If I Can’t Be Your Wife - Chapter 90

On the third day after arriving in Meyer, Joseph and Kathleen hid in the Grand Duke’s residence. The atmosphere was chaotic and tense since Grand Duke Walten had already set out to war with his soldiers, and the number of defense personnel had diminished to the extent that the security in the mansion was significantly decreased.

 

Kathleen headed for the side road she used to enter and leave when she was still the duke’s kitchen maid. After entering the mansion dressed as a servant carrying food, she lifted the ivy covering the wall to the east. Then a small door appeared.

 

“We can enter this way.”

 

Kathleen whispered and took the lead. Joseph grabbed the paper bag and looked behind once, then followed her inside.

 

The long path was complicated, but her memory of living there for a long time remained vivid so her feet moved on their own. Kathleen held her breath more and more as the familiar surroundings were revealed.

 

Contrary to her nervousness, the sky with white feathery clouds was a chilly blue.

She looked around the garden, the annex, and the first floor of the main building with Joseph, but Luci was nowhere to be seen.

 

Joseph said with an anxious expression on his face.

 

“We don’t have much time so we’ll split up and find him, Kelly. We must return to Carmine today.”

 

“Alright. Let’s meet at that doorway before lunch.”

 

After she separated from him, she got the insane idea that Luci would be playing with toys in his room after breakfast by now. Kathleen took off her robe in a corner of the garden, and she naturally let her hair down to cover her face as she tried to look like a maid as best as she could.

 

She cautiously entered the main building but there were a few servants. They didn’t seem busy, perhaps because their owner wasn’t there.

 

She picked up the pace and reached the third floor. The door to her child’s room was slightly open, and she heard a joyful laugh from the gap.

 

‘Thank god.’

 

Kathleen swept her chest. It seemed that Luci had not yet found out his secret. He was now three years old and she thought that her child could have enough questions about his face so she was nervous every day. However, seeing that he was still doing well as the young master of the Walten family, his original face must not have returned yet.

 

“Young Master, please stay with Emily for a moment. I’ll check to see if the swing has been prepared for you.”

 

Then the nanny came out of the room. Kathleen quickly hid behind the corner of a wall.

 

She looked at the back of the woman descending the stairs rather impatiently. The thought of being able to take her child with her made her restless.

 

Kathleen quietly approached and opened the door to her child’s room.

 

“Who are you?”

 

Emily, who was with Luci, got up noticing her unfamiliar face, and asked warily.

 

“Weren’t you told not to enter the Young Master’s room recklessly?”

 

“I am a new maid. The nanny told me to bring the Young Master.”

 

“No. Master said that no one but the nanny and I can approach Young Master.”

 

I didn’t know Alexis would go that far. Although he seemed to care about my child, he never overprotected him.

 

Kathleen pondered how she should reply as she turned her gaze to Luci, who was sitting in his baby chair.

 

Then, as if struck by lightning, she was shocked as she and her son, whom she hadn’t seen for a long time, met eyes.

 

‘Your face has changed.’

 

Unfamiliar yet also familiar. The eyes that glowed silvery blue were the same, but the face was not of the child who slept in her arms half a year ago. The sharp lips and slim jaw. The shape of his nose and forehead were that of Luci when they were still in the village of Osole.

 

‘Why?’

 

Emily’s expression only showed vigilance towards her, but she was not surprised about Luci’s face. If that’s the case, then it means that his face has been exposed for a long time.

 

‘……Didn’t he change when he found out that Luci was his son?’

 

He was a man who didn’t want a child to inherit his blood, but wanted another man’s child to be his own because of jealousy and possessiveness. At the same time, he was the one who saw her as a tool to amplify the Empress Dowager’s anxiety.

 

However, after she disappeared, she thought that Alexis was still close with the child whose real face was still hidden.

 

Luci, who had been staring at Kathleen who was nailed to the spot for a long time, tilted his head and asked.

 

“Mom?”

 

“Young Master?”

 

Emily panicked and turned to his side.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Are you Mom?”

 

“No. Young Master, the Grand Duchess…….”

 

“I’m right, Mom!”

 

Luci stretched his arms out and struggled. Without the slightest doubt in his conviction.

 

Emily comforted the child with a pitiful look.

 

“Young Master, you have misunderstood. That person isn’t the Madam, she’s a new maid…… Wait, you……!”

 

Kathleen saw herself in the child’s big eyes. Even though her face had changed, her heart ached and she could not take her eyes off of her son who was filled with affection for her and had recognized her at once.

 

“Oh my god!”

