I’m Going to Destroy this Country - Chapter 1

What is the most embarrassing moment in life?

When you are misunderstood?

When you are framed?

When you worked hard and didn’t get a fair price?

Anyone had probably experienced such a moment, but,

“I think this disease will be attached to the patient’s name.”

At least hearing such nonsense,

“I think his remaining time is about half a year.”

It would be quite unfair to be sentenced to such a life on death row like this when you haven’t even reached the age of thirty.

‘Huh, what do people do when they win the lottery?’

I am twenty-nine years old.

Without parents, without inheriting anything, I just lived faithfully, but I was sentenced to death out of nowhere.

Not to mention, the day I won the first prize lottery, the day I was happy that I was being rewarded for living diligently like a worker ant, I was sentenced on such a day!

So he said before his death.

“Oh, I really don’t want to die. It doesn’t matter who, I wish someone could keep me from dying.”

I obviously said so.

But I didn’t know that I really wouldn’t die just because I said that.

I didn’t even know that I would become the strongest immortal bone!

“Oh, Your Majesty.”

“The king of undead who has brought us here today!”

Upon hearing praise from the surrounding voices, a single white skeleton let out a small sigh.

[Finally, this nonsense will over.]

“Yes?”

[Now I can finally breathe fire with my tongue*, eat and poop like others do.] (tl/n: is likely a metaphorical expression that means the speaker can now express himself freely and say what he really thinks, without fear of consequences or restrictions. It implies that the speaker feels a sense of liberation and freedom, similar to a mythical dragon breathing fire. But here, to be precise, it means having tongue in general.)

“…Yes?”

[I can finally grow hair on my bald head.]

“…Yes, yes?”

Isaak.

Looking at him from above and from below, he was a bone, and the world called him the worst ‘Skeleton King’.

He was notorious enough that even if people couldn’t remember what their country, called there was no one who didn’t know his name.

In front of him, countless heroes kneeled down and vomited blood, and wherever he led his army, a path of death and corpses that resembled him was left behind.

In other words, a literal corpse Demon King!

Lord of walking skeletons!

A ‘God-defying one’ that even the priest of the Holy Empire couldn’t dare to suppress!

However, even the Demon King had a big problem.

‘Damn it, a body that can’t even poop.’

It must be unfair that he couldn’t spend a single penny of his lottery winnings due to a rare disease and died.

The moment he run out of breath.

He went over to another world and opened his eyes as a white bones, unable to eat, sleep, or feel pain.

And being unable to hold a woman’s hand and becoming a white bone is so filthy unfair that he steadfastly preserves his life and spirit.

He developed the power to evolve from <Skeleton>, the lowest-level summoned monster that was only controlled, to <Lich>, the king of the undead.

It was also good to feed and revive the demons who were on the verge of dying from ruin.

“Master.”

“Our great lord.”

A ferocious Demon King that even the gods fear.

“From majesty to treachery and deceit, our king <Isaak> exudes it all!”

[Hey, how many have you said <Isaak>? You bastards!]

Kim Isak, a Korean, felt frustrated, but he thought it was now okay that these bastards couldn’t even properly pronounce one name after hundreds of years.

[Finally, this damn contract is over today.]

“Yes?”

The Skeleton King’s eyes glimmered fiercely, which weren’t even there, as if he was terribly happy.

[Finally, I can eat and sleep peacefully from today onwards.]

* * *

Isak Kim wanted to become a human.

No, it didn’t matter if it was lion poop or dinosaur eggs, he just wanted a body that wasn’t a bone.

However, no matter what he tried, he could never escape from being an undead corpse.

But it didn’t matter.

-Oh, Demon King, let’s make a contract.

The gods proposed this to Kim Isak, who stood at the top of the demons.

-If you fulfill our demands, we will make you human in return.

And 10 years after the contract with the gods.

Thud!

-!

The giant’s head fell into the world of the gods.

Realizing that the owner of the neck was the enemy of the gods who terrorized the divine realm, the gods turned white.

-Crazy.

The gods were speechless as they saw the skeleton carrying the giant’s head.

-That madman really brought it.

And the Skeleton Demon King, who took the giant’s head, flashed his missing eyes.

[Alright, with this we have taken care of all the rebel forces that resisted the gods.]

-…!

The gods made a great noise.

-What kind of crazy guy…!

-10 years! In just that short amount of time…!

Dealing with all the calamities that even the gods hadn’t touched for thousands of years!

The Skeleton King’s eyes flashed.

[Now that you’ve done hollow words, pay me for my work. You said you would make me human if I completed all 12 requests?]

Then the god who was in charge of the request came running right away.

-Sorry for making you wait! I didn’t expect you to handle the tasks so quickly…

[What?]

-It’s not easy to just turn a person like you into a human? In that sense, if you could be patient and do one more task, we could pay you as well.

Then, the Skeleton King chuckled amiably.

