Is My Life Ordinary? - Chapter 94

I can’t remember the exact time I lost my consciousness but the last thing I could recall is that I and that caretaker were arguing and then I fell on the ground.

I wonder which part touched the ground first. If it was the face then I must have gotten injured near the nose region, I guess.

Well, I can’t possibly know until I see it for myself.

I tried moving but-

“Huh?” no matter how much energy gathered up to use my body it wouldn’t move.

Has my health been much degraded?

Now that I am lying here in the dark I can think pretty clearly. It’s like all the problems I was having before just flew away.

But I know that it was only a temporary thing. Sooner or later those problems will come around, it’s only a matter of time when?

Anyway, it’s something that can be taken care of in the future. I need to think about what’s happening to me?

In that complete darkness, I felt like I was losing something a part of myself but I can’t seem to know what exactly?

The only thing I could feel was someone touching my body all over. It wasn’t the same sensation when I touched myself; it felt like someone was going through my body. What do they want with me?

It tickled a bit but soon it was over.

I can’t seem to open up my eyes nor can I move my body, nevertheless the only thing working was my brain and sensory things.

I couldn’t feel the pain or see those flashbacks. Should I be thankful that they aren’t appearing again or be worried why they aren’t occurring?

Those flashbacks… it felt like they meant something… it wasn’t just any images but it felt like it was an important memory but what was it? No matter how much I exert myself, I can’t think or even remember the slightest bit of it.

What really happened to me after I returned? Or is this just after I returned? It could be happening to me even before that but I can’t remember it.

It could be anything, I can be anything.

Just thinking about only two things came to my mind.

First, that the problems I have are nothing compared to what is really happening to me right now and the second is that I don’t have a single clue about myself.

It’s really laughable, really laughable.

What have I been doing till now?

I don’t want to go back there, not to the place where I have to fight literally everyone and I can’t ask anyone for help.

I trusted someone that could at least support me even if it was a small one but it turned out to be a disappointment.

Am I destined to suffer through this hell alone?

At that point I don’t think I can continue, I could feel myself begin consumed by something.

It felt like a part of me but at the same time, it wasn’t. It existed but at the same time, it did not.

Ah, here it comes again.

Just before I could fall in that darkness something held out my hand and pulled me up, can I really call that help? Was I really going in the right direction?

What if that darkness is my way out? Is it really the darkness that I need to get away from or my real destination is that darkness?

Nothing can be done. I have already been lifted up to something that I don’t think has an escape.

“Ah…” a bright light fell upon my eyes.

I tried moving my arms and they did. It moved like normally.

“… It doesn’t hurt anymore…” I also noticed the headache vanished like it didn’t happen at all.

“Oh, you are awake…?” I heard a similar voice.

“…” I just stared at the face of that person and the only thing that I could think was that how can this person be taking care of this infirmary?

“Look I am sorry,” she said.

“For what…?” I said as I tried to sit up but I felt a little pain near my left hemisphere of the face.

“D-Don’t sit up yet,” she said as she held me down, “You fell but before your nose could touch the floor and break that nose of yours you turned around. So, the left lower part of your face was hit pretty hard… try not to move your jaw that much.”

She said as if she actually cared for me. But what happened to me at that very same entrance, I can’t forget that.

“Again… for what you are sorry…?” I said as I looked around.

“F-For not looking after you even though you asked for help…” she said. She couldn’t even lift up her head, is she feeling ashamed now? Isn’t that a bit too late for that?

“…” I didn’t respond to that apology or whatever she is calling that.

“Hey, but all that wasn’t my fault. You shouldn’t have talked to a teacher like that,” she said.

I heard loud and clear.

Are you kidding me? What kind of apology is that? Isn’t she just trying to blame it on me partially?

“Really? Is that your justification, ‘teacher’?” I asked her.

I emphasized the word ‘teacher’ so that I can make it look like I talk to her respectfully which I really don’t think she deserves but it still has to be done.

“Alright… I’ll tell you the real reason,” she said, “Don’t tell this to anyone else, okay?”

“Mhm-Mhm” I nodded. If I find that reason feasible then I can think of respecting her for real but if that doesn’t happen forget about it.

“I had this huge with my parents today… They are forcing me to get married… I mean who gets married at the age of 24? You tell me. They weren’t even trying to listen to me. They just pushed their ideologies to me, of course, I revolted and resulted in a fight…”

Huh?

“D-Don’t look at me with that face, okay…? It was really hard for me even if you don’t understand it… yet,” she said as she saw my face.

Even, I don’t even know what kind of face I was making but according to this situation, it wouldn’t be a pleasant one of course.

“Is that the reason…?” I asked her. If this was the only reason then something messed up is happening inside her brain.

“Y-Yeah…” she replied in a low voice.

“I am sorry but how is this connected to you not helping me out, earlier…?” I asked her.

“I-It’s kind of complicated…?” She seemed hesitant.

“I have time, why don’t you tell me?” I said.

“Look, my parent’s already made me look miserable and didn’t give me the respect I should be getting, you understand me?” she said.

“I guess,” I said vaguely. I really don’t get it.

“I don’t like how they neglect my opinions. It’s like they still think of me as a 10 years old child…” she said as she glanced at me.

“I… still don’t understand,” I said, “How is this all connected to me…?”

“I am coming there, don’t hurry me. You said you have time to listen to it,” she said.

“Okay, fine. Please continue,” I said sarcastically.

“Thank you,” she said, “Just like they didn’t bother to at least listen to my opinion I felt worthless. It’s like they don’t even think of my opinions as opinions, to them it’s just a talk with no meaning. They don’t show me any kind of respect. It’s really frustrating but then you appeared and triggered something inside me.” She blamed me.

“How is that…?” I asked.

“Even though I was frustrated, I know for a fact that they are my parents so I would back down there but this time I didn’t and the fight occurred. At that point, I was just thinking that this only happens with my parents only. Others will talk to me with respect I deserve but before I could cool myself down you came and talked to me like I was just nobody. It was frustrating, you know?”

“I-” before I could say anything to it she interrupted me.

“I know you were in pain, the pain I couldn’t possibly imagine and didn’t care much about the way you talked back. I don’t blame you completely but partially because it was my fault also. So, please understand that I was also not in the right mind at that time…” she said.

What should I say now? I can’t think of anything to counter it.

I mean after listening to her story, I could understand her situation but I still don’t sympathize with her.

Also, I can’t fully understand her. It’s just as she mentioned, I can also be counted as one of those who were at fault too. But only a bit nothing more.

“…” I was thinking about it when she called out to me again.

“So…? Now you know why I acted like that earlier… Can we overlook this incident…?” she said to me.

“… I think we can,” I agreed.

I mean it’s not like I had any physical injury and my headache was also almost healed so I don’t have any particular reason to be mad at her, do I?

“Anyway, care to tell me what really happened to me…?” I asked her.

TO BE CONTINUED…