Isekai’d Shoggoth - Chapter 109. Double Lives

I was actually half-expecting to be called out on my bullshit. The question is, though… did they genuinely think it is possible to make war too awful to comprehend without resorting to stuff like mutually assured destruction, or did they just decide not to disabuse me of my “naive fantasies”? The sad truth is, it does not matter how advanced the implements of war are, there is always some asshat out there who thinks they have the right of it. Multitudes of reasons, really, but the end result is, well… War. War never changes. So the real reasons why I’m pushing through firearms? Primo, so that I have the best available armaments at my disposal. Training archers takes time, training mages takes time and luck, training riflemen requires just a little bit of investment and some research and development. Which, at least as far as training methods go, I can partially offload on the career military men in the royal knight order. Secundo, I want Champagne to be the second best armed country, right after whatever the place I manage to snag for myself. My family lives here, and will continue living here, and I quite like the current king and his successors. Making sure Champagne is the top dog in geopolitics makes a lot of sense.

I honestly don’t want to dominate in the same way the Sultanate did, as the premier military force. It’s a lot of hassle and diplomacy and just… nah. My plans are more in tune with being the enlightenment center of the world, give or take. The research facility. I’ll leave the actual armies to Abe and Champagne. He’s got Buonaparte, that’s gotta count for something, right? Meanwhile, I’mma just bamf up the fleet, maybe do more about airforce and generally be “that one place everyone wants to be on friendly terms with because they have the best trade deals and tech on sale”. With a side order of “but never pick a fight with them unless you feel suicidal”. Which would be accomplished partially by my own forces, for obvious reasons, and partially by alliances with big players. Champagne and Kraut would be the obvious picks, but I’m also fairly positive I should be able to cut in some good will with Pharos, their culture is merchant-friendly after all. Ideally, I want to establish a status quo where no one wants to pick a fight with me because doing so would mean getting the shit kicked out of your country by most of the civilized world at once because they don’t want to see what I would respond with if they don’t.

Anyway, here we are at the post-shooting supper. I’m getting lots of platitudes about “magical show”, apparently everyone loved the half-remembered Disney shorts I started putting on after I run out of Betty Boop and Monty Python stuff that is not bound to cause cognitive dissonance. A lot of discussion happens, but I’m just… mostly deflecting, honest. I’m tired, I don’t feel like putting full attention on the conversation. I do pass on some tips to Buonaparte about differences in offensive and defensive artillery, how logistics becomes ever more important, how railroad could change the face of warfare, how curtain walls are even now in obsolescence given the existence of mages that can bring them down via explosion spells. He’s strangely keen on the topic. I mean, I’m pretty sure earthworks are a known thing in this setting. Alexander is also an avid listener. Constantine seems to vacillate between this conversation and the discussion between dad, Abe, Malachi and Pasteur about some of the routine they seem to be planning forward. I do catch the mentions of my stuff every now and then, but it appears they are planning around the things I’m doing, so I’m content to let them scheme to their hearts’ content.

At some point, I’m curiously left out of the conversation, as Alexander, Napulione and Constantine are engulfed in an in-depth discussion of a new type of fortification they thought up on the fly based off the stuff I told them. I think it’s fine for them to plan, I mean, I did intend to offload this whole thing on them to begin with, so if they want a headstart, it’s just fine.

“A… moment of your time, though?” – now this is a little interesting. I never interacted with Jeanette-Thereze much, so I am not sure what to expect. On one hand, she’s been a perfect lady in her behavior all evening. On other, she had shown a… distinct interest in my demonstration, shot the pistols, shot the musket and acted with obvious, if repressed, excitement when she learned I’m giving them the guns. Might be just an enthusiast, like my Moon Unit, though. Hm. Something to think about.

“Sure. What’s up?” – I offer, then realize that this might have been a little bit too informal… Or maybe not. Until now, Jeanette-Thereze was making a good impression of the court lady. Polite, businesslike, calm. Now, though…

“My interest, to begin with. You’re quite a fascinating maiden, my dear lady.” – she purrs, her mannerisms and expression very different now. If I had to describe her now, the words ‘femme fatale’ would not be remiss. Or I could just say she’s suddenly a seductress par excellence. I’d hit that… except that I have no intention of cucking Alexander, especially right in his presence. He’s practically within arm’s reach, if distracted right now. As they say, NTR is a trash fetish. Though I have to admit it, Jeannette-Thereze knows how to appeal to libido, when she wants to. The question is, why the fuck I’m the target of a seduction attempt, in front of her own husband too?

“Do tell.” – I prompt her neutrally.

“Ah, well, I was just thinking back about your marvelous arms.” – she coos at me, leaning closer – “How brilliantly they merge the mundane and the arcane into a peerless weapon. Though, I wonder…” She pauses, and continues quietly – “Could it be possible to take things further? That last demonstration, the one you called grapeshot. Could there be any possibility to craft an arm for that grapeshot that could be carried by a person, perchance?”

