If You Wish For Something Useless - Chapter 44

Chapter 44 – Earnest Wish (4)

[The assassins were killed in a sudden fire]

The paper on which the short text was written was crumpled. Perhaps because she couldn’t overcome her rage, her thin, white fingers trembled.

[The target’s escorts have raided our hideout. It seems that the plan was exposed in advance]

The same thing happened again. No, it wasn’t just this time. Even when she had fallen off the horse that ran wild while she was learning to ride.

“Princess!”

Even around the time she broke her shoulder when hit by a flowerpot that suddenly fell.

“Kyaaa, Princess!”

Even when the podium collapsed while practicing the bow.

“Physician, call the physician!”

She was reported to have failed to kill Cesar. In the end, when she gave up her repeated failures and accidents, Evelyn realized what the past accidents meant. The horse she will ride, the path she will take, and the platform on which she will stand. It was impossible for Evelyn to get hurt so often with everyone having their eyes alert, inspecting every nook and cranny.

Why didn’t she realize it earlier? It was all that the Original had planned to get rid of her. As proof of that, as soon as she pulled out her hand away from Cesar, all the dangerous things that were happening around her disappeared. How was it when she realized the clear and brutal truth?

“Ha…”

It was just like now. It felt like falling into an abyss with no end in sight or sinking into a deep, dark sea from which there was no escape. Evelyn scoffed, emptying her half-filled glass. When she tried to name Grand Duke Fedora in front of Cesar, the leg of the table broke. What if she hadn’t stopped there? The bookshelf that had been in good condition had collapsed, and the windows would not have been broken. And if she didn’t give up on the repeated threats and kept trying to say the Archduke’s name…

“It may kill me.”

Just to close her mouth. Would it be a heart attack? Or poison that she didn’t even eat? She had a hard time imagining how the Original would have killed her.

Kh-kh kh- Evelyn’s laughter mixed with the moans of her pain. Her head hurts. No, her whole body ached. Maybe it was heartache.

“Did I drink too much…” mumbling. She was so drunk she didn’t even know what she was talking about, but Evelyn filled her glass again. Her hand wiggled to and fro, and most of the liquor in the bottle splashed sideways. Evelyn picked up the glass from the damp table. Her barely half-full glass emptied quickly.

“You should drink more…” Continuing this until she forgets her dreadful and terrifying despair.

Before long, all of the bottles were gone, and Evelyn’s body leaned to the side.

Tuck. Laying down on the sofa, Evelyn threw the glass she was holding. The glass broke easily. It lost its original shape and its shattered shape was just like herself. Evelyn watched it silently and curled her body.

The weather was warm, but she felt chilly enough. She suddenly remembered a time when she was drunk like today and longed for affection and warmth.

“I won’t even go near the hunting grounds.”

Even as time passed, the voice didn’t fade, rather, it only became clearer. The hand that warmly hugged her despite his own awkwardness. Her burning longing made her stretch out her hand, but the memories of her past were too far away to reach.

“Cold…”

Now that she had no one to wrap her, how would she get rid of the cold?

Evelyn stared blankly at her broken glass then closed her eyes.

Her damp tears flowed silently.

* * *

On the first day of his visit to the mansion, Pharrell was guided to the room opposite Evelyn’s bedroom. It was the kind of arrangement that might be used between a couple. A month later, it was still a place where he could not hide his discomfort, but Pharrell did not ask to change rooms. It was the perfect place to fulfill Cesar’s order to monitor every move of the woman. As always, he watched the bedroom opposite. He felt as if he had become an unscrupulous man coveting a woman’s bedroom. But he did his best, as Cesar’s orders mattered more than his own feelings. It was because of this that he heard a small crash.

Pharrell’s body trembled and moved. He cautiously stepped from his room. He tried to awaken his senses, wondering if there was an intruder, but he felt only one presence.

‘What was that?’ She may have accidentally broken something but… there was something strange about such a conclusion.

‘Is she not going to call a servant?’ He waited for a while, but there was no sign of someone approaching the hallway on the second floor.

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‘Is she trying to clean it herself?’ Pharrell, unable to shake off the discomfort, could not easily turn around. There was no special movement nor sound of glass rattling. Instead, he heard a very faint sobbing. As he approached the woman’s bedroom, the sobbing became a little clearer.

