If Only I Could Disappear - Chapter 42

Thanks to the warm sunlight that spread everywhere, spring had fully arrived in the world.

Lehman and Sotis worked tirelessly, sweating profusely as they moved the supplies. They pulled the wagon loaded with food and farming tools without stopping, yet their faces never lost their smiles and energy.

Finally, Sotis collapsed onto the meadow, utterly exhausted and unable to take another step. Wrestling with a wheel stuck in a ditch since morning had drained her strength to the point where she couldn’t even lift a single potato anymore.

“It’s so tiring, Lehman.”

She spoke without shaking off her disarrayed clothes.

“I’m so tired and worn out. I’ve never walked this much in my entire life.”

Lehman, who sat next to Sotis, smiled softly.

“But you look really happy, Lady Sotis.”

“I am.”

She, who was regulating her breathing with closed eyes, suddenly opened them again and looked up at him with clear, water-coloured eyes.

“I’m happy. Every day is fun and rewarding. I can’t even explain how precious and wonderful this moment is. For this very moment……”

Sotis’s cheeks were flushed a rosy hue, and her light purple hair, which was scattered in all directions, was glistened like an exotic flower.

“……When I think about all those long years that I’ve endured within the palace, not a single moment feels unjust. Is it too odd that even enduring allows me to create this small miracle?”

She burst into laughter, her clear and bright voice fluttering along with the breeze.

Where else could one find a woman like her?

That’s what Lehman Periwinkle thought. It’s rare to find someone who can give everything they have for others and still find it in their heart to laugh. Not only did she move things day and night and curl up to sleep in an extremely shabby place, she also said that she genuinely enjoys the work.

Sotis Marigold was proving with all her might. The fact that her love wouldn’t destroy her. The possibility that her love would be wings and not shackles.

“I’ve never imagined that life could be so free like this.”

She spoke with an excited voice and smiled at Lehman. Whenever he saw that smile, Lehman felt a pleasant ache in his chest.

“That’s probably because you’re here with me, right?”

“……”

“Thank you, Lord wizard. Thank you for coming to see me. And for accompanying me like this.”

“I haven’t done anything.”

Lehman smiled embarrassedly.

“In the end, enduring through difficult times and thinking about what makes you happy, it was all your strength, Lady Sotis.”

“Everyone can’t draw on their inner strength at every single moment.”

Sotis grinned.

“You showed me the way.”

“……”

“I’m glad you’re here.”

He thought it was the warmth of the spring sun, but it turned out to be a blazing fire in his heart.

Lehman turned his head slightly and avoided eye contact. The sound of his heart pounding was so loud it was uncomfortable.

He’d almost replied unknowingly.

So am I.

So am I, Lady Sotis. I’m happy to have you, too. No, I like you.

When you smile, any sort of chill is overshadowed and it’s like spring in my heart all the time, and when you cry, everything in this world can’t help but become detestable.

I know how much sadness love has brought into your life, so I can’t bear to reveal these feelings, but I love you more than anyone else in the world.

“I wish this moment could last forever.”

She looked up at the sky and murmured.

“It’s fascinating, isn’t it? Time always flows at the same speed, but happy moments appear to be fleeting while unhappy moments feel like they last forever.”

After enjoying the spring for a while, she slowly rose to her feet.

“Even so, time keeps ticking. It’s time to go.”

“Already? We could rest a little longer…”

Sotis shouted enthusiastically.

“It isn’t too late to rest after we’ve given everything away!”

* * *

There were as many bad people as there were good people in the world. It was also an inevitable fate to meet those who disappointed people with deceit, hatred, and betrayal beyond doubt or distrust.

Life outside the palace wasn’t always smooth sailing.

Just as there were good people in the world, there were also plenty of bad ones. It was also unavoidable to meet disappointing people that went beyond suspicion and distrust to deception, hatred, and betrayal.

“Don’t be too upset, okay?”

Lehman’s expression was rather dark as he applied ointment to Sotis’s hand. She spoke consolingly.

“I was the fool that didn’t realise they were swindlers and still agreed to trade at a high price. But in order to build a vinyl greenhouse, wooden stakes are required and so I argued about that…”

“……”

When Lehman remained silent, Sotis gently rubbed the back of his hand with her uninjured one.

“When such things happen in the future, I’ll definitely go with you. I promise.”

“……Really?”

“Of course.”

Sotis withdrew her hand, assuring him that she was fine, and took a large bite of the sandwich he had made.

