If You Wish For Something Useless - Chapter 35 – First Encounter (1)

Chapter 35 – First Encounter (1)

“Is there still no news?”

Ethan’s low-pitched voice was filled with the impatience that he couldn’t hide.

“…I apologize, Young Master.”

The knight who reported the search results bowed his head in embarrassment. When he heard an answer that had not changed compared to the previous report, a low groan escaped Ethan’s mouth. Although he had already guessed, he was devastated. About two months ago, while recovering from his injuries, he heard that the borders had been closed. He immediately ran to Archduke Fedora. The emotions raging in his heart tried to get the answer he wanted even if he had to press the Archduke. He asked if the borders were closed because he had found Evelyn’s whereabouts, and if so, why don’t you bring her right away…? Ethan realized when he faced the silence after his rushed words. Archduke Fedora had virtually given up on finding Evelyn.

‘How should I describe the feelings I had at that time? Was it anger? Disappointment? If not, was it resentment? How can you be so heartless as soon as you find out that she’s not your daughter? How could you let go of the child you raised as a daughter so easily?’ Ethan couldn’t control his emotions toward the archduke. He raised his voice for the first time since arriving at the Grand Duchy.

“The rebels still know her as Father’s daughter. Why are you standing still when they might kill her?!”

But nothing changed. The Archduke did not seek Evelyn. Eventually, Ethan ordered the search himself and fortunately, the Archduke did not restrain his actions. Ethan even allowed the appointment of knights belonging to the Archduke.

Thus, even though they reached today…

“…I get it. Keep looking.”

“Yes, Young Master.”

Ethan sent out the knight and heaved an uncontrollable long sigh. He had been sitting there for a while but suddenly rose from his seat. He went out without hesitation and arrived at the office Evelyn used to work in. He opened the door and entered the office; his breathing was rough. A place he visited with her over and over again to share some time together. Whenever he was there, he felt he could breathe a little bit. As if Evelyn was still there. As if she would return here at any moment. He knew it wouldn’t happen, yet he still hoped. He wanted to see her again. Since the day of the attack, he wanted to reach out to her as much as he had longed for her. If he filled his arms with that warmth, all his bitter feelings might be quenched.

Ethan walked to Evelyn’s desk and held his breath. The hand sweeping the desk was cautious.

“Where are you…?”

Ethan’s expression contorted. He was searching but to no avail. Although considerable time had passed since the day Evelyn disappeared, all he could discover was the route she took to escape the Estate. The lock and keys left in the back door, the wheel marks of the wagon left on the dirt road up till the boat… Immediately after leaving the castle, Evelyn crossed the border by boat. As smooth as water flowing without stopping. It would be impossible without previous planning. When he found out about it, another meaning was overlaid on his time with her. She harbored something Ethan didn’t know, from the papers he had seen in her office to the incomprehensible explanations that followed in her soft voice. Evelyn had been trying to fill the vacancy she would leave behind since the first day she met him. As Ethan struggled to build memories with his sister, she had been preparing to leave. The emotions he felt when he realized that fact still controlled Ethan. A sense of loss, betrayal, and…a bit of delight.

“This…”

‘What the hell?’ The presence of an emotion he couldn’t identify became clearer day by day. He rejoiced. Every time he recalled that Evelyn had never seen him as an older brother, he felt it all over again. Though confusion and fear kept him from naming his feelings, it was easy to see that his own reaction was not normal. Ethan’s sense of shame deepened day by day. He couldn’t comprehend himself, placing his mind and gaze elsewhere, without even knowing whether Sylvia and Lord Orman were dead or alive. Now that Evelyn was found to not be the Archduke’s daughter, now that she was found to be someone without a drop of blood mixed with him.

The time they spent together was about a month. ‘But why can’t I get rid of it?’ Rather than shaking off the memories, he was afraid. Afraid that something might go wrong for her, far from his eyes and ears. Her hands were as soft as those who had never done rough work before, and when he had held her body, it was slight enough to crush with his smallest effort. Such a person was all alone in a place where no one could help her. A person who has no hesitation to judge herself as beautiful, what if something happens to her?

[tl/n: I can’t help but laugh I mean, what’s up with Ethan? lol]

The rebellion in Hereos threatened not only his family but also Evelyn’s well-being. The fact that she was not the daughter of Archduke Fedora wasn’t yet known publicly. In such a situation, what if the rebels find her first? Without the protection of the Archduke, Evelyn’s safety wasn’t guaranteed.

Every time he thought so, Ethan felt strangled. It was as if he had seen a vision in which Evelyn’s smiling face was shattered. The sudden death of his grandfather was pushing away his shame and fueling his anxiety.

Uuhkk- uuuhk- His forced breathing sounded roughly. Failing to catch his breath, Ethan clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. The fear, which grew stronger as time passed, pushed Ethan to the brink of self-blame.

No, he felt like he was caught by fear and dragged into a swamp. The more he struggled, the more intense his desire became.

I need to find her before anything happens.

I’ll have to find her and keep her by my side.

As long as I find her, she won’t be able to leave ever again…

“Crazy…”

Repeated fear gripped Ethan.

His emotions began to change so deeply that it was impossible to even know what their original colors were.

* * * 

Evelyn filled her lungs as she watched the carriage waiting for her in front of the mansion. Drawn on the carriage was the emblem of the Arangis household, which had disappeared from the world for over 20 years now. That was also the result of a political struggle that didn’t end even though it exceeded a generation.

Cesar proclaimed a new Empire and the coat of arms and name of the old Arangis family were put forward as those of the Imperial family. The local lords reacted negatively as if they were waiting, and a civil war broke out across Hereos. Since the civil war had begun, Evelyn had to move, too. It was no exaggeration to say that her real purpose for coming to Hereos was starting in earnest.

Evelyn held out her hand as she recalled her reasons for leaving Holfman and coming to Vetern. Cesar’s knight, who was waiting by the carriage, took her hand. The wagon in which she rode began to move smoothly. Evelyn leaned back and reflected on what had happened in the past month. Among the events, there was an incident that had a profound effect on the reasons for Evelyn’s riding in Arangis’ carriage.

“A prophet has appeared.” A rumor from an unknown source began to circulate. It wasn’t until Spring arrived that the rumors circulating under Liam’s control filled Vetern. The short but strong sentence quickly took control of Vetern as if they were swayed by the spring breeze. The nobles made a fuss, talking about the unknown prophet. Some condemned it as a common rumor, and others searched throughout Vetern to meet the prophet. The number of people searching for the source of the rumors increased every day.

And Cesar was no exception.

However, unlike the nobles, he did not seek the source of rumors. He did not send anyone to find a prophet. Instead, he just called Liam to the Imperial Palace. Perhaps as soon as he heard the rumor about the prophet, he thought of him. A man who had been thought dead until a few months ago conquered his household and was preparing for the succession ceremony, thus, Cesar had no choice but to doubt him. It must have been even more suspicious when he recalled how he beat out his rivals.

As a result, Cesar discerned the true identity of the prophet earlier than Evelyn expected. An unidentified rich person often appeared next to Liam. A woman who always walked through the streets of Vetern wearing a veil.

Had he reached out more, finding the mansion where Evelyn was staying would have been easier than breathing.

If Etrada had reported Liam being ambushed, he would have also figured out where Evelyn and Liam’s relationship began.

Going further back than that, he may have even figured out how Evelyn entered Vetern…