I’d Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please - Chapter 203

Once Lucas regathers his scattered wits and quits gawking at the ensuing destruction across the street, he rushes down the stairs two steps at a time.

Since Miss Masher and Miss Chievous both noticed his odd behavior, they look over as well. Miss Chievous hisses, whereas Miss Masher says “Oh shit…” under her breath.

‘Ugh, going through the two crosswalks is gonna take so long, should I just run right through the damn intersection? Bah, the accidents it would cause will lose more points than I save by rushin’ over, yeah?’

[Most likely. If you really want to hurry, you should just jump over the traffic.]

‘…Wait, what?’

[…It’s not only your arms that have super-strength, you know. Even without practice, your endurance will ensure you won’t hurt yourself, but your proprioception will probably help you out enough that it won’t matter.]

‘HOLY FUCK WHY DIDN’T YOU EVER MENTION JUMPING SOONER!? THIS IS GONNA BE SO AWESOME!’

[…]

Once he’s past the bottom step, he takes a few more strides towards the corner of the sidewalk directly across from the cafe, making a couple of small practice hops to get a feel for what he’s about to do.

Before he can manage the last few running steps to give it a shot, Miss Chievous shouts out “STOP!” at him, which successfully makes him freeze in place.

“You’re about to jump over, right? Bring us with you! Mash has no business risking it without endurance!” As Miss Chievous makes her request, Miss Masher snorts, but she is also looking at Lucas with a bit of an expectant expression.

‘…Oh come on, she already realized I could jump over too!? Wait, why’d she call her Mash..?’

[You’re out in public, surrounded by strangers again.]

‘OH! That makes sense!’

[…]

“Uhh, are ya sure..? I don’t exactly jump around all that often…” While Lucas equivocates, Miss Masher rolls her eyes at him.

“Quit pretendin’ like you don’t have crazy good balance and control. Come on, yer just wastin’ time, Jon needs our help!” When Miss Masher calls him out on his proprioception with no uncertain words, Lucas sucks in a sharp breath and locks up briefly.

‘Ah, fuck. I guess she DIDN’T believe the fuckups I made in front of her before?’

[…Seems like it. But, she’s right, now’s not the time to worry about that. I have a feeling Jonathan didn’t expect you to take so long to get there, and he may be overtaxing himself.]

“Er, in that case, pardon my reach, then?” By the time Lucas finishes saying this, Miss Chievous is already standing next to his left side, and Miss Masher by his right. He unceremoniously reaches around both of their waists, looping an arm around each of them, glancing around the area to ensure no notably large trucks are about to come through.

Satisfied that nothing too tall is driving through the vicinity, he takes the last few running steps before leaping off of the edge of the sidewalk.

The downward force he exerted on the corner leaves a few spiderweb cracks, but it’s more due to the poor state of disrepair it was already in, and not so much from the admittedly excessive force he used when launching himself.

Lucas, unsurprisingly, jumps higher than necessary, out of inexperience combined with the sheer novelty of super-jumping. He is at least conscious of not leaping so high that coming down again would pose too problematic for his companions.

Roughly around the moment they reach the top trajectory of the jump, Lucas makes a triumphant whoop, Miss Masher laughs delightedly, and Miss Chievous has her arms thrown up in the air while going “Whee!”

However, the fun is short-lived, as it takes not even a full second more before Lucas lands on the sidewalk in front of the cafe, crouching slightly to reduce the impact. He’s completely unphased by the landing, but both Miss Chievous and Miss Masher grunted upon stopping.

As Lucas rights them again, helping them settle their feet against the sidewalk, both he and Miss Masher have huge grins. Miss Chievous, however, is frowning slightly, trying to track Jonathan’s movements to hopefully catch sight of him long enough to see what kind of condition he’s in.

Miss Masher glances at Lucas and chuckles as she turns her attention towards the recently aggressively renovated building before them.

“See? You didn’t even stagger a little bit when ya landed. Ya shifted your hold on us at the right time to help cushion the landin’, too. But, sure, I guess we can try an’ pretend like ya don’t got more than just strength and endurance goin’ on.” Miss Masher lowered her voice enough that even though she’s right next to Lucas, he could barely hear her, let alone anyone else.

He angrily glares at her, but she just laughs and slaps his back, pushing him forward towards the cafe.

“Yeah, yeah. Me an’ my sisters won’t go tellin’ anyone without good reason. Ya obviously don’t want it pointed out. Go on, let’s find out what’s goin’ on.” Miss Masher continues, and Lucas can’t bring himself to argue the point.

