If Only I Could Disappear - Chapter 18

The next day, as promised, Sotis went to the main palace to announce that the divorce with Edmund was mutually agreed upon.

The Imperial Family was practically turned upside down. At the shocking actions of Sotis, who he believed was a talent that could revive the family, the Duke of Marigold trembled to the point where he looked pitiful. The nobles forgot to lower their voices and exchanged views amongst themselves busily.

Amongst them, only Edmund, Fynn, Sotis, Lehman and Marianne remained calm.

“How can you do this to me, Your Majesty!”

The indignant Duke Marigold practically dragged her towards the Empress’ Palace. It was Sotis’ first time seeing the Duke’s appearance, and followed him with a puzzled face, but her eyes soon widened at the pain that radiated from her cheek.

“There’s a limit to how much you can make a fool out of your family!”

The duke slapped her in the face. Smack, a sharp ringing sound occurred before she had the time to hear that sound.

“It’s already infuriating that the Emperor would do something like that, but how can Your Majesty Sotis do this?”

“……Father.”

“Do you think that’s the reason I called for all kinds of doctors and wizards, and went to great pains to wake Your Majesty up?”

Overwhelmed by the Duke of Marigold’s momentum, Sotis carefully stroked her stinging cheeks. Her cold and pallid fingers were trembling slightly.

Her heart ached as though her heart had suffered a beating. Her heartbeat was so rapid that her heart throbbed violently.

She had never been hit like this before. For all her life, she has always been a good and exemplary daughter that moved like she was the duke’s puppet.

“……So you didn’t want me to be revived.”

For a month, she sat by the window and watched the face of the duke, who wore his feet out walking in and out of the empress’ palace. She also held a little anticipation at the sight of his despair, rather, his sorrowful appearance.

Although she said that she didn’t hold any expectations, her feelings of spite were out of her control.

Truthfully, she knew. If she truly didn’t hold any expectations, she wouldn’t have observed the Duke’s face closely. Will her father, who was holding her skinny hand, apologise, will he tremble in fear as he waits?

If that had been the case, she wouldn’t be feeling so hurt now.

“The Duke is just afraid that the authority of the duke will weaken.”

“Am I the only one living under the name of Marigold! Your Majesty, are you doing this in order to live by yourself? Please answer me.”

Sotis gasped back.

“After the divorce…… I’ve already spoken in front of everyone that the Imperial Consort conferment ceremony will commence once the condition of my body improves. His Majesty has also said that he’ll treat the Duke of Marigold with all due respect…”

“Your Majesty, even a seven-year-old child won’t be fooled by that absolute lie! It’s not even the first or second time that the emperor didn’t keep his promises! It’s obviously nonsense, and once again! Once again, you’re being taken in by that!”

She smiled bitterly at the duke’s bellow.

Indeed, Edmund has never kept any of his promises to Sotis. If he changed his mind right now, he might even demand that she vacate the empress’ palace immediately, saying that he would take care of things like the state affairs on his own.

If not, it would be for the sake of his honour, and not out of consideration for her. Under the situation when the divorce has already been forcibly pushed ahead, he would try to gain the maximum amount of profit so that there wouldn’t be even greater resentment.

“Do something, anything, Your Majesty.”

“I am no longer the empress. Please call me by name.”

“Right, Sotis.”

The duke grabbed Sotis rather roughly by her shoulders.

“If you aren’t the empress, become an imperial consort, no, a mistress even. In other words, even if you have to enter the emperor’s garden naked, ingratiate yourself with him. Hm? You’d definitely said that you wanted to become the empress. If it weren’t for you, I could have ordered Cheryl to do so. And yet you did this…”

“……”

She couldn’t breathe. Degrading words poured from the Duke’s mouth and flew in her direction like needles that poked her indiscriminately.

“Aren’t you a good daughter? That’s why, for the family’s sake…”

“……I’m, a member of the Marigold ducal family……”

Sotis spoke tearfully.

“That’s why His Majesty, hates me. You know it. Think about it… the one that threatened the Imperial Family, and took the position of empress forcibly… His Majesty Edmund has never looked at me warmly, Father…”

“……”

“Now, I… I’m tired of His Majesty’s cold treatment. I don’t like having to do my best just to escape from people’s criticism either.”

“You don’t even want to be an imperial consort because you don’t have the confidence to gain his heart, is that what you mean!”

The Duke of Marigold was beside himself with anger.

“How can you return kindness with ingratitude!”

Sotis responded with a piercing shriek.

“You can’t gain a person’s heart the way you wield their weakness freely, Father!”