[Really? Just one more task? Well, that should be easy and simple enough.]

-Then…

Bam!

[Fuck, even if you pour water on the skeleton, it’s not enough. What, are you trying to make a fool out of me?]

-!

The Skeleton King was emitting a fierce aura.

In fact, he overheard an unexpected story on his way here.

-The truth is, there is no way to turn that Skeleton Demon King into a human?

-What? Really? Then why did you make a contract with that Skeleton Demon King?

-Well, there isn’t any way to make him disappear because he was summoned through forbidden magic and he’s a non-existent entity outside the law. He’s undead and has no lifespan. His abilities are so dangerous that they threaten both the mortal and divine realms. So the decision was made to use his power for the gods. How about that?

-I see. That’s a very pressing matter.

-That’s right… ahh! Skeleton King!

Remembering the back story, the Skeleton King approached the gods, recalling their conversation.

[What? Do I have to do something good in the divine realm and wash away my sins to become human? Just handle the 12 troublesome disasters that go against the gods, and that’s all?]

The gathered gods were taken aback by his spirit. The faces of the whispering gods showed a look of annoyance.

-What should we do? It seems like henoticed.

-Oh, didn’t we oppose this from the beginning? How could we have summoned such a rascal to the divine realm?

-Gee, we didn’t expect that 12 subjugations requested would only take 10 years… But each subjugation took at least 500 years…

As if to cut off their conversation, a frightening explosion sound was heard.

[Is that all you have to say?!]

Thud!

The Skeleton King was furious, as if he could tear off the skins of the gods’ faces.

[You guys, you didn’t even intend to make me human from the beginning, did you?]

The gods laughed as if wondering why they should take his words seriously.

-Don’t you know that everything we do is for your sake? Why are you so obsessed with being human? How comfortable is that body? You don’t have to eat, sleep, or die…

[Get out of here! Do you understand how I feel?]

He still couldn’t forget the moment he became a skeleton overnight.

‘With this, the Demon King is born!’

The face of the summoner who had summoned him, a soul from another realm, with the intention of creating the strongest Demon King!

The faces of the people who had been running away from him for hundreds of years, regardless of gender, and the faces of the priests and knights who had tried to kill him as a mere low-level monster!

But actually, what was more important than those things was,

[I really hate horror, gore, and anything related to skeletons, corpses, or blood! Do you know how crazy it makes me every morning when I look in the mirror?!]

-…?!

So the Skeleton King stared even more disgustingly towards the Palace of the Gods in the heavens.

He had already spent his entire life providing for his subordinates, unable to save any money for himself.

[For 10 years, I’ve been cleaning shoes, sweeping the barn, massaging, and exterminating pests. I’ll have to take on the emotional damage treatment fees and funeral expenses for nothing in return.]

Then the gods stepped forward to block his path, their footsteps heavy.

-We should be the ones receiving compensation for emotional damage!

[What? Hey?]

-Didn’t you eat several of the treasure-level potions from the divine realm while you were here!

Then, the Skeleton King smirked as if to say, ‘What are you talking about?’

[What kind of treasure-level potion doesn’t even make your hair grow? It’s just scalp moisturizer and a red energy drink.]

-Moisturizer… energy drink…?!

-You call that a potion that contains tens of thousands of years of divine essence? Wait a minute. Did you just say it was red?

[Uh. The one that was sealed in the dragon-patterned box.]

The gods doubted their ears.

What the Skeleton King is talking about was undoubtedly the creation treasure of the divine of the gods, kept in the deepest part of the divine vault…

Treasure?!

-Did you drink that?!

-And you went into the restricted area?!

[Oh, don’t worry. I didn’t want to waste what was left, so I used it to clean my feet. The scent was quite nice.]

-…?!

[Why? I was told I can eat all the healing potions in the box.]

The gods grabbed the back of their necks.

Surely, that box couldn’t have contained the treasure chest?

They were beginning to have trouble communicating with this lawless pirate.

‘Of all the Forbidden Eight Treasures, it had to be this one.’

-No, it went well in the first place. This is the only chance to eliminate all the demons while you’re in the divine realm.

-It’s a shame to have found such a useful demon only to waste him like this.

At the story of breaking the treaty and getting rid of his subordinates, the Skeleton King’s eyes flashed terrifyingly, as if to say, ‘When did I joke around about you guys?’

[You guys and me? Even though this is your home, you should bring at least the equivalent of a divine general if you want to face me?]

The Skeleton King, exerted his strength, breaking the treaty and even killing some of them.

Thud!

The ground shook, and several lower gods flinched as if they were embarrassed by the magical energy that was on a different level than before.

-We didn’t just take on the form of a Demon King for nothing! Aren’t we beings that can’t be destroyed?! How are you going to deal with this…!

But it was at that moment.

Crack!

[Kuu!]

Suddenly, the Skeleton King stumbled. The magic he was using disappeared.

