If Only I Could Disappear - Chapter 20

Time seemed to move slowly and quickly at the same time.

Everyone that was concerned about Sotis Marigold told her not to overdo it unanimously, but she couldn’t do that easily.

“Lady Sotisssss.”

Sotis was practically buried in a pile of documents, and burst into laughter at the sound of Marianne’s voice, who always dragged out the end of her words whenever she complained.

“……Please give me a moment. Can you play one more song, Marianne?”

“That’s about the seventh time you’ve said that. It’s already been an hour! Didn’t you agree to go on a walk with me? And…”

Marianne’s cheeks puffed up and continued to question her closely.

“The Wizard from Beatum! Has clearly said! Lady Sotis absolutely! Mustn’t! Overexert herself! He’d asked me! To take care of you! He’d entrusted that task! To me!”

“That’s…”

“In Lady Sotis’ eyes! Things like our worries! Didn’t matter!”

“……W, who said that it didn’t matter…… Did I do that? I was just…”

“Even better, the matter that you’re dealing with now is the decoration of Finnier Rosewood’s Imperial Consort’s Palace, and for the baby……”

Sotis sprang to her feet and cut off Marianne’s dissatisfied voice.

“Let’s go for a walk!”

Sotis said that there were things she wanted to ascertain with her own eyes and brought a few reports along, but Marianne glared at her, snatched away everything that she was holding, placed it down on the table, and linked their arms.

“The duke hasn’t reprimanded you again since then, has he?”

“……Although he came once more, he was quieter than I’d expected. He told me to focus on recovering my heart and wait for the imperial consort’s conferment ceremony while handling as much of the empress’ affairs as possible.”

Hoping that she would recover her health wasn’t spoken out of concern for Sotis. The duke probably wanted Sotis to have a child of Edmund’s at least. If that happens, Edmund will place Sotis in the position of an imperial consort no matter how much he hates her, and the baby that was born will serve as an uninterrupted bridge that connects the Duke of Marigold with Mendez’s imperial family.

Besides, didn’t they have an unimaginable connection with the Beatum royal family? Even if that wasn’t the case, they could form a connection with a wizard.

The Duke of Marigold was rather dissatisfied with the ambiguous situation, but he had no choice but to endure it for now.

Sotis also didn’t want to stand up to the duke, who was no different from a time bomb-like, so she tried to please him as much as possible. She completed all the documents he brought her, even if she had to drag them into the bedroom. She tried her best to swallow whatever she was given, no matter how bitter the medicine was, and partook in meals in a timely manner.

In the end, her actions became the final barrier that prevented the Mendez Imperial family from embroiling into further turmoil. It was because Edmund, who completely neglected state affairs after his marriage to the imperial consort, and Finnier, who was idled endlessly because she was with child, didn’t seem to care about how the Mendez Empire functioned.

“I’m really fine, Marianne.”

“……”

Marianne seemed to be really sullen and didn’t even reply to Sotis’s words. She tilted her head downwards slightly and looked at Marianne, but the copper haired woman turned her head without giving Sotis a glance.

“Marianne.”

“……”

“Marianne?”

“……”

“Marie.”

Marianne sighed like she was dying of sadness.

“You don’t know how much the wizard and I worry about you, do you, Lady Sotis?”

“I know.”

“You wouldn’t do this if you knew. Honestly, Lady Sotis, you’re really heartless at times like this.”

“……”

“I know. Only this way will Lady Sotis’ position not worsen any further. Lord Lehman said that the Duke is holding it in because of his presence, and that

The fact that the Duke is holding it in because Lehman is around, and that the aristocrats in the Imperial Consort’s faction will do everything to drive you out if you aren’t this busy… And…”

Marianne added dejectedly.

“Truthfully, my father is tired of protecting the border region, and will take this opportunity to antagonise you, saying you’re an outsider.”

“…….”

“Are fathers originally the type to disregard their daughters’ feelings?”

“Well…”

“I really don’t know why apologising is always my responsibility. I really like Lady Sotis, and I feel like I’m swallowing down a stone every time a reason that compels you to hate me appears. I’ve always led my life as the daughter of the Marquis of Rosewood blissfully, but these days I’m so ashamed of this name.”

When Marianne sobbed, Sotis panicked and dried the corners of her friend’s eyes with her long sleeve.

“I’m fine.”

“Lady Sotis, you’ve said that you’re alright a thousand times already. What kind of problem will make you not alright? Even when that hateful His Majesty Edmund treats you badly…”

“It’s because I’m really alright. And don’t ever say those words at the main palace, understood?

“…….”

The sharply pointed cat-like eyes narrowed into slits. Even though she was so dissatisfied that she was about to die, she had to endure it when she looked at Sotis’ face.

Sotis smiled affectionately and stroked Marianne’s hair.

