If I Can’t Be Your Wife - Chapter 89

Kathleen left Carmine with Joseph and headed for Meyer.

Fortunately, it was before the security at the checkpoint was tightened. Since Joseph had not yet been expelled from the priesthood, he used the identity of a traveling priest-in-training, and Kathleen disguised as his assistant, an apprentice priestess. After they entered Meyer without difficulty, they stayed at an inn on the outskirts.

“It would be better to observe the situation first.”

After unpacking in their respective rooms and meeting again at the restaurant, Joseph said to her in a low voice.

“The war hasn’t reached Meyer yet, but the atmosphere is unstable, so it’s better to wait.”

“Even more so that we’re in the outskirts. When the civil war breaks out, it is not the nobles who will suffer first.”

Kathleen said while looking sideways at the mercenaries rushing back and forth.

“First, let’s get the medicine needed for childbirth, and then we’ll go to the grand duke’s mansion. I know where we can sneak in and out through the garden.”

“Alright. But it’s dangerous to move prematurely, so we’ll aim for when that person leaves the mansion.”

“……Yes. It probably won’t take long.”

She was grateful of Joseph’s consideration for not mentioning Alexis’ name, but the more she felt that, the more his presence felt like a thorn that had been invisibly pierced under her fingernails. She wanted to pretend she didn’t know, but in the end she couldn’t. She’ll probably have to worry about it for the rest of your life.

“Did you hear that? The reason for the rebellion.”

A group of mercenaries sitting at the next table could be heard chattering loudly.

“Well. How can an ignorant id*ot with only a sword know the thoughts of high-ranking people? What is it?”

“I heard from Ralph, too. His Majesty the Emperor is not really qualified to be emperor?”

Kathleen and Joseph’s eyes met. Before they could say anything, their faces hardened. If he was born as a prince and was appointed as the crown prince, there was only one reason that he did not deserve to ascend the throne.

“He doesn’t deserve it? If the Crown Prince does not become the Emperor, who will?”

“The truth is, His Majesty is not really a man! Count Hopewell can’t revolt for nothing, doesn’t that make sense?”

“Hey, this guy. What nonsense is that? Is that even possible?”

“Listen. I also thought it was nonsense at first, but isn’t there a reason why Count Winston would be ruined so suddenly? It is the family of the young lady who was engaged to the Crown Prince. He was trying to keep their mouths shut because his gender was revealed.”

“That’s true. So is he really?”

As suspicions began to spread, distrust grew like wildfire. The mercenaries sat down and continued talking and the other people in the restaurant also listened.

It was an unlikely theory. She didn’t know how Count Hopewell found out about it, but she never expected that it would pass the mouths of commoners before it was officially put forward as justification.

She herself experienced how word of mouth sometimes had more power than official declarations.

“Look over there! Walten soldiers!”

When someone shouted, the people in the restaurant began to flock. Others opened the windows and looked down.

“Are they joining the war?”

“What, not the imperial army, but the Walten army is going to suppress the rebellion?”

“Aren’t they just taking this opportunity to cut off the Grand Duke’s arms and feet by separating the soldiers?”

All sorts of speculations floated around. The public opinion of the commoners had already moved away from Peter, who was falsely crowned, and to Alexis, who was born unhappy and wandered the battlefield.

Peter was someone who had to be strong to hide her secrets, but she wasn’t inherently strong. Kathleen couldn’t help but worry.

‘Will you be alright…….’

Kathleen looked around her with a heavy heart. Three or five people who were already staying at the inn had gathered and were convinced that Peter was a woman. The distrust towards the emperor who deceived the people and broke the law, had already threatened his legitimacy and authority in full force.

“Kelly.”

Joseph spoke firmly, as if emphasizing Kathleen.

“Do not forget. We’re here to pick up Luci.”

Kathleen forced herself to nod, grabbed her glass and took a sip of water. But Peter’s tearful face who had cried for her came to mind, and the water that flowed down her throat seemed to taste bitter.

***

“Your Majesty, Grand Duke Walten is asking for an audience.”

Peter, who was anxiously walking around the office, stood tall upon hearing the aide.

“Grand Duke Walten?”

“Yes. What should I do?”

Peter was hesitant to answer. If the cause of the ever-spreading rebellion had reached the Emperor’s ears, then Alexis already knew. She was at a loss, unable to tell how he would react.

But before Peter could make a decision, the door to his office opened, and a black cloak fluttered.

“Your Majesty.”

Upon entering, Alexis was not wearing the Grand Duke’s ceremonial uniform but a silver-colored armor.

“Grand Duke Walten, what is this……?”

He looked like he was ready to go to war at any moment. As Alexis approached and beckoned, the aide closed the door and left.

Peter asked urgently.

“What are you doing?”

“I wish to go to war.”

