If Only I Could Disappear - Chapter 39

Sotis brightened up.

It had barely been half a month since she left the palace. Of which, it had been less than five days since she’d found proper lodging. She’d experienced hardships that she would never have encountered.

However, as the days went by, Sotis’s expression brightened. She seemed like a completely different person from the one that collapsed after Edmund declared that he would confer his mistress the title of Imperial Consort.

The people began to accept the mysterious woman’s kindness. Though she had experienced numerous difficulties, her willpower overcame all of their suffering.

Even the old man that doubted her intentions, the young man that suspected that poison was contained within her bread, and the young children that debated on where her father was a duke or a count, they all began returning her smile with awkward ones unknowingly.

Her kindness was pure. She reached out to those in need and gave them what they needed the most. She never asked for anything in return and didn’t make any deals. After offering her kindness as she pleased, she left without hesitation.

Would such a love even exist in this world?

Even those that were habitually suspicious found themselves following Sotis’s silhouette with their eyes. They thought she was someone ridiculous, but they didn’t want to miss the bread that she offered.

In truth, they looked forward to it. They’d hoped for someone like her to appear. For someone that’s like a character from fairy tales to come to life. For that sun to change their lives completely.

“Rather than a funeral, this is more like a feast…”

“It looks like the food you’d find at a festival.”

The crowd gathered in the square were dumbfounded. They couldn’t believe their eyes as they looked at the table overflowing with the most glorious and sumptuous dishes they’d never encountered in their lifetime.

Everyone’s eyes bulged, and their jaws almost dropped, yet the ones behind this lavish feast, Sotis and Lehman, lit the candles on the table nonchalantly.

“I need more money.”

Sotis said as she gazed at the candlelight flickering in the breeze.

“I sold all the jewels I had for this funeral. Although I’d left the palace and achieved the goal I had… If I just return like this, my help will vanish without a trace. The people will become poor again, and the children will go hungry.”

“What do you plan to do then?”

Lehman knelt on a mat, opened his spellbook and began preparing the necessary items. Golden pencils, a few sparkling potions, and the pouch filled with butterflies neatly arranged before him.

“I need to lay the foundation for them to survive on their own.”

Sotis spoke firmly.

“I need a lot more money.”

“A few jewels won’t be enough for the things they need, Lady Sotis.”

“I know.”

She felt the gazes of the people around them.

She couldn’t be fully responsible for these people’s lives. It was a difficult task even for the empress, let alone a divorced woman like her. Moreover, Sotis didn’t have the obligation to do so.

However, she couldn’t turn a blind eye to this harsh reality. If it was because she was ignorant of her father’s misdeeds, she felt even more compelled to take responsibility. After all, it was Empress Sotis Marigold that empowered the Duke of Marigold.

So, they had to cultivate the land. She would provide the most basic things, and allow those with a will to create a path for themselves.

“I’m going to the Lectus merchant group.”

Sotis’s voice continued cheerfully. It was a voice that even contained a hint of playfulness, which was unusual for her.

“The head of the Lectus merchant group is the husband of my sister, Cheryl. Saying that he holds the capital’s economic power within his hands isn’t an exaggeration.”

“…Do you think he’ll help us?”

“It won’t be easy. The head is very skilled at calculating profits and losses. However, I don’t think it’s completely hopeless.”

“Why is that?”

Lehman, who had finished all the preparations, rose slowly. As he stood in the center of the magic circle, he held the pouch with both hands and mumbled something, and a soft amber-coloured light began emitting from him.

With her hands clasped behind her back, Sotis smiled from her position one step away from him.

“None of the merchants in the capital is outside of Lectus’s influence. However, they didn’t suspect me or do anything to verify my identity, even while buying valuable goods.”

“Either they know of Lady Sotis’s identity, or they don’t mind as long as it wouldn’t cause them any harm?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

This might also be dumb choice that prioritised others over her.

However, Sotis decided to give her best, even just once. She wanted to become someone’s hope. She no longer needed her empty reputation. Now, she truly wanted to accomplish something, not for herself but for the people.

If guiding lost souls to their final rest could satisfy her longing and serve as the foundation for her true ‘accomplishment’, then that would be enough.

She closed her mouth, like she’d continue this conversation later.

At that moment, a child amidst the gathered crowd whispered.

“Look at that….”

The funeral began amidst silence. It appeared to be a memorial service to honour the departed, but in reality, it was an event held to console those that were left behind.

Lehman, who was seated in front of the candles, held up the pouch carefully. From the gap, a shimmering rainbow-coloured light poured out. It merged with his magic and created a long, intangible rainbow-like path.

It was a sight unlike anything they’d seen before. It was so peculiar that people were rendered speechless at the awe-inspiring sight.

