I’d Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please - Chapter 214

It takes Miss Chievous a little while longer to compose herself, but once she does, she walks over to join Miss Masher in burning Lucas’s money. Even though she declared that Miss Calculated needs at least five drinks to get any work tonight, two of them suspiciously end up with more sugar and dairy in them than actual coffee.

By the time Jonathan has rejoined the cafe crew, Lucas was already on the phone with Heat-Wave. He has a big smile at first, but as the excessive gratitudes drag on his expression slowly sinks.

Seeing his foster father otherwise occupied, Jonathan quickly notices the baked goods boxing in progress, as well as the two sisters ordering an inordinate amount of caffeinated beverages while the poor bot lines up the cups and marks them accordingly.

He walks over to join them, and once they’ve finally finished their 10th beverage request, he chimes in.

“A-and a large quad-shot mocha with, um, e-extra chocolate sauce.” Before Jonathan is even finished saying this, Miss Chievous turns to stare at his scrawny side profile.

“Are you trying to unlock some sort of super-speed vibrate function!? Don’t give him anything more than a double!” When Miss Chievous announces the caffeine cutoff locus, Jonathan clicks his tongue with a brief sneer.

The bot takes one good look at Jonathan, then at Miss Chievous, and then writes 2x on the cup.

As Jonathan turns to look at Lucas to potentially protest the espresso embargo, he sees that Lucas is holding a hand over his eyes and forehead with a slight frown, having trouble getting a word in edgewise on the phone.

Wisely, Jonathan stays quiet.

Over by the remnants of the front door, a long flexible four-pronged arm is holding it open while Miss Calculated walks through. As she makes her way inside, she’s actively looking around the area with a raised eyebrow.

A few paces behind her, 23 follows while gently cradling Willy in two of its arms. Its fourth arm is occupied with the cardboard box full of the miscellaneous items Miss Calculated has managed to accumulate over the past few hours.

Not that Lucas notices.

‘Holy shit. I’m not surprised that he’s doing some brown-nosing, but this is a bit much?’

[I’m assuming he’s aware of your… recently developed celebrity status. Some of his gushing has been beyond just gratitude over preventing further damage to this establishment, for sure. Though, yes, a lot of it is probably just him trying to curry favor before discussing any sort of recompense.]

‘Dude… Oh, didya finish your math homework, yet?’

[…Yes. You could comfortably loan more than he’d probably comfortably borrow. Making too high of an offer might seem like you’re trying to insist on excess, lest you make it necessary to borrow the offered amount… That being said, I’m going to estimate that the ground floor window replacement will be in the range of 20-25 thousand dollars, so adding a bit extra to help out, but not completely cover everything in total, would advisably be around 30 thousand dollars.]

‘Oh, damn. For just being some windows, that’s a lot… But, yeah, that’s nothin’ compared to what we’ve been throwin’ around.’

[…Indeed. The question is just how altruistic you plan on being. Short of extorting him, you’re likely to earn some amount of GDV for financially aiding him. So, do you want to maximize your GDV gains, but risk being suspicious, or go for the extra profits off of the interest?]

‘Uhh… In the middle? Don’t make it crazy low, but still an actual decent deal?’

[Very well. In that case, I’d say 10% compounded interest, weekly.]

Lucas chokes, but thankfully his call participant doesn’t notice. His in-person companions give him a few odd looks, but only Jonathan suspects anything beyond the contents of the call eliciting his random reaction.

‘That’s a GOOD deal!?’

[…Yes. Quite. Anything lower would start being potentially suspicious.]

Lucas rubs his face with the hand he was holding his forehead with, barely holding back a groan.

‘Fuck this world. Goddamn, good thing Boss System is at least paying as much as it is.’

[…You’ll be complaining about how little it is once the organization is in full swing.]

‘Fuck. Yeah, we need to actually figure out some income, don’t we?’

[That would be advisable. You don’t want to seem like an endless font of money while having no apparent source for it all. A good initial goal to aim for would be making the company self-sufficient after enough initial investments. In the meantime, Alley Cat’s influences should help serve as a cover for your financial successes. But, that will only last for so long.]

Lucas lets out a sigh and starts pacing.

Between his mental conversation and the droning in his ear, Lucas has largely tuned out his physical surroundings.

Miss Calculated had walked over to join Miss Chievous and Miss Masher, and they’re now exchanging their versions of recent events.

Meanwhile, Jonathan is crouching down off to the side, petting Willy in a safely glass-shard-free portion of the cafe.

23 went straight to the service kiosk to begin beeping with the two working bots, its attention settling on the barista bot in short order. Before long, 23 has walked around the ruined counter and even started helping it make drinks, all while maintaining their high-speed, high-frequency conversation.

Lucas combs his fingers through his hair and loudly clears his throat. He manages to get the attention of far more people than just the one he’s on the phone with. But, of course, he doesn’t notice.

