step forward to leave.

‘I can probably bribe at least Maria easy enough by sayin’ I’ll pay fer whatever drinks or snacks they want, yeah?’

[Hmm, yes, most likely. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s bored enough that she’d tag along regardless of any offerings.]

“Yeah, should be fine. Uh, I guess hold off on grabbin’ the knife just yet? I’ll see if they maybe wanna come with, and that way she’ll be close by when ya need it. It’d be a lot easier to explain why ya nabbed it if she actually saw us fightin’, yeah? If she stays behind I’ll, uh, pass a message along, so ya can come back an’ snag it before ya need it.” Even though they’re fairly comfortable talking about the mission, Lucas is still hesitant to directly mention 427 out loud.

Jonathan seems to understand him just fine anyway, as he nods and then darts off.

‘I freakin’ swear, if he has another rollback before I even make it out of the building…’

[…It’s not like he’s doing it on purpose…]

—–

Lucas’s total kills: 7

Lucas’s total deaths: 11

Lucas’s total assists: 1

Lucas’s current GDV: 17.43 [Recalculating…]

Lucas’s fame level: 6.0* (Local fame is completely maxed, he’s creeping up on minor celebrity status even on a global scale. Thanks, internet.)

Lucas’s hero suspicion level: 2.0*

Jonathan’s total kills: 7

Jonathan’s total deaths: 4 (+2)

Jonathan’s current GDV: 6.10 [Recalculating…]

Jonathan’s fame level: 4.0* (Local fame is near-max, but everyone thinks of him via his affiliation with Lucas, and not often just for him, alone.)

Jonathan’s hero suspicion level: 2.5*

Willy’s fame level: 4.75* (Recently increased thanks to a new wave of memes featuring him and Mr. Quacks.)

Mr. Quacks’s fame level: 5.25* (Recently increased thanks to a new wave of memes featuring him and Willy.)

Supervillain social circle size: 15

—–

Little character theater:

Jonathan still diligently runs over to the elevators to hit the call button before charging his way outside. Thanks to his delay from talking to Lucas longer, there’s already a large hole smashed through the wall next to the bathroom doors in the cafe, with a hyperventilating muscular man standing in said opening, looking around in a panicked state while his eyes are dilated.

Willy isn’t all that much further into his dream, considering how little time has passed as far as non-system users are concerned.

Lucas, now fussing with his collar, as he’s satisfied that the suit jacket is sufficiently in place: For real though, at least give me a chance to do something before I have to go finish getting ready again!

427, pausing for a few moments before responding, resisting the urge to sigh: […Shouldn’t you be more concerned with not needing to have another rollback?]

Author, shaking their head: Now, now, 427. You should know better than to try to apply sensible logic to Lucas.

Mr. Quacks, sitting next to Quackette on top of the glass bakery case in the cafe, a safe distance away from the action, torn between the conflicting interest of watching over Jonathan vs trying to decide what slice of cake he wants to eat: Quack…

Author, clearing their throat and facing the audience: Since as a non-exclusive contracted author, I no longer have access to author notes, I’ll have to put it here:

I’m part of a discord server with a handful of other authors for our various works, as well as an absolute ton of memes. Readers welcome, we’ve got over 50 supes at the time of posting, and the more, the merrier! We have a custom bot that distributes tasks, manages superpower roles, and tracks GDV. We’ve even implemented a stat system based on your superpowers, and will soon have interactive tasks with perhaps pokemon-style combat, as well as a dueling system.

https://discord.gg/MR6FnbmPRQ

Or you can visit my easily searchable WordPress for a clickable link: https://geminel.wordpress.com/

Mr. Quacks, insisting on still having the last word: Quack!