At this very moment, even those that claimed that souls were nothing but hollow shells could not deny the miraculous beauty before them.

“The souls of the departed are returning back to God’s embrace.”

“Will everyone be able to rest in peace?”

“I hope that my daughter is amongst them….”

The butterflies were not visible. Along with the stream of light that soared into the sky, Lehman’s eyes, which sparkled in a riot of colour, and the gentle breeze seemed to bless the paupers’ funeral.

However, Sotis saw it. She saw the shadow of butterflies fluttering their fragile wings as they followed the stream of light. It was a very faint outline, but the pair of neat wings clearly resembled the butterflies she’d seen in the mountains.

As she watched the souls finding peace, Sotis murmured.

“…A swarm of butterflies is going away.”

At Sotis’ murmur, Lehman turned around in surprise.

“You can see their souls?”

He looked genuinely astonished and stared at her bewilderedly.

“I didn’t use magic to manifest their souls, so you shouldn’t have been able to see the butterflies without having spiritual eyes.”

Those words caused Sotis to gaze into the sky in astonishment..

The magic scattered like it was an illusion. The clear sky was a glaring blue hue, and the people were casually sharing stories about the departed while sharing the food.

Sotis placed her hand on her chest. She felt her heart racing.

Was it just an illusion?

Something was changing.

But she couldn’t grasp what was changing.

* * *

Edmund Lez Setton Mendez felt vaguely that he was gradually becoming stranger. Yet, he was unable to pinpoint the cause of that change. Each day, he was overwhelmed by displeasure, and could only resort to vent his frustrations in secluded places.

In truth, he knew. Even if he couldn’t find a solution, he could easily identify the catalyst.

Ever since Sotis Marigold had walked completely out of his sight, Edmund had been entranced by an inexplicable feeling.

She was nothing more than a puppet. She may be smart, but she was just as dull. He thought that nothing would remain once he pushed her away, and as such, there wasn’t any sliver of doubt in his mind.

But still…

“Now that the divorce has been decided, I’ll tell you this. I used to like you, Your Majesty.”

Those words were like thorns that dug into him without letting him go.

It wasn’t merely because Sotis liked Edmund. He was the Emperor, and countless women had shown interest in him due to his power and looks. Among them, Sotis belonged to the category that failed to attract his attention.

However, what bothered him the most was the fact that all the humiliation she’d endured wasn’t because of her ambition for the empress position but due to those indistinct feelings.

She had never said a word of regret in her entire life, and acted as if she could withstand anything for the sake of the empire, but in her pursuit of that, left the palace so easily. Without his permission, at that.

She wasn’t a woman that was incapable of doing anything. She simply chose to do nothing.

Now that she had stopped liking him, she was practically a free bird. It was as though her feelings for him were shackles.

“Your Majesty.”

The chamberlain knocked on the door and called out to him. Edmund glanced at the wine glass before responding.

“Come in.”

“About the investigation you’d requested.”

“About the deposed Empress’s whereabouts?”

The chamberlain bowed his head and reported.

“The informant planted in the Lectus merchant group reported something unusual. Recently, they’d received a number of items that were made by artisans that only supplies to high-ranking nobles. The payment was received in cash only, and all of these events occurred in the eastern part of the capital. As it occurred near the slums, where they have the least noteworthy skills, this is an unusual occurrence.”

“And?”

He had asked for information about the deposed Empress’s whereabouts, but the report was unexpectedly mentioning jewels. Edmund gestured with his hand impatiently, urging him to continue.

“One of the items that surfaced in the market… it’s called ‘Goddess’s Apple Tree.’”

“What?”

It was a ruby earring that Edmund had given Sotis when she became the crown princess. It was the first gift he had given to her.

Although he didn’t really like her, Edmund was someone that still knew what duty was. A weak blessing spell was cast on the earring even.

It was prepared as a conciliatory measure so that Sotis, the future Empress, wouldn’t run amok—not that it was an appropriate expression for her, but still— after catching his weakness.

Despite knowing this, she’d sold it like it didn’t hold any significance anymore.

“…Haah.”

Just thinking about it made him feel frustrated. Exhaustion overcame him, making him let out a sigh.

“Alright. You may leave now.”

“Your, Your Majesty. Will you not discuss more with the contact in the Lectus merchant group?”

“Do I have to scrutinise every detail of where and how the item I’d gifted her was sold?”

“That’s not what I meant…”

He didn’t want to think about this any further. Edmund wanted to get rid of the vexing matter completely. In an irritated tone, he cut off the chamberlain’s response.

“I will go to the Imperial Consort. If it’s not urgent, don’t bother me until tomorrow comes.”