If I Don’t Get Married I’ll Die - Chapter 43

‘I just closed my eyes for a moment!’

 

I was stunned when I saw that everyone’s spots had been tidied up except mine.

 

It must have been a while since everyone woke up as there was not even a hint of sleepiness on their faces.

 

Even the knights had already finished preparing for our departure and were eating.

 

I overslept too much.

 

‘When the hell did I fall asleep?’

 

It was surprising because one, I fell asleep this deeply and two, because for the first time in a long time, let alone a nightmare, I slept without a single dream.

 

But the most shocking of it all was that I was sleeping in the middle of people having a meal.

 

While I slept with legs stretched out, people were sitting and eating in a circle around me.

 

It was no different than sleeping on the table.

 

“Why didn’t anyone wake me up?”

 

I begrudgingly asked Lamia.

 

She was gulping yesterday’s leftover meat soup next to me who was lying down.

 

Lamia calmly chewed her food and replied.

 

“Oh, you’re awake? You were sleeping so soundly, and the Marquis told us not to wake you.”

 

“Still, you should have woken me up properly…..!”

 

Then the chieftain’s wife offered me a bowl of soup.

 

“Did you sleep well? Go on, have a bowl of soup. You’ll be on the move all day so you need a hearty soup to energize you.”

 

I mindlessly accepted the bowl.

 

The Uttar people seemed unconcerned, perhaps it was common for them to have a meal while someone slept in, like I did.

 

However, Kalius’ men buried their faces in their bowls to avoid eye contact with me.

 

One of them accidentally met my eyes and burst into laughter.

 

“Pfft! Keurk! Keurgh! Kaeck!”

 

I quickly scanned for Kalius.

 

Kalius, who had been eating and talking with the chieftain opposite him, only then noticed that I had risen and smiled.

 

I widened my eyes at him and expressed my displeasure.

 

But I wonder if he interpreted my expression like that, as he smiled gently and nodded his head.

 

‘I can’t go after him and ask why he embarrassed me by telling them not to wake me up.’

 

With tears in my eyes and a sliver of hope, I asked Lamia.

 

“I didn’t talk in my sleep, did I?”

 

Lamia, with her cheeks stuffed with meat, chewed and blinked widely.

 

“You talked in your sleep.”

 

Then, as if it was no big deal, she urged me to eat.

 

“Come on, try it. The soup is hot so it feels like your remaining fatigue is being relieved.”

 

Kalius and Lamia. I can’t believe the people I trusted here are so indifferent!

 

I whispered, lowering my voice as much as possible.

 

“How did I talk in my sleep?”

 

“You snored a little bit. You must have been tired.”

 

“I snored?”

 

“Yes. Grrr gurroo.”

 

I pressed my forehead in shame.

 

Actually, I wanted to tear my hair out, but I couldn’t show something more shameful in front of many people.

 

Lamia patted my shoulder magnanimously.

 

“Ei, why are you embarrassed about that? You didn’t snore the whole time. Not many people heard it.”

 

“Really…..?”

 

My mind was a little relieved.

 

Lamia urged.

 

“Eat quickly. You have to eat well so you can snore more powerfully.”

 

“…..!”

 

It was clear that she was teasing me. Upset, I stared at her with a tearful face, and Lamia laughed mischievously.

 

But what has happened has already happened.

 

I gave up with a sigh and drank the soup.

 

To think that I’d be eating in front of people with a face that hasn’t been washed yet.

 

‘My hair must be a mess too.’

 

I pressed the hood of my leather jacket lower.

 

The soup was from the leftovers from yesterday, but contrary to my expectation that it would be less tasty, it tasted more savory and richer today.

 

As the chieftain’s wife said, it had a strong taste that seemed to give me strength today.

 

 

* * *

 

 

After the meal, while the people were cleaning up, I was being served by the maids in a corner of the Kerr.

 

The children of the Uttar tribe sat around me at a distance and watched.

 

As if they found it strange that I was getting ready to leave, they whispered something between themselves. Amongst them however were children who were still clumsy at controlling the volume of their voices therefore we could hear their conversation clearly.

 

“It looks like the princess doesn’t know how to wash her face by herself.”

 

“I can wash my face by myself.”