“Even so, haven’t the voices that criticised me for occupying a position ill-befitting of me disappeared? It became a little more comfortable as all the things that have been delayed have been completed, and an absent-minded empress would remain.”

“Haah…”

Seeing how Marianne was about to argue again, Sotis quickly added.

“……I, I like working. It’s quite rewarding… Resting for a month is a little…”

“Soti!”

“I’m sorry, Marie…….”

Marianne kept sighing without being able to continue nagging at the sight of her forced smile.

Ever since Sotis was young, she was unable to speak harshly to others, assumed heavy responsibilities, and as if enduring a marriage without feelings wasn’t enough, the news that Sotis’ soul had separated from her body caused Marianne’s heart to break. To think that the woman that pushed Sotis out of her position and took her place by saying that she was with child was Marianne’s father’s illegitimate daughter.

Marianne didn’t know what caused her father, who’d always denied Finnier Rosewood’s existence the entire time, to wear out the wheels of the carriage he took to the capital in order to show up at the meeting. Her mother kept thumping her chest and stamping her feet, saying that she was ashamed of Rosewood’s name.

To make matters worse, the new imperial consort Fynn was overly lazy and only had interest in spending money, and ever since the emperor met Fynn, he has even disregarded state affairs. In other words, Sotis was once again bearing all those responsibilities and grunting from the effort.

Stupid Sotis.

Foolish Sotis.

Even so, when she knew how many people that kindness had saved, Marianne couldn’t even bear to tell her to stop.

“Well, my mother’s birthday is approaching, so I have to head down to the Rosewood estate for a while next week.”

“I see. Please have a safe trip. The rumours these days have been terrible, so don’t take a remote path, and bring enough maids with you. I’d greatly appreciate it if you could also deliver my present to the Marquis of Rosewood.”

Her own situation itself was complicated enough for her head to explode, but Sotis worried over Marianne’s safety like it was but a matter of course.

Marianne blinked her green eyes and gave a slight smile.

“I will. That’s why, from next week onwards, I won’t be able to see you for a period of time. You’ll meet me often, right?”

Those words were telling her not to overdo it with work and have fun with her.

As Sotis laughed and said, “Of course I will.”

“Excuse me, Lady Sotis.”

An unfamiliar maid that entered the empress’ palace bowed deeply in greeting. She wore a clean and white apron over a long black skirt and seemed to be a sundry maid that assisted with minor chores.

“My apologies, but Her Highness Finnier has requested for you to come to the detached palace.”

Marianne’s eyes narrowed again.

“What did you just say?”

“……I’m sorry. I was told that I must accompany you…”

Now that she has become an imperial consort, she should already have dedicated handmaidens, but she sent a sundry maid that washed the blankets and received the water for washing up.

Even if Sotis was deposed and is staying in the empress’ palace, it was clear disregard for her. The sundry maid, who was well aware of that fact, kept her head bowed like she didn’t know when her neck would roll.

Ever since Fynn entered the Imperial Palace, she has never called Sotis or expressed interest in meeting. Although she had snooped around the empress’ palace a few times, her intentions were unknown and she returned without much resistance, so they only knew that she came to survey the situation.

“Yes.”

When Sotis released the arm that was linked with Marianne’s the entire time, Marianne opened her mouth like she found it unbelievable.

“Are you really going over? You aren’t, are you?”

“There’s no reason for me to refuse, Marianne.”

Unfortunately, Sotis’ words were the truth. She wasn’t the empress, and Finnier Rosewood was an imperial consort. While it was difficult to say that etiquette was adhered to, it was also bad form to refuse without a proper reason.

Perhaps Fynn intended to demean Sotis in this manner. All of this was to dismiss Sotis as a deposed empress that could be easily invited over by a maid, and was beneath discussion. The appearance of Sotis following a maid to the western detached palace would become a topic of discussion for many people.

“There’s a piano song that I’d like to listen to tomorrow morning.”

“……I, for Lady Sotis……”

Marianne, who was about to act petty, made an expression like she was on the verge of tears.

“……I will come to the empress’ palace as soon as the sun rises tomorrow, Lady Sotis.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll count down from 30 in my heart, so hurry up and go. If you’re still beside me even after I’ve finished counting to 0, I’ll take you and go off.”

Sotis gave a slight smile and gestured at the maid.

It was her first time leaving the empress’ palace in a while. As she moved along the familiar yet new path, the sun began to set in the west, its rays gently shining down on the back of her head. When the final sunlight of the day dyed the building red, the dark shadow beneath her slow steps slowly slanted.

Soon, Sotis Marigold entered a small detached palace that didn’t have a single blooming flower. This place didn’t have any hints of life and seemed rather rough, as though it was a painting made with thick coats of paint.

“Your Highness Fynn. Lady Sotis has arrived.”

A voice that’s as arid as the detached palace’s scenery rang out from beyond the closed door.

“Come on in.”

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