Isekai’d Shoggoth - Chapter 106. Father-Daughter Scheming

Well, this morning was thoroughly perturbing. Still, that does advance my plans regarding Klaus. Nice of him to show up alone. Now I can finally get some observations on what is going on with his mysterious resurrection. Unlike the last time, I have made the entirety of body unavailable. Even if they know where he is, digging him out from the caldera would be quite impossible for them. If they had the know-how on how to empty the whole vast bowl of ash, the tract would already be restored. Moreso, I have quite thoroughly driven him mad… Well, madder than he already was. Cookies, really? Did he find some dawamesc or something? That’s the only thing I can think of that could be reasonably a kind of cookie. Not sure how it’s sleep-depriving, though, hashish isn’t really known for doing that. Lulling someone to sleep, easy. Come to think of it, what kind of substance do the locals know that might cause this?… Well, aside from coffee… Hrm. Maybe some local recipe including a concentration of coffee, with plenty of sugar to offset the bitterness and provide some kind of initial boost? Sugar rush can account for some of it, I suppose. Come to think of it, dad did call my coffee “a potion of haste masquerading as a beverage”… But that’s not a cookie, and I never made any coffee-flavored cookies. Weird. Another thing to keep an eye open for, if someone makes cookies that fuck people up with sleep deprivation, I might want to stomp on it.

Now, what do I do with the rest of the morning? The celebrations really took it out of everyone included, considering we stayed up till midnight launching my fireworks. Funny thing, we were not alone in doing this, but all other displays I could see were magical in nature. Illusions, fire magic, air magic… Nothing purely alchemical like my stuff. Hm, let’s just be proactive. I’ll prepare for a royal visit… Ooh. Oh shit. I forgot to tell dad I invited king for a visit. Let’s hope he’s not going to be too upset about this.

___

“…Really, Alyssa?” – is his exasperated reply, as he eyes me over the cup of coffee with cream – “You just invited our sovereign and his family for a visit? Just like that?”

“Well, in my defense, he was really interested in firearms and mentioned no one ever invited him to come over ever since he was crowned.” – I retort – “His highness might be our sovereign, but that does not mean he and his family can’t be our friends too, isn’t it so?”

“It is, but… Just… Well.” – dad sighs and shakes his head, taking a bite out of buttered croissant – “I’m not against it, obviously, just a little flabbergasted. You do realize that pretty much everyone is going to assume we’re royal favorites after this, right?”

“I’m pretty sure everyone already considers we are, and have been for years.” – I offer – “I mean, I’ve been set to marry into the royal family for years by now. Surely that means something.”

“Fair enough.” – he chuckles – “So, what do you plan? I have already heard from the servants you’ve been giving directions for a feast and personally taking a hand with some kitchen preparations. More of the food no one ever tried before, eh? That sauce from yesterday alone would be quite a novelty, so what else did you prepare?”

I think back to my two-hour stint in the kitchen crash-tutoring the cooks in some of the meals and start listing – “Ok, so… I made another sauce, first thing off. This one is primarily tomato-based, it should go well with meats and the new dish. I also got some soy sauce for the same purposes. That’s creamy, spicy and savory covered. There will be noodles, too. Assorted meats, obviously. Cava for anyone interested. Some herbal teas for those who prefer more sedate drinks. Deep-fried snacks…”

“Wait wait wait wait. Soy sauce? Where did you even get such rarity?” – he interjects. I blink at him.

“Pharos merchants bring some every now and then, and I quite like it, so I procured a quantity of it earlier in the autumn when I found one who had a keg.” – I explain, and dad blinks back.

“…Really now.” – he drawls – “I do wish you’d tell me earlier, your mother is very fond of that one. Too bad we practically never have any brought up north.”

“Ah. Whoops? In my defense, I never knew that.” – I reply – “I’ll make sure to split off a couple bottles for you then and put the notice for the merchant in question that I’m looking to buy more. That man is looking to cooperate with Northern Trading, he’ll jump at the opportunity to do a personal favor.”