Is she… seducing me for a shotgun? What the fuck. Whatever, it’s not that hard.

“Sure, why not. It won’t have the reach of even pistol, however.” – I explain – “The smaller the bit is, the less it can fly before it tumbles. Why do you ask?”

“Could I possibly prevail upon you to craft something of the sort, I wonder?” – she inquires, now close enough I can feel the dissipating heat off her skin – “I would be VERY appreciative.”

At this moment… Alexander turns around. Gives me a commiserating look over his wife’s shoulder and mouths “Sorry and good luck!” and ducks back into planning. AAAAH, what the FUCK!? Good grief, what is wrong with royals!? Just… Did… Argh! Is that Alexander’s scheme to whore his wife out for an exclusive gun? And if so, WHY? Or is it Jeannette-Thereze being a freak and Alexander just going along with it? Or maybe it’s me and my libido making conclusions far in excess of common sense?

“I suppose I can try.” – I offer – “It will have to be a one-off, as I didn’t quite expect that mode of a firearm to be in use just yet.”

“Can I watch?” – she breathes, blinking her eyes at me. OOkay, and now I’m getting the same commiserating look out of Lily-Anne!?… I… guess the royal family is kinda used to Jeanette-Thereze being a temptress suddenly than if her and Alexander’s reactions are the same. I notice Lily-Anne whispering something to the rest of my harem, who seem to be tense… Were tense, at least.

“I’m sorry, are you asking me to make it now?” – I demand incredulously.

“Ah, um, well… It would be great, but I shan’t prevail so much….” – she stumbles, giving me doe eyes. For crying out loud, this is getting ridiculous. Fine, let’s just… get it over with.

“Well, if no one else has objections, I can spare half an hour to make it happen.” – I tell her blandly, and loudly enough to be heard by everyone.

Alexander pipes up before anyone else can interject. “I would be very thankful, lady Gillespie!” – he says equally loudly, then continues in a much lower voice – “I believe we can cope with your absence for a bit, if that’s what it takes to indulge Jeanette-Thereze.” His gestures at the same time amply imply that he is more or less begging me to go ahead and do it. Whipped much, dude? Or there’s something else going on?

I end up taking her to the workshop in the back. For some reason, in spite of me offering, no one else wanted to come back with us and watch, though my harem at least was visibly held back by Lily-Anne. What the FUCK is going on? Thankfully, I do keep enough of metal ingots and wood at the workshop here in the mansion to be able to just go ahead with it. Jeanette-Thereze seems to be just watching from the side. I was worried she might try to get… physical. Which bothers me, because I’m still not sure just WHAT is expected of me here. Is this a case of “oh that’s just how Jeanette-Thereze is” or was I just given a tacit request to fuck Alexander’s wife? And WHY, if second? I mean, there is ample indication everyone else was deliberately held back by the royal family, leaving us tete-a-tete, as it were…

“Ooh, my. This is going to be my new shotgun, right?” – she mutters, and I mentally stumble. This… Is… Interesting.

“That’s an interesting word you’ve uttered, here.” – I offer, turning around – “Personally, I was going to say blunderbuss… Shotgun would be the next iteration. So then… how come it cropped up now, before I ever mentioned the word to anyone?”

“…Well, darn. You found me out.” – she grumbles without malice – “I think we saw the same world, didn’t we?”

Hrm. So her implication is that she has the same “visions” as I did? That’s Selene’s excuse, but…

“Saw or lived?” – I ask her bluntly.

“…”

Ok, that’s downright disturbing. Her whole appearance had changed, but she didn’t do a thing. Just microexpressions, poise, bearing… Oh. Huh.

“Right then.” – she offers briskly, and I’m back to dealing with the business version of Jeanette-Thereze – “Lived, obviously. Just like you did. What year was it for you?”

“Twenty Twenty.” – I tell her, and she perks up.

“Oh! Then you can tell me. Who won, Obama or McCain?” – she requests, and my brain seizes up. Really? Fucking really? That’s the worst concern you had?… Granted, the chances of me knowing something more intimate are probably crapshoot.

I sigh. “Obama did. I guess you were an american, then?” – I request, and it’s her turn to hitch up.

“Ah, well… yes? I presume you were from England or maybe Australia than if you were not from the USA?” – she guesses.

“Flattering, but no. I hesitate to claim any specific ethnicity, but if you were to ask former me about nationality, she’d tell you she is soviet.” – I offer, much to her flabbergastment. I wonder why Selene never raised the topic of former nationality. Just assumed I’m from somewhere english-speaking, I guess?

“Oh. Oh wow. That… wow.” – she offers. And then her countenance changes again. “OOh, you are Russian! Does that mean you know orkish? How do you invent all that? Were you an engineer? Oh good golly gracious, I’m so happy to finally have someone else to talk to who understands! Thereze is a darling, but…” – and she trails off, her hands over her mouth.