 

She could see the change in her face without looking in the mirror or in clear water. She heard Emily gasp in astonishment, there was no helping it.

 

“Mom!”

 

“Luci. I’m sorry for coming so late.”

 

Holding back her tears, she ran and hugged her child tightly. Luci also cried and dug into her arms.

 

“Madam, Kathleen, no, Kelly…… What in the world happened?”

 

Emily asked incoherently as she flopped to the floor.

 

“You disappeared like that from Carmine…… Everyone thought Kelly was really gone. We couldn’t find you when His Majesty sent a search party, so we really thought you were lost in the ground forever. But you must have been alive…….”

 

“It’s a long story, Emily. I’m sorry for not letting you know.”

 

Kathleen took her hand and spoke quickly.

 

“We don’t have time. We have to go.”

 

“Huh? Aren’t you back?”

 

“My thoughts about leaving are still the same.”

 

Kathleen stood up with her child in her arms.

 

“I found my family in Carmine. I came to take Luci. So let’s go together, Emily.”

 

“B-But…….”

 

Emily’s face turned white. Kathleen tried to convince her.

 

“This is my last chance. When that person comes back, there’s no more. You know how he chased us back then.”

 

“Dad said he would read me a book.”

 

Luci interrupted and said.

 

“He told me to wait. Can’t we go with Daddy?”

 

The child was talking a lot. Kathleen was taken aback by Luci’s words. It was unimaginable that Alexis would read him a book.

 

“Kelly, I know how you feel, but I don’t think you should leave like this.”

 

Hesitating, Emily said earnestly.

 

“I won’t tell anyone. Wait a few days and listen to what I have to say. Then you might change your mind.”

 

“What’s the difference if I change my mind?”

 

Kathleen swore she would not be shaken. She asked.

 

“What he did to me doesn’t change. Even if I stay here, in the end, everything will repeat. When he comes back, I’ll have to live the way he wants me to be again. You know I don’t want to live like that.”

 

“I know. But if you leave like this, you will definitely regret it.”

 

The sunlight shining through the open window was getting brighter. The time to meet up with Joseph has come.

 

“I have to go, Emily. If you want to go together, follow me now.”

 

Kathleen carried Luci and left the room.

 

“Oh my!”

 

The nanny, who was about to step inside, noticed Kathleen’s face, and immediately fell to the floor in shock. Kathleen didn’t care and quickly went down the stairs. Emily hastily followed suit.

 

Due to the dispatch of the troops, she tried to silently go through the quiet mansion but the servants were rarely seen either. Kathleen was able to leave the main building without difficulty. She was caught by Emily just as she was about to make her way through the garden to the side road.

 

“Wait, wait a second. Kelly, just look at this.”

 

Emily cried out and rummaged through the pockets of her skirt. Then she held out a scrolled document. A seal engraved with the Walten family crest was attached to its surface.

 

It was a will and testament.

 

Kathleen barely stopped, moving her stiff tongue.

 

“This…… What is it?”

 

“It’s a will and testament. Master gave it to me before he left.”

 

Kathleen grew up as the daughter of a Count and lived as the Duke’s wife. It was not unknown to her for a Commander who had gone to the battlefield to leave a will and testament behind.

 

‘Are you going to die? Are you going to die there?’

 

Still, she didn’t want to admit it. The will and testament before her eyes and her thoughts of Alexis clashed, and her head went blank.

 

“Kelly.”

 

Joseph’s voice could be heard behind her. Looking back, he was standing there with a complicated face.

 

“Oh, Joseph…… I found Luci.”

 

“Joseph?”

 

Luci, who called his name, tilted his head and put a finger on his mouth. He looked confused.

 

“You don’t seem to remember my face?”

 

He smiled bitterly and put down the paper bag he was holding. After staring at the will and testament Emily had been holding for a while, he carried Luci and said.

 

“Read it, Kelly.”

 

“But.”

 

“If you don’t read it, you will regret it for the rest of your life.”

 

“…….”

 

Kathleen accepted the will and testament with trembling hands. She tore the seal open and read it. The will and testament, addressed to Peter Trivellian, was densely filled with small letters.

 

[After death, take the Walten name and bury me in the North.]

 

[Burn my body and bury my ashes under the road to Carmine. Do not build a grave, and let all who come in and out step on it.]

 

The request for Luci written at the bottom was added in confidence. He was predicting his death.

 

‘Why would you die? Then you know this country will fall.’

 

Her breath was caught in her throat. Even knowing that Peter was a woman. Luci won’t be safe either, so why leave a will and testament to protect the child?

 

“Master won’t come back. Ever…….”

 

Emily said with tears in her eyes.