Isekai’d Shoggoth - Chapter 105: Speech! (But not really)

Well… this is tedious. I understand the need for public speeches, I really do. There are preciously few means of mass outreach in this world, yet, and speaking at the holiday is one of the more reliable ways to give masses some face time with the sovereign of the nation. Still, the whole thing necessitates crazy amounts of pomp and circumstance. I do not envy Abe. I do, however, sympathize. And he, as far as I can tell, appreciates the speakers a whole lot. I have my part in the ceremonies, so… yeah. Being patient and subtly spreading around the aura of warmth. Not emotional warmth, obviously. Court dames seem to appreciate that. I’m really appreciable today. As a space heater, if nothing else. And some of those costumes oughta be chilly. I mean, what the fuck do you have to be thinking to make a deep decollete on a fucking fur coat!?

“…Thousand pardons, lady Gillespie, but is that you doing this?” – I hear a whisper from behind me. Hrm. That’s… Hm. That’s Louise de la Valliere. I expected explosions with that kind of name. My expectations were not fulfilled. Louise appears to be a bookworm wallflower with little interest in magic beyond requisite basics for a noble and a lot of placid yearning for quiet spots in the garden. She’s a decent landscape painter, while at it. People tell me she used to make exceptional portraits before, but stopped shortly after I enrolled. We haven’t really spoken in the Academy beyond basic pleasantries, she seems quite content with her hobbies, and I had little reason to pay attention to her either. Wonder how she figured me out.

“If you mean subtle warming, then yes.” – I retort equally quietly – “At the pace, I surmise I’d be surrounded by shivering and misery otherwise.”

“My thanks.” – she offers, the conversation seemingly over. I wonder why she bothered asking, she is wearing quite a sensible overcoat. Not quite my, ahem.. “intriguing” choices as was remarked by some of the less delicate dames earlier. Apparently, a leather trenchcoat with studding is… a little bit on the nose. Then again, I kind of cemented the image of myself as a short-tempered person, so why should I be bothered if people assume this coat doubles as brigandine? Still, w…oh. That explains it. Louise might be sensibly attired, but her two companions are both quite… open to the elements. Weird, that. They all smell worried. Whatever. Not my problem… Maybe. Ish. Sorta. Kinda.

It’s been snowing overnight, and there is a layer of snow on the ground. Not deep enough to make it worth shoveling, but sufficient to make people go “huh, so it snowed”. My part is coming up soon, Abe had just finished with demerits accrued through the year, which are announced second. Well, first, today. Traditionally, the end year speech begins from bad and rolls up to good. In some years, it means a couple executions in the morning. Not this year, though, the worst of the lot and the funniest was the official announcement of de Brege’s plummet in ranks and the assorted reactions (mostly mocking indifference from commoners with assorted snickering, and a gamut of feelings from amusement to outrage from my peers). Now Abe had announced the granting of lands to several of the retiring knights… And it’s my cue to come up, as he calls for “house Gillespie”. I scuff my foot on the ground a few times before leaving, throwing down a crude enchantment by simply drawing the formulae on the snow with the tip of my shoe and loading it up with power. There we go, for the next half-hour, the area here will be nice and toasty. I’m a nice abomination at times, innit?

Abe’s being really florid with the language, but the gist of it is that he announces father as duke Gillespie, which makes our new rank one step below the king himself, as far as the hierarchy is concerned. While commoners seem to be just cheering, I am getting a distinct “oh fuckbisquits” vibe from so many nobles. Though a decent fraction of them are emitting more to the tune of “fuck yeah”. I guess all of them are either dad’s subordinates or allies and stand to see improvements in their own influence now.

“…and then, there is maiden Gillespie.” – Abe rounds up and I snap out of my reverie. This is… out of the script. He was not supposed to… Ooor, maybe I was NOT supposed to know, given that dad is just smiling and nodding along. Gods help me, if Abe thought this is a good time to induct me into a knight order under the guise of reward, we will be having WORDS. He’s been good to me so far, and I can understand the urge to keep the nuclear option close, but I’m already marrying his daughter. No need for saddling me with military obligations.

“You have done much for our kingdom this year, and there is no doubt you are planning to do more in the years to come.” – he proffers grandly – “While this indeed played a part in promoting house Gillespie, I do believe you deserve a personal token of esteem as well. As such, I am granting you the Mark of Sovereignty.”

Nevermind, Abraham is awesome. Mark of Sovereignty is a little bit of nifty legalese that essentially declares me outside of the chain of command. Normally, if I were to obtain a domain through force, subterfuge or wealth, upon being legally realized as the lady of the domain, I would therefore fall under the command of a higher lord. For example, if I snag myself barony somewhere in Champagne for some reason, I would be nominally subordinate to the noble whose lands encompass my own, as their vassal. Which, given how polarizing my person is, is liable to cause problems because if I end up being technically subordinate to a hostile noble, I will rebel and in that case, my only recourse would be to decisively win and suborn them as well. The Mark neatly sidesteps all this, as the king had essentially declared that whatever I take over will be immediately considered an autonomous territory within Champagne kingdom, subordinate to crown directly. I guess he did this because he finds me trustworthy enough and knows I plan on taking over the Thousand Isles. The effect on the nobles is… impressive. And by impressive, I mean he would’ve probably caused less panic if he lobbed a grenade into their midst instead.

“I am deeply honored by your favor, your highness.” – I answer with the bow. He motions me to stand by his side, and mouths to me quietly – “Say a couple words, would you kindly?” Sighing, I speak in the mike.

“Good day, ladies and gentlemen, nobles and commoners. It is traditional, I believe, to say a few words about the passing year and about the future one. Looking back, I am… passably content. Much was achieved, invented and created. I can not say I met every single goal I put before myself, there are still things I am working on. There will likely be more things to work on for years upon years upon years. I am satisfied, however, with the fact I laid the majority of foundations for my grander plans. The chief of which for the year to come is the restoration of the Ashenvale tract. It will take a while to make it happen, I admit, but at this point, I can confidently say that it is an achievable goal.” – I begin. A bit of politics, but this much we did discuss earlier. For some reason, Abe is really insistent I should be the one to announce the official existence of the project to restore Ashenvale. Not sure why. And now for the other topic I was requested to broach.

“There is also one persistent rumor that I believe I need to address.” – I begin – “I’m sure that many of you are already aware that my engagement with his excellency prince Edward Cullen had been called off by mutual consent. What a lot of you do not know is the fact that his excellency decided to bow out of the arrangement in favor of his sister.”

Lily-Anne steps forward, parking herself next to me. The rest of my harem clusters behind us.

“I would like to make it known that I have a harem.” – I say it as plainly as I can, and I can hear Abe choking up in surprise. He refused to believe me when I warned him I will just state it bluntly. The joke’s on him. I should probably say something more, but there is something…. absent. There, in the crowd, there is a HOLE… Only there isn’t… Only there IS! Holy fuck, this is what active dispel field feels like? Crazy. How did no one notice? It’s like a literal fucking hole in the world… Which just appeared. I guess wanker has some kind of anti-magical device. Sounds a lot like Sultanate shit. So… Which one is… there!

Ok, so… this dude is pretty tanned. And well-muscled, even if he hides his fitness in a baggy overcoat. And there’s the amulet… Looks like a two-scale dragonscale, but it’s attached to something crystalline-looking. I guess this is how he is doing the active field… Guess it activated when he stuck the addon to his amulet. Now, I wonder, what… oh. Oh fuck it all with a rake. Simple, blatant and probably effective against ordinary nobles. He has a short bow under his coat. Had. Right now, he is lifting it up and his other hand already pulls up an arrow… And it faintly reeks of something bitter. Poison?

Good thing dropping into overdrive is pretty much second nature to me now. At 32x, I have plenty of time to mull it over. I can possibly nail him with some kind of spell, but with the active antimagic going on, it will have to be something AOE with considerable radius. Which will not help my reputation. Innovator or not, blasting a big hole through the crowd to get to assassin will cause a couple dozens of collateral deaths at minimum. I can just leap on him and maul him, but I have no guarantee he won’t manage to get a shot out in the process. Or simply end up stabbing someone close by with his poisoned arrows. Or… I can do the out of context thing. Mom had an interesting timing with her sudden interest in firearms.

Oh, the guards noticed and are turning to lift their shields. Not enough of them to wall up, but they can shield Abe and Lily-Anne, at least. Meanwhile, I pulled out one of the pistols from under my coat. Trajectory A. The arrow nock is sliding back, hand seeking the string. Trajectory B. Octagonal barrel swings towards the assassin. Fingers touch the string. Imitation of finger pulls the trigger. A gout of fire erupts out of the barrel. Trajectory C. From the muzzle of flintlock towards the head. A brief moment of lead being airborne. Two eyes rounding in the last surprise. Fingers slipping past the string as the already dead body falls flat on the back with a neat hole between the brows. A wisp of smoke rising out of the barrel lazily.

“…Gods damn it!” – Abe grounds out, forgetting he still has the microphone in his hand. I’m glad he elected to hold it next to me instead of just giving it to me entirely….I wonder what the people made out of it in places where they couldn’t see what is happening.

“Aaaand that was a hired assassin.” – he drawls into the mic sardonically – “And a quick demonstration why approaching Alyssa Gillespie with hostile intent is just a fancy way of committing suicide.”

He sets the microphone down on the postern and leans to me. “What in the name of all that is good and just was that just now?” – he hisses – “A new invention? I could FEEL the magic ebbing when that blackguard revealed himself, but you still killed him with a spell before he could get off a shot.”

“Not a spell.” – I mouth back to him quietly – “Alchemical weapon, to put it simply. A piece of lead propelled with force by a bit of alchemy concoction exploding behind it. This is just a prototype, dwarves are already working on better versions. We should have something worth the army trials by the spring.”

“…Army trials?” – he repeats after me dumbly.

“You know. When you and your chosen military experts examine a newly made weapon, see how it is used, what effect it has and how much it costs to make it and supply it with an eye towards buying it for the kingdom’s military needs, if it passes the examination?” – I expand on that.

“…Not something we needed to do before, but I can see the utility, if you plan on introducing more weapons like this.” – he whispers – “Good grief, you blew a hole straight through his forehead. If not for you already bedamning the Sultanate with the curse, I’d pay dearly to see their batal running across a platoon of shooters with those alchemical weapons of yours. Any chance of showing me what the prototypes are capable of? From what I can see, it’s already a formidable weapon well on par with a crossbow.”

“Well… Would you like to visit our manor tomorrow in the evening?” – I suggest – “Ashes should be pretty quiet, all things considered. Come with everyone in the family, of course. I’ll show things off.”

He hums contemplatively. “You know, this is the first time anyone just invited me to come over since I was crowned…” – he muses – “And now that I think of it, I do believe I shall take you up on that invitation. Along with family, of course. I daresay Alexander, Constantine and Edward would all be curious. Though I would appreciate it if you can find something sufficiently distracting for Monika, she is not fond of implements of violence in the slightest.”

“I do have some ideas on that front already.” – I tell him, and he laughs quietly.

“It is perhaps a little cruel of me to subject her to your creativity unmitigated, but you’ve never been malicious in your innovations. Overly fond of destroying common sense in your wake, though.” – he admits.