If I Can’t Be Your Wife - Chapter 84

She couldn’t respond to his earnest words. She couldn’t push away the person who helped her at the risk of death just because she was uncomfortable.

‘As long as it’s only as a friend.’

As long as he was satisfied with their current relationship, she didn’t want to be separated from him either.

Kathleen nodded reluctantly. In the midst of the silence, Joseph got up and brought the dessert that had been placed by the window. It was custard pudding.

“Eat it. I made it.”

“Did you make this yourself?”

It was a difficult dessert for a novice cook, but it was surprising. She tasted a spoonful and it was pretty good.

“Looking over what Kelly was making, I started memorizing the recipe. I thought of other desserts, but it’s not easy to get all the ingredients here. How does it taste?”

“It’s delicious. I have nothing more to teach you.”

“I’m glad. Now that Kelly has recognized me, I won’t be bullied anywhere.”

The awkward atmosphere disappeared at Joseph’s witty remarks, and they became comfortable friends again. The sun went down as they talked.

“Since I’ve been served dinner, I will wash the dishes.”

“No. I’ll do it. Just sit there.”

Joseph kept Kathleen from moving her hands until the very end. Kathleen insisted several times, but she was pushed away when he vehemently refused and took over the sink.

She sat down at the table while Joseph washed the dishes and shared what she was going to do tomorrow.

“Uncle said that my mother’s room is still there. He said he didn’t even put away a single vase. I’m going to spend some time there tomorrow.”

“Good. They said that Miss Juliana had the ability to handle ice like Kelly, so she may have left a record of that.”

“That’s possible. I’ll have to look for it.”

As they continued the conversation, Kathleen noticed something twinkling by the open window.

‘What is that?’

Do fireflies live in such a cold and high-altitude area?

She got up and went to the window, but Joseph came to her after washing the dishes.

“It’s done. Let’s go. I will take you home.”

“Oh, yes.”

The twinkling light by the window was then covered by him, revealed again, then disappeared.

“What’s wrong?”

“I thought I saw a firefly by the window.”

“A firefly?”

Joseph approached the window with a puzzled face, stuck his head out and looked, then closed the window and came back.

“There are no fireflies. Actually, since Carmine is cold, there wouldn’t really be insects.”

“Well, yes. I must have been mistaken.”

Seriously, why would a firefly suddenly stick to the window? No matter how dark it was outside, a single little firefly couldn’t have been that big and bright.

“You must have been tired after going to the valley with your uncle. I’ll take you there, so let’s go.”

Joseph hurried, saying that Cassiel would scold him if they were late. When Kathleen heard that, she suddenly felt tired, then finally left the house with him. Joseph, who was closing the door, said as if he suddenly remembered.

“I’m going to lock the door. Because you never know.”

“Okay.”

Joseph took advantage of Kathleen turning away to look into the sack lying under the window. Light was leaking from the magic stone contained inside. Joseph looked down into the sack and his face darkened.

He had not gone outside the Carmine Mountains for a long time, and the guards seemed to have brought what they had to the Northern Territory. There was no way they would find out that she was here.

“Joseph, are you all done locking up?”

“Yes, let’s go!”

Joseph raised his voice and answered, tying the straps of the sack and throwing it through the window into the house.

‘It’s too late. It’s useless now.’

Kathleen is safe. She will be able to live while being protected by her family and healing her broken heart. Wasn’t that what she wanted in the first place?

So he didn’t need to scratch on her wounds. If she knew, she would only suffer.

Joseph struggled as he thought so and turned to Kathleen.

***

“…… Thus, the Winston title is revoked and Isabella Winston will be executed.”

Count Turan announced the conclusion of the agenda that marked the end of the court meeting. Despite being the last agenda item, the conclusion was easy. It was because the nobles all agreed with the emperor and the grand duke.

“This concludes today’s meeting.”

When Peter finished speaking, Alexis stood up first. It was against etiquette to leave before the emperor, but no one pointed out his actions.

As Peter followed him out of the conference room, he heard a murmur through the door that had not yet been closed.

“I’m glad he attended this meeting. It is also fortunate that he did not close the doors to the Grand Duchy like last time.”

“Back then I really thought there was going to be a civil war.”

“You don’t know. If the Empress Dowager’s punishment ends only in imprisonment…….”

“Hold your tongue. His Majesty is still nearby, what are you going to do if he hears you?”

There were still many people talking about the emperor and the grand duke. It seemed like they were hoping for a battle to happen.

Peter let out a long sigh. Alexis knew this situation better than anyone else, so he regularly went to the imperial palace. Even though he knew that suspicious eyes would pour on him.

‘…… I don’t think you’re fine.’

Kathleen has been gone for nearly half a year. The expedition team sent to the Carmine Mountains returned without results. Not only her body, but neither a shoe, nor a torn cloak was found.