“Yes. Look, I’m glad you’re so appreciative, but I do have some business to attend to. Yes. No. No, no-no. Yeah. No, it’s fine. Yeah. So, I figure- Yeah. Exactly. I was thinkin’- What? No. Yeah, don’t worry. We’re good. So… Uh-huh. That’s what I was thinkin’. I mean, I’m sure ya can handle at least some of it. Yeah. Like 30 thous- …Good. Hmm? Nah. Really. Just 10. Ah, er… Thank you. Now that you mention it…” With a rollercoaster ride of facial microexpressions, Lucas eventually stops pacing, switching to staring at the floor with a vacant look while he manages some form of communication through the phone.

Miss Calculated is watching him with an amused look. She was curious at first, but partway through she seemed to have pieced together what was going on, given her facial shifts.

Similarly, 23 had been paying a decent amount of attention to Lucas’s limited share of the conversation. Once it sets a tall caffe latte con panna with two pumps of caramel down directly in front of Miss Chievous, it walks around the counter again to approach Lucas.

And now, back to Lucas.

“So, how about- Nah. Nothin’ big. Just, how about ya let me keep a rollin’ tab… Yeah, when settling the payment we can… Perfect. As I was gonna say though, let anyone that’s at least allied with The Brotherhood- Exactly.” While Lucas is saying this, he finally turns his attention upward, noticing the three sisters plus the oncoming robot that are all looking at him.

“Lucas.” 23 doesn’t bother saying anything further, aware of the voice that is chattering through the phone. The barista bot it was just chatting with sharply rotates its head around to stare at it the moment it addressed Lucas by name.

Lucas simply holds one finger up at 23 while nodding slightly.

“Yeah, hey. Gimme a sec. Yeah. Hold on.” Lucas pulls the phone away from his ear, sighing softly and rolling his eyes, earning a few snickers from the observing twins.

“They have more service bots than is necessary to sufficiently clean the area before any contractors would possibly come by to make their estimates regarding the cost of materials and repairs. Might I suggest borrowing a few, until they are needed in the shop once more? Mind Flare will only have a limited number of spare units available during business hours over the next few days, the extra help would be useful.” While 23 is speaking to Lucas, the other bot continued staring at it until it finished speaking, then immediately turned its attention towards Lucas.

Contrary to anything the bot could have anticipated, Lucas’s face lights up and he snaps his fingers at 23, transitioning the gesture into a finger gun aimed at it.

“YES! Perfect, good thinkin’ 23.” While Lucas is saying this, he brings his phone back to his ear.

“Did you catch that? Yeah. Huh? Yeah, it’s my assistant. Totally. It’s pretty badass. Yeah. So- sure, that’s fine. Yeah, I get it. No, really, it’s okay. Hey, 23? Go ahead an’ pick out two of ‘em.” Once Lucas gives this instruction, 23 nods and walks back over to rejoin the barista bot in mixing drinks.

If only Lucas could just walk away, too.

“Hmm? Yeah. Hmm? Eh, I’d just choose at random anyway, saves me the effort. Yep. So- Oh, nah. That’s not necessary. Tomorrow? Yeah. Nah. I figure the MCAC. Hmm? Yeah. Make it all official-like. Yeah. Nah, I got an in with Calc. Oh, don’t worry. Yeah, nah, I’ll cover it. Yeah. Really. Hey so- Yeah, but- Yes. Perfect. Okay. Catch you later. Yeah. Thanks. You too. Okay. Bye.” Once Lucas finally hangs up the phone, he holds it up for a moment, staring at it, then takes a deep breath.

“GAH! What the fuck!?” Lucas’s misery is met with a mix of laughter.

—–

Lucas’s total kills: 9

Lucas’s total deaths: 12

Lucas’s total assists: 1

Lucas’s current GDV: 19.85 [.01 .01 .01 .01 .01 .01 .1 .1 .01 .1 .01 .1 .01 .01 .01 .01 .01 .1 = .63 net change. Yes, that’s all from the phone call. (+observers)]

Lucas’s fame level: 7.0* [The VoDs of the stream are starting to circulate, just not enough to move the needle, yet.]

Lucas’s hero suspicion level: 1.0*

Jonathan’s total kills: 8

Jonathan’s total deaths: 4

Jonathan’s current GDV: 8.10

Jonathan’s fame level: 5.5*

Jonathan’s hero suspicion level: 1.5*

Willy’s fame level: 5.5*

Mr. Quacks’s fame level: 6.0*

Supervillain social circle size: 16

—–

Little character theater:

Jonathan, still sulking over being denied the gratuitous amount of caffeine: Hmph, y-you would have let me get it, r-right, Willy?

Willy, who would have totally barked twice if he heard Jonathan make his order: Bark..?

Lucas, still staring at his phone: That was somehow worse than any call I had with my mom while I was away for college! I didn’t think that was even physically possible!?

427, putting far more serious thought into Lucas’s comment than he did: [Why do I get the impression that if you called her regularly, the individual calls wouldn’t have been all that bad?]

Author, sipping their own drink: Jon would totally try to drink 100 cups of coffee in one day, if given the chance.

Mr. Quacks is secretly adding an extra pump of chocolate sauce to Jonathan’s drink while Quackette holds the cup in place: Quack!