If You Wish For Something Useless - Chapter 9 – Seeds of Change (2)

Evelyn’s eyebrows rose as she glimpsed his hand moving toward her.

“Thank you for confirming that…”

Ethan gently stroked Evelyn’s hair.

Visibly bewildered, she staggered back, and Ethan withdrew his hand in amazement.

“Ah… I’m just- because you’re cute… No, I’m sorry. Were you very surprised?”

“…It’s okay.”

She answered calmly, but Evelyn was very agitated. It was the first time in years that someone else had stroked her hair.

A brief silence settled between them.

Evelyn shook her head as if she was trying to shake off the warmth remaining from Ethan’s brief touch.

‘Before that warmth revives memories better left buried.’

“Would you like to look around the square?”

She spun her body around and handed the bouquet she was holding to Lora, who was accompanying them.

She looked like she was trying to run away.

“…Yes, then.”

Ethan’s voice had lost all the brightness from before, but Evelyn only walked ahead.

* * * 

Four days passed after their port visit.

Meanwhile, the year changed.

To prevent accidents caused by snow, social events, including banquets, were scarce during Fedora’s winter.

Thanks to this, Ethan was able to greet the first day of the new year with his family.

Archduke Fedora left for the border area, and Evelyn kept busy with her work.

And Ethan quietly passed the time in that all-white world.

The snow that started to fall before their post-inspection return to the castle had piled up higher and higher again.

When he first arrived in Fedora, he saw snow piled everywhere, but the difference now was huge.

It wouldn’t be a lie to say that the entire world was covered with snow.

He couldn’t even go out due to the non-stop snow.

Stuck indoors, Ethan naturally had to find something to do.

That was why Ethan sought the library.

“Finished.”

He got up after turning the last page of the book he was reading. As he headed to the shelves to select a new book, he suddenly looked out the window.

His feet turned on their own. Standing at the window, he could see a bright and dazzling white garden.

The library was on the third floor of the east Castle building, and the location allowed him to see the garden below easily.

The scene was like a large-framed landscape painting.

It was unfamiliar.

Located in the south central part of the continent, Hereos was a place where the summer haze was thicker than the winter blizzard. The four seasons were clear, but honestly, it was a place where the heat was stronger than the cold.

Spending most of his life in Hereos, Ethan found the current white landscape too unfamiliar.

But it was hard to take his eyes off of it because it was as beautiful as it was unfamiliar, or perhaps even more beautiful than that.

If he looked to the left, he could see the fountain at the entrance to the garden, and if he turned his head right, he could see evergreens. All were blanketed with heavy white snow.

The same would happen with the out of sight maze of thickets and the flowerbed that extended inside.

Although he had already visited the place in person, the scenery of the white dotted garden was still fuzzy in his mind.

“Shall we go…?”

Ethan wasn’t used to the cold weather — it made his hands and feet sting — so he didn’t leave the room, but he was curious.

He continued to stare at the world outside the window as if bewitched.

Tak, tak, tak! A constant sound of footsteps began to be heard.

It was a sound he had heard every time he walked to the library.

Immediately moving from the window, Ethan looked behind himself. Before long, a person appeared between the tall bookshelves that reached the ceiling.

It was Evelyn, her hair as silver and shiny as the landscape he had just seen through the window.

With the Archduke away at the border, she attended the state meetings with the ministers.

It was actually the Archduke’s responsibility, but Evelyn took over the duty in his absence.

And after that, she came upon Ethan like this.

He must have been distracted by the scenery outside the window for too long. It was around noon when Evelyn found him in the library.

“Evelyn.”

“…You’re in the library again today.”

She came to collect Ethan for lunch. This had been repeated over the past few days.

“Are we going to the private room?”

“Yes.”

Ethan returned the book he was holding to its original place and went straight out with Evelyn. He surveyed Evelyn cautiously while walking side by side.

‘I want to talk to you, but it’s not easy.’

Especially since he couldn’t anticipate her reaction. While Ethan was hesitating as he looked at Evelyn, they got closer to the private room.

There was no talk even while taking a seat at the table nor while the servants brought out their meals.

But after the meal, Ethan planned to start the conversation.

Yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

“Have you been very busy today?”

“…It’s always the same.”

Although the reply was delayed by one beat, Evelyn never took her eyes off him. Ethan felt some confusion as he looked into her straight, scarlet eyes.

Evelyn spent most of her time in the office apart from him. He considered helping her in the morning and the evening, but it was literally just a thought. It was something that could not be addressed unless Evelyn first requested it.

He didn’t want anything to happen that could threaten her position in the least.

“I’m worried that you might be overdoing it.”

“…Is there anything out of the ordinary? It’s something I’ve been doing for a long time.”

Ethan felt bitter at the blunt emotionless reply.

Having spent his whole life away from her, he knew it would be difficult to establish a normal sibling relationship.

However, he developed an affection for her while waiting for the day he would meet Evelyn.

So it saddened him every time she drew the line between them.

That was why, on the first day he started going to the library, he was quite surprised that Evelyn chose to invite him for lunchtime.