Alexis was silent when she told him about it. In the end she left him completely, as if she didn’t want to leave anything behind in Walten. It took Alexis a very long time to accept that fact.

When the grand duke’s butler sent a messenger to the Imperial Palace to inform him that he was not speaking or eating again, Peter could not bear it and headed to the Grand Duke’s residence. She even threatened to take Luci with her if he continued to do so.

– If you can’t take care of your own body properly, what kind of father are you going to be?

Her half-brother barely responded to that. He looked down with red bloodshot eyes and stopped her as she headed towards the child’s room.

– Leave.

Just one short word, yet the will to protect the child was firm. From then on, Peter could guess that Alexis would no longer abuse himself.

Since then, he has returned like he was before. He did his duty as a collateral of the imperial family and the only brother of the emperor. He regularly attended court meetings, and sent his lieutenant, Viscount Rylent, to rule local estates. He maintained and took care of his knights.

‘But not exactly like before.’

People who didn’t know him well would not notice, but Peter knew. He was trying to look the same as before, but he was not.

Alexis took back all of his forces that had been planted in the Imperial Palace. He summoned all the knights belonging to Walten who had been guarding the emperor and the empress, and also removed the shadow that followed Count Schenberg.

Peter, who knew all these facts during her time as Crown Prince and turned a blind eye to, was uneasy about his change. He revealed that he was not interested in the emperor’s position, so she should be relieved, but she couldn’t bring herself to do so. It’s not that her half-brother had become less careful about her. It was more right to assume that he had lost his will and purpose to live.

He cut everything off without paying attention to power or cause, anger or revenge, or any worldly conflicts and emotions.

Alexis did not participate in any outside activities except for the minimum required to attend as a duty of the grand duke and stayed only in the mansion of the grand duke. He would endlessly look at the child.

Knowing that it was the price for his previous sins, her heart ached. Both her half-brother, Alexis, and her friend, Kathleen, were pitiful for Peter.

“Y-Your Majesty! Your Majesty!”

Just as they were heading to the main palace, a knight who was in charge of the west tower and guarded it rushed to his side.

“What’s going on?”

News from the West Tower was not reported unless it was serious. However, if it had not been reported to his aide and to the emperor himself, it meant that it was no simple matter.

“The E-Empress Dowager has escaped!”

“What? Escape?”

However, what he said was unexpected even more than the ‘sui**de’ that she expected to happen someday.

“Where did mother go?”

“I, I don’t know. Everything was fine until this morning, but she never called for her maid in the afternoon, so when I checked on her, she was already gone.”

She felt dizzy. Still, now that she was sitting on the throne, she thought that her mother would be satisfied and that the rest of her life would be spent repenting of her sins, but it wasn’t.

“Even if you must release all the soldiers in the Imperial Palace, find her. Right now!”

At Peter’s enraged voice, not only the escort knights, but also the low-ranking soldiers who were guarding places hurriedly ran and started the search.

Peter, who was in a hurry to figure out where her mother would go, came up with a question.

‘But why today of all days?’

If she was looking for a chance to escape, she would have had more chances on other days. It would have been more advantageous to flee when she was away from the Imperial Palace, or when her brother didn’t take a single step from the Grand Duke’s residence. Today is the day of the court meeting, so she must have been aware that all nobles entered the palace, but why did she choose today? … .

‘Is it because you heard the results of the court meeting?’

If it was the one thing that her mother couldn’t stand and would have made her get out of the West Tower…… The execution of Isabella Winston. It was very likely that her mother was thinking of her as the cause of everything going wrong.

Without a second thought, Peter ran towards the dungeon.

“Your Majesty! Where are you going?”

The chaplain called from behind but Peter did not slow down.

Perhaps because of the Empress Dowager’s escape, the dungeon was quiet without a guard. For some reason, her body trembled at the unfamiliar cold energy. Peter pulled out a torch at the entrance. She was about to go down to make sure Isabella Winston was confined safely.

But as she was taking one step down the stairs to the basement, someone pushed her shoulder with force and ran out from the inside.

“Ugh!”

The torch fell from Peter’s hand as she stumbled. But she didn’t want to miss the person, so she reached out towards the man’s ankle and kicked it straight away.

“Ugh…!”

Her vision turned backwards, and her balance swung. She had nothing to hold on to and was about to fall from the stairs. Peter instinctively raised her arms up to cover her head.

Then someone grabbed her arm and pulled her up. Peter staggered and fell towards him. Her face slammed into his hard body and she shivered, but luckily she escaped the fall.

As soon as he made sure Peter was safe, he released her arm and went outside. When she reached the entrance, his face was exposed to the bright light, and only then did she know who he was.

“Older brother?”