‘I really don’t like how completely sure of it she is…’

[Well, she IS right. Frankly, knowing that they’re going to cooperate on keeping it semi-secret is a good thing, at least. If Miss Calculated hadn’t already realized something was fishy, she certainly would in due time, so having Miss Masher’s word in advance that they’re not going to run around shouting it from the rooftops is nice.]

‘…I guess. So, what’s the deal? This rampaging asshat runnin’ out of energy or anythin’ yet?’

As Lucas is mentally asking 427 this, he leads the way into the building, courtesy of a conveniently closely located smashed-open window. Its late glass contents are shattered across the sidewalk with a bent chair lying in the middle of the mess it made, and it’s by no means the only one littering the area.

[That’s not really something I can accurately measure, but according to 011, he seems to have slowed down a little bit, so he’s probably feeling the drain to his stamina. Or, he has enough of a shred of rationality left to realize he needs to conserve his energy instead of too-actively chasing Jonathan. But… given the state of things, I’m not particularly inclined towards the latter.]

A blur zips past in front of Lucas, coming to a stop a few feet to his right and revealing a heavily breathing Jonathan.

“You’re finally here!” Jonathan gasps a few more breaths after saying this, then charges away again before the angrily yelling muscley over-medicated menace crashes down with both fists where Jonathan was just temporarily parked, shattering a few of the floor tiles with his exaggerated attack.

It doesn’t take the aggressor particularly long to stagger to his feet again, rapidly turning his head as he looks for Jonathan, largely ignoring the three recently arrived people.

Jonathan stops again a few feet off to Lucas’s other side, gasping twice before continuing his address.

“Careful! He’s p-probably strong enough to get,” Jonathan gasps again between words before continuing, “through your endurance!” He then darts off across the room again, the delirious druggy roaring once more as he rushes over and swings at the empty air Jonathan just vacated.

‘…This is kinda funny. How the hell did kiddo piss him off enough that he didn’t even react to us showin’ up?’

Right on cue, Jonathan stops at a far side of the room, panting a few times before shouting at the berserk man.

“HEY FUCKFACE, OVER HERE YA SLOWPOKE!” Before Jonathan is even completely finished yelling, his opponent has swung around in place to face him, starting to run at him while shrieking inarticulately.

Adding insult to injury, Jonathan blows a raspberry at him before darting off again.

‘Yeah, okay, I guess that would do it.’

Lucas breaks out laughing, which finally attracts the addled addict’s attention.

‘Ah, whoops.’

—–

Lucas’s total kills: 7

Lucas’s total deaths: 11

Lucas’s total assists: 1

Lucas’s current GDV: 17.43 [Recalculating…]

Lucas’s fame level: 6.0* (Local fame is completely maxed, he’s creeping up on minor celebrity status even on a global scale. Thanks, internet.)

Lucas’s hero suspicion level: 2.0*

Jonathan’s total kills: 7

Jonathan’s total deaths: 4

Jonathan’s current GDV: 6.10 [Recalculating…]

Jonathan’s fame level: 4.0* (Local fame is near-max, but everyone thinks of him via his affiliation with Lucas, and not often just for him, alone.)

Jonathan’s hero suspicion level: 2.5*

Willy’s fame level: 4.75* (Recently increased thanks to a new wave of memes featuring him and Mr. Quacks.)

Mr. Quacks’s fame level: 5.25* (Recently increased thanks to a new wave of memes featuring him and Willy.)

Supervillain social circle size: 15

—–

Little character theater:

Jonathan realizes he lost aggro and takes the opportunity to sprint outside, crouching down out of the line of sight of the destructive dude and taking a few moments to catch his breath: Um, tag, you’re it?

Willy snorts in his sleep, waking himself up. After groggily looking around the area and realizing there’s nothing going on, he burrows under the blanket and dozes back off again before long.

Lucas, laughing again: Yeah, yeah. Take yer break, kiddo. Ya earned it.

427, diligently getting all the info he can from 011, as well as actively scanning the area: [Jonathan’s speculation that the target may be strong enough to harm you through your endurance is most likely accurate.]

Author, reaching over and gently patting Jonathan on the head: Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you get lots of tasty snacks later. Good work.

Mr. Quacks and Quackette haven’t moved very far within the refrigerated display case, and there are notably fewer baked goods than there were previously: Quack!