If I Can’t Be Your Wife - Chapter 104

“Mom, which one is prettier?”

 

As soon as morning dawned, Luci ran over and held out two pieces of paper with a cute smile on his face.

 

‘When did you learn to draw like this?’

 

She was tired from having had nightmares all night, but seeing her child made her feel proud.

 

“Yes, what did our Luci draw?”

 

Kathleen smiled and took the paper, then paused. It seemed like he had drawn something with great care using colorful colored pencils, but she could not identify what they were.

 

“Yes? Which is prettier?”

 

Luci pestered her with a face full of anticipation. Kathleen, determined not to disappoint her child, chose one after much consideration.

 

“Mom thinks this one.”

 

“Why?”

 

“What?”

 

“Why is this prettier?”

 

Luci has been obsessed with ‘why’ lately. A cold sweat broke out as she looked at her son who wanted to know the reason without letting it pass this time as well. She had to give a reasonable basis for her choice, but no matter how much she looked, she had nothing to say. Of course she couldn’t tell him that, so Kathleen eventually came up with a compromise.

 

“Yes, actually, both are pretty.”

 

“You said earlier that this was prettier. You have to pick just one.”

 

“But Mom likes all of Luci’s drawings?”

 

“Ugh.”

 

Unlike usual, Luci let out an annoyed sigh. Kathleen was shocked again. At that, Luci opened up the paper with a serious face and started explaining.

 

“These are pink and red flowers. And these are white and yellow flowers.”

 

“Oh, flowers.”

 

“Which one is prettier? Just one.”

 

“Then mom will say the white and yellow. I like that it looks neat and modest.”

 

Luci didn’t seem to understand what the word modest meant, but he looked satisfied that Kathleen had picked one.

 

“I see!”

 

“Where are you going? What about breakfast?”

 

As soon as Luci heard his mother’s answer, he ran away. She called him back, but the child had already disappeared.

 

“What are you so busy with?”

 

He liked Carmine a lot which was different from Meyer, so he spent more time outside the castle than inside. At first, Kathleen also went to play with her child, but her four-year-old son preferred to play with her uncle. So these days, she lets them be together. Most of the time they would join her until breakfast, but even that didn’t happen today.

 

Feeling somewhat lonely, Kathleen ate breakfast alone.

 

“Madam, here is a letter from the Master.”

 

Luci’s nanny, who had arrived in Carmine a week ago, brought her the letter.

 

“Someone from Meyer came and delivered it this morning.”

 

“Really?”

 

The wedding was in three days anyway, so they were going to leave tomorrow morning, but why did he have to send another letter?

 

She was puzzled, but opened the envelope and read the contents at once. After writing a line of greetings, Alexis wrote in a very discontented tone.

 

[When you arrive at Meyer, you will be staying in the annex separately. When your uncle came to Meyer not long ago to attend the conferment ceremony, he told me that custom is custom and to not share a bedroom with you until the wedding is over.]

 

The wedding preparations were proceeding smoothly, so he assured her not to worry, and once again emphasized that it was not his will to prepare a separate bedroom in the annex.

 

‘Either way.’

 

Kathleen shook her head and put the letter back into the envelope. Apparently, her uncle’s feelings for Alexis have not improved yet.

 

‘But it’ll get better with time, right?’

 

Luci looks just like his dad, but he likes him, so there was a possibility. Kathleen thought  that they should take this wedding as an opportunity to score Alexis some good points.

 

“Did Luci have breakfast? He seems to have gone out again.”

 

“Yes. The young master woke up at dawn and had already eaten breakfast.”

 

“Really? Could he not sleep all night? Luci is not the type to wake up so early.”

 

“No. The young master slept very well and woke up. Perhaps he thought he had to spend more time here since you’d soon go back to Meyer?”

 

“Is that so?”

 

Kathleen asked and tilted her head.

 

“But why did Nanny come to Carmine all of a sudden? Come to think of it, I don’t think I asked for you.”

 

“Oh. I thought I should get used to the place, so I said that I would come first.”

 

“Hmm? Get used to it?”

 

“The young master is Prince Walten, but he is also the grandnephew of Count Usmund. He’ll be going to Carmine often so I thought it would be better to know this place to accompany him.”

 

“That’s right.”

 

Kathleen agreed as well. They don’t know if Luci had inherited Usmund’s abilities as he was still young, but it would be nice to get closer to her family, her uncle and the Winter Fairies.

 

“Then I’ll leave now.”

 

The nanny bowed to her and hurriedly left the dining hall. Kathleen looked at her back and felt something strange, but she didn’t know exactly what it was.

 

‘Maybe it’s because my mind is a mess right now.’

 

Kathleen, who went back to her room and came out wearing her shawl, thought as she walked around the castle.