“I’ve learned a bit about how to be suspicious of others now, so I’m truly okay. Besides, you’ve been busy, too.”

Lehman closed his mouth awkwardly.

While she had been looking for the swindlers to argue about the rotten wooden stakes, Lehman had been guiding the lost spirits in the vicinity. Weak, trembling butterflies found their way back to their rightful places with Lehman’s guidance.

Spirits that have lost their way for too long would forget their true essence and turn into malevolent spirits. Therefore, Lehman’s work with these souls was of paramount importance, and Sotis didn’t want to disturb him.

“But…”

He broached the subject after a moment of consideration.

“The spirits have been saying some strange things. At first, I thought it was just because of their mood, so I let it pass, but it’s been repeated several times since then. It seems like there’s something unusual going on.”

Sotis’s expression turned serious as well.

“What have they been saying?”

“They mentioned that there’s some kind of enormous power that’s corrupting people.”

“An enormous power…”

“They also said it influences people to change, to become indifferent to their surroundings, and lose their direction in life.”

Lehman slowly mused over the stories the spirits had left behind.

“Chaos.”

“……”

“They call it Chaos.”

Sotis stared at Lehman’s face for a moment.

Was it just me? His expression seemed to have become very serious. No, describing it as serious wasn’t enough. The emotion that appeared on the wizard’s face was essentially fear, and close to repulsion and dread.

“Erm, Your Majesty the Empress.”

Before they could continue their conversation further, someone approached and called for Sotis. Lehman and Sotis, who had been sitting side by side in the cramped room, immediately jumped up.

“The person that’s accompanying you is a wizard…… Is that correct?”

“Yes, that’s right. Is there something you would like to request?”

Due to Lord Lectus’s request, she’d revealed her true identity to the people. Having already aided the people in the slums once, they’d accepted her presence without much hesitation.

This made it easier for her to introduce Lehman Periwinkle, the wizard from Beatum, to the world. Although the people were initially fearful of the wizard from a foreign country, they were quickly drawn to his kind heart.

Moreover, he was one of the few individuals who could resolve soul-related issues. Some of Mendez’s citizens even believed that Lehman’s abilities were a genuine way to communicate with certain beings.

“Well…”

This time, it was the same sort of situation. The people hesitated and stole a glance at Lehman.

“About the youngest child of the house with the red roof downhill. The child’s condition has improved after receiving some medicine recently, but a few days ago, she suddenly collapsed and hasn’t regained consciousness since…”

Sotis sensed a subtle strangeness in the residents’ words.

“Have you called for a doctor?”

In response, an elderly man stepped forward and answered.

“Well, I wouldn’t say I’m much of a doctor, but I’ve been working with herbs in this area for about thirty years. The child was born with a weak heart, and she required a lot of expensive herbs for her medicine. But thanks to the recent assistance from Her Majesty, the household was able to purchase some herbs.”

“So recently, the child has been taking her medicine regularly?”

“Yes, yes, that’s right. Her complexion has improved greatly, and if she continues taking the medicine, she might not live a perfectly healthy life, but she could live well without any danger to her life. But then, suddenly…”

The mother of the child, who had been hiding behind the apothecary, burst into tears. She was dressed in worn, patched clothes and bowed several times while explaining the situation to Sotis and Lehman.

“I’m so ashamed to ask such a favour to someone as esteemed as yourself. Please, take pity on our child and consider taking a look at her once. Even if I have to sell everything I own for her medicine, I won’t feel any regret or sorrow. But if this issue lies not in her body but in her soul… Your Majesty, and Lord wizard, this might be my last chance.”

Sotis suddenly remembered her own past.

She was the same. She was also born weak, but that wasn’t why she’d collapsed. It was simply because her soul had separated from her body.

Lehman had said it wasn’t a common occurrence. But just because it wasn’t common didn’t mean it couldn’t happen.

“Lehman.”

When Sotis quietly called him, Lehman looked at her with a warm smile.

“Will you come with me to take a look?”

There wasn’t a slightest hint of displeasure on his face. It wasn’t something related to his homeland, and there wasn’t a reward in it for him.

Whenever she thought of that fact, Sotis thought that just thanking him dozens of times wasn’t enough. He’d always found her kindness admirable and wondered when he would come to have the same love Sotis had, but in Sotis’s eyes, the wizard’s kindness that transcended national boundaries was more admirable.

“I’m always grateful to you.”

Lehman smiled warmly as he spoke.

“And this is also my joy.”