If Only I Could Disappear - Chapter 36

Apparently, people in the slums have been encountering sightings of ‘ghosts’ or similar phenomena recently.

It was different from the dead simply appearing in dreams. According to them, the houses that experienced ghostly appearances didn’t just experience purely unlucky incidents, but peculiar misfortunes.

“……They said that entire families have died for no apparent reason.”

“Could it have been the plague, Lady Sotis? Since there aren’t any physicians here, it’s possible for their illnesses to worsen to the point of no return.”

“But didn’t they say that the people living in the house across the street had also died without knowing the reason. Apparently, a child kept appearing in their dreams.”

“Hmm…”

There weren’t any shortage of lamentations from the people. They learned not only about the inefficient relief efforts for the poor that had been carried out in Mendez, but also the uncomfortable truth about how the Marigold Duchy had been exploiting people without permission to build a castle in the land they’d bought near the capital.

However, there wasn’t any time to be disappointed by those facts. Behind the people that died without a reason, witnesses would always follow with testimonies of their unjust deaths, questionable accidents, and incomprehensible phenomena.

“We don’t even have the money to hold funerals. We can only be grateful that those that have passed on wouldn’t feel any more pain. If we leave them in the back alleys or bury them, rats, insects, and packs of wild dogs will devour them. Perhaps we would end up the same way.”

Sotis mulled over the words of the child that begged for bread.

“Those that have died unfairly, what would happen to their spirits… if they couldn’t even receive a proper funeral?”

Lehman answered with a worried tone.

“When they are unable to rest in peace, they will be consumed by resentment and determination, and wander around here. Once the spirits start to suffer in that way, there is almost no way to reverse it. Especially if the deceased’s body wasn’t properly handled. They need to be completely buried, or cremated at least.”

He took out a book from his luggage and checked its contents thoroughly before adding.

“Magic to completely restore a deranged spirit is both complex and difficult. Even in Beatum, only some of the Great Wizards can use magic related to that.”

Sotis gave him a smile pregnant with meaning and tilted her head.

“If it’s some of the Great Wizards…”

Lehman’s amber eyes curved gently. It was because he realised the hidden meaning in her question.

“My master said that. I’d learnt it too, but I’m still not proficient at it. I specialise in the class of magic beneath that. I’m able to briefly communicate with lost souls and show them the right direction, so that they can return on their own.”

“I see.”

“I hope that I won’t have to use the magic written in this spellbook. It’s because it contains magic to destroy broken spirits.”

Sotis nodded and flipped through her notebook, lost in thought.

According to the child’s words, the deceased were either abandoned or buried in the back alleys. It seemed like the bodies were gathered in a place that was not a proper cemetery.

“So, we need to meet the spirits, talk to them, and find their bodies to give them a proper funeral, right?”

“That’s the most effective way. Do you have any idea where they might be?”

“A little.”

She extended her notebook towards Lehman, pointing to the part he should look at carefully.

Sotis and Lehman recalled the stories they’d previously heard from the people of the slums.

“Do you see that barren mountain over there? A huge fire occurred when I was young, and the entire mountain was destroyed by the fire. Since then, no one goes there anymore. It’s the epicentre of all the eerie rumours. They say you can hear the sound of someone’s wailing every night…”

“Yeah. Even the few houses that used to be there turned into haunted ruins. Who would live in a place like that?”

“Who else? Isn’t the caretaker still alive?”

“Oh, you mean the gravekeeper. But even he…”

“Right, you see? Anyone living in that kind of a place must be crazy!”

Stories about the barren mountain, sounds of wailing, gravekeeper, and people going mad.

The both of them looked at each other and nodded, gesturing to a word in the notebook.

Gravekeeper.

If they locate him, perhaps they’d be able to hear stories in further detail. He was the only one living on the mountain, and according to the people, he has also been experiencing strange occurrences recently.

“Sister, are you going to meet the gravekeeper?”

It seemed like they’d overheard their muttered conversation while standing on the roads for a while. The street urchins came closer, their eyes shining.

“Is the Lord wizard also going?”

“To that mountain?”

“Why are you going there? Even people from the slums wouldn’t go near that place. Nobody here wants more misfortune to befall upon them.”

“Mom said that Sister is the precious young lady from a noble family, so why aren’t you returning to your mansion and staying with us beggars instead?”

“I heard that Mister gravekeeper is the one that’s truly destitute.”

Sotis bent down and faced the children with a smile.

“Why is the gravekeeper destitute?”

“Well, isn’t it because he spends all his time with the dead instead of the living? Whenever there’s an epidemic, and people outside the capital die in rows, the strong people would gather the corpses on a cart and leave them near the barren mountain. Then, the gravekeeper will take care of them.”