“Is that so?”

The duke’s grip on her shoulders became more powerful. The joints of his hands turned white and the veins that popped up were blue.

Sotis lowered her gaze and bit her lip until it tingled. She was so afraid that even breathing became laborious. Her head spun in circles.

“Then you can jolly well sit there like how you would usually do! I’ll tell you the imperial family’s disgrace, so seize the emperor with that!”

“Disgrace…”

“Very well.”

The duke’s eyes glistened dangerously. His greed was blatantly visible within his eyes, which made Sotis feel awfully frightened. Even the fact that she inherited the exact same eyes felt like a horrible lie.

The previous Emperor and Empress’ disgrace. The secret that made the duke’s eldest daughter the empress.

Pandora’s box, which she was unwilling and willing to listen to at the same time, was opened by the duke.

The whispers of a snake entered her ear piercingly.

“Listen well, Edmund Lez Setton Mendez isn’t the previous Emperor’s biological son. He’s a child that the Empress brought from the outside.”

Sotis’ face turned as white as a sheet.

“T,…that’s, what… Father, please. Just saying that could cause the entire family to be exterminated…”

“Even if Edmund hits me in the neck, he wouldn’t be able to refute that it’s a false rumour. I have all the evidence in my hands! Think about it. His golden hair and black eyes. Even his looks and arrogant personality! Was there anything that resembled the previous Emperor?”

The Duke’s words were frighteningly true. Edmund’s face was a carbon copy of the previous Empress’s. Edmund didn’t share any resemblance to the previous Emperor, who had brown hair and blue eyes, and held the previous Empress as dear as his life.

Sotis was unable to breathe, and the duke continued while shaking her shoulders.

“Edmund is also aware of this. Unlike his younger brother, Abel, he didn’t inherit Mendez’s bloodline! As such, he has to hide that fact in order to become the emperor, and for that to happen, he can’t refuse my offer. How about it? The request to make you the empress was a modest price to pay in comparison with the weight of the secret that I know.”

“……”

The daughter of the person that possesses a secret denying his existence. Sotis felt a boiling ache at her chest and closed her eyes tightly.

How much he must have hated her. How much he must have wanted to tear her and her father into pieces and get rid of them from his line of sight. He wanted the position of emperor that much, but how stifled and resentful he must have been when a dangerous person capable of dragging him down sat right next to him.

Even his heartlessness seemed to make sense now. Sotis was uncontrollably heartbroken.

“I have given you the family’s most important secret.”

The Duke’s selfishness was easily transformed into a plausible denial for Sotis. Sotis closed her eyes, not having the energy to respond.

I want to disappear.

Although it hasn’t even been ten days since she returned from that impulse, she wanted to be scattered like powder and become as transparent as the wind.

“But you, you can’t even suppress that feeble-minded temperament of yours, and say things like you hate the emperor’s cold treatment, and you’re tired of the contempt from others…”

If only I could disappear.

“Look at your sister Cheryl and learn! Even after marrying into a rich family, she continues to live with her husband in her grasp. You haven’t even set a date for the imperial consort’s conferment ceremony, and blame everything on that weak body of yours. If you can’t gain Edmund’s heart, you can just take this card and whisper it in his ear right now. If you aren’t conferred as an imperial consort, I’ll scatter the evidence all over the streets instantly!”

If only, I, could disappear.

“Father…”

Before Sotis knew it she was crying. Tears began to flow down her cheeks incessantly. Unable to lift a hand like a broken doll, Sotis could only be shaken by the duke, while uttering the same words to herself without any other thoughts.

If only I could disappear. If only I could disappear. If only I could disappear.

If I didn’t exist from the very beginning, everything would be fine, right?

Cheryl would like it as becoming the empress would keep up her appearance, and her greedy younger sister will take full advantage of Edmund’s weaknesses, which she was informed of by their father. She wouldn’t want to disappear like Sotis did. No, for all she knew, perhaps Edmund would pretend to be unaware and love Cheryl. Whenever she was timid, whenever she bowed her head before him, Edmund behaved like it was even more terrible.

The Duke of Marigold would be quite delighted to see his daughter acting satisfactorily. He would be proud that the Duchy’s status is rising day by day.

The scene, which would have been perfect if she wasn’t present, seemed to be clearly visible in front of her eyes.

“Sotis. Stop crying like a nuisance, and take some measures…!”

The moment the Duke grabbed Sotis and shook her violently, a dark shadow appeared before Sotis’ eyes.

Her hopelessly shaking body miraculously stopped.

“What do you think you’re doing right now!”

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