 

She had already been through a wedding, which she had held once, but the thought that she would do it again made her nervous. Even more so because it was an experience that remained as a bad memory.

 

A bitter smile formed on her lips. Kathleen sat in a chair in the corner of the garden, contemplating her memories of her old days.

 

The night before her wedding, she was given an incredibly gorgeous and extravagant wedding dress and large pieces of jewelry.

 

She had no one by her side. Sitting alone amidst the glittering treasures, fear and vigilance outweighed the excitement and expectations of the shabby kitchen maid who was preparing to become the bride.

 

And the next morning.

 

The empty seats in the section of the bride’s side, with her indifferent husband, who didn’t even pay attention to her even when he recited his vows in front of the high priest.

 

The man who held her hand but left immediately after the ceremony was over, leaving her to host the reception alone as a duchess.

 

Though she did not love Alexis at the time, it still lingered as a sad memory.

 

‘It will be different this time.’

 

Alexis Walten was no longer an indifferent husband, she had a cute son and a trusted friend and family, Peter.

 

Kathleen stood up and tried to erase her negative memories. She decided to go for a little walk and then go back to her room to check the last luggage she had packed.

 

“……This way.”

 

“Like this?”

 

“Yes. Like that…….”

 

She could hear a few words from the depths of the garden. It was the nanny and Luci.

 

‘Didn’t you go out to play with uncle?’

 

She was speechless at Luci’s stamina, who could run around all day. Curious about what he was doing, she moved towards him. She found Luci’s back, just seen through the bushes, and was about to approach, when she heard the nanny’s request.

 

“Young master, you can never tell the Madam, okay?”

 

“Yes! Because I promised dad.”

 

“Yes, if Young Master keeps the secret, then Madam will be happy too.”

 

“If mom is happy, I’m happy too.”

 

Luci clenched his little fist and firmed his will, then jumped to his feet.

 

“I want to practice again!”

 

“Good. I’ll help you!”

 

Secret? Practice?

 

She wondered what he was hiding, but now that she heard about it, she didn’t think she should get caught.

 

Kathleen hurriedly lowered her body, hid, and looked carefully through the bushes.

 

Luci put the little basket in his arms and walked along the path marked on the ground. Then carefully sprinkled the grass from the basket.

 

‘That’s……!’

 

Kathleen then realized what the boy was practicing.

 

“Well done, Young Master. In the flower garden, you can sprinkle flowers along the path like this. Your mother will be very pleased!”

 

It was for the same reason that the nanny suddenly came here and the reason Luci abruptly asked her to pick flowers in the morning. Perhaps this was what Alexis was planning.

 

The bad memories of her first wedding were left in her subconscious, and she had a nightmare that her second wedding would be ruined, but it seems that it will never happen again.

 

With a soft smile, Kathleen walked back quietly and returned to the castle.

 

Luci was nowhere to be seen the whole day and only showed up when it was time for dinner. He told her that he had been playing even though she didn’t ask first. Kathleen pretended not to know and responded to her child.

 

Excited about their return to Meyer, Luci went to bed early.

 

“Then see you tomorrow, Luci.”

 

“Yes. Good night mom.”

 

After laying her child on the bed and kissing him on the cheek, Kathleen left her child’s bedroom with a warm heart.

 

“Kathleen.”

 

“Uncle.”

 

Her uncle, Cassiel, whom she had not seen since he returned from leaving for Meyer alone for the conferment of title, was waiting in front of her bedroom.

 

“Tomorrow, you will be leaving for Meyer. It’s farewell once more…… I came here because I couldn’t sleep at all.”

 

“Uncle is also going with us. What do you mean farewell? You can stay as long as you want in the Grand Duke’s mansion.”

 

“It is farewell.”

 

He said sadly as he took Kathleen’s hands.

 

“Anyway, you have a family. I wanted to do more of what I couldn’t for Juliana. It’s just a shame.”

 

“Uncle is also my family. Until the end.”

 

Kathleen clasped his hand, she replied warmly.

 

“And Uncle has already given me a lot. I’m just grateful. Uncle is like my father.”

 

“……Thank you for saying that.”

 

Cassiel’s eyes became red in an instant, and he said in a hoarse voice.

 

“I have held you here because of my greed. But this is the last time. I promise I will not drive out Grand Duke Walten anymore.”

 

“No. I was really happy to spend time with Uncle.”

 

She was sincere. To the extent that she truly wished her uncle was her father.

 

“Are you going to come to Meyer often? Luci will look forward to meeting his grandfather too. You must be busy now that you are a count.”

 

“Yes. Of course.”

 

As she held him in a warm embrace, Kathleen already felt like she had it all.

She was able to sleep very comfortably the night before leaving for Meyer. No nightmares, no tossing and turning.