If Only I Could Disappear - Chapter 27

“I… Was what happened just now alright?”

After Edmund left with a seemingly angered countenance, Lehman asked awkwardly.

Sotis looked up at the drawing room’s window from the garden with widened eyes and stared at Lehman with her unique warm smile.

She soon burst into laughter.

“Haha, ahaha. Is that what you’re worried about? It was rather fantastic. Thanks to His Majesty, I’d even managed to see a new side of you, Lord wizard. I was a little amazed, and a little envious. I’ll get nervous habitually when I’m in front of His Majesty Edmund.”

“About that… As much as possible, I didn’t want to cause trouble, even if it’s for the sake of Lady Sotis’ position. However, if he treats me condescendingly, it will harm the honour of Lady Sotis, who treats me as a distinguished guest.”

“Ah…”

“Please do inform me if you’re in trouble because of me. First of all, putting that aside…”

Lehman smiled innocently and gestured towards Sotis, like he was signalling for her to come back in quickly.

“Let’s continue with our planning. You said that it’ll be your first time outside the Imperial castle, and so you’ll need to be fully prepared. It’ll be great if there’s someone that could show you around, but… It probably isn’t a good idea to ask Marianne, right?”

She smiled faintly and nodded.

Before Edmund arrived, the both of them faced each other while searching for a way to solve Mendez’s problem. Lehman said that he’ll probably have to ascertain the matter with his own two eyes, and Sotis informed him that some cases of unknown cause occurred not too far from the Imperial castle and stated that they had to resolve them quickly.

She’d never imagined that she would leave this small and warm empress’ palace, and so, Sotis’s heart pounded when the topic was mentioned. When they sat facing each other and chatted without realising that their tea was getting cold, she was as excited as a child that was promised a spring picnic.

However, as Sotis entered the drawing room, her mind became slightly calmer than before Edmund’s arrival. It’s because the anxiety that had occupied a corner of her mind suddenly reared its head and flaunted its presence.

What if Lehman was troubled?

Edmund’s opinion of Lehman seemed rather low. This was still the case, even though he wasn’t unaware of the benefits of establishing a friendly relationship with Beatum’s wizard. At the bottom of those irrational feelings, feelings towards Sotis must have been present. From a long time ago, Edmund has hated whatever Sotis did, and it’s unlikely that it was different this time round.

Moreover, solving the people’s problems was something that she ought to do after becoming Crown Princess Sotis, and not Empress Sotis. According to his acceptance, he might think that she was stealing the imperial family’s honour by fulfilling the imperial family’s responsibility in their place. Of course, it would become troublesome politically if the Duke of Marigold turned his back on the emperor, though this was unlikely.

Sotis didn’t want Lehman to become involved in all of these complexities. He was just staying out of goodwill and cooperated for the people’s sake. He told Edmund that his benefactor was suffering something meaningless all because of him, but Sotis thought the opposite.

Perhaps she was using his goodwill to fulfil her sense of ethics.

Sotis felt an acute sense of guilt, and placed her hand on her chest with a frown.

“Lehman, I…”

Sotis, who was seated opposite of him, repeatedly clenched and unclenched the hand on her knee with a difficult expression.

As such, he smiled like he’d taken a peek into her thoughts.

“It’s alright.”

“…You know what I’m worried about?”

“Lady Sotis is very kind, so I’m sure that you’re more worried about me than yourself. Right?”

“…….”

“That’s why I’m saying that it’s alright. I’m fine with anything, so I want to help you, and as long as Lady Sotis doesn’t refuse my goodwill, I’m satisfied.”

“Still…”

“Beatum’s wizard is rather prideful. With strong power, duties and responsibilities that correspond to it will have to be undertaken. When I first gained the power to gaze into souls and guide them, I vowed to devote my entire life into guiding all the souls in the world towards the right path. As such, it’s my duty to help Sotis, and at the same time it’s an honour of mine.”

“But there’s nothing I can give you as a reward, despite the assistance you’ve rendered. While the Marigold Duchy is affluent, I don’t own it. That’s because most of the assets were earned by my sister, Cheryl, through marriage. Moreover, as you’re aware, rather than honour, the Empress of Mendez has long been used as a symbol of dishonour.”

He answered unhesitatingly.

“If I wanted money, I wouldn’t have remained in the magic tower and studied magic or pretended to be a traveller as I walked around. Instead, I would have travelled abroad as a diplomatic envoy, and asked for a fortune in return for solving their problems.”

Lehman smiled as Sotis pouted silently.

“If I wished to gain the respect of others, I wouldn’t have hidden my own existence. I didn’t do this because all of this was difficult and I found it novel.”

“…In that case, Lehman, does pride move you?”

“Yes, I’d only move as my heart directs me to. Hence, I’m freer than anyone else. If I didn’t take action for myself, it’s definitely because I’ve seen others’ sincerity, which is as strong as my own.”