The children became excited when Sotis treated them kindly.

“I’ve been there before! Well, I saw it from a distance and ran away. He lived in a house that’s built from the leftover wood that’s used to make coffins. He was hunched over like this, and used something like a walking stick to flip the bodies around…”

“He was always a bit strange. But there’s a rumour going around these days, about how he’s gone truly crazy. Sister, please don’t go. Something terrible might happen.”

“Yeah. We can’t help you then. What if you become possessed by a ghost or something?”

She chuckled and shook her head.

“It’s alright. Someone has to step forward and solve this problem. That way, the spirits that had departed unfairly can rest in peace, right?”

“Why does it have to be you, Sister?”

“Right. His Majesty the Emperor doesn’t care, and the nobles wouldn’t step up either. Mom said that before. The emperor and the nobles would even prefer it if we all died, as the streets would become much cleaner. As such, they don’t care if we starve to death or die of illness…”

“No, that’s not true!”

Sotis cut off the children with a sharp exclamation.

There was no way that was true. Even if she couldn’t fully grasp the lives of the impoverished, and even if her compassionate heart might just be learned behaviour.

Every single life was valuable, and there wasn’t anyone that deserved to die. Regardless of whether the person was useful or not. At least, that’s what Sotis wanted to believe. She had to believe that.

Otherwise, Sotis Margold, who wasn’t the empress, would be nothing more than an existence that ought to be eradicated.

Impulsively, she told the children.

“T—The truth is, I’ve come as a messenger of the Empress’s. Her Majesty the Empress wishes for the suffering of the poor in the capital to end. She knew about the unsettling rumours and to resolve them…”

“Sister, you’re saying that you’re sent by the Empress?”

The children’s eyes widened as they questioned her.

“Lies! The deposed Empress wouldn’t care about people like us!”

“Yeah! She might have been called a good person, but we’ve never met her once. She’d never come to check on us even when we were all starving to death! Was she really even working for us?”

“It’s probably just a power struggle! Don’t aristocrats engage in that kind of thing everyday?”

The children’s words pierced Sotis’s heart sharply.

And there wasn’t any falsehood in their words. As she couldn’t find any counter arguments, she remained silent while her heart throbbed painfully.

Because she was busy, because she was unable to leave Edmund’s side, or because of her frail health… As she hid behind a variety of reasons, the thought of how her meagre acts of kindness appeared to them without directly experiencing the lives of these people caused her breath to catch in her throat.

“No, that’s not true.”

Lehman stepped forward calmly and blocked Sotis from view.

“Her Majesty the Empress’s health was frail, but she was different from other nobles. She never wished for the poor to just die or suffer, nor did she hope for the lost souls to torment the living.”

“How can we believe that?”

“Yeah!”

“Well, does the person you’re talking about seem like the other aristocrats? Or, is there anything different about her?”

The children exchanged looks among themselves. They held the bread that Sotis had given away in their grubby little hands.

The bread was bought with money she’d obtained selling ruby earrings.  It was the first gift that Edmund reluctantly gave her when she became the crown princess. The jewellery, which didn’t contain any sort of sincerity, turned into something more valuable as they held her sincerity.

Sotis clasped her hands together and waited for the children’s response.

“No, she doesn’t.”

“She never called us dirty like the other nobles… and she gave us bread too.”

“Yeah, and she gave us bread everyday. Other nobles would never spend such large amounts of money on us.”

“She didn’t even send us on errands. She was also worried about the dead people.”

“Come to think of it, she is different.”

“Sister, does the Empress really care about people like us?”

She hesitated, unable to respond immediately.

Could she still claim that her concern for her homeland and its people was genuine when there were times that her life was so difficult that she couldn’t even take care of herself?

“Of course.”

Before Sotis could reply, Lemon, who had been standing in front of her, responded to the children. He reached a hand backwards and held Sotis’s hand carefully.

He continued in a gentle yet firm voice.

“Her Majesty the Empress is a very kind person. You’ll also be surprised when you see her. She’s a gentle and warm-hearted person.”

Sotis looked down at his hand, which was enveloping hers, quietly. Even though she was just looking at it, a warm and ticklish sensation welled up in her chest.

“The sun will set soon. Since the skies look overcast, you children should go hide from the rain in a sheltered place. I’ll have to accompany the young lady to the barren mountain.”

The children nodded and scattered, holding their remaining bread preciously.

Sotis held Lemon’s hand quietly until the children had completely disappeared.

“Shall we go now? Spirits would usually move after the sun sets, so it’s best if we meet the gravekeeper tonight.”

“But the path will be quite dark…”

“I’ll use magic to light the way. It should be fine.”

She nodded and walked alongside him slowly.

His hand was gentle and warm.

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