Irl Console - Volume 1 Chapter 8 I Love Coc Part 2
“Yaaaassss! Preach it Queen!”
Dave’s face reddened as two nearby flamboyant gay men responded to his earlier outburst. There was no need to explain himself and Dave thought it would be more amusing to just go with it. He turned his head, looking over his shoulder at the pair and said “Thankssss hunnies!” before turning and mincing away with the fiercest walk he could muster whilst trying not to burst out laughing.
Once he was a bit away he returned to his normal stride and checked out his surroundings. The great thing about the Big Apple was that everyone was too absorbed in their own life to care what one was doing for more than a few seconds. As Dave looked around he thought to himself that it was one thing to see Times Square on television but it was truly something to behold in person. The lights, the billboards, the constant hustle and bustle of the crowds… It was incredible. Dave certainly wouldn’t want to actually live there but for a trip it was totally worth it. There was a money changer over next to the huge golden arches of McDonald’s so that was Dave’s first stop. As a northern snow monkey, he only had Canadian Dollars.
Once he changed his beautiful modern polymer bank notes into the old skool paper of the US Federal Reserve he calculated that he only had just over five minutes to find a place (that wasn’t McDonald’s) to go get an authentic NYC bagel.
Maybe the Skyrim map could actually help him here. Obviously it wouldn’t be any help if it was a map of Skyrim but since the console had real world locations listed in its memory Dave figured it was more than likely to also map the real world.
*m*
Dave wasn’t disappointed. The only problem was that it listed EVERYTHING. Luckily there was a filter so Dave imagined clicking on it and sang “bagel” in his mind. It worked. Just a few blocks north of Times Square was a restaurant called Pick a Bagel. It was a little far to walk in the limited time he had so Dave decided to CoC instead.
*m* *~* [help “PickABagel” 4] *return*
[—-VIEWER STRINGS NOT AVAILABLE——–
—-OTHER FORMS—————–
LOC: (000080046FD0083640D6C51) “PickABagel8thAveExterior”
LOC: (000080046FD0083640D6C52) “PickABagel8thAveInterior”
…
…
Dave decided it was best to appear outside the store rather than inside. After all, he couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t appear in the back room or behind the counter or something like that.
[coc PickABagel8thAveExterior] *return*
Boom! Dave loved the feeling of just instantly teleporting places. Of course, the sound effect was only in his mind. The only problem this time was that there was someone walking straight towards him that was only about two paces away. Dave would need a quick sidestep as soon as he exited the console to avoid the guy.
*~*
Sidestep. Dave’s appearance had obviously startled the man who was looking directly at him when he appeared but he kept on walking, took another look back over his shoulder, and muttered to himself about laying off the coffee for a while.
Suppressing a grin, Dave walked into Pick A Bagel and joined the queue. The place was popular as many New Yorkers were crammed into the store to get their breakfast. When it was his turn to order Dave decided on a classic bagel with cream cheese and an Americano. He wasn’t much of a coffee drinker but he wanted to be able to say he tried New York ‘cwafee’ at some point. The store was too crowded to eat in so he decided that he should go check out Central Park. Walking out to the street after he picked up his order, Dave once again checked the map before entering the console.
*~* [help “BethesdaFountain” 4] *return*
[—-VIEWER STRINGS NOT AVAILABLE——–
—-OTHER FORMS—————–
LOC: (000080046FD0083600A7D2C) “BethesdaFountainCentralParkSouth”
…
…
[coc BethesdaFountainCentralParkSouth] *return* *~*
Beautiful! Even on a somewhat overcast day it was great to look at the fountain. Behind him, the Bethesda Terrace had a few couples milling around. Dave quickly went over to a bench near the fountain and started munching on his bagel. Rather, inhaling it. It was delicious but unfortunately his time was getting rather tight. Just as he finished his bagel, Dave was approached by a wandering street vendor selling little trinkets as souvenirs. Thinking that it would be nice to have something as a keepsake to remind him of his first CoC getaway Dave had a look at the guy’s wares. They were mainly little statues and key chains. The usual mini Empire State building and Statue of Liberty statuettes. There were, however, a couple of things that looked completely unrelated to NYC but yet, in Dave’s mind, still looked cool. The one he settled on was a key chain of a chainsaw wielding bunny rabbit. It was doubtful that it would ever actually be attached to any keys but it was a nice keepsake of New York.
After buying his souvenir Dave decided that it was time to head back. Before that, though, there was something he’d been meaning to try out.
*i*
Dave looked at his inventory screen and scrolled through it. He really had too many clothes in there… He switched tabs to the miscellaneous tab and there he saw it: R> Ballistic Bunny key chain. The inventory showed the key chain as being equipped in his right hand.
*e*
The arrow before the item disappeared indicating that it was currently unequipped and in his inventory. Dave was delighted. He now knew how to store things in his inventory rather than just directly spawning them there. Before, when he had first discovered the inventory he had only thought of actually equipping things from there or dropping them. Now he was actually able to use his inventory properly. Next Dave imagined right clicking on the key chain and the R> arrow appeared again.
*i*
Holding the key chain in his right hand, Dave then tried to see if he could send it to his inventory like sheathing a weapon in Skyrim.
*r*
The key chain vanished and Dave smiled as he thought.
“Bet Penn and Teller would have a field day with this trick.”
*r*
The key chain appeared in his hand once again. Dave picked up his ‘cwafee’ in his left hand before once again ‘sheathing’.
“Nice! Alright, time to go back. Shit! I don’t know the name for the cell at work! OK, well, there seems to be a common naming theme so lets go with an educated guess.”
*~* [help “IslingtonChiropracticClinic” 4] *return*
[—-VIEWER STRINGS NOT AVAILABLE——–
—-OTHER FORMS—————–
LOC: (000070052FC0023500B810B) “IslingtonChiropracticClinicTorontoExterior”
LOC: (000070052FC0023500B810C) “IslingtonChiropracticClinicTorontoRoom1Interior”
LOC: (000070052FC0023500B810D) “IslingtonChiropracticClinicTorontoRoom2Interior”
LOC: (000070052FC0023500B810E) “IslingtonChiropracticClinicTorontoRoom3Interior”
…
…
LOC: (000016042FD002350800421) “IslingtonChiropracticClinicLondonExterior”
…
…
[coc IslingtonChiropracticClinicTorontoRoom2Interior]
Dave prayed that the room labels followed the room numbers that they actually used in the practice. It would be awkward if he appeared in Dr. McGeown’s room instead of his own. If it was the other room then it would be alright as Dr. Tang wasn’t in today.
*return*
“Shit! The Gods ignored me again. How rude! Luckily I’m still paused!”
Dave had appeared right in front of his colleague and buddy Pete McGeown. He looked forward to having a chat with him but appearing out of thin air right in front of him wasn’t the conversation starter he was looking for.
[coc IslingtonChiropracticClinicTorontoRoom1Interior] *return*
“That’s better. I guess this is room 1 as far as the console is concerned.”
*~*
As Dave waited in his room for his first client to arrive he thought about how the console worked a little. The search for his clinic had ignited a curiosity in him. Were the locations already named like that and he just got lucky or did the search manifest in accordance with his intent? It could be worthy of future study but for the moment it didn’t really matter to Dave. He was just happy that he managed to take a trip to New York and back in less than twenty minutes. This was the beginning of a beautiful future! Dave could already imagine it… C.o.c.ktails on a Southern Pacific island beach whilst the rest of his fellow syrup drinking snow monkeys were freezing in the great white north. Today was going to be a great day. Not even the heartsinks in the afternoon could bring him down. It was official. Dave loved CoC.
