If You Wish For Something Useless - Chapter 1 – Utter Fate

As she slipped into darkness, Evelyn entered the dream.

While only a dream, it had been her reality for a long time.

That dream, which she had seen hundreds of times already, left Evelyn in pain once again.

“Uh…”

The pain was something she couldn’t get used to, no matter how much time passed.

So even in her sleep, she groaned in pain.

Evelyn’s eyelids, twitching as if hurting, fluttered.

Soon, scarlet eyes shone brightly under her raised eyelids.

Having been released from her dream, Evelyn took a ragged breath.

She mumbled while staring blankly at the bedroom ceiling.

“What else is there for me to see…”

Her voice came out dully. She already knew the answer.

Inhaling deeply, Evelyn closed her eyes again.

Even though she remembered everything, she continued to have that same dream.

‘Am I a little anxious because of what’s going to happen next?’

Her forehead furrowed as she searched through her memories and recalled the events that will begin today,

‘I was ten years old when it began.’

Evelyn began to have strange dreams starting on her tenth birthday.

Only blurred sentences written in an unfamiliar language, ruined like a broken image, were clear on waking.

Despite not having seen them before in her life, the time it took for her to understand their meaning was short.

[The young lady from the Fedora Grand Duchy isn’t the Grand Duke’s real daughter.]

[The funeral for the fake Princess who died on the streets was held in the Grand Palace.

At first, she thought it was just a strange dream. Because it couldn’t be true.

Still, despite Evelyn’s disbelief, the dreams repeated persistently.

As if trying to vanquish her, they came every night and ruled her dreamworld.

Evelyn didn’t give in easily, but neither did she succeed in suppressing them.

To be exact, she couldn’t get rid of them.

Four years after the day of her first dream, she had no choice but to accept that she was not the real daughter of Grand Duke Fedora.

After four years of endless struggle, she realized it wasn’t just a random dream.

She regained the memories of her past life. Were those memories a reward that God gave her after accepting that terrible, painful truth?

Or was it mere pity for the miserable future that lay ahead?

“It doesn’t matter which one it is…”

After indulging in brief self-pity, Evelyn got up from the bed.

Then she pulled the rope hanging next to the bed.

Was it due to the surrounding silence? Evelyn felt she could hear the bell ringing distantly in the servants’ quarters.

Evelyn stretched to awaken her sleep-stiffened body.

Crack.

The bedroom was silent again once the cracking sound ceased. Really…

“It’s quiet.”

Evelyn hated silence. Because her head was full of useless thoughts.

When she was alone with her thoughts, she felt like she was in a swamp with no escape no matter how hard she tried.

Even though unpleasant, the pulling energy was so strong it seemed it would hold her forever.

Today, Evelyn couldn’t escape the swamp of her thoughts.

* * * 

Her previous life’s memories, gained by acknowledging everything and abandoning ego and arrogance, were vast and chaotic.

The most important memories could be summarized in three points.

First. This world existed inside a novel that she read in her previous life.

“It’s a world inside a fiction…”

She had already confirmed that specific events and region names coincided with those in the novel. Also, the story in the original had already come true like a prophecy.

It wasn’t that Evelyn’s intervention did not create changes.

However, the events directly related to the main story did not change.

The original story was an absolute truth that she could never defeat even if she struggled with all her might.

Second. ‘Evelyn Lokt Fedora’ was an impostor who had been switched with the real princess, the heroine, due to some incident.

“Of all things, I had to be born as a fake…”

After Evelyn passed away on the street, the heroine, the real princess, emerged to fill the empty space.

It’s not entertaining if the main character is in a very nice place from the start, so it was saved for future development.

A device to satisfy readers’ expectations with a major dramatic plot twist.

A place-holder to fill the vacancy until the main character returns.

Yes, Evelyn was just an accessory to the novel’s main character’s splendid rise.

A tragic truth followed behind that bitter realization.

Third. Evelyn can’t be a member of Grand Duke Fedora’s family no matter what she does.

“Everyone else has a family, but I’m the only one who does not…”

Evelyn’s voice sounded hollow and dispassionate, the voice of one who had already chosen to give up.

She had already experienced the agony in her previous life.

The parents who adopted her because they didn’t have any children.

And a real daughter was born before long.

A fake daughter who didn’t realize that the people around her want to remove her and are uncomfortable living with her.

Although Evelyn knew their true feelings in her previous life, she worked hard and persevered to become a great daughter and elder sister.

But she couldn’t help but acknowledge the truth the moment she found herself covered in blood after pushing her little sibling out of the path of an oncoming car.

“Yeonwoo!”

It was because she saw her parents run toward her sister drenched in worry.

They ran yelling the name ‘Yeonwoo,’ who was still alive, but never called the name ‘Yeonha,’ who was dying on the side.

Even with her blurred vision, the scene was truly, amazingly, clear.

Covered in blood, her existence was meaningless to the parents who were relieved to hold their innocent younger child in their arms.