Alexis said quietly. He looked unwavering as if he had never heard of the rumor that the emperor was a woman. It wasn’t even funny.

“Without my permission?”

“I’m here to get it.”

“Brother must never go himself.”

“If I don’t go, it won’t be suppressed.”

“But it is too dangerous. You already know, your body hasn’t fully healed, but if you collapse there…….”

“That’s why I’m here to ask. Take care of Luci while I’m out on the battlefield.”

“With that kind of determination, it’s all the more reason that I can’t let you go.”

He wasn’t asking to be sent to the rear or to provide supplies to the Imperial Army, he intended to fight alone with all his might. Peter approached him, feeling as if she had lost her footing..

“I won’t let my family get hurt anymore.”

It was something that she should have decided from the very beginning. It was her mother who planted the seeds of rebellion in the first place so she should have been severely punished, and Peter should have stepped down from the throne. Then perhaps she might not have gone so far as to assassinate her father.

It came to this point because of her greed. Thinking that she could do well, she held on until the end with the vain hope that if she became emperor, she would be able to mediate the conflict between her mother and her older brother.

It was the time for her to make a decision.

“I’d rather go to war myself.”

Alexis shouldn’t die. Trivellian had to have a male imperial family member, so if either of them had to die, it had to be her, the female.

So, if he didn’t know yet, she had to reveal it now. Peter’s eyes grew hot as she clenched her teeth.

“I am the cause of the rebellion, brother. So it is only right for me to step up.”

“…….”

“I deceived everyone. I deceived His Majesty the late Emperor and older brother, as well as the whole empire. Count Hopewell is right. I don’t deserve to be an emperor. I, I am not a man…….”

“Peter.”

Alexis, who cut off her trembling confession with a single slice like a knife, was determined.

“My decision will not change.”

Peter doubted her ears. Even though she revealed the fact that she was a woman, she couldn’t understand why the way he looked at her stayed the same.

“Don’t you already know? If brother dies, I will not be able to protect the empire. Brother, please protect Meyer. I will go to war.”

“There has been no precedent where an emperor without an heir went to the battlefield themselves.”

“Even if I die, the Empire will not change. Because brother is here…….”

“You are the emperor.”

She was speechless for a moment. Peter could barely open her mouth.

“Didn’t you hear me? I am a woman. How can I continue to sit on the throne…….”

“I heard you.”

Alexis said as he gripped the sword around his waist.

“You should know better than anyone that there is no provision in the Imperial Law that prohibits a princess from being crowned.”

“…….”

“Even now, Hopewell is advancing to Meyer. Do you think you, who have never been on the battlefield, will be able to defeat them?”

Though harsh, she couldn’t refute the reasonable assertion he made. There was not even an ounce of kindness, but tears rolled down Peter’s cheeks at the voice that touched her more than any sort of consolation.

Alexis looked at Peter and continued talking.

“I had the High Priest of Delafos re-examine the founding oracles. He said that the meaning of the imperial court’s interpretation and the present situation would have changed. The winter fairies are different from ordinary humans, so as long as Luci, who has the blood of the two, is safe, there will be no more disasters in the empire.”

Only after hearing the High Priest’s interpretation did Alexis understand why the Emperor, who valued the prestige of the imperial family above all else, brought a foreign maid to conceive his son. He knew that Meyer’s pure blood alone would not keep the empire stable.

Although having a child with Kathleen, who inherited the blood of the Winter Fairies, was not intended, ultimately, it protected the Empire. So even if he died, the Trivellian land would not collapse.

He was able to solidify his decision after he learned that.

“You just have to live as the emperor.”

If they fail to stop Hopewell’s advance, they will trample on the north where Kathleen sleeps, and Luci, a blood of the imperial family, would become a thorn in their eyes, making it dangerous. If he could use his poisoned body to protect Kathleen’s hometown and their child, ending his life this way wouldn’t be too bad.

‘If that’s enough, even if I meet Kathleen in the underworld, I wouldn’t be ashamed at least.’

He resented being born, but if he could die like that, he would be satisfied.

Alexis stepped out of the office leaving his sobbing sister behind.

“Brother!”

Peter called and tried to go after him, but Alexis didn’t turn around. As soon as he left the palace, he was ready to march. Even if Peter tried to stop him now, it was already too late.

Alexis spoke quickly as Viscount Rylent, who was waiting outside the main palace, caught up with him.

“Send a letter to the imperial court meeting when I go to war.”

“A letter? What……?”

“I wrote it down and left it in my office. I have volunteered to go to war and Hopewell’s cause is based on groundless rumors, so do not be shaken.”

“Your Highness…….”

“Keep an eye on Peter so he doesn’t do anything foolish.”

When I die and disappear, the only person who will protect Luci is Peter. If it was for that child, I would have no regrets and no grudges in my life.

Without hesitation, Alexis got on the war horse and left through the palace gates.