And that wasn’t all.

‘I can’t move my body.’

At the same time, a sneer was heard towards the bewildered Skeleton King.

-It’s useless. No one whose name is written here can move.

[!]

The Skeleton King, who saw the gods, was surprised.

It was because of the object they were holding.

‘A bug?’

It was a preserved form of a dead bug.

However, it was an object that sealed any disaster without leaving even a trace of magic.

-Do you know how this world has been maintained until now? It’s all thanks to these. Many past disasters were sealed in them.

As proof, when the preserved bug with the Skeleton King’s name on it shone, the Skeleton King felt like his soul was leaving.

In the end, the Skeleton King laughed as if he had no regrets.

[Bastards, the contract was a bait, and the purpose was to extract and seal my soul from the beginning?]

It was only then that the gods revealed their true colors, as if they were gracious.

-Did a dirty Demon King like you ever think of stepping on the same land as the gods?

-Just being able to use our hands and feet should be appreciated, yet you dare to ask for rewards without hesitation.

[What? You bastard??]

-Well, we were told to use it when you knew the truth, but you found out faster than expected.

-Still, go in peace. I prepared a new body that looks just like you. Aren’t you grateful?

The appearance of the preserved bug was none other than a squirming bald maggot.

The Skeleton King breathed out murderous intent and his eyes flashed.

[Can’t you at least bring me back as a hairy caterpillar?!]

-Huh, are you still obsessed with that hair? Oh well, it’s fine. Your skeleton body and your subordinates will serve as slaves for the rest of their lives, so stop talkkk…ing?!

Crack!

The gods who were in the process of sealing the soul were startled.

Gold began to appear on the preserved bug that was binding the soul of the Skeleton King.

As the gods panicked at the sight, they heard laughter that sent chills down their spines.

[Fools. If you want to do it, you should have done it in an instant without being noticed!]

-Hey, wait a minute!!!

Something was wrong, and before they could even think about it, a great explosion occurred in the divine realm.

Bamm!

Finally, after the explosion, the gods regained their senses.

They were horrified at the white debris of the shattered divine realm.

-That crazy… bastard!

-Self-destruct with his own body! Is he sane!

However, the higher gods froze for a different reason.

-The bastard! Did the spell activate properly?

-Yes, yes?

-If you even miss the Skeleton Demon King, there will be a really irreversible problem!

They were gods whose expressions changed for the first time in hundreds of years, but that was only for a moment.

They found preserved maggot in the rubble.

The once-hardened maggot was now wriggling.

-The spell has been properly activated, and the Demon King’s soul seems to have entered properly.

Only then did the higher gods feel deeply relieved when they heard of the Demon King’s imprisonment.

-Then it’s over.

The gods sighed, watching the bug being dragged away frantically, as if asking for help.

-That crazy guy, how much damage did he cause alone…?

-However, that Demon King lived because he was an <Undead> that was fatally weak to divine power. Otherwise, this method would have been impossible.

-Yes. He was trying to become human, but he must have been trying to get rid of that one weakness. Human bodies are close to divinity.

The gods laughed heartily.

-Then let’s take this opportunity to kill all the demons. Every time we kill them, won’t it make us stronger?

-Sounds good. We’ll treat the pretty ones as slaves.

-They are the Demon King’s subordinates. They are not easy to kill, and we gods can’t directly intervene in mortality.

-Then what else can we do…?

But at that moment, the elder god raised his arm.

-‘Preaching’ revives the gods.

-!

-I will make a vessel for the Saint, the preacher, with all my strength, and give it to the human realm. If we entrust all the power of demon extermination and preaching to the Saint, everything will be fine.

-Yes? Are you sure about that? It must take a lot of your power…!

-Sleeping for a thousand years is fine. Therefore, be sure to choose a pretty soul who listens to us well and let it dwell in the vessel of the precious Saint.

-The bug that imprisoned the Demon King was sealed in a deep place that no one can access and closely monitored.

-Yes!

With this, the name of the Demon King who has been disturbing the minds of the gods for hundreds of years will disappear. They breathed a sigh of relief as they watched the bug that led to the torture chamber.

-We’ll have to torture that Skeleton Demon King for the rest of his life and make him come to his senses inside the bug.

* * *

Yeah, come to your senses.

It feels good to come to your senses.

When a skeleton lives for hundreds of years, it can suffer from human-like feelings, have its soul extracted, and even be sealed in a bug and tortured.

Yeah, that’s true, but…

“Oh my, little dear Saint, have you woken up?”

The Skeleton King was perplexed by what had happened to him.

What? Who’s little?

Why isn’t he a maggot?

No, more importantly…

‘A Saint? Who’s a Saint??’

Tl/note: Ugh, chapters in this title are pretty big (over 3 000 words), so I will divide the next. I just didn’t divide this one, cuz it’s the first chapter.