“……”

Lehman, who said he didn’t want anything from Sotis and moved according to his will and honour, revealed a flawless smile.

As she looked at his clear and sparkling amber eyes, Sotis felt the guilt that had hardened like a stone in her heart melt away and vanish. Just like a chunk of ice that had been melted like the sunlight after the end of a long winter, it disappeared without a trace.

So there were people like this.

A person that didn’t harbour any expectations from her, and understood her true feelings.

“It’ll be hard to leave immediately, as there are various preparations that’s required. Now that you’re officially divorced, you don’t have to report everything to His Majesty Edmund, but I don’t want to create tiring situations for Lady Sotis either… It wouldn’t be a bad idea to meet and talk to His Majesty once more, at the very least.”

“Then…… when would be a good time?”

“Roughly ten days should do, right? That much would be enough for the both of us to prepare.”

“Very well.”

Sotis’ water-coloured eyes twinkled as her worries disappeared before she knew it. She had already begun thinking about how she should spend those ten days well, the things she should look into more closely, and how to persuade Edmund.

Lehman looked into her brightened face and spoke quietly.

“I have a condition, Lady Sotis.”

Sotis made a rather shocked expression.

“……A condition, you said?”

She looked like a child that had just been robbed of a candy she’d barely managed to obtain. She was a few years older than him, and was always calm and mature, so he didn’t think that she could make such an expression.

Lehman held back the urge to laugh and answered quite seriously.

“Yes, please listen to me.”

“I—I’ll do my best. What is it?”

“Lady Sotis, you have to become much healthier than you are currently.”

She blinked at his unexpected words.

“We don’t know what will happen outside the Imperial castle. It’s not like we can bring along the maids of the empress’ palace. There will be times when you have to hide the fact that you’re Young Lady Marigold, so you must be fully prepared.”

His voice sounded very stern. Sotis nodded reflexively.

“I suppose so…”

“Your soul is less uneasy than it used to be, but it isn’t in a reassuring state yet. In addition, I’m concerned about the new ‘flow’ that the vitality sorcerers that Marianne brought in had mentioned. Perhaps the fusion between the body and soul is incomplete. As such, you have to pay attention to your health for the next ten days.”

You have to be healthy.

Sotis marvelled at the warmth those words contained as she stared at Lehman for a moment.

The reasons that many people have told Sotis Marigold and Sotis Marigold Mendez that she ‘should be healthy’ were extremely varied, and quite valid. If she, who was born with a weak body, can’t even have a baby, there wouldn’t be a successor for the Mendez Empire. And when the Duke of Marigold, who was waiting for this news, became hopping mad, the doctors that took care of Sotis would all land into a predicament.

As such, there were many that told Sotis she has to be healthy until their mouths have worn out. Each time her frail health was mentioned, Sotis would become endlessly small, as though all of it was due to her carelessness and insincerity. Those harsh nagging didn’t really seem to be spoken for her sake, so she just became gloomier and sadder.

But Lehman was different. He was only thinking about Sotis’ safety and happiness. His warmth was unshakable, and filled with pure concern for her.

His heart shone brightly, like the sun.

Without much hesitation, Sotis answered in a determined voice.

“I will.”

Lehman asked with a bright smile.

“Are you sure you’re capable of it?”

“……Of course!”

* * *

Ever since then, Sotis Marigold led her days more ardently than anyone else.

Firstly, she increased her food intake greatly, and she would take walks around the empress’ palace or read a book while standing after meals. She also learned how to cook simple dishes or sew torn clothes from the maids.

When Marianne spotted embroidery in the shape of a butterfly on a rarely used handkerchief, she lifted the light purple handkerchief and let out a sigh of admiration.

“Wow. You’re so skilled, Lady Sotis. Well, you didn’t really like being served by others unless it was necessary, did you?”

“No matter what, it’s quite a hassle. I want to do something that I could do by myself. Although meals are a little difficult… I feel gratified at the sight of my skills improving. Even though it isn’t for something good, I’m going outside the Imperial capital, so I wanted to prepare a lunch box personally.”

“A lunch box?”

“…is it strange?”

“Oh, no, it’s not that…….”

It wasn’t anything strange or bad. No, on the contrary, it’s great. As Marianne thought so, she nodded her head.

Sotis had never been outside of the Imperial capital proper, and was showing willingness instead of fear towards the outside world.

It was a golden opportunity for her to expand her world. Marianne had waited a long time for this moment. If only someone could unhesitatingly accomplish something that she couldn’t do as a friend.

But Sotis seemed much happier than she’d expected. Perhaps it’s because Lehman was her companion. Not anyone else, but it just had to be him.

In that case…

“Lady Sotis.”

Marianne pondered for a moment, then asked with a determined expression.

“Do you like the Lord wizard?”

* * *