I’m A Villainess, Can I Die? - Chapter 42

“Sorry.”

I felt like I was making all the apologies for the rest of my life today.

As soon as I finished my apology, Sir Lucas, who had a dull smile on his lips, shook his head and pressed his forehead firmly. It seems that he was acting like he was relaxed. I was surprised. I thought it was definitely not acting.

Lucas sighed deeply and looked at me with his sharp eyes.

“You weren’t planning on going up to that clock tower.”

As expected, he was making me speechless.

“Sometimes my plans change… That’s how it was.”

That must have been a bad answer, as Lucas’ eyes grew sharper. A beam seemed to come out of his eyes. Maybe there was a hidden villain in the novel? Could it have been Lucas?

“Just kidding.”

At the following words, Lucas let out a small sigh.

“Well, I want you to learn something.”

I didn’t think so? However, I shrugged my shoulders and closed my mouth, thinking that if I brought that up to this point, the situation would be out of control.

“Honestly, I was angry. The day I was away, during those hours. It had only been a few hours. I tried so hard to protect you.”

Yes, I deserved it. He had been following me around. In a matter of hours, that was all in vain. That was why I apologized.

Again, this time, my heart stayed within my heart. Even when I apologized, I had to show a consistent side of myself.

“Yes… I was angry. But not anymore.”

What followed was quite surprising. I thought there was going to be a lot of nagging going on… As I raised my bowed head, our eyes met. He was smiling. The corners of his mouth were raised, and his eyes were curved like crescent moons facing me. Violet purple eyes peeking through the cracks in his curved eyes were alive.

“Because you lived.”

Because I lived. I couldn’t answer anything. It was strange that the stories that felt as if they belonged to Selena were mine. Situations in which I was forgiven just for living… As I nodded my head silently, my crooked eyes opened as usual. With a smile on his lips, Lucas glanced at my arm and wiggled his eyebrows.

“I saw a wound on your arm earlier, so take good care of it, because such a wound will get worse quickly. Priest Ian’s powers ran out as he healed a fatal wound to Selena’s head, and quelled the pain immediately after waking up. He said it will be back in a few days… Be careful in advance.”

“Oh no, he must be exhausted because of me.”

“Is Priest Ian the only one who is exhausted?”

Lucas got up and pushed the chair against the wall. It looked like he was going now. That was a relief. I didn’t have the energy to deal with people anymore. I planned to eat something and go back to sleep after Lucas left.

After organizing his clothes, Lucas nodded at me. I followed, bowing my head, and opened my mouth to reply to his consideration of me just because I was alive.

“My dear brother’s dear friend. I look forward to your continued support.”

Lucas turned his back and looked at me. Again, that villainous smile.

“Please take good care of me, Selena.”

There was joy in the higher-pitched voice than usual. For a moment, I remembered Lucas, who was checking attendance in the past. I had a feeling that something was wrong… I shouldn’t have opened my mouth… ‘I wonder.’

‘Well, it was already spilled water. Let’s just think positively.’

After Lucas walked out upright, I sagged.

Maybe it was because people kept coming and going from the moment I opened my eyes, so this empty room felt quieter. A small sound rang out in the quiet room to the point where it felt sentimental.

Hungry. It felt like I had to fill my hungry stomach. I raised my weak hand and pulled the cord.

After filling my stomach with a watery soup, I didn’t feel like I ate anything. I usually had a little stomach, but this still felt like an empty stomach even after I emptied the plate.

If I ate more than this, what would happen to my body?

‘I shouldn’t be getting sick.’

No, but I was going to die of an illness in 4 years. ‘Oh my God.’ Maybe after 4 years, I would have to eat only these foods.

Soon, Eunji came to mind. Right before she died, Eunji was barely able to survive on fluids because no other kind of food would even pass through her stomach. She shook her head with a pale face, and the peach-colored cheeks that looked like an illusion overlapped on her.

‘Yeah, it’s 4 years later. Let’s think about it 4 years later. For now, as Eunji said, let’s focus on living my life now.’

After I finished eating, I poured in all the after-meal medications, and sat idly on the bed to catch my breath for a moment, the maid serving the meal moved the plates to the tray and cleaned the surroundings.

“Ah, call Aiden on the way out.”

“Yes, My Lady.”

I leaned back against the back of the bed, watching the maid’s back as she pulled out the wheeled tray. It was getting close to night. I was going to ask her to roll up the curtains. I wanted to see the sky…

After a while, it wasn’t Aiden who came in with the sound of a knock, it was the maid who came out with the dishes.

“What about Aiden?”

“They said he left early in the afternoon. And won’t be back until tomorrow.”

‘Left early?’ Looking back, he didn’t look good earlier. But it was obviously because of me that he wasn’t in a good condition… ‘Oh. He left early because of me.’

Stress was definitely the root of all ailments. He was also the one who witnessed the shocking scene firsthand… Could it have been post-traumatic stress disorder?

Suddenly, regret filled my heart. I guess the only thing that awaited my waking up was an apology… First of all, I decided to postpone Aiden until tomorrow. He had to leave early because he was sick, so it would be troublesome to find the cause.

“Ah… Is that so? Then there is nothing we can do. Then, can you roll up the curtains over there?”

“Yes, My Lady.”

The smiling maid rolled up the curtains. The bright moonlight entered the room, but because I was lying on the bed, I couldn’t see the sky.

I really wanted to see the sky today. What a pity.

For a moment, I thought about asking the maid to help me, but, due to the sudden rush of tiredness, I decided to just see the sky in my dream.

