I’m A Villainess, Can I Die? - Chapter 31

Chapter 31

‘Wow, when is this going to end?’

The stairs were really endless. Well, you could see the clock tower even when you got close to the Duke’s residence… It deserved to be this high.

I stopped for a moment on the stairs and wiped my sweat. I climbed it without resting, but I couldn’t tell if I was halfway or if I was almost there. There were windows in the middle, but they were so small and high that I couldn’t look outside. When I looked back, I saw that the bottom was dark. ‘Going back down must be a real chore…’

After wiping off the sweat, I started walking diligently again. If anyone noticed that I had disappeared, there was a nine out of ten chance that they would come this way looking for me.

Lucas must have told someone to keep an eye on the clock tower. And with a high probability, that someone must’ve been Aiden, except for my family. Because Aiden was the person I spent most of my time with.

The light was getting stronger. It looked like I had finally reached the top. A space with small windows appeared, and a large door blocked my way. I stood in front of the wooden door that didn’t seem to be locked and closed my eyes.

‘Selena. This is really the end. It’s the end of my life as Selena, and the end of Selena being alive.

‘How is it? isn’t it miserable? I don’t know why you grabbed me by the neck in my dreams so often, but if we meet in hell, I’ll be grabbing you by the neck as well.’

As I pushed the large wooden door, a magnificent sound resounded through the tower. My hair was fluttering in the gust of wind. A refreshing breeze, not suited to the situation, enveloped my body.

‘If Selena was the main character… Could it have rained in such a crisis-like situation?’

I took off my shoes and held them in my hands. There was a lot of dust on the top of the tower, where people didn’t climb often, but it didn’t matter. Who would point out the soiled feet of a dead person?

I put my shoes neatly on the floor and walked towards the window opposite the large clock. The window at the back was directed towards the uninhabited forest. At least, I shouldn’t fall in front of someone’s eyes and leave a shock to them. I poked my head out through the arched window and looked down at the dense trees. Green, bright things. Even if Selena disappeared from the world, they would remain so green.

‘Ha, is it because I had planned this moment…’ Strangely, I couldn’t take any steps. Improvisation also makes the movement spontaneous.

I hit my thighs a few times. It was only then that I felt the blood circulating as the pain spread to my numb limbs. I sat there, touching the solid window frame. If the wind blew, it just seemed like I would fall to the floor without strength. With that precarious posture, I closed my eyes.

“Sister! Hurry up and read me a book.”

“Sister has a sore throat today.”

“Ah!! How can that be? Does it hurt more than me? Are you more sick than me, who’s lying in the hospital room?!”

A temper as thick as hair…

[tl/n: idiom: means a person gets irritated easily by trivial things]

My younger sister’s cracked voice echoed in my head. My sibling who always considered her things as hers, along with what was mine.

Even if I wanted to hate her… Seeing her moaning and calling my name, I couldn’t easily hate my younger sibling.

‘If we meet in hell, too, I’ll have to slap you on the back. So you have to be healthy there.’

And when I opened my eyes again, a familiar face stood over the open door.

“You caught me.”

“…My Lady, come down from there.”

Aiden swallowed heavily and stuttered. It was like a police officer trying to conciliate a criminal who had taken a hostage. Was Selena’s body a hostage under the current circumstances?

As I raised my hand and repeatedly squeezed and extended it a few times, Aiden took one step closer, trembling violently. It seemed that the hand falling off the floor felt quite precarious.

“My Lady!”

“Aiden.”

When my voice rang in the tower, Aiden stopped moving. I opened my mouth again in a space filled with silence, as if the both of us had stopped breathing.

“Don’t come any closer.”

* * * 

Aiden came running, almost flying to this place. In the middle, it seemed that people were whispering, but he moved before their sentences were even completed, so he couldn’t tell what they were saying.

Looking up at the seemingly endless tower and sweating, Aiden approached the gatekeeper who was sitting at the entrance of the tower in a tense posture.

“Did a woman come here?”

The gatekeeper, who was sitting with a reminiscent face, raised his voice in surprise at Aiden’s sudden question.

“How dare you call the Duke’s princess ‘a woman’!”

“Duke’s princess…? How did you know she was a princess?”

As soon as he uttered the word ‘princess’, Aiden’s eyes darkened. The low voice was terrifying. The gatekeeper’s shoulders shrank in awe at Aiden’s atmosphere. It seemed like he had done something wrong.

‘Maybe that person earlier wasn’t a princess…?’

“That’s it… she showed me the invitation from the imperial family to the Duke… What else…?”