After a few days of living together, Evelyn didn’t like him that much. He realized that after sensing the clear distance she put between them.

For her, Ethan was just a person who helped with some administrative work of trade inside the Fedora Grand Duchy; nothing more, nothing less.

If he approached her first, she wouldn’t be rude, but she never approached him nor spoke warmly.

Countless times he pondered how he could get closer to Evelyn. Even a few days ago, he canceled the hunting ground visit with Archduke Fedora and accompanied her to the port because of that.

He wanted to get to know Evelyn but didn’t know how to inspire her trust, so he was constantly chasing her.

However, his repeated worries became meaningless at an unexpected moment. Four days ago, Evelyn’s attitude had changed.

She started approaching Ethan.

No, not exactly that. It would be more accurate to say that she began to appear around him.

Originally, before heading to the office, she quietly ate with him, however after she went to the office, she only focused on her documents.

It was clear that her attitude had changed since she didn’t make time with Ethan alone…

“Aren’t you going hunting?”

“You really won’t go to the hunting grounds?”

It was after those random words were spoken. He couldn’t know why, but Evelyn reacted sensitively whenever the phrase ‘hunting ground’ was used.

‘Just why the hell?’

“Oh, I have something to tell you today.”

While lost in thought, Evelyn’s unexpected statement broke through Ethan’s introspection.

Ethan raised his head and waited for her next words with anticipation.

“I think the return of the Archduke will be delayed.”

Unfortunately, Evelyn’s news was not what he wanted.

He was a bit excited about the changes of the past few days and hoped her words were to ask him to do something together.

Disappointed, Ethan swallowed a sigh as he thought about his father.

“…I was worried that he wouldn’t be able to arrive safely.”

Ethan stared out the window apprehensively.

He understood that border conflict couldn’t be taken lightly. However, as the heavy snow had persisted, he was concerned for the Archduke’s safety.

“Will that be okay?” I heard it’s very dangerous when an avalanche occurs…”

He had never personally experienced a natural disaster caused by snow. He began to worry about what to do to assure the Archduke’s safe return.

“…There is no mountain range where the Grand Duke is, so the risk of an avalanche is rare. …And I’m delaying my moves because it’s hard to go out now.”

He felt relief at Evelyn’s answer, and for a moment he thought he heard her add something in a small voice.

He looked away from the window and tilted his head.

“What did you say?”

He asked because he didn’t hear Evelyn properly, but the only answer was a beautiful smile like a portrait.

“I said that the Archduke will be fine.”

‘I was curious about what you said after those words but…’ Oddly enough, he couldn’t ask again.

He thought he had just misheard it and let it pass.

“So, the schedule for the visit to the hunting grounds will be delayed a little more. It would be better to discuss it with His Highness when he returns.”

“…Huh?”

Ethan flinched at the sudden words.

Since they returned the day she guided him around the town, Evelyn hadn’t mentioned the hunting grounds even once.

‘But why today…?’

All thinking stopped for a moment in bewilderment, then he slowly tilted his head to the side.

‘I already said I wouldn’t go, but why would you say that?’

Evelyn appeared sober and calm while looking at him through her blinking eyelids.

However, Ethan surmised the impatience she kept hidden.

‘So, what you just said was… Do you want to hear me say that I don’t want to go? Because you need a definite answer?’

Ethan rinsed his mouth with water and carefully started speaking.

“About the hunting grounds…”

“…Don’t worry about what I said the other day, because it didn’t mean much. If not now while you’re in Fedora, when would you go?”

Ethan was confused by the slightly lengthy reply.

Face to face, Evelyn had no hesitation in speaking her mind.

He had already watched her for over a fortnight, but she never recanted her words.

She accurately conveyed the meaning she was trying to convey, and sometimes her words cut like a knife.

Whenever he talked to Evelyn, every time they had a conversation, he felt it.

She was a clear-minded person.

So it was weird.

From what he had seen so far, Evelyn wasn’t the type of person to talk so vaguely.

If she didn’t want him to go to the hunting ground, she would have said so firmly and straightforwardly.

The preceding words were highly likely to have no special meaning and were uttered for courtesy.

However… ‘Why do I keep worrying about it?’

After agonizing over it, Ethan asked carefully.

“…Do you want me to go hunting?”

Nothing came out of Evelyn’s mouth. She pressed her lips into a thick line as if forcing her mouth shut consciously. Such a reaction reassured Ethan.

Evelyn didn’t want him to go hunting.

‘I don’t know if there’s a meaning behind the hunting ground owned by the Archduke’s family but…’

Evelyn had already shown it.

‘It’s an important issue for that kid.’

It seemed she wanted to make sure he really wouldn’t go to the hunting grounds.

‘Could it be related to my library visits in the last few days?’

Thinking about it, he wanted to laugh.

Somehow prevented from asking him directly not to go there, Evelyn’s dancing around him passively was so different from her usual character.

Always acting as if it was nothing, she talked around the topic, feigning ignorance.

‘…Cute!’