If I Can’t Be Your Wife - Chapter 59

It was definitely like that at first. He was only interested in him because he was Kathleen’s child and he looked so much like her. However, he eventually kept noticing him. Somehow, he felt familiar. Like the first time he saw him.

Alexis headed to the garden. He felt his anxiety subside a little as he held the small, soft creature with warmth.

“Achoo!”

Luci sneezed and dug into his arms.

“Oh. Is it cold?”

Since he had just been lying in bed, he did not have a coat on. It wasn’t winter yet, but the sun had set and the wind was chilly.

“Should we just go in?”

“Uuung.”

He was less than a year old, but strangely, the child shook his head as if he understood him. Seeing his little hand’s tight grip on his collar, he was clearly refusing. A smirk formed on his mouth.

“Then let’s go to the greenhouse.”

He wasn’t interested in flowers so he never really cared about it, but he did decorate it in his own way. In the budget report he received at the beginning of the month, he remembered that some plants from tropical regions were also brought in.

When he opened the door of the large domed greenhouse made of transparent glass, the magic stone embedded in the wall shined softly.

“Isn’t it warm here?”

Alexis asked, turning Luci around and carrying him facing forward so he could look at the surroundings. The child looked around curiously, then shouted as he pointed at the fountain. His curiosity seemed to have awakened, seeing him waving his short legs and babbling quickly. Alexis took the child there.

“Do you want to play in the water?”

Warm water was gushing out of the small fountain in the center. Luci tried to catch the stream with an animated voice. Alexis awkwardly brought the boy closer as he wished. He didn’t know how he should hold him to let him play without falling into the water.

He couldn’t even walk well, let alone run, yet the boy smiled happily every time the warm water drenched his feet. The pure smile given at no cost left him heartbroken.

He had never seen her smile like this, so he couldn’t imagine it. He thought it was fortunate to be able to see it through her child.

“Daddy!” [Appa]

Luci shouted with a clearer pronunciation and touched Alexis’ face with his water-soaked hands. His small, chubby hands were warm. Alexis unconsciously grabbed his hand and rubbed it against his cheek.

“Where did you learn that word? Your mother wouldn’t have taught you.”

“Aam?”

“Did Emily teach you? Or.”

The words stopped abruptly. How st*pid. If it wasn’t Kathleen who taught the words to the child, the answer was obvious.

In Osole, Luci had parents. He was a smart and strong kid, so he must have heard and learned it from back then. So, this child must have learned the word ‘daddy’ from him…

“Just forget that b*st*rd.”

Unbearable emotions boiled over as Alexis mumbled madly.

“Your father is me. Say it’s me. You don’t even look like him anyway.”

It could really happen. That priest might not be able to find Kathleen any more. So you will be my child from now on, no, live as if you were my child from the beginning.

Then, all of a sudden, Alexis realized.

“No. You cannot be my child.”

If he really becomes his son, then Kathleen would one day leave. Perhaps she would even leave right now. It would be easy to throw away the child of the man she despised. She’d grow more tired of the child if he resembled him.

“…You have to be that b*st*rd’s child.”

Alexis stroked the boy’s head bitterly. His heart swelled up perhaps thanks to the warmth of the greenhouse; however, one side of it felt empty, as if cold wind had rushed in.

“If you’re his son, Kathleen will never leave you.”

He forcibly erased the imagination of what it would be like if this child looked half like him and Kathleen. Alexis thought it was fortunate. It was easy to give up because it was something that was never given to him from the very start.

“So I have to keep you with me.”

Hostage or prisoner, whatever you call it.

He stubbornly dismissed his feelings for the child as that. If he could, he wanted to share half of his blood with the child and say that he was his own, however, that was just a possessive desire.

Alexis seemed to only be able to accept the feelings he felt for the child as that and nothing else. He wanted to break down the pillars of the Delafos Temple and go up north to catch all the priests and kill them.

Why did a man other than him embrace Kathleen? He wanted to grab the d*mn god’s collar and throw him on the altar and ask why the child who was born from her womb not his?

“Daddy.”

When the endless delusion reached its peak, the child burrowed into his arms. As soon as the small hand grabbed him, the anger that had been building up disappeared like a bubble.

‘Yes. I have to raise this child.’

He would make him his child in the future. Anyway, now that he and Kathleen were staying with him, there would be no escape.

The child’s mumbling sounded sleepy. Having regained his composure, Alexis hugged the child tightly and stroked the round back of his head.

Without knowing that a complicated gaze looking down through the folded curtains of a third-floor bedroom was directed at him and the child.

***

The Crown Prince’s coming-of-age ceremony will be in a week.