“Much obliged, dear.” – he chuckles – “Elene would be delighted. If you don’t mind, let’s… keep this a surprise until the dinner with royals, shall we?”

“Sure. Anyway, the meal’s been covered, I guess, unless you have questions about other bits?” – I inquire.

Dad looks intrigued for the moment, but then shakes his head with a smile – “I believe I will let that be a surprise for me as well. Odd you may be, but failing you’re not. I do look forward to the dinner, though. Now, firearms would probably preoccupy a part of guests interested in martial implements for the best part of the evening, but how about more peace-inclined guests? I hope you have figured out some sort of entertainment for those who aren’t interested in explosions?”

I gesture towards the pseudoTV I had retrieved earlier. “I think I have it well in hand, father. Here, have a little sample.” – I tell him smugly, as I queue up a short cartoon… Err, whoops. I was not sure what to show, and ended up tossing up a memory of an old Betty Boop short on the screen as a result. Riveting, I know.

“…What in the name of… Just… Oh gods, how does that even… where…” – is his reaction as he watches the Mysterious Mose. He facepalms and turns to me as the animation ends. “So… You figured out a way to have a puppet theater without artists. And, apparently, poured a whole barrel of unadulterated lunacy into it for extra entertainment. I have to say, I’m impressed. Also confused. And perturbed. And amused. And a whole lot of different feelings on the matter which I will not go into, for now. I hope you have more sedate performances lined up, though? With more length to them, while at it? Because as weird as it was, I can not see the discussion taking the whole evening.”

“Well…” – I proffer to him, and shake my head as I queue up another short. This one from Monty Python. He gapes at the Black Knight scene before guffawing at the absurd fight.

“…Maybe something less violent, but I can see you have prepared an assortment.” – he muses – “Alright then. We shall consider this handled, though I have no doubt that you will be asked to continue with this theater of yours after everyone gets their fill of alchemical smoke. Something to sell further on, perchance?”

“Ah. Well… Not in the immediate future. This thing depends on me feeding it with imagined scenes to function. It would be complicated to train up people to do that. Very complicated. I am looking into easier ways of handling this, perhaps taking a page from Moon Unit and Selene and figuring out how to record the sights alongside the sounds. Not until summer in the very soonest, though, I’m booked solid with projects already.” – I explain.

“That’s fine. You do realize that most people would view any of the more outlandish things you do as their life’s labor, right?” – he quips – “Honestly, Alyssa. I’ve seen nobles make their family lines on ONE such marvel. You’re churning them out every month. I’m surprised you’re not seeing more assassination attempts already, that pace of yours is bound to leave many a man threatened.”

“I’m pretty sure we are getting some pushback.” – I proffer – “Some of the things that happened definitely originate from someone in Champagne, and I have doubts that it’s just one person. Viscount Abbatour’s name floated up in one interrogation, by the way. Not sure if he actually has something against us or it’s just a red herring. De Breges, well… you saw what happened. Ambercrombes are an intermittent annoyance, though to be honest, I haven’t seen much from junior lately, and dean holds himself within the laws and rules, if not exactly fond of me.”

“Ah, well… About that.” – father retorts – “Junior was actually sent to the Albic Isles as fishing harbor inspector. An important post, that.”

We exchange a chuckle. Inspecting fishing harbors on the isles? Cold, wet and ultimately pointless occupation, because there is nothing an inspector can actually change about harbors. Or fishermen, for that matter. Explains why he wasn’t around lately to sneer and annoy, Abe seems to have had reassigned him to the Arctic.

“Well, those are just the early signs, I’m afraid.” – I continue – “I’m pretty sure sooner or later we will have to face off against a coalition of more hm… conservatively inclined nobles. I’ve been cautious to avoid directly crowding anyone off the market for now, but I’m pretty sure some people by now ought to be feeling the pinch to the wallet.”

“True. I am working through things from my end, while we are at it.” – father replies – “So far, I’ve had it fairly easy due to the fact that northern lands are not typically seen as particularly prosperous, so what nobles we have up there are not well on the money. Except for us and our vassals, of course, which made everyone up there at least consider an alliance, if not outright swearing vassalage to me in return for better means. Not to say I’m actually buying them off, barring a few cases of outstanding debts that were bought out and dismissed in exchange for more permanent vassalage arrangements.”