‘I must have apologized too much today.’ It seemed that my energy drained away while I offered sincere apologies.

‘Tomorrow, I would like to say thank you to Priest Ian first, then visit Aiden and talk a little…’ My eyes slowly closed as I recalled tomorrow’s schedule with an exhausted body.

*** 

“Miss, how are you today?”

“Except for the stiffness of waking up in the morning… it’s all good.”

The doctor carefully rolled up my sleeves. Of course, the wounds remained unchanged. The more I looked at it, the more colorful it got.

“The bruises are likely to go away in time. If you don’t overdo it with your cracked bones, they will heal quickly, but the problem is…”

The doctor’s gaze glanced at the wound on my left arm. It was not long enough to be sewn up, but it was long enough to leave a scar.

A great wound to the body of a noble. It wasn’t that the doctor’s concerns were something baseless, but honestly, for me, a wound like this was not very impressive.

That was enough to look strong and notable, right? If someone tried to argue, one would roll up their sleeves and go ‘Don’t you know who I am?’ And everyone would run away in response.

If he had known I was thinking such a stupid thing, he wouldn’t have made that face.

“What’s the big deal about this? It’s a miracle that I’m alive.”

As soon as I spoke roughly, the Doctor’s complexion brightened in an instant. Until just now, he was looking at my arm with concern… The Doctor, who jumped up with a smile, pulled Priest Ian’s arm, who was standing behind him.

The priest, bewildered by the sudden action, blinked, and the doctor patted him on the back.

Anyways, I was a little perplexed, too.

“Priest Ian’s power was great! It healed the wound in an instant. Where did such a talented person come from…!”

And then the silly praises continued. As the Doctor looked at Ian, who praised him and nodded his head moderately, Ian’s ears, which were facing me, began to turn redder and redder.

Whether or not he was unaware of the condition of Ian’s ears, which were about to burn away, the Doctor’s excited praises did not stop. He seemed to be very proud of Ian, seeing that he continued to praise him with a patient right in front of him.

“I’m flattered. The other injuries could not be treated due to my lack of strength.”

Ian, who could not bear to hear it, cut his words in the middle. It was a calm tone, but the tone of his voice was higher than when he said hello earlier.

The Doctor, who was speechless, took a deep breath and looked at Ian.

As a momentary silence passed like the climax of the play, Ian glanced at the Doctor.

From a third person point of view, it was quite interesting.

The Doctor, who shut his mouth, shook his head slowly, inhaling, looking straight at Ian, then turned his head to look at me. As I tilted my head, wondering why he was looking at me at this time, the doctor’s mouth, which had been closed, opened wide.

“He is also humble! Don’t worry, miss. Injuries are my specialty! Rest well, as I will heal the wounds on your arm!”

‘No, Doctor. The one who needs treatment right now is Priest Ian, who is melting next to you.’

As soon as the two of them left, the room became quiet. Was the Doctor originally such a noisy person? Priest Ian seemed to have provoked him in some way.

Thanks to that, my ‘thank you’ got very small. Obviously, I lowered my head… ‘Well, did I say my greetings?’

“My Lady, would you like orange juice or grape juice for a snack?”

I looked out the window at the maid’s question. The warm sunlight was pouring in through the window. It was perfect weather for going out. Of course, the weather was perfect for lying down, too.

“No juice, ask to pack one cake or two.”

“Cake?”

“Yeah, cake.”

*** 

After a while, two well-wrapped cakes were in my hand. The maid with the cake still looked at me as if she didn’t understand.

Haha, I had been in a situation where I had to eat soup without a single ingredient for a meal… Suddenly, the cake didn’t suit me.

I offered one of the cakes to the maid who looked at me.

“This is yours.”

Although it had only been three days since I woke up, the maid had stayed by my side and looked after me. She helped me when I woke up in the morning, fed me, washed me, and supported me…. Was there anything more troublesome and difficult than nursing a patient? That was a fact I knew better than anyone.

In that sense, the cake was a gift.

I didn’t know if she liked cake, but since it was a pretty high-end snack of this world, it would be enough to express my sincerity.

“…My Lady…”

As expected, it seemed quite sufficient. The maid, holding the cake with both of her hands, looked at me with a thrilled face.

If the room was filled with tears yesterday, then the room seemed to be filled with excitement today. It seemed that the theme of the room changed daily.

It was pleasant to watch the fidgety maid, drenched in emotion, with the cake in her hand, but there was another person who I had to deliver the cake to before the whipped cream crumbled.

“Help me instead.”

With the cake in her hand, the restless maid nodded her head quickly. It was such a passionate nod that there was a bumping sound. ‘She nodded her head without moving the cake…’ I picked up the cake box next to me as someone came to mind.

After a number of steps, my body staggered heavily before I reached the end where the door was. They were probably the first steps I took after waking up, so it seemed that my legs lacked strength.

The maid, who was shorter than me, stumbled along with me as she was not strong enough to support me. We felt like two newborn baby deer.

‘Oh, shall I give up?’

Thinking of giving up quickly with the door in front of me, I shook my head.

Post-traumatic stress disorder needed to be resolved quickly. Aiden, who boasted professionalism, was shocked to the point he hid himself.

I had never been to the annex of the employees, but I knew where they were. All the employees lived in a large two-story mansion behind the Duke’s mansion.

Considering that most nobles pushed the living spaces of their employees towards the corner of the first floor, it was truly fantastic welfare. ‘Welfare is very important.’

By the time we almost arrived at the employee’s annex, I looked back and let out a small sigh. Sigh. No, my condition alone made me sigh.