I’d Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please - Chapter 207

While Lucas’s lingering overwhelming pain has overloaded his senses a bit, he feels a rising panic upon realizing he’s having some difficulty breathing, and is lying on his back whilst cradled in debris.

‘Wai- no, no, NO!’

[Hmm? Oh, calm down. It’s the first time, when you didn’t actually get injured.]

‘OH THANK FUCK!’

[…Well, at least you don’t have to get dressed again.]

‘Wait… But wouldn’t that have been a good thing? That conversation woulda gone better now that I’m more prepared for it… Damn.’

[Let’s just take it to mean that Boss System deemed it satisfactory?]

‘More like it’s just bein’ stingy. Bah.’

Lucas’s senses have stabilized, as well as his breathing, and he sits up in time to watch the overdosed annoyance getting shoved a short distance into his direction while encased in his artisanal table taco, courtesy of Miss Masher.

Just like last time around, Miss Masher is chuckling and cracking her knuckles while slowly approaching him, saying the same thing word for word, “Yeah yeah, rawreaoublurg to you too, heheh. The fuck is this dude’s problem, anyway?”

While their opponent is being antagonized once again, Lucas pulls himself up a bit sooner than last time around. He neatens up his clothes all the same, though.

“Well, one thing’s for sure, the dude’s completely out of his gourd. Hey, Jon, ya got any ideas? Oh, he shouldn’t be able ta catch ya anymore, by the way. Should be safe for ya to come out.” Lucas attracts the angry table-fashion critic’s attention while yelling this out.

One of Jonathan’s eyebrows rises as he catches the subtle difference in Lucas’s statement this time around and he momentarily looks pensive.

It’s short-lived though, and he cautiously stands up, successfully avoiding cutting his hand this time around. His gaze lingers where Miss Chievous is once again stealthily hiding for a second before he looks over in Lucas’s direction.

“S-sorta? I’m not sure… Um, he’s p-probably on some c-crazy drugs, though. He c-came ripping out of the, um, b-bathroom like that. Would, um, C-Calc be able to study it, if we found any that was left b-behind? Maybe get a b-blood sample, with your kn-knife?” When Jonathan gets to the last question, he turns his gaze down to Miss Chievous’s vicinity, completely ignoring the approaching bloodlust-filled challenger.

Lucas doesn’t even remotely hold back his laughter this time around, inciting the addict’s anger once more.

‘So, he does have an idea? Go bother 011 for me. Kay thanks bye.’

[…]

Lucas falls back into a similar kiting path as last time, with the primary difference being that during one pass, while he’s within conversational distance with Miss Masher, he addresses her in a low voice.

“Hey, uh, I gotta admit somethin’. So, ya realized I’ve got… more goin’ on that usual, yeah? Uh, not to hurt yer feelings, but I was holdin’ back when we arm-wrestled. Be careful with this guy, ya might not hurt him as much as ya expect.” While Lucas is making his semi-guilty admission, Miss Masher’s eyes don’t leave the crawling contender, but her body language makes it clear that she is listening to what he’s saying.

While Lucas was speaking, he heard Miss Chievous make a disappointed snort due to something Jonathan said outside, but he couldn’t hear any more of their interaction beyond that.

By the time he finished talking, Miss Masher’s brows are knit together, and once he’s done, she sighs.

“…Okay, yeah. Thanks for the heads up. Findin’ out the hard way… could have sucked. …I’m still a little pissed, though.” Miss Masher equally lowered her voice while answering, and she’s gritting her teeth by the end while also clenching her fists. But, she is now watching their opponent a bit more warily, and intentionally increases the distance between them a little further.

[Er, you definitely gave more information than was truly necessary there. But, warning her was probably a good idea. She would find out eventually, one way or another, but this way certainly helps reduce the chances of her getting injured in the process.]

‘I’m just that nice of a guy. So, what’d kiddo have to say?’

[How can you be so..? Ahem, I updated 011 on the last few events prior to the rollback, as they were occupied and had not witnessed it themselves. That being said, apart from wanting to gather samples for Miss Calculated to better understand just what in the world put this man into this state, Jonathan thinks he could try holding the target’s attention while you approach him from behind, hopefully managing to restrict his movements before he fully reacts to the surprise attack. However, he could use a little time to rest first, so he can be better prepared to use his powers to evade if necessary. A few minutes should hopefully suffice.]

‘A’ight, sounds good. …What was he busy with?’

While Lucas casually maintains his mental conversation with 427, he’s keeping up his kiting, occasionally kicking bits of wreckage from the offender’s previous destructive antics at his face to antagonize him further.

