I’m Nine Again - Chapter 18 12 Hours Of Near Silence

[20/01/2008 – 7:30]

The soft sound of my morning alarm started to sound and lift me from my sleep. The warm weight of Alice’s head started to move and shift around on my chest as we both began to stir to the sound. She had one arm stretched across my body and one leg tangled between mine as I held her head lightly to my chest in the embrace.

I reached over to the table and turned off my alarm, the slight movement of my body being enough to stir Alice from her sleep completely. She took a moment before she shot up out of the bed, taking the blanket to cover her body, leaving me naked on the bed.

“Hey!” I said tugging at the blanket, “What are you doing?”

“I-,” she stuttered, “Oh my god, what were we thinking!” she said in embarrassment with her face all red.

“Are you kidding me?” I asked, “You’re having second thoughts now?”

“It’s more complicated than just having second thoughts Sean,” she said.

“Alice you came into my room!” I said, “I don’t understand what I’ve done wrong!?”

“No,” she said, “It’s not something that you’ve done, it’s just something that we’ve done. I mean, it’s just complicated,” she said.

“Then tell me what it is?” I asked, “help me understand what the problem is so that I can help fix it!”

“We just let our hormones get the better of us!” she said.

“Bullshit!” I told her, “Hormones made you tell me that you see me as a priority? You do this every time we get close Alice and I don’t understand it!”

“Sean, there are so many things going through my head whenever I’m close to you,” she said, “It’s more than just how I feel about you.”

“But do you take into account how I feel about you?” I asked, “How it hurts me whenever we get close and then you’ll pull away and avoid me, sometimes for days!”

“Sean, I’m sorry, I really am,” she said, “There’s just so much going through my head right now and I can’t even make sense of my own thoughts or emotions!”

She started to collect the various pieces of her clothing that had been scattered around the room and putting them on underneath the blanket while I covered myself with a pillow from the bed.

“Alice it hurts,” I said, “How many times does this need to happen?” I asked, “You whisper sweet nothings into my ears and make me fall in love with you over and over again and then you just ghost me!”

She finished getting dressed and threw the blanket back to me on the bed. I grabbed the blanket and wrapped my self in it before standing up.

“I’m sorry Sean,” she said, “I just need time. This is all too much for me.”

She walked out of the room apologising again as I walked over to the door and called out after her.

“You need to stop treating me like a tool to sort out your emotions because you know that I’m going to keep coming back like a stray dog!” I called.

She walked into her room and closed the door behind her. I walked back into my room and picked the pillow that was on the floor, across the room.

“FFFFUCK!” I yelled to no one in particular. More to myself.

It had been one of the hardest things over the years, getting close to Alice. I had to forget repeatedly that we weren’t even in our own bodies. We would get close, I would fall in love. I thought that she felt the same way every single time. Especially last night. But just like every other time, when we get too close, she will back away, and ignore me. Usually after telling me how much I mean to her.

It hurt because I knew that this time would follow the exact same pattern as every other time. Now we are going to avoid each other, not speak to each other. It would make me hate her. But I would hate her so much that I would love her, and my mind would go crazy over how much I love this girl that I hate. I didn’t want to hate her, I didn’t want to stop talking to her, but I don’t get a choice in this. I’ll just get stepped on again and again and no matter how many times it happens, I won’t have the strength to walk away. I will always come running back when she beckons. Like a loyal little dog.

* * * * * *

The car trip from Canberra to Melbourne was quiet. Harry was in the driver’s seat and Alice was in the passenger’s seat. She had her earphones in and was listening to music while staring out the window. I was laid down in the back seat, stretched out across all three seats with the middle seatbelt around my waist as we traveled along the highway. Every time I saw the reflection of Alice in the window, I scrunched up my face and tried to ignore it and forget our conversation this morning. Forget our conversation last night, and just pass everything she told me off as a sick lie.

Riiiiing! Ring!

My phone started to chime as a call was coming through. I looked down at the caller ID. It was Scarlet. Since that time, she invaded Alice’s house five years ago, we’d been in contact twice. The first time was to thank me for our help in the Brindabella Mountains. She paid someone at the Freedom Front for my contact information. Like her friend, she tried to recruit both Alice and I to join the effort of the Preservationists. I declined, we had our own goals after all. The second time was only a year ago to once again ask us to work for them. This time it was a support role. She must be very close to someone in the freedom front who kept giving her information. It’s strange because the Freedom Front is actively trying to change the future with the early adoption of advanced technology. Her contact had told her that we were purchasing large amounts of stealth weaponry. She offered us $1million to lease a drone that we owned. After large amounts of deliberation with Alice and Grey, we agreed to lend her the drone for $1.5 Million. She ended up crashing that drone in Pakistan on what she told us was a mission to save the timeline. She passed it off as, “Oh well, your loss, bye.” We wouldn’t normally help the Preservationists, but if they were actively fighting the NWO, which they do, and what this mission was about, then we figured that we were helping the lesser of two evils. It’s not like we were going to fight them.

