If You Wish For Something Useless - Chapter 8 – Seeds of Change (1)

Chapter 8 – Seeds of Change (1)

It was an outing that could not be called pleasant even out of charity.

However, having already come thus far, Evelyn decided to talk about the future inspections Ethan would be doing by himself. At the same time, she didn’t forget to introduce him to the drunkard captains or important guild leaders docking in the port.

Those who dealt in rare or expensive items, or materials essential for Fedora were worthy of attention because their transactions impacted Fedora’s economy significantly. Therefore, the conversations with them took longer than expected.

By the time the inspection was over, the sun was already high in the sky. They left the Castle early in the morning, but the morning had long passed.

Heading to the carriage to return to the castle, Evelyn looked up at Ethan quietly walking by her side. He seemed to have been glancing at her all day, so they made eye contact at once.

They both quickly looked away as if they hadn’t seen each other, but within seconds they peeked at each other once again.

Unlike before, Ethan smiled a little and spoke.

“Is there anything you want to say…?”

Even while working, she had wanted to voice the thoughts filling her head. However, her rule was to keep silent and smile.

The four years she spent after giving in to those dreams had been sufficient time for Evelyn to realize that the original story’s future wouldn’t change.

Even when she tried intervening and twisting it forcibly, the world relentlessly continued her scheduled destiny.

By any means, without fail.

Even events that hadn’t originally existed were created to maintain that fate.

That’s why Evelyn, who had tried to hide her identity, learned to surrender. But what had he said that morning?

“I won’t go.”

“Ethan won’t go to the hunting grounds? Then, there will be a problem with the original story.’

Because her identity will not be revealed.

Thoughts that flowed ceaselessly headed in directions she didn’t want.

Tsk. Evelyn clicked her tongue and bit her lower lip.

‘Let’s not do this. Don’t you already know what it’s like to crave what isn’t yours?’

She recalled the last moments of her previous life as evidence. The terrible sensation at that time when the hot blood that was supposed to fill her body drained to the pavement and cooled there.

Do not forget the moments when your existence and continuous efforts were all denied and you became miserable.

Ethan’s declaration at the castle were just mere words.

As long as this world was dominated by the machinations of the original plot, that day will come, even if he doesn’t want to visit the hunting grounds.

Obviously, she knew that much, but she was also just a human being who held onto one false hope.

She had built a wall founded in the abandonment she had experienced through her previous life’s memories, but still, she was like a ribbon fluttering helplessly in the wind.

“…Are you sure you won’t go to the hunting ground?”

The question unmasked her true feelings.

“Yeah, I won’t go.”

While waiting for Evelyn to speak, Ethan smiled softly and gave her the answer she wanted. It was so warm…

Evelyn couldn’t continue looking at him and halted.

‘I don’t know why I expect it to be different this time, knowing it’s inevitable.’

Leaving behind all reasoning and clinging onto some useless hope once again.

“You’re such a fool…”

Silly, foolish. In the end, there will be someone to trigger the tragedy on its own.

Evelyn curled her lips and looked at Ethan with a piercing gaze. Facing those piercing eyes directly, he suddenly exclaimed ‘Uh?’ Shortly after, he said, rubbing his twitching lips with one hand.

“There are many places to visit other than the hunting grounds, so I don’t think I’ll have time.”

Even the voice trying to soothe her was warm. It might be due to his attitude of neither knowing nor asking anything.

Those random phrases that couldn’t even make a sentence were really persistent. Just like that, Evelyn was eventually caught by some lingering feelings.

“…Would you like to look around the city?”

“Uh?”

“I’ll give you a tour.”

The scarlet eyes that captured Ethan’s wide smile seemed to have brightened a little.

“Will you do that for me?”

“…Let’s go.”

‘It’s foolish to think that even the first steps I took after turning my back on Ethan became lighter. If I wasn’t stupid, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy today’s little pleasure.’

* * * 

Before exploring the city, Evelyn and Ethan had lunch at a well-known restaurant. They couldn’t go around with an empty stomach.

There was little to discuss during mealtime. No, it was accurate to say that there was nothing. Evelyn only looked at Ethan as if watching or monitoring him. On the other hand, Ethan, on the receiving end of her persistent gaze, repeatedly coughed awkwardly.

It was, by any measure, an uncomfortable meal.

‘Can Ethan really not go to the hunting grounds? What will happen if the original event is twisted in this way?’

The thought repeated to her throughout the meal, making its own contribution to the awkward silence.

Of course, leaving the restaurant after emptying all the plates, she wrinkled her forehead for another reason. She had just promised Ethan she would give him a tour of the city in lieu of visiting the hunting grounds. She couldn’t help but keep her word.

While Evelyn was pondering their first destination, a bouquet suddenly popped in front of her. As she turned her head to the side, Ethan’s warm smile greeted her.

Reflexively, Evelyn raised her hand to accept the flowers. Ethan nodded his head as he saw the coachman bringing the carriage.

“I heard it from people around.”

Perhaps before entering the restaurant, he asked the coachman if there was a place selling flowers nearby. As a matter of fact, there was a shop that sold flowers grown in greenhouses.

He must have sent someone to buy a bouquet while they were eating.