“But the easy pickings are running out, am I right?” – I observe and he nods slowly.

“Indeed. As of right now, everyone we share a border with is economically secure… With one exception. Drageles. Their house is numerous and they have significant military influence, but owing to the head of the family being an incorrigible gambler, their finances are… well. And you have had recently gained consignment of one of their own for trespass, too. In a way, your gentle handling of this is a big help. Willem Dragele is not a stupid man, his unfortunate yen for gambling notwithstanding. I’m reasonably sure he would ask for talks soon enough. Speaking of which… do you have any ideas on that front? He could be a valuable ally, but… gambling. Could you think of something that would curb the tendency?” – he muses.

“It depends on what are his reasons for compulsive gambling.” – I hedge – “If the lure is in the risk of betting money, there is very little that can be done about it without damaging him as a person. On the other hand, if it’s the game angle that lures him in and money is simply a means of securing the game? I can think of a few things.”

“No hurry, I doubt he would broach the topic before spring.” – dad agrees – “Maybe not even then. I’m somewhat sure he is leaning more against us than for us at the moment, and unless and until something changes for him significantly… Yes. I can see him bending knee for coin, but that is hardly a good basis for amiable alliance.”

“Hm. Say, suppose I figure out something… that is not quite an object, but more like a starting point for a craft, much like what I did for Lemand.” – I suggest – “If we manage to inspire and nudge viscount Dragele towards a certain kind of craft that appeals to his gambling interests, would it help things?”

“Potentially.” – father proffers – “Especially if you do the impossible again and manage to hit the heart of the issue, much like the aforementioned case with Sadoux-Lemarchands. Speaking of which, this was beyond inspired, Alyssa. Lemand, by the looks of it, is a prize of a scholar on his own, and with the whole business about curing consumption, which he wholly attributes to your wisdom and guidance, him, his mother and marquis Sadoux himself are now viewing us as their best allies, nay, as the house they are honor-bound to support and eager to do it. Further enmeshing marquis into your pastry business, while amusing in comparison, does reinforce this alliance between us. He is, his somewhat peculiar interests notwithstanding, a very influential name in the south, and many of the lesser nobles out there either owe him fealty or respect his acumen deeply enough to consider our offers with an open mind. The only problem I foresee on that front is that Balthazar Lemarchand caught the short stick of it many times over. Did you know that his wife had denounced him for cowardice in the face of illness that befell her and petitioned his highness to dissolve their marriage de jure to reflect on its de facto state? He is not exactly poised to take upon us financially or politically, but…”

Dad sighs and rubs his face – “I fear that he might try to challenge you to a duel. Strictly speaking, I am the better choice to demand a duel with, but with me attaining dukedom and not being directly involved, this duel just will not be sanctioned by his highness. Which is relieving for me personally, because he is a far better fighter than I am. But he might decide that defeating you might be enough of a coup to offset the dishonor of a grown man challenging a maiden.”

“It would be very convenient if he does, actually.” – I riposte – “Please don’t take it as empty bravado, dad, but he has no chance of winning against me. I can do pretty much anything he does, so it comes to contest of his experience and skill versus my much more extensive magical expertise, and in that contest, he will lose. It does not matter how well honed your sword is, if your opponent is using a lightning bolt, to put it simply.”

“Don’t take him too lightly, daughter.” – he cautions – “Balthazar Lemarchand had garnered his reputation for a reason. A better grasp of magic or not, he is still known as a superb combatant for a reason.”

“Fair enough, but… Don’t mention this to anyone for now, alright?” – I offer coyly – “I have recently figured out how to fly under my own power. He has no good counter to that in a duel.”

“Can’t fault me for worrying, my dear. That’s what parents do.” – he chuckles.

Cytotoxin

Mysterious Mose – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3_KbMd-xQUMonty Python, Black Knight Skit – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmInkxbvlCs