Isekai’d Shoggoth - Chapter 115: Life’s Little Hiccups

The remainder of the day is spent on settling within the new treehome. While none of us are particularly inclined to move to Evergreens (even with the extermination of rival clans, Moon Unit professes a lack of interest in sticking around, citing boredom with static life), there is no reason why we shouldn’t make this residence as much of a home as any other place we might be spending several nights in. Not to mention that this is the first home we actually own as a family, come to think of it. And so, everyone is prowling around, figuring out the little things I missed and such. So far, it resulted in me making some additional furniture and Bridgit popping back to Parsee for a moment to gather up some more of our clothes and put an order with Lily-Anne’s seamstresses for more sets with an emphasis on forest environs. Meaning long sleeves, narrow skirts and snug belts. I do suggest pants, but the notion finds only limited traction with my girls. To be fair, this forest is not that bad to make pants a necessity, so I’m fine with the fact they concede to “and let’s have some of that too”.

“So… what exactly is going to happen tomorrow?” – Lily-Anne ventures after a while.

Moon Unit shrugs. “Alyssa had already staked her claims pretty thoroughly, so… not much.” – she proffers thoughtfully – “Just in case, the first thing we need to do tomorrow is to have all three of you ask of Alyssa what she considers you to be. For reasons that are many, treeborn consider the… way Alyssa can speak to be sacred. Therefore, having had been claimed as wives in that tongue is the best guarantee no one in Evergreens would dare gainsay you on that topic. While I’m pretty sure Alyssa had already put sufficient fear of her into everyone within the glades, there’s always some fool who didn’t grasp the clue… And if you all are claimed as wives, then as far as my people are concerned, you are all of the Zappa clan, and therefore must be treated like treeborn insofar as legalities go. Meaning that you can attend the meeting with elders.”

“Sooo… we need to make the claim first, otherwise, Counsel is going to ask us to go back to the treehome and wait here?” – Lily-Anne clarifies – “Yeah, no. I am far too curious what this soul aria thing is to even consider that.”

Moon Unit shrugs. “Essentially, an expression of one’s inner self through music. Or something approximating music, in any case.” – she proffers – “Having a developed soul aria is actually a sign of maturity, as far as treeborn are concerned. Children usually produce an assortment of disjointed sounds when they are little, then slowly progress towards some kind of order as they figure themselves out. Counsel might make a lot of fuss about ‘meaning’ of each sound, but…”

She winces slightly and continues – “At best, those ‘meanings’ are just going off previous observations and guesswork. While there are some broad rules that seem to hold in most cases, such as drum-like sounds indicating a person with martial inclinations, there are known exceptions to every one of them. A common opinion is that what is showcased is the potential, not the fate, but… Let’s just say no one knows for sure and attempts to clarify didn’t go well. So take any opinions they express with a grain of salt, it’s not a definitive judgment in any way whatsoever. Not to mention that hardly anyone right now would dare to pass any judgments on Alyssa.”

“Due to her status as a Tool of Gods?” – Lily-Anne queries.

“That too, but mostly due to the fact she can and probably will bite off your head if you show no deference, as far as my people are concerned.” – Moon Unit corrects – “As much as it galls me to admit, might makes right is… very prevalent in Evergreens. One of the main reasons why we revere Tools of Gods is because of deeply ingrained fear as to what they do to the opposition. It is also one of the main reasons why we call them Tools of Gods. They were originally known to us as Star Horrors. I believe some people out there still refer to shoggoths as such, and with a good reason.”

All of them stare at me after that. I… kinda just shrug.

“Well… I can see where they’re coming from.” – I finally offer, after the silence becomes a little awkward – “Remember when I told you that by shoggoth measure, I’m just a baby? It is just my hunch, but I think the ones your people have legends about were adults of my kind, ones who did NOT grow among the mortals. Their morals can be… blue and orange, let’s put it like this. Not to say they were actually malicious as much as simply did not understand the concerns that might be relevant to more fragile races.”

The silence continues to be awkward… Until Roxy, bless her, breaks it up with a question of her own. “Fragile…” – she muses – “Out of curiosity, just how… not fragile are you, Alyssa?”

