If Only I Could Disappear - Chapter 7

Finnier Rosewood was a beautiful woman who seemed to be made of sparks.

She was Edmund Lez Seton Mendez’s most beloved woman, and was distinctly different from any other woman that passed through his life.

“Fynn, I’ve always dreamed of a woman like you. Whenever I see you, my heart would become passionate like it was set ablaze. I believe that this truly is love.”

Whenever that happened, Fynn would make requests of the emperor frankly.

“Your Majesty, I do not believe in love that is only expressed with words. Things like that can’t even afford me a moment’s protection. Please bestow upon me the right to stay in this imperial castle, and show me Your Majesty’s sincerity with the most precious things.”

Edmund kissed Fynn’s red hair and whispered.

“You will not have to wear the same dress twice for the rest of your life. You can sleep in a bed carved out of gold, and pass time by choosing new jewellery everyday. I will gather all of your favourite flowers and birds in the central garden, and hold a banquet to show off your beauty on weekends.”

Fynn shook her head and answered firmly.

“If I wear a priceless dress, the noblewomen will deem me as a rich wh*re. When they see the jewels and the garden that was prepared for me, the maids will ridicule me, talking about His Majesty’s fickleness. The banquet hall will be filled with whispers of how I am the illegitimate daughter of Rosewood, the disgrace of the Margrave. Your Majesty, if you really love me, you should give me the power to keep it all from fading.”

“I already have something in mind. The marquis, who’d wanted to hide your existence, had his dirty linen revealed by the empress. Since you were acknowledged as his illegitimate daughter in exchange for our betrothal, I don’t intend to ignore it again. Rather, it’s great that it’s Rosewood, as the name is suitable enough for you to attain the position of imperial consort. Not only will I bestow upon you the position of consort, I will not spare the empress’ position if you give birth to a prince or a princess, so who would dare to insult you.”

Fynn burrowed into his arms and asked coquettishly with round eyes.

“But Her Majesty Sotis is already in that position.”

“She’s just an inflexible and gloomy woman.”

Edmund displayed his displeasure openly.

“It’s only a matter of time before she’s dragged down from there, Fynn. Even if it is Marigold, if his daughter has that huge of a flaw, he wouldn’t be of any threat. How long would she continue to be called the Empress beloved by the citizens?”

“……Flaw?”

“Yeah. When I caved and tried to embrace her, she would always be so tense. When she shrinks like she’s being r*ped, despite our status as a married couple, I got so sick and tired of it that I gave up. To think that she’d suddenly miscarry the child that came about after much difficulty, what kind of empress can she be when she’s bedridden…… Furthermore, she’d even fainted and remained on sickbed for a month at the news that you’re going to become an imperial consort.”

The emperor clicked his tongue and went on.

“Don’t miss this chance, Fynn. You have to become pregnant with my child and take that place away from her. I ought to divorce the empress that is always bedridden. I’ll send her back to the duchy. It wouldn’t be a bad choice for Sotis to let go of this loveless marriage and live freely.”

“Freedom…”

Fynn hugged Edmund tightly and gave a meaningful smile.

“I’d like that, Your Majesty. If that’s the case, please make me your empress.”

* * *

Finnier Rosewood saw Lehman Periwinkle.

From half a month ago, that man has been appearing at the central garden, where Fynn would take frequent walks in. He cut through that place and went somewhere diligently. He would go over daily when the sun shone down brightly in the sky, and return through the same path after an hour or two.

That route that Beatum’s wizard took was the shortest path from the accommodations of distinguished guests to the Empress’ Palace. He often went over with a cheerful face and returned with a sad face. There were times when he returned while crying, The man that looked at the ground with a gloomy face and dragged his feet seemed as though he was shouldering the world’s troubles by himself.

Lehman would occasionally pick flowers from the garden. He asked passing servants if he could take some of the flowers here cautiously, and asked if the empress liked or cared about anything in particular with reddened ears. When the servant said that he wasn’t too sure, his expression turned quite serious, and he walked amongst numerous flowers and chose them with careful consideration.

Did Sotis know Lehman? Fynn looked at him and mulled over it.

Lehman Periwinkle was a wizard of the Beatum Kingdom, and the master of the Periwinkle Tower, which oversees souls and life. Even though Beatum was only a small country, his reputation was as great as the king of that country, so even the arrogant Mendez imperial family couldn’t treat him carelessly.

Sotis was a quiet, passive woman who never made connections with others. Her only friend was said to be Marianne Rosewood, the sole daughter of the Marquis of Rosewood, but she was unexpectedly criticised due to Fynn’s appearance.

Fynn was curious about Lehman’s behaviour and headed to the Empress’ Palace. She wanted to know why he kept going in and out of Sotis’s living quarters.

“You can’t go in, Lady Fynn…….”

“We will be rebuked by the Duke of Marigold. Please cooperate.”

“You’re troubling us by how you keep coming here.”

At the maidservants that blocked her path, Fynn made a face of displeasure.

“Don’t you know that I’ll become an imperial consort in five days? Get out of my way before I tell His Majesty about this disrespect.”

The maid answered, on the verge of tears.

“Then please come over after five days, Lady Fynn. At that time, even if the Duke threw a fit, he wouldn’t dare disobey Your Highness, the Imperial Consort’s orders.”

The maid that served Sotis the longest added cautiously.

“We have no idea why Lady Fynn is coming here so oftenly. Even if we didn’t want to acknowledge it, Her Majesty is withering day by day. Lady Fynn will become Your Highness the Imperial Consort as scheduled.”