“Our apologies. Not something we intended to blab.” – she proffers then, back into business mode – “Oh well, the cat is out of the bag. I am Thereze, and I’m the calm one. My sister is Jeanette, she’s the exuberant one. And we’re stuck in the same body. And we would greatly appreciate it if you keep that tidbit quiet. We’re just Jeanette-Thereze to everyone, no need to tell them otherwise.”

“Was your surname Voerman?” – I blurt out, as the parallels suddenly become painfully clear.

“Why, yes. That’s our maiden name here.” – she confirms – “And no, neither of us is actually a vampire. Though we did get teased about this game and how our names coincide with the character. And we’d appreciate it if you don’t mention that one either. Not our fondest memories.”

“But nevermind all that, tell us everything!?” – she blurts out, her mode switching back to flirting – “Who won the Eurovision, what anime came out while we were out, can you project any of the things you saw after twenty-oh-eight, oh gods did you see Nanoha movie, can you show that please please please please!?”

I’m getting overwhelmed here. “Uh… Well… I do not know?” – I venture – “I’m sorry, I was a woman on the outs with her folks about her sexual choices in post-USSR Ukraine. I barely had enough time to sleep if I wanted to eat. And, engineer… sort of? I worked at techsupport hotline right until I presumably kicked the bucket in a road incident. I didn’t watch much in the way of anime and definitely wasn’t interested in Eurovision.”

She slumps down – “…Well, darn it.”

“Ostensibly speaking, Selene might help you out?” – I offer after a bit of consideration – “She also lives the second life, here. And I think she had more time to devote to popular entertainment than I did. She’s into music a lot.” I’m going to try and make all known transmigrants aware of each other if they’re friendly. No sense to hide it from each other.

“Selene is also?… Oh, oh, I really have to talk to her then. How interesting.” – Jeanette is clearly interested, but this is where Thereze takes the reins of conversation back – “Are you certain we can trust her, though? She did interfere in your engagement with Edward quite thoroughly.”

It’s my turn to slump and groan. “And I have aided her in that as much as I could.” – I retort – “I’m lesbian, OK? Ed’s obviously head over heels for her, she’s interested as well, so I used all that to lob the engagement over to her. Lily-Anne being interested was totally unplanned, but I definitely prefer her over Ed, as far as my own tastes go.”

“Wait, wait wait wait.” – Thereze interrupts – “Are you telling us that you have intentionally conspired with Selene to make her Edward’s fiancee in your stead?”

“Ayep. That’s the best outcome for everyone. Ed gets a girl that actually likes him, Selene gets a guy she has her eye on, house Cullen gets an infusion of blood powerful in light magic specifically, I get to marry a princess, Lily-Anne gets to be with a girl she was pining for ever since hell knows how long… Win for everyone.” – I explain. Thereze is clearly at a loss. Jeannette isn’t.

“EEEEEE! Oh, you are a devious matchmaker, you!” – she yelps with delight – “Now, whom else did you set up like this, I wonder?”

“…Well.” – I hedge – “It’s still in the air, but I think Hiram is interested in Rafiqa, and vice-versa.”

After a few moments of excited jumping and squealing, Thereze emerges again, smoothing her dress down. “My apologies for this unseemly display.” – she proffers contritely – “And my thanks for the information. The nitty-gritty of royal romance is somewhat important to politics, as you can well imagine, and being forewarned like this does help my planning quite a bit. Furthermore, I do thank you for letting me know there is one more person we can trust with, ahem… odder circumstances of our existences.”

“That reminds me.” – I quip – “Apparently, transmigration comes with cheats. Mine as you could amply see is production. I have an instinctive grasp of how to make things and how to arrange for them to be mass-produced. Selene has white magic mastery and extensive musical abilities. How about you? Any outstanding abilities?”

Thereze scratches the back of her head – “Now that you mention it… Our abilities are mostly social. Me, I can remember in perfect clarity every single person I ever meet, including all the details about them I ever learn. Likes, dislikes, birthdays, preferences, interests, etc, etc, etc.”

Her countenance shifts as Jeanette emerges to finish – “Aaaand I have the charisma off the charts! Even girls want me!… Er, even straight girls, I mean.”

“Can confirm.” – I deadpan at her – “I have been wondering all that time why would Alexander’s wife suddenly put such overt moves on me.”

She blushes and groans. “Sorry.” – she then proffers to me – “Sex appeal is like, involuntary. So, very much sorry for being such a tease.”

“If you ever find out how to suppress those effects, please inform us.” – Thereze takes over – “It is of considerable inconvenience to do this to people when we don’t mean it.” She pauses, sighs and continues – “And while we both acknowledge that the obvious solution is just to let me hold the reigns, it seems overly cruel to condemn Jeanette to house arrest in her own body.”

“Fair enough. If I find out anything, I’ll let you know.” – I offer – “In the meanwhile, have you tried dragonscale amulets? I believe the royal treasury has some confiscated from assorted batal. It might suppress the effect somewhat.”

“…Actually, we did not.” – Thereze muses slowly – “We shall attempt this and notify you about the results.”