If Only I Could Disappear - Chapter 11

Compliments were showered on Finnier Rosewood, who was in a white dress.

“Oh my gosh! You look so beautiful, Lady Fynn!”

“It’s as though a flame is wrapped in white petals…”

“After this wedding, I’ll have to address you as Your Highness Finnier.”

“Of the people that I have served, you are the most beautiful. I knew that elegant and chaste clothes would look good on you, too.”

Fynn tilted her head at the word used by the chattering maids and interrupted them.

“Chaste?”

“It’s just… The white colour of the wedding dress symbolises purity. So the prepared dress for the banquet is also white coloured, oh right.”

The maid raised her eyebrows while holding up the fitting white dress she had set aside.

“Lady Fynn, are you, by any chance, menstruating? If it bothers you, should I bring a different outfit in?”

As Fynn fiddled with the uncomfortably long sleeves, she shook her head indifferently. Her only choices were between a white dress and a red dress, but the red dress that was prepared for the banquet had an overly low neckline and the excessively shiny lace that was akin to the scales of a snake was tacky.

Wearing such clothes would only strengthen the stereotype that the mistress seduced the emperor. Even if it was plain, the white dress was much better.

“Come to think of it, I haven’t menstruated for months.”

The maids nodded. It has been months since Finnier Rosewood entered the imperial castle, but none of the maids has ever seen her menstruate.

Then the women exchanged meaningful gazes amongst themselves. Come to think of it, Fynn spent almost every night with the emperor……

……Don’t tell me.

Finnier ignored the suspicion-like curiosity that was rising around her and combed her long hair with her fingers.

* * *

The wedding between Edmund Lez Setton Mendez and Finnier Rosewood was unprecedentedly spectacular.

The petals of roses that were carefully cultivated in the greenhouse were scattered above the spacious carpet unreservedly, and the altar, decorated with gold and jewels, looked very luxurious as it sparkled. Pearl powder was sprinkled over Fynn’s white dress, which was embroidered with silver thread, and with each step she took the layers of petticoats fluttered like a fairy’s wings, scattering light.

People wagged their tongues at the sight of a woman dressed more extravagantly than the empress, but they did not dare to rise in rebellion when they learned that the wedding was directed by none other than the emperor.

“But isn’t this overly extravagant…?”

“You’re right. I heard that the bad harvest that started in the southern region has gradually progressed towards the capital, making the atmosphere terrible.”

“Is that all? Apparently the situation in the north is also terrible. I’m talking about the grand duchy of Weltz. Even that place is also…”

The discontentment, which had been secretly travelling around, began to spread further when Edmund handed Fynn a bouquet of flowers woven with jewels.

As it was a big event in the Empire, not only aristocrats, but also the owners of large-scaled merchant groups as well as common-born reporters were gathered at the wedding. When they recalled the modest dress that Sotis had worn at the empress’ wedding, expressions of disapproval appeared on their faces.

“In a situation where people are dying of starvation as a loaf of bread is rare…”

“Yes, I heard that there is an epidemic in the slums.”

“It’s been going on for quite a while. There isn’t enough land to bury them, let alone holding a funeral for them.”

The quick-witted Fynn picked up on all of their conversations.

As of today, Finnier Rosewood has become an imperial consort. Was that all? Time was on her side. As long as she endured for a while, Edmund would hand over the empress’s seat to Fynn, even if it upsetted Sotis. Sotis didn’t have Edmund’s heart, but it was in Fynn’s grasp.

The problem was that Sotis Marigold Mendez was quite a smart woman. She was quite a suitable person as the empress. She was capable and gentle, and even very wise.

The way Sotis saved Fynn unhesitatingly, and how she’d never been hostile with Fynn had reached the people, along with her tenderness, benevolence and kindness. She settled the large and small problems in the Mendez Empire, and played a role in examining and resolving commoners’ complaints that the emperor did not manage directly.

The people believed that Sotis was truly an empress that helped the sick and the needy. The nobles also secretly looked down on her, saying that she had occupied that position through a political marriage, but they couldn’t mock Sotis’ accomplishments.

It was easy to gain the position of an imperial consort. However, that kind of reputation was hard to bring about.

“Fynn. Why are you all by yourself? Without even going to talk to other people?”

A large arm wrapped around the waist of Fynn, who was standing beside a wall and observing the people’s actions. It was a familiar move.

Edmund seemed to be in a good mood, as the corners of his mouth was raised, and he planted a kiss on Fynn’s forehead.

“Do you want me to bring some food to you?”

“Yes, Your Majesty. Anything Your Majesty gets me will be fine.”

Edmund brought the fish that she usually liked on a small plate.

“You look pale, Fynn. You can retire earlier if you’re tired.”

“It’s alright. It’s a day that will never come again, so I want to enjoy it to my heart’s content.”

Fynn took the plate from the emperor. The fish was topped with a sauce made from the juice of whole lemons and seemed quite appetising.

It was also the first dish she had after coming to imperial castle. The first dinner displayed before her, who used to eating hard bread and cheese every time, was more luxurious and incredible than she had ever dreamed of in her life.

Edmund cut a small portion of the food on the plate with a fork and held it in front of her mouth. It looked as though he was willing to do anything for her today.

With a slight smile at the incomparably affectionate gesture, Fynn leaned down slightly.

“……Ugh.”

People’s attention quickly turned towards Fynn.

“Fynn?”

She would have finished the entire plate’s worth of fish normally, but it felt particularly fishy and unpleasant today. Fynn turned her head away. She could feel Edmund’s stinging gaze.

“My apologies, Your Majesty. I don’t feel well…”

Edmund quickly called the nearby attendants to remove the plate and held her by the shoulder.

“Call for a doctor right away. Go in and rest. You might have fallen ill. I’ll wrap the banquet up, alright?”

“It’s alright, I’ll stay for a little longer, if I really can’t stand it…”

Before Fynn could finish speaking, she dry heaved again. The buzzing people who gathered in twos and threes fell silent, before beginning to talk amongst themselves as though they had a hunch.

Edmund, who had a similar idea, also watched Fynn for a moment, before calling her maid and asking obscurely.

“…… Has Fynn menstruated in recent months?”

The maid had never imagined that the emperor would personally ask about this, lowered her head with a reddened face.

“W, with all due respect, Your Majesty…… She had never once done so ever since she entered the imperial castle.”

Edmund listened to her words with a perplexed look, before he searched for Fynn’s hands and held them with a slightly joyous countenance.

“Fynn. Finnier. Do you happen to be with child?”

With a slightly surprised expression, the red-haired woman looked at the emperor.

“That can’t be…”

“There is a possibility. You’ve always spent time with me ever since you entered the castle, and aren’t we both at a good age to have children? We’ll only know the details after seeing a doctor, but I’m rather looking forward to it.”

A smile was on Edmund’s face. He ordered people to diligently bring roasted chicken topped with raspberries or home-made ham cooked with pepper, a small fried fish, pie topped with fig jam and fermented juice that had a sweet and sour taste. All of these were the dishes Fynn usually eats.

Although Fynn could consume a few dishes with gusto, she couldn’t swallow anything that had a slightly fishy taste and spit them out immediately.

Unlike her pale face, the emperor’s face gradually brightened even further.

“It seems that the new imperial consort will soon have good news.”

The quick-witted aristocrats approached with bright smiles on their faces.

“Right? Can there be anything else that’s more joyous than this? For a while now, it has been quiet as there wasn’t any news of children in the imperial family, so Your Majesty must be very happy.”

Edmund waved his hand, saying that nothing was certain yet, but he could not hide his joy.

How he anticipated the moment that Fynn would have a baby. As long as she gave birth to a son, he could get rid of Sotis completely, under the pretext of having a prince. Then, he would be able to drive out the Duke of Marigold, who relied on those secrets to be so confident.

In his heart, Edmund wanted to hug Fynn and share this joy with her. If there was only one thing Sotis did well, it was, without a doubt, the fact that she saved this woman and brought her in front of him. If it weren’t for the expensive wedding dresses and the outpour of gazes, he would have hugged Fynn and spun in a circle already.

But Fynn wasn’t as happy as Edmund. No, it was the other way around. She bowed her head with a melancholy look. The green eyes that fell down seemed to shed tears at any moment.

“Is this considered good news?”

“Your Highness, what do you mean by that? You might be pregnant, so why are you unhappy?”

“What’s wrong, Fynn?”

“Even if I have a baby…”

Fynn added with a shrinking voice.

“It will only be criticised as a child from a lowly mistress. The label of not being born from the empress will remain on my child for the rest of my life. I’m alright with enduring the fingers that point at me alone, but I don’t have the confidence to relax and be happy when I think about what the innocent baby will suffer through.”

She fell silent for a moment and tried to calm her agitation. A cold silence fell over the banquet hall inadvertently. Even the orchestra, which was playing a cheerful dance song, waited for Finnier Rosewood’s words to halt with their instruments placed down.

When Fynn noticed the dozens of gazes looking at her, she felt nauseous again. In the face of gazes that were judging and evaluating her, she was naturally reminded of her past where she was almost sold. At the frightful memory, her body trembled and tears well up naturally.

“Y—you know. The Lady of the Empire’s soul is separated from her body, and she wouldn’t wake up…”

Fynn’s bombshell-like announcement caused a freezing silence to fall in their surroundings.

“What does that mean, Fynn?”

Fynn found the two people, who looked particularly pale and anxious, amidst the crowd.

Lehman Periwinkle and Marianne Rosewood. The two allies that held onto Sotis to prevent her from falling while she was on the edge of the precipice.

Fynn spoke without avoiding their eyes.

“The reason Her Majesty, Empress Sotis, isn’t waking up is because her soul has separated from her body.”

* * *