Fynn, who had been listening to the maids, tilted her head. It was because a low voice rang through the maids’ complaints. As it was coming through the door, she couldn’t hear it clearly, but she was convinced that it was the voice of Lehman, who’d entered the empress’ room.

Fynn didn’t remain stubborn and turned around. Since she’d long since given up any hope that Sotis’ maids would let her in. As such, Fynn circled around the Empress’ Palace and headed towards a small garden.

Sotis’ bedroom window was slightly open. And…

“You like chrysanthemums? It isn’t the season for it to bloom yet.… I will ask for it if I am allowed to enter the greenhouse. But isn’t this flower also pretty? In Beatum, spring often…”

Fynn was startled by that loud voice and hid behind the maple tree.

Lehman continued to say a few more sentences, before the sound of a chair being pulled rang out. It sounded like he was going to sit next to Sotis.

It wasn’t unusual to talk to an unconscious person. But Fynn felt the hair on the back of his neck standing. It was because she instinctively knew that he wasn’t purely talking to himself or complaining.

Lehman Periwinkle was ‘have a conversation’. It was like he was answering someone’s words. However, Sotis had been unconscious for an entire month, and if she had woken up for a moment, Edmund couldn’t have been uninformed about it.

Fynn suddenly remembered that Lehman possessed a spiritual eye. Apparently, Beatum’s wizard had the ability to observe souls and talk to the dead.

He talked to Sotis like that…

Fynn didn’t agonise over that for long. She calmed her confused mind and left the empress’ palace quickly. Then, she wandered around the central garden and waited for Lehman to pass through this place.

She saw the wizard, just as she’d expected. He was walking a little slower than usual with a slightly dejected expression on his face.

Fynn quickly blocked his path.

“……”

Lehman raised his head when a pair of pointed sheepskin shoes came into view. A pair of amber eyes that gave a foreign feeling stared at Fynn apathetically.

“Hello.”

With a short greeting, Lehman stepped aside. Fynn also moved in the same direction.

“Would you like to go first?”

Lehman stepped back without giving Fynn a glance. Although he gave others a gentle and amiable impression, he had a solemn and chilly air as there wasn’t any hint of a smile on his face.

Regardless of that, Fynn blocked his path and spoke.

“I have something to tell you.”

Lehman responded politely.

“I’m a man that’s neither attractive nor interesting.”

It was referring to the rumour that Fynn continued meeting other distinguished guests or aristocrats easily, even though she had the emperor’s favour.

She answered with a crooked smile.

“Well, that’s very interesting. I don’t think you can even be compared with any other man.”

She spoke triumphantly to Lehman, who glanced at Fynn like he wanted to say what nonsense was that.

“You’d conversed with the Empress.”

“…….”

The wizard’s face froze instantly. He quickly scanned at their surroundings and lowered his voice to a whisper.

“I was just grumbling. The Duke of Marigold knows that I enter and exit that place in order to check on Her Majesty’s condition.”

“Do I look so dull that I can’t even distinguish between grumbling and a conversation?”

Fynn looked at him goadingly as she swept up her red hair.

As he looked at Fynn, who was blatantly mocking the way he tried to conceal what had happened, Lehman let out a deep sigh. He’d already expected that it would be discovered anytime. Wasn’t there no such thing as an eternal secret? If anyone treated Sotis like a dead person, Lehman had intended to personally reveal the truth.

Lehman ruffled his brown hair and spoke with a distorted voice.

“That’s right. I had a conversation with Her Majesty Sotis, who had momentarily left her body. As I am the only one that can hear Her Majesty’s voice, I decided to become her conversational partner.”

“Did you inform His Majesty Edmund about this?”

“Am I required to report to him?”

Lehman smiled coldly.

“Is His Majesty interested in Her Majesty Sotis?”

“At the very least, he deserves to know that Her Majesty’s soul has separated from her body. Doesn’t that mean that she’s dead or about to die?”

The wizard held back his irritation and answered in a suppressed voice.

“It might not be the case. There aren’t many cases like this, so I can’t give a definite answer, but I’m currently looking for a method to send Her Majesty’s soul back into her body so that her soul wouldn’t disappear. As such…”

“Wouldn’t it be fine if you looked for that method after reporting about it? What happens after that will be for His Majesty Edmund to decide.”

“Haven’t you considered how the people that undermined Her Majesty would react if the truth was made out to be a flaw of the Empress’? It could also become a reason for divorce!”

“You’re saying it as though they wouldn’t be divorced if you bought time.”

Ridicule and sympathy was blatantly contained within Fynn’s words.

Lehman tried his best to reign in his fury.

“Give Her Majesty Sotis a few more days.”

“I think that it’ll be better for her to attain freedom quickly.”

“Freedom, you say.”

He shuddered like he had heard an unpleasant joke. He then approached Fynn and whispered in a hostile tone.

“Can that truly be called ‘freedom’? Of the people that can give Her Majesty Sotis freedom, Lady Fynn and His Majesty Edmund are not part of them.”

“……”

“I will reveal it to everyone after a period of time has passed. Please, at least until Her Majesty Sotis’ soul has stabilised.”

Amber eyes twinkled inhumanely and stared straight at Fynn.

“I hope that you will put all your attention into the imperial consort conferment ceremony, and as with the past, remain immersed in the reality of being well-loved.”

The reality of being well-loved.

Fynn couldn’t help but laugh at the quickly retreating back of Lehman.

* * *