I keep on shrugging. “Well, I never intentionally tested that, for obvious reasons…” – I hedge – “But, let’s just say that barring some exotic magics, I’m pretty much invulnerable to any conventional means of harming someone. You can possibly destroy some of me with elemental magic, but I’ve already made sure there are stashes of me all over the world, so it would take an exceptional effort to track down all of me to do that. Not to mention that in a pinch, I can consume any matter whatsoever to convert into more of me. It’s obviously the last resort option, but if needs be, I can eat the planet and replace it with myself. Not keen on the idea, because it would mean that I both usurp the gods and take on the responsibility of being the world, which is… yeah, well. Let’s just say that this is going to be a REALLY last resort in case gods fall or something equally apocalyptic.”

“…And I wish I could just assume you’re joking, mistress.” – Bridgit pipes up – “Please don’t become the world unless there is no other option?”

I sigh and come up to gather all the girls in a big hug. “Sorry for the heavy topics, everyone.” – I tell them – “I don’t want to be the world, really. It sounds like aeons of work without any holidays. And unless something really bad happens, I doubt the gods would let it go that far. They’ve been doing a good job of keeping this world ticking so far, after all.”

___

With all the domestic chores, we had not noticed the evening rolling in. It’s still pretty early when all of us are satisfied with the condition of the treehome, but definitely way past dinner time. Which is how we found out that elves don’t really do taverns. Everyone cooks for themselves. While Bridgit is all fired up about using the new kitchen, I have a better idea.

“Why don’t we just pop back to Parsee and get some dinner from the tavern there and bring it back here?” – I suggest to her as she is trying to figure out what is available on the airship and how to make a meal out of it.

“A..um.” – is her response, as she blinks at me – “But… I… Oh, just… Mistress, why? Do you have a blood feud with common sense or something?”

Still, seeing as it is practically effortless for her to make a jump from one of my instances to another, there are no demerits to this plan, and so we inform the other three of the intent to do so and depart among their incredulousness. It takes about half an hour to get the dinner together from the tavern nearby, and I use the time to quickly check on my businesses. No outstanding issues, all is good. However, just as we come back, we are met with a sheepish-looking Moon Unit.

“Dear, there is a… guest.” – she offers – “One of the younger Spinners had visited while you were away. He is waiting downstairs in order to interview you. I tried to get him to come back tomorrow, but, well… You’ll see for yourself.”

___

She is right. The guy in question is ridiculously exuberant. I had barely managed to secure his promise to be quiet and read the book on inorganic chemistry while I eat. I suppose I could be firm and just kick him out entirely, but after all the terror tactics in the morning, I really want some showcase of being able to people well, lest there is a panic about me being unrepentantly monstrous. Still, this is four hours later. I want him to leave, but he just keeps asking questions! Most of them are trivial, some are inane, and a few made me scratch my head in bewilderment.

“That’s enough questions for today.” – I tell him right after finishing a fairly complicated explanation regarding golemcraft. For some reason, the guy is really curious about all sorts of “conveyance”. Trying to sneakily get some data on the airship? Or just being stuck on the topic after an impressive sight?

“But…” – he begins with a woebegone expression.

“Look, it’s late. I want to rest. We have already talked for over four hours, and I don’t mind talking to you again later, just not today.” – I try to be strict.

“Just one more…” – he fails to grasp the hint. Really, pal? Fucking really?

I lean over him, looming menacingly – “I will yeet you past Karman line if you keep pestering me. I have wives to bed.”

“…What’s Care Man’s Line?” – he bleats, somewhat intimidated, but still far more taken with curiosity than self-preservation.

“Karman, not… Agh, why don’t you go see it with your own eyes!?!” – and this is where my self-restraint snaps.

Pro-tip. Don’t clam-jam horny shoggoth. Because they will literally yeet you into orbit. With accompanying life support spells, if you’re lucky… And maybe I shouldn’t have, but, whatever. He’ll live, and even come back in, uh… roughly nine hours, I believe? Yes, that sounds about right for a complete loop. Should reach far enough on perihelion to see sun and moon in the same time…

As for me, I do exactly as I said – lock the door, go upstairs and bed my wives….Actually, no, that’s a dirty lie. I go to bed with my wives. Because they are already asleep.

FUUUUUUUCK YOU, YOU CURIOSITY-BEFUDDLED SIMPLETON!