 

“Shh. It’s because she’s a princess. Usually, princesses don’t wash their faces themselves.”

 

“Why?”

 

It was a very innocent and curious conversation.

 

I didn’t feel any malice, but it did feel a bit odd.

 

This was what I learned was the right thing all my life, but somehow it felt like my lifestyle, which the learnings I never doubted, was being denied.

 

I was a little discouraged.

 

‘You know how to wash your face by yourself? I’ve never washed my face on my own before……’

 

Even though I was looked down on or abused, there was always an attendant to help me wash my face.

 

Even when Viscount Pelsus beat me and my lips had burst, I endured the maid’s rough touch and was washed.

 

That was what I knew, so that was how I lived.

 

However, listening to the children’s conversation, for the very first time, I wondered why I had never thought of washing my face alone.

 

‘It’s not like there’s a law saying that a princess can’t wash her face alone.’

 

Vanessa frowned and tried to drive them away, as if the children’s chatter was bothering her.

 

“You rude brats! You dare act like this in front of Her Highness, the Imperial Princess?”

 

I gestured towards Vanessa.

 

“Leave them alone, Vanessa.”

 

“But those kids are mocking Her Highness, the Imperial Princess. Besides, calling her a princess is an insult. You have to give them a good scolding.”

 

“There’s nothing wrong with what the children said. And those kids just don’t know the difference between a princess and an imperial princess*.”

 

[*TL/N: The kids refer to her as 공주 (Gongju) instead of 황녀 (Hwangnyeo)

공주 = princess (common noun) used to refer to the daughter of a king 

황녀 = Hwangnyeo is a ‘title’ given to the daughter of an emperor, Imperial Princess.]

 

While the other maids combed my hair, I chided Vanessa.

 

“You probably don’t realize, but your reaction is too much. What will people think of me if you act immaturely against children?”

 

“……”

 

Vanessa, who had been on the receiving end of my criticism since yesterday, glared at me coldly.

 

“Her Highness the Queen will be notified of every detail about this.”

 

“Do so and you’ll look pathetic, you’re reporting even the useless things.”

 

I accepted without losing.

 

I have now judged Vanessa to be unworthy of my vigilance and careful scrutiny, I can be more outspoken in dealing with her.

 

‘She’s too foolish and her actions are obvious. Kavala doesn’t trust people like that.’

 

Except for Lamia and Vanessa, I should be on the lookout for the two other maids.

 

Vanessa pouted at my words and withdrew.

 

The two maids were now watching me, feeling that the balance of power between me and Vanessa had shifted in my direction, and Lamia had attached herself to me.

 

‘Some of them must be pretending to be stupid. Or maybe it’s both of them.’

 

It was exhausting to be vigilant of the people next to me.

 

The Uttar children approached me with more confidence now that I stopped Vanessa from kicking them out.

 

One of the children who had been staring at the maids working on my hair and putting on my robe dared to ask.

 

“Can’t the princess dress on her own?”

 

I told the child honestly.

 

“I’ve never done that before.”

 

“Why?”

 

I smiled a bit bitterly and asked back.

 

“Well, I wonder?”

 

Unexpectedly, the child came up with a great answer.

 

“Isn’t it because they just want the princess to sit still?”

 

“They just want me to sit still?”

 

“Yes! If the princess doesn’t do anything and stays pretty, these older sisters will be more comfortable!”

 

The child pointed to my maids.

 

“If the princess gets dirty while moving alone, these older sisters will have to wash and dress you again.”

 

The child let out a deep sigh.

 

“I also want my younger brother to stay still. My little brother doesn’t know how to do anything, but he keeps trying to do something. That’s why it’s hard for me.”

 

“Is that so?”

 

“Yes. But my mom keeps telling me that my little brother has to do his part too. But sometimes it’s too much of a hassle because I have to clean up my brother’s mess.”

 

It was like getting hit in the head.

 

The child was right.

 

If I had tried to do and learn something myself, it would have been increasingly difficult for Andrea to control me as I grew up.

 

Do nothing, just sit still and look pretty.

 

To make me into a fool they can comfortably use as they liked.

 

I realized from the child’s words that this was what Andrea and Viscount Pelsus wanted.

 

I lamented my folly, I thought that they had at least treated me like a princess because of the prestige of the imperial family.