I answered the call and a video feed showed up on the stream. Scarlet was on the other side sitting in the passenger seat of an armored personnel carrier. Outside of the windows was sandy desert as far as the eye could see. Her auburn red hair was tied up in a bun with a few grey streaks appearing sporadically throughout her hair.

“Scarlet,” I said, “And to what do I owe the pleasure of receiving a call from you?” I asked.

“It’s been a while, Sean,” Scarlet replied with a manipulative smile.

“Let me guess what you’re calling me about,” I said, “Could it be that you’re worried I’m going to run around telling everyone about how bad the GFC is. Or maybe your friend at FF has told you about our recent purchase of military-grade scuba equipment and you’re checking up on me to see whether it’s for a holiday to the Bahamas?”

She shook her head maintaining her smile as I listed off different, joking reasons as to why she called.

“Maybe you’ve finally decided to pay us back for crashing that drone in Pakistan!?” I said with confidence, “That has to be it!”

“Sorry Sean my boy, but that’s your loss,” she said, “Sorry, not sorry.”

“Oh!” I said, “Sorry, not sorry. That’s an interesting colloquialism, used by teens in the 2010’s. I’m slowly narrowing down your age. You’d better watch out.”

My speech was flirtatious, and I was being loud enough that Alice should have been able to hear me through her headphones. I wanted her to hear me flirting with Scarlet. I want her to know that she isn’t the only person in the world.

“You should know to never ask a woman her age Sean,” Scarlet replied, equally flirtatious, “I called so maybe we could meet up and discuss my age together, maybe at the location of your secret base?” she asked.

“Yeah, that would be great!” I said, “You can find our base at 123 Fake st RealCity.”

“Damn,” she said, “I thought I had you this time.”

“So, what’s up?” I asked, “What do you want?”

“As you can see,” she said looking around her, “We are still in Pakistan and we have some information that might be interesting to you.”

“If you’re giving us information then there has to be something in it for you,” I said, “You’re not that generous.”

“Agreed, I’m not generous at all,” she said, “Unfortunately, the NWO has figured out the location of our base in Australia and they are planning to raid it in a few days,” she said, “I’d like it if you and you’re little girlfriend could blow the base up for us,” she said.

“Please, girlfriend?” I said loudly, “Alice is nothing more than a work colleague. We have the same values and the same mission, that’s about as far as our relationship extends.”
for visiting.

I noticed Alice shift uncomfortably in her seat when I spoke those words. Good. I wanted her to know how it felt to have your significance reduced in a matter of seconds with nothing more than words.

“What are we going to get out of this if we blow your base up?” I asked, “Surely you’re not expecting us to do this for free.”

“Of course not, you two will be able to access all of our data before you blow up the base,” she said, “I’m sure your guys wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to learn all about what we’ve been doing for the past few years.”

“You’d really trust us with all of that information?” I asked, “Why didn’t you get your friend at FF to send a drone or something to blow it up?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Sean,” she said, “I did ask them, they wanted nothing to do with military action, they just want to sell the stuff.”

“Well, I am interested to see what information you have on Alice and I, so I’m sure we could work something out,” I said, “I’m also interested in learning what you’re doing in Pakistan as well so I guess I’ll have a field day with all of this data. I’m so happy you decided to share this with me.”

“Again, don’t flatter yourself,” she said, “So you guys will do it?” she asked, “I don’t want to be sending you the location of our base if you’re just going to grab the data and leave.”

“Yeah,” I said, “Send me the location and we’ll blow it up for you. Using your own explosives of course. We don’t want to be using any of our own.”

“I figured as much from a bunch of money-hungry children like you guys,” she said.

“Hey, we aren’t children,” I said, “I’m a man trapped in a boys body.”

“Well let me know when your boy body turns 18 and we can meet up, you can show me how much of a man you really are,” she said winking at the camera.

“Ha!” I laughed, “As tempting as that is, you and I both know that the second you see me you’ll kill me.”

“You’re not wrong,” she said, “I’ll send you the information, make sure you destroy it!”

“Will do,” I said, “Have fun in Pakistan!”

“This is the best spring break ever!” she said.

I hung up the phone and waited for a moment before I kicked the back of Alice’s seat. She snapped her head back to look at me. It was obvious that she had been crying. I couldn’t tell whether it was because of me or not.

“What!?” she bit.

“I take it you heard that call?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said, “We’ll go and blow up their base, whatever. I’m in the mood to watch shit explode.”

“Wow, funny,” I said, “I’m in the same mood where I just want to watch things burn!”

Harry looked at me through the mirror and then turned his head to look at Alice before returning his gaze to the road.

“Everything okay between you two?” he asked.

“Everything’s fine!” we both snapped back in unison.

“Okay,” Harry said, clearly a bit shocked by the response, “Just checking.”