I’m Harry Potter - Chapter 5

When I woke up my closet was filled with clothes. I hate shopping so having little minions do my bidding is a godsend. Cleaning myself up and getting changed I head downstairs and see Mimsy cooking in the kitchen. I just noticed but she’s wearing rags. I can’t have my house elves looking like that and it’s just sad to look at. Wait where are they sleeping and what are they eating? Taking a seat in the kitchen I resolve myself to get this done quickly.

“Mimsy where are you and the other elves living and what do you eat every day?” I asked.

“We be sleeping in the forest and eating from the forest too.” Mimsy said.

“Ok, so you hunt and gather food from the forest? (Mimsy nods) Do you sleep in tents or anything like that?” I asked.

“No, we founds a cave and sleep in there.” She said looking proud. Oh god, she’s proud to sleep in a cave. Wizards have really messed these guys up.

“Mimsy I would like to change some things about your living arrangements. Does Pride manner have servants quarters? (Mimsy nods) Good, I want all the elves to move into the servants quarters.” I said and she looked at me weirdly.

“You’s don’t mind us elves living in a house? Other masters say elves is dirty creatures and they don’t want us in their house.” She said.

“Well I’m not other masters and your my servant, right? (she nods) Well, how am I going to have servants not living in their quarters? Its called servant quarters for a reason you know.” I said and she looks like she finally understood me.

“Now moving on I want you to start stocking extra food for the elves. Theirs no reason you have to eat from a forest.” I said

“Don’t be wasting master good food on us elves.” Mimsy said looking appalled at even eating her master’s food.

“How much time is wasted hunting and gathering food a lot right? Well, that time can be better spent doing your duty’s like cleaning and other things.” She looks disgusted with herself for wasting her masters time when she could’ve been doing her house-elf duty’s.

“I see you understand. The final problem I have is I want all of my elves to wear proper clothes no more pillowcases or rags.” Mimsy started hyperventilating at the thought of being given clothes. To a house-elf being given clothes meant they’re fired. When clothes are exchanged the bond I felt when the elves pledged themselves to me would disappear. With the bond gone they could no longer feed on their masters magic losing their ability to do magic and slowly die. Most fired house elves go to Hogwarts and work there because Hogwarts is built on intersecting ley lines. They feed off the ambient magic in the air and that keeps them alive with no master. Speaking of which that’s where all my elves came from.

“Mimsy I’m not going to give you clothes please relax. What I mean is I want you elves to get your own clothes. Something nice that represents house Potter and Black. I can’t have my elves walking around looking homeless. How would people think about me if my servants look so bad?” I said and she starts to get it. Damn it’s so easy to manipulate house-elves.

After that everything went smoothly Mimsy explained it to all the other elves and they moved into pride manor. I told Mimsy that butler outfits for the men and maid outfits for the woman would be fine(not s.e.xy maid outfits god that would be horrible). I had to make clear that they had to take care of themselves like showers and brushing their teeth etc. We had to get them some basic necessities like soap, toothbrushes, etc. I can’t believe I have to coerce elves into taking care of themselves, but if I have to I’ll make them into the healthiest elves in the world. Their the most convenient loophole in Harry Potter the least I can do is take care of them a little.

After fixing all my house elf problems it was time to go to 12 Grimmauld Place and see Kreacher. Mimsy in her new maid outfit apparated me to the front door and knocked on it. After a minute of waiting, no one came so I had Mimsy apparate us inside. As I looked around I could see that the house is dark and dirty. It seems Kreacher isn’t doing his job. As I walked into the house I saw the portrait of Walburga looking at me with hostility. Probably because I’m wearing muggles clothes.

“Who are you entering my house uninvited?” Walburga said looking hostile. Probably because I’m wearing muggle clothes.

“My name’s Harry Potter and this isn’t your house it’s mine.” I show her my ring and she looks shocked.

“Oh, how my family has fallen a Potter will be lord of the prestigious Black family. We have been pure thus far and now a filthy half-blood will be lord Black.” She looked genuinely sad about that. Man, these pureblood fanatics are weird. How do they not understand that after marrying the same limited ‘pure blood’ family’s sooner or later there will be birth defects in the children? Cant swim in your own gene pool or else there will be consequences.

“Well if it makes you feel better your just a portrait and the real you is dead so she won’t have to witness me becoming lord Black.” I said chuckling right after.

“Now I have some business with Kreacher it was nice meeting you.” I said walking past a sad and angry Walburga. I go to the living room having Mimsy clean an armchair and take a seat.

“Kreacher!” I said and a pop later he was in front of me.

“Hello, Kreacher I’m Harry Potter the new heir of house black.” I said showing the ring.

“How does filthy half-blood Harry Potter become heir to noble and pure house black?” He said in a gruff voice.

“My grandmother was Dorea Black.” I said.

“What you need from Kreacher filthy half-blood heir?” He asks

“Are you still loyal to house black Kreacher?” I asked and he looked affronted.

“Kreacher has always been loyal to Black family!” He said sternly.

“Oh, really then why is the house your in charge of such a mess? How dare you say that your a loyal elf while this house stands in ruins of what it once was. This place is filthy!” I said wiping my finger on a dusty coffee table. Maybe I’m laying it on a little thick, but with Kreacher, you have to break him down and build him back up. He starts to look ashamed of himself and his ears droop down. You might say ‘but he has no master so he can’t do magic to clean’ which is wrong because this house is built on a ley line like Hogwarts just not nearly as strong. Even if that was the case he could at least dust.

“I see you regret keeping this house so filthy so I will forgive you this once, but the house must be clean by tomorrow. Now on to the next disappointment you’ve brought on house black. Why is the locket Regulus asked you to destroy still intact?” Kreacher’s eyes widen.

“How does filthy heir know about master Regulus’s locket?” He asked

“It doesn’t matter how I know what matters is it’s not destroyed. The last heir of house Black my predecessor asked you to do something why is it not done?” I said looking at Kreacher menacingly, or as menacing as a five-year-old can look.

“Don’t you think Kreacher has tried! No matter what Kreacher does the locket stays the same.” Kreacher looked on the verge of tears.

“And why haven’t you taken it to Gringotts?” I asked.

“What would grubby goblins know of master Regulus’s Locket?” He asks

“Well, Gringotts has curse breakers right? Well if the locket is cursed then you can remove the curse.” I said and Kreacher’s eyes go wide. I guess he never thought of that.

“Well go get the locket and we’ll go to Gringotts. I don’t have all day so be quick.” I ordered and he pops away and back with the locket wrapped in a dirty cloth. Once we arrived at Gringotts we are taken to a conference room again and I have Barrat get Rodrak again. I explained why we were there and they were more than willing to help. Kreacher demanded to see the destruction of the locket so he went to watch. His beloved master died to get that locket, he needed to see it done. A half an hour later Kreacher came back to the conference room with a horcruxless locket and tear-filled eyes. He walked up to me and grabbed my hand.

“Kreacher pledges to serve filthy half-blood Harry Potter.” He said with a look of disgust our hands lit up as I felt the bond and pull on my magic. Kreacher popped away taking the locket with him leaving me shocked.

(Thanks for reading!)