At the court meeting, they decided to increase the size of the celebration by combining his birthday and the ceremony. Accordingly, the banquet was decided to be similar to the time when the current emperor ascended the throne.

“You won’t throw it away, Madame?”

As Kathleen placed the invitation down, Emily asked anxiously.

“Here, you got another invitation under the name of the Crown Prince.”

“Yes. I will go.”

When she opened the envelope Emily gave her, it was the same invitation. For the longest time, she had not forgotten Peter’s birthday, but she had forgotten about it this year. She felt bad.

Kathleen left the invitation with Peter’s name on it. Although she avoided all social events, she could not possibly miss Peter’s event. Moreover, the nineteenth birthday was of great significance to Trivellian.

“Since His Majesty the Emperor became ill, His Highness has not held a birthday banquet, but this time, he has to hold a coming-of-age ceremony, so it can’t be postponed. It will be very glamorous.”

Emily threw a hot topic with a gaze conveying that she wanted to invite a tailor and a jeweler right away.

“Master will also attend.”

Kathleen nodded her head slowly. If he was simply attending as a nobleman, she did not need to accompany him and it wouldn’t have mattered. However the Walten family was part of the imperial family. They had to go together this time.

“Should I ask Master first? We have to send a reply to the imperial family, and the master needs to match the lady’s outfit, so we should hurry up and tell Viscount Rylent……”

Before Emily could finish speaking, they heard a knock on the door. The door swung open and Alexis entered.

“Let’s go out together. We need to get ready for the imperial banquet.”

With a strange feeling, Kathleen replied to the sudden request.

“We already have the robes made by the tailors of the Walten family.”

“Trends always change.”

He had already changed into outdoor clothes. He nodded at Emily

“Help my wife get ready.”

“Yes, Master.”

Emily’s face brightened and she quickly got up from her seat. She was worried because the Walten hostess was returning from a three-year hiatus and had yet to buy new clothes and jewelry.

If she were to go to the imperial banquet where important social figures would gather, she could be buried in gossip. Kathleen didn’t care about it but Emily was anxious deep inside. She was surprised and felt fortunate that the master, who had been indifferent to things like this all his life, cared for the very first time.

While Alexis waited sitting on a chair in the drawing room, Emily helped Kathleen change into an outdoor dress and hurriedly pushed her after they were done.

“Go quickly, Madame!”

“Alright. Please take good care of me, Lucy.”

Kathleen left the beaming Emily behind and took Alexis’ outstretched hand and left the main building.

She wasn’t really impressed with the sudden outing. There was no problem buying ready-made accessories and wearing them, but the outfit was different. Even if they started making it now, it would be unreasonable to make a new dress within a week.

‘There’s no way you’d know that.’

Asking to go out was probably just an excuse to go out together.

Thinking that she should match his tune, Kathleen climbed into the carriage.

Whether he had spoken to the coachman in advance or not, the carriage outside the duke’s residence began to move. And after a while, they arrived on a street lined with shops frequented by nobility.

As soon as she alternately looked out of the window and him, the carriage stopped. Alexis held out his hand.

“Let’s get off here.”

“Where are we going?”

“To get dressed.”

There was not even the slightest hesitation in the short answer that came back. Kathleen thought of saying that it was useless, but she paused and just took his hand.

When she got off the carriage, all the staff, including the tailors in the dressing room, were waiting for her.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Madame. The preparations are already in place.”

“Madame Mettelin. I haven’t met you since you last contacted me. But you’re saying you are ready?”

“Of course, for your fitting. I was worried because the Duke hadn’t informed us of the date of your visit, but you came just in time.”

The dressing room staff kindly ushered them inside. Kathleen couldn’t believe it, even as she involuntarily followed them.

‘How did you know this place? Besides, the dress is ready for fitting?’

Madame Mettelin was famous for creating dresses with an old-fashioned and elegant concept. Many noble families offered to hire her as their full-time tailor, but she was rumored to have turned down all of them because of her ego. To be able to make a reservation with such a person, anyone who heard it would say that the Duke of Walten was crazy.

Dazed, Kathleen went beyond the curtains and saw a dress on a mannequin.

The pearlescent silk dress was richly adorned with a light blue lace the same color as her eyes. The robe was decorated from the shoulders with small pearls and golden shells that shimmered, and the waist was tied at an angle with a red cloth symbolizing the duke family.

No matter how long she stared at it, she couldn’t believe it was her own dress, even though it was clearly made for the hostess of the duke family. He must have brought her here to confuse her, she convinced herself like that and tried the dress on in doubt.

“It looks really good on you, Madame, and your size is just right.”

Only when Madame Mettelin smiled contentedly and straightened the red laces did Kathleen accept it.

Alexis Walten had indeed ordered a dress for her.