It’s super effective.

[Apparently Miss Chievous, and also himself during the last timeline, received some minor injuries. Unfortunately, he previously had to visit several different stores to find medical supplies he considered satisfactory. Since he now knows which locations have what in stock, 011 can help him optimize his route to save some time, and thusly help conserve his energy.]

‘Ah? How’d they get hurt? Did that guy hit them with some flyin’ rocks or something when he went crashin’ over?’

[No, there is just a great deal of broken glass in that area from all the ruined windows, and Miss Chievous had accidentally been scraped by some of it while dodging his attack. While normally it is safe to say that Jonathan’s OCD makes him excessively paranoid over contaminants, I can’t blame him for being concerned over the high risk of infection in this particular instance. Perhaps the reasoning behind this specific timestamp for the rollback was to help him avoid his injury, and therefore any potential infection.]

‘…But that doesn’t do Maria any good.’

[No, it does not. But, while she has the potential to one day join the Superhero Enhancement System, she hasn’t yet. It’s not much of a stretch of the imagination to think Boss System simply decided ‘not my problem’.]

‘…Fuck. Yeah, let kiddo take all the time he needs to help treat her. I’m sure this asshat will happily chase me all day. Oh, or should he call Marsha over to help?’

[I don’t think she could handle the blow to her pride right now. Besides, the parts she could help with is when he would be resting his powers, anyway.]

‘Oh, right, fair…’

From the edge of his peripheral vision, Lucas can see Jonathan suddenly appear outside the windows after being MIA for a little while. As he’s crouching down, going out of Lucas’s sight once more, Miss Chievous makes an impressed whistle. Shortly after, there are some inaudible bits of conversation, and then Miss Chievous’s laughter can be heard.

The addled addict momentarily pauses his pursuit of Lucas upon noticing the whistle, looking in the direction of the source of the sound, but was too slow to catch the brief window of time where Jonathan was visible.

‘…Guess she’s not in all that bad of shape, yeah?’

[If you don’t account for who-knows-what bacteria that is most likely present on the sidewalk gravel that was rubbed into her wounds, it is a rather minor injury. With how much fun she seems to have while antagonizing Jonathan, I have a feeling she thinks the cuts were worth it, just to make him fret.]

‘Heh, probably. Ya know, this guy seems pretty responsive to loud noises, yeah? Ya think he might not have even understood what Jon was yellin’ at him before, and it was just the noise itself, and maybe his tone?’

[Quite possibly. His garbled… whatever you want to call his shouting, doesn’t even seem like a child attempting to replicate words it’s hearing. Were he still able to comprehend what’s being said, his own, er, communications should at least vaguely resemble a common language. Honestly, it’s probably safe for you to openly chat with one another while trying to orchestrate taking him down, right in front of him.]

‘Huh. Yeah, I was kinda gettin’ that feelin’.’

—–

Lucas’s total kills: 8

Lucas’s total deaths: 12

Lucas’s total assists: 1

Lucas’s current GDV: 17.43 [Recalculating…]

Lucas’s fame level: 6.0* (Local fame is completely maxed, he’s creeping up on minor celebrity status even on a global scale. Thanks, internet.)

Lucas’s hero suspicion level: 2.0*

Jonathan’s total kills: 7

Jonathan’s total deaths: 4

Jonathan’s current GDV: 6.10 [Recalculating…]

Jonathan’s fame level: 4.0* (Local fame is near-max, but everyone thinks of him via his affiliation with Lucas, and not often just for him, alone.)

Jonathan’s hero suspicion level: 2.5*

Willy’s fame level: 5.0* (Another round of the latest memes featuring him and Mr. Quacks has bloomed.)

Mr. Quacks’s fame level: 5.5* (Another round of the latest memes featuring him and Willy has bloomed.)

Supervillain social circle size: 15

—–

Little character theater:

Jonathan, flustered after Miss Chievous just handed him several of the products he just purchased on her behalf, and then made a crack about how much he apparently likes holding things: Oh come on! I s-said I was sorry!

Willy is in big stretchy yawnums mode once more.

Lucas, glancing over at a refrigerated drink case behind one of the already smashed-in counters that Miss Masher is currently debating using as a weapon: Hey, toss me a drink, would ya? No, no, yeah one of those!

427, openly sighing before speaking up: [Even if she technically was the one that stole it, it still counted against your GDV.]

Author, absentmindedly kicking at the medically zombified man as he crawls past them: Don’t worry, we’ll put you out of your misery soon enough.

Mr. Quacks and Quackette are blatantly having a cake-eating competition without any concerns for the events transpiring around them: Quack!