‘Is she crying?’ After a moment’s hesitation, he gently knocked on the door.

“Miss?”

There was no answer, and his discord was brief. The orders he received from Cesar were basically surveillance and protection. The condition “surveillance” included a request to check the woman’s face. Using the prolonged silence as an opportunity, Pharrell opened the bedroom door. A quick look inside revealed the woman crouched in a corner of the sofa.

“Miss.”

There was no answer again. Pharrell approached the woman silently.

“Ah…”

She was asleep. She was not in bed, but curled up on the sofa, crying. After checking the table full of alcohol and broken glass, Pharrell looked at the woman again. Was she drunk and fell asleep? Then wouldn’t he be able to see the face hidden under the veil? His large hand gently brushed the woman’s brown hair.

‘No scars.’ He thought she might be covering her face because of an ugly scar, but it wasn’t the case. She was so beautiful that he couldn’t understand why she was hiding her face. His gaze was shaken for a moment by her unexpected beauty.

It wasn’t long before Pharrell came to his senses. What was important to him was to have that woman’s face carved into his head. Accurately enough he could draw a sketch. He checked her pale skin, high nose, luscious lips, and glimmering eyes. It was then that he saw her eyelashes soaked in tears. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, as if he had been caught by something. The woman who used to make bold statements in front of Cesar, who was more powerful than anyone else, was crying alone.

‘Why?’

He was not interested in the woman’s personal background, so it was a question he hadn’t considered before. Pharrell was silent, gazing at the tears that were still busy streaming.

Did she feel his tenacious gaze? The woman’s eyelids fluttered and trembled. Bewildered by the sudden movement, Pharrell hardened, and the woman opened her eyes. Her blurred eyes were bright scarlet, enough to be recognizable in the dark.

Pharrell noticed a hand reaching toward him and hurriedly pulled his body back.

“Ah…”

The woman’s hand lost its destination and fell. His heart pounded as he saw her hand hanging down under the sofa.

‘Why?’

“Hic…”

At the same time as Pharrell asked himself that question, her pitiful tears fell and made the listener feel touched. The man, who faced her empty eyes head-on, couldn’t move as if he was caught by a spell.

Blink, blink. The woman who had fluttered her eyelids over and over again closed her eyes completely at one point. Pharrell exhaled. And realized. He had been holding his breath all this time.

‘Since when?’ Perhaps, since the woman’s hand fell. He looked down and saw her hand coming out of the sofa. Her skin was white and transparent enough to show the veins. Fingers that were less than half thick as his. Even neatly trimmed nails. His heart pounded again when he saw her trembling hand drooping helplessly. This time, he could find the reason.

‘Too… different.’

A woman who raised her head proudly in front of Cesar, but when she was alone…

“Tsk.” He closed his eyes to block his vision but still could block the sound. The sound of disturbed breathing reached him. He hurriedly got up, as if trying to avoid it. He had already checked the woman’s face, and it was time for him to leave. But Pharrell’s withdrawal reached only one step away. He couldn’t get away from the woman any more than that.

Did the sudden tears weaken his heart? Pharrell clicked his tongue as he repeatedly stretched out his hand, confused. He couldn’t walk away leaving the woman like that.

‘I don’t think she will remember…’

Judging by the bottles of alcohol rolling around and her disorganized appearance at the moment, it was quite possible. But if…

‘If she remembers?’ Pharrell knew. The previous thought was all excuses. It was right not to leave any trace of him entering this bedroom today. But even knowing that, he didn’t walk away. He entered out of a short concern, but it was far too long to leave now. Eventually, Pharrell sighed and lowered his posture again.

‘Even if you remember, it’s already a failure because I have seen your face.’ If he was caught it wouldn’t matter that he moved her to the bed. And if she doesn’t remember, he was just lucky. Pharrell excused himself and reached toward the woman.

She was light enough to hold with one hand. As he lowered the woman to the bed not far from the sofa, the burden on his heart was lightened. The reason he hardened again as he tried to turn around was because of the desperately clinging warmth.

“What…”

“It’s cold…”

Her trembling body dug into his arms. As if longing for warmth. Pharrell couldn’t release the woman’s arm around his neck.

The body parts in contact with her warmth were painfully hot.

His lips trembled.