‘So stop hoping for a place that can never be reached by a person who doesn’t share their blood, like me.’

Moreover, in this life she wasn’t a child adopted because they wanted one, rather she was someone who was exchanged for the real daughter.

In a sense, it could be said she was the daughter of the enemy.

So even if she desperately hoped and constantly struggled, she wouldn’t be able to win her place.

“So it’s right to give up…”

‘I don’t want to be as miserable as I was in my previous life when I hoped for something useless.’

Wouldn’t one experience be enough?

* * * 

Tok. Tok.

A sudden knock broke through her tumultuous thoughts.

Evelyn was glad to hear the sound. Because it interrupted the constant thoughts.

“Come in!”

With Evelyn’s permission, the door opened.

Two people entered. It was Lora, who had been by her side since childhood, and Aubrey, her exclusive maid for three years.

“Princess, did you wake up early?”

At Lora’s question, Evelyn smiled softly and shook her head.

“I must have been a little nervous.”

It wasn’t a lie. After she realized everything, she was indeed anxious seeing those miserable sentences from the past again.

Soon, someone will arrive to announce that she was an impostor.

“Oh my, it doesn’t show at all.”

Lora approached with a bright voice.

Aubrey, who came in with the tray, also followed her with a beaming face.

Then, she spread a small table on the bed and chatted while moving plates of food on it.

“Are you very nervous?”

Evelyn responded with a light smile.

Aubrey continued blabbering.

“Actually, we’re very excited too! These days, when we get together, we only talk about the Young Lord, right? Did you know that the popularity of the butler and the head maid is skyrocketing because of that? You don’t know how much everyone is begging them to say something about the Young Master! Starting with winning last year’s and this year’s swordsmanship competitions, rumors are circulating that he is the most handsome man in Hereos! Is that all true?”

Although the constant chatter was exhausting, Evelyn was still smiling brightly.

She was quite fond of Aubrey’s prattling.

It made her so dizzy that she didn’t even have time to think about anything else.

“It’s my first time seeing him, too.”

Even with a brusque response, Aubrey’s excited chatter did not stop. It was really delightful.

“But you’ve often exchanged letters! You’ve seen portraits! Princess, what kind of person do you think…”

“Aubrey, stop it.”

Lora, who poured Evelyn’s coffee, interrupted Aubrey.

“Are you bragging that you can talk about the Young Lord in private?”

“I’m- I’m sorry… I must be excited to think that the Young Master is coming.”

Evelyn grabbed the cup of coffee and looked out the window as Lora clicked her tongue and scolded Aubrey.

It was covered with last night’s snowfall.

In the Grand Duchy of Fedora, located in the northeast of the continent, Winter was a little earlier and longer compared to other regions.

As December came to an end, the Grand Duchy had long been blanketed in white.

For the next few months or so, she would be able to see this white world.

Gazing at the snow-covered scene, Evelyn took a deep breath.

It was because she remembered that the time for her departure was approaching.

‘Can it be filled up in a month?’

Originally, Evelyn’s Coming-of-Age Ceremony will be held in a month, and many guests will come from all over the continent for that occasion.

If she had to pick the most special one among those guests, she would not hesitate to choose the one.

Grand Duke Fedora’s eldest son and heir to the Grand Duchy.

Ethan Leogram Fedora Orman is returning after leaving this place 19 years ago due to his parents’ divorce.

He, who will reveal Evelyn wasn’t Grand Duke’s real daughter, was also coming to Fedora to attend next month’s Coming-of-Age Ceremony.

And as she had experienced, the background events for the main story never change.

So the future she faces will not change.

She lived hiding and blocking it, and now her identity will be revealed.

The real heroine can return only after the fake woman disappears.

Evelyn didn’t shed a single tear even after realizing that fact.

Because after that, she collected herself and laughed about it.

She mocked herself because she was used to this situation.

“That’s a relief.”

“Yes?”

“What’s a relief?”

She believed she wouldn’t cry miserably on the day she had to leave.

Evelyn shook her head, swallowing the answer she could not tell anyone.

“You seem to be in a good mood.”

“Really?”

Maybe a little? It wasn’t wrong to say that she would finally let go of her vain and futile wish.

She was even a little excited looking forward to it.

Because the day when something will be forcibly taken away from her, something she could never have removed by herself, will soon come.

Evelyn smiled, holding in the words she couldn’t say before anyone.

“I’ve been looking forward to my Coming of Age Ceremony, that’s why I’m happy.”

The more time spent in hiding, the better you become at lying.

“Princess will be amazed that day! Everyone is working really hard. We’re all cleaning to the point the mansion is shining!”

Evelyn looked down at the cup in her hand as she listened to Aubrey’s rambling that had begun again.

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After the long struggle, she felt that the beginning of the original was really near.

As the story unfolds, she will leave the castle where she spent her whole life.

TL/N: Evelyn is called Princess because she’s the Grand Duke’s only daughter but no, she isn’t a princess by blood.