Aiden was dumbfounded and swept his hair up. It seems that the invitation was hidden in her arms in advance. If so, that meant that the purpose of the outing was to come to the clock tower in the first place…

‘When did you come up with such a plan?’

But there was no time to think about it. Aiden showed a notarial deed issued by the Duke. It was an official certificate issued by the Duke, made, just in case, for him, who spent most of the time with Selena. If something happened, it helped to solve things quickly, at least in the Duke’s territory.

The gatekeeper, who looked at the notary, busily rolled his eyes and took an alert posture.

“Do not ask anything, stay away from this tower. Oh…and control the way into the outer road towards the clock tower. You must not let anyone in except the duke’s people.”

When Aiden was done talking to the gatekeeper, he nodded quickly and ran towards the road leading to the square.

Aiden, who watched the man disappear, opened the door and went inside. He bit his lips at the sight of a spiral staircase with no top visible and started running like before.

And at the top of the tower, Selena was sitting narrowly on the large window.

Aiden took a deep breath as he looked at her sitting precariously on the window frame as if she would fall back at any moment blown by the wind. Her closed eyes slowly opened, and Selena opened her mouth with a casual expression and an indifferent voice.

“You caught me.”

The voice was strangely painful. That voice that didn’t change even in this situation… It felt strangely sad.

“…My Lady, come down from there.”

Squeezing out the voice that refused to speak, he barely opened his mouth. Selena lifted her hand resting on the window sill and gently clenched it and opened it a few times.

“My Lady!”

“Aiden.”

Selena put her hand on the window sill again, as if she knew what she wanted, and quietly called out his name.

Just like when she called his name in the bedroom, just like when she called his name on the stairs, taking a walk together, pushing the cake towards him, taking him from the party… Aiden swallowed his breath at the voice that called his name as usual.

“Don’t come any closer.”

No voice came out in response.

In fact, his throat was so blocked that he thought it was Selena, not him, who knew how to use magic. He tried to open his mouth a few times, then gave up and just shook his head.

‘–My Lady, why are you doing this?’

The voice that couldn’t come out just reverberated in her head. And unlike himself, Selena opened her mouth lightly again with her usual voice.

“Why are you trying to save me?”

Aiden frowned at the stupid question.

‘Why am I trying to save… Of course… It’s because…’

“I’ve been ignoring you, hitting you, and insulting you so far… It must have been a cruel time for you.”

The facts that Selena calmly uttered became a scene that reproduced in the back of his head.

‘That was right… ignored and despised, I resented her, hated her, and wanted revenge. If only I could… I would have taken revenge right away.’

“Then why are you trying to save me? Because I didn’t do anything to you these two months? Because I didn’t bother you? Then what if my memory comes back? Then, I might bother you again.”

Aiden couldn’t answer again.

“Even if I die here, you can just say you tried. You know the Duke and Duchess. No one will blame you for it. They won’t kick you out.”

Something hot rushed up to his throat. As the lady said, was it suffering from the past, or…

Was it loyalty to the Young Lady, who was precariously sitting there alone, who had been as kind to him over the past months as she had been unkind before that?

“Just turn around. Pretend you didn’t see anything. Pretend you’re one step late. You… deserve it.”

* * * 

These words were sincere. For these two months, I, not Selena, did not bother Aiden. When I got help, I repaid the favor.

But it was only for two months. I didn’t even respond that seriously. For Aiden, if Selena regained her memories, he never knew when the bullying would start again.

So now, he just had to pretend to be one step late, shed some years and say, ‘I tried, but I couldn’t help it.’ If he thought of it as revenge, it wouldn’t be so uncomfortable.

Aiden’s gaze, which was on me, slowly turned to the floor. He seemed very confused.

“Aiden.”

And I was going to put an end to that confused mind. It was said that the source of magic was the mind and emotions…?

The only wizard in the book was Aiden, so as the character around the main characters, whenever other people asked about magic, this was how he answered. In such a chaotic situation, it would be impossible to use magic easily.

He looked up at me again, eyes covered in confusion. The corners of his lips, which were always smiling, were twisted.

“I’m sorry.”

It was an apology in Selena’s stead. Since I used Selena’s body, and I decided to grant Selena’s wish… Let’s make these last moments clean. It may not be possible to erase everything with these words, but I still had to say it. It was the last word of an apology he hadn’t heard until the very end. Thus, I had to do it and die.

For Selena, for Aiden, for me.

As Aiden opened his mouth with a stupid expression, my vision shifted to the sky one last time.

‘Ah… the sky is clear. The blue sky before sunset… Yeah, it’s very clear.’

“My Lady!!!”

It was so mournfully clear.