Evelyn noticed the man standing a couple of steps behind Ethan. On the first day he arrived, Ethan introduced the man as an escort who had supported him for a long time.

A man who always followed Ethan wherever he moves, even within the Castle. Evelyn didn’t have to strain to recall his name.

Philman Obelsietta was also a character that appeared in the original story. ‘Did you send him?’

“Um… you don’t like it?”

Evelyn’s scarlet eyes, which had paused on Philman for a while, looked at Ethan again. He seemed nervous, yet Evelyn did not react upon receiving the bouquet.

He wondered if he had made a mistake, so he stared at her trying to read her mind carefully while feeling ticklish inside.

“I think you said you like flowers… If not…”

“Yes. I like it.”

It was a topic that didn’t need a superfluous lie. Evelyn liked flowers quite a lot.

‘They only bloom for a few days and then wither away so that I don’t have any unpleasant emotions.’

“Thank you.”

Inhaling the flowers’ scent, Evelyn thanked him with a noncommittal expression.

As Ethan turned his head away with slightly reddened ears, a snowflake drifted down as if it had been waiting for that moment.

Evelyn thought the flurries had ended after Ethan’s arrival, but it seemed that the already accumulated snow was starting to pile up again before the final melting of Spring. Ethan watched the flakes increase for a short while before directing his attention elsewhere.

As if it was natural, he contemplated Evelyn gently holding his bouquet gift in her arms.

“It… suits you.”

It was a kind tone. It even sounded a little happy to her ears.

Evelyn said to him with a soft smile.

“Of course.”

“…Uh?”

As if saying the weather was nice or the sky was blue, she continued as if stating the most common and well-known fact of all.

“Because I’m pretty.”

“Th-… That’s true…”

Ethan was taken aback and instantly tensed, but Evelyn stroked the flowers in her arms with a relaxed touch.

“Thanks to you, I was comfortable in many ways.”

“Exactly how…?”

Ethan’s embarrassment prevented him from finishing his question properly. Evelyn tilted her head slightly.

‘Are you really asking because you don’t know?’

“I renewed the tariff clause when the envoys of the Sol Empire were mesmerized by your face.”

“Oh…?”

“It was the same when dealing with the managers of the Merchant’s Guild. It’s useful to wield looks at will.”

Blinking, Ethan looked bewildered by her response. He remained mute for a while. It was the clear reaction of a person who had heard something unexpected. Evelyn couldn’t understand his reaction.

“Didn’t Brother think the same?”

Red heat spread across Ethan’s face as he realized the meaning behind that question.

“I’m not really…”

“Hmm?”

Now Evelyn blinked as if she had heard something unexpected.

“You must be popular with young ladies, right? There will be a lot of things you’ll have to handle with them.”

“Th- that not… no, it’s not like that!”

Evelyn’s expression darkened at his repeated denial.

She squinted at Ethan standing before her and said in a shaky tone.

“If you’re not popular with women with that kind of face, isn’t there a problem?”

“Wh- what?”

“As long as there are no major personality flaws …”

Ethan’s jaw dropped.

“The- there isn’t!”

“It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with Brother… but otherwise it makes no sense.”

Ethan, who had been spluttering for a while, mumbled as he covered his reddening face with his hand.

“It’s just… it’s getting too much attention!”

‘I knew it. It doesn’t make sense to say he didn’t get any attention with that face.’

Although it also made no sense to be unaware of it. ‘Haven’t you acknowledged it yourself before?’

But what did he mean by that? If he wanted it, he could even get men’s attention. Although, it might be a little awkward.

Evelyn observed Ethan with new eyes as he turned this easy conversation around. Judging from his reaction, he didn’t seem to have learned to use his appearance for gain like Evelyn.

‘But why the hell?’

“Since ancient times, beauty has been treated as an excellent strategy in various ventures. Do you think it’s a bad use?”

Using a ‘beauty trap’ didn’t make a competent person incompetent. Because that beauty trap wasn’t her only option, it was just one of many.

If it hadn’t been there from the beginning, was there any reason to omit that card?

‘Why would you do something so inefficient?’

“That’s not what I meant, but…”

Evelyn’s point of view left Ethan looking quite confused. But his confusion soon turned into laughter.

The previously meek and deferential Ethan had his mouth wide open, laughing out loud.

Evelyn couldn’t understand Ethan’s sudden burst of laughter. No matter how much she thought about it, there was nothing in their conversation to make him laugh like that.

Ethan laughed for a really long time before he finally caught his breath.

“I, I’m sorry. Were you surprised because I laughed so much out of the blue?”

“…I’m glad you know that.”

Pffft– Evelyn took a half-step back from Ethan, who had resumed laughing after a momentary pause.

What the hell was so much fun? He just laughed recklessly. A short while later Ethan regained his composure.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

He rubbed his eyes as if wiping away tears. The golden eyes with a faint glow were tainted with a warm heat.

“In fact, I was surprised the first time I saw you.”

“Pardon?”

“You were much more beautiful than your portrait. So much that, without realizing it, my gaze was drawn to you.”

“…Thank you for the compliment. Brother is handsome, too!”

He laughed aloud once again and suddenly, he stretched out his hand.