It Doesn’t Matter If You’re Broken - Chapter 23

“What’s this?”

 

“…!”

 

Elise, who didn’t even know someone had entered the room, was startled.

 

“Dear Little Marquis? Hey, this is all about love now? Did you succeed?”

 

It was Fritz. Elise was so surprised that she couldn’t even speak and stood frozen, holding her breath.

 

‘How did he get into the room…?’

 

After Fritz almost used violence against Elise, there was always a guard in front of her door. But Fritz broke through the guard and entered the room without a sound.

 

Her heart pounded wildly with fear.

 

“Your master is talking to you. Aren’t you going to answer?”

 

Fritz yelled, glaring. Elise managed to respond with a pale, startled face.

 

“The Count has ordered me to write a letter to the Little Marquis…”

 

“That’s just an excuse. You actually enjoy playing around with guys, don’t you?”

 

“Ah, no.”

 

“You’re amusing.”

 

However, it seemed like Fritz had no intention of paying much attention to Elise’s words.

 

“Now that you’ve fattened up and can live comfortably, I guess it doesn’t matter what happens to your sick mother, right?”

 

Startled, Elise looked up at Fritz. Her blue eyes, wide open in surprise, swayed aimlessly like a boat in a storm.

 

‘They said she was doing well.’

 

Clearly, Vanessa and the Count said so. But despite claiming Marisa was well, they had never allowed Elise to meet her mother even once.

 

The anxiety that she had been trying to ignore surged up again.

 

“Uh, by any chance, is… something happening with Mother?”

 

Elise’s trembling voice was full of fear that could not be hidden.

 

“Do you want to know?”

 

She nodded desperately, but Fritz’s face turned cold.

 

“Your attitude is quite messy. In situations like this, you should kneel down and plead like a beggar, shouldn’t you?”

 

Fritz tapped the floor with his foot and tilted his head slightly, looking down at Elise.

 

“If you don’t want to, you can give up.”

 

“No!”

 

She hastily shook her head and got up on her feet, stumbling a bit as she approached Fritz. She then knelt down in front of him.

 

“Pl- please.”

 

Elise eagerly looked up at him.

 

“Tell me what’s going on with my mother.”

 

“It’s late.”

 

But Fritz said with a bloody smile around his mouth.

 

“I’m already in a bad mood.”

 

Suddenly, his eyes went dark. Elise felt like she was thrown into the abyss, and her body trembled.

 

It was a start again. But Elise couldn’t get away with it even though she knew it.

 

“Please, let me know…”

 

When Elise pleaded in a small voice that seemed to be cut off, Fritz grinned.

 

Looking at his face, she could guess what Fritz would say next.

 

“Then crawl like a dog.”

 

Words she had heard countless times in the unforgettable past. To show up a servile and pathetic appearance.

 

“As before.”

 

And she dared not think of refusing, just like in her childhood. For that reason, the fear of Fritz imprinted in her memory was too great.

 

Elise touched the floor with her hands. It had been a few years, but the still familiar sensation gave her goosebumps.

 

Elise closed her eyes tightly. It was because of the traumatic memories of her childhood that she didn’t want to recall, gushed in like high tides.

 

[“Do as I say.”]

 

[“If you don’t listen, I’ll tell my mother to go and kill your mother right away.”]

 

[“Do you think I can’t do it? Well, let’s try and see? Go wherever you want, do whatever you want.”]

 

Marissa, whose body was damaged, often fell ill when it rained, and the girl with a sick mother became easy prey.

 

Elise tried to hide from Fritz somehow but to no avail. The boy, who was too invested in the cruel play, had his servants look for her again and again.

 

On days when it rained heavily, his bullying became more persistent.

 

Little Elise would crawl on all four like a dog, and she would retrieve a ball thrown by Fritz, or her hair would be cut by Fritz holding scissors. Getting slapped on the cheek ruthlessly was common.

 

But in any case, Elise couldn’t show resistance. It was because of fear that her mother might die because of her.

 

Fritz, who knew her inherent fear better than anyone else, would make full use of Elise’s weakness, Marisa, for his amusement.

 

It was the same now that Elise had come of age as years had passed since then.

 

She felt relieved that there was no rain today. On days when the rain poured down so heavily that it shook the windows, it was difficult for him to stay sane.

 

It was then.

 

Raindrops began to fall on her head as he laughed at Elise.

 

“…!”

 

Shocked, Elise stiffened her body while lying on her stomach. She managed to raise her head, which seemed to creak.

 

Then she saw Fritz with a watering can.

 

The stream of water dripped evenly through the holes and wet her hair, face, and shoulders in turn.

 

“Are you surprised?”

 

Fritz giggled. His malignant face was full of mad smiles.

 

“It’s a very nice look.”

 

A human who was good at trampling on a person’s life grinned like a devil. He turned around, twirling the handle of the dripping watering can.

 

“Thanks to you, I had a good time.”

 

Fritz turned his back. Sitting as if lost in her mind, Elise belatedly came to her senses and shouted.

 

“Uh, you said you would tell me what was happening with my mother!”

 

“Have you seen a b!tch this big?”

 

Fritz twisted his face in annoyance and only turned to stare at Elise.

 

“How do I know how your mother is doing?”

 

There was no medicine for being stupid anyway. Fritz chuckled out of the room.

 

“…”

 

Elise stared at the closed door, then raised her body after a while.

 

Then she started tidying up her messy room.

 

She wiped the wet room with spilt water and picked up the letter Fritz had crumpled and thrown away.

 

After wiping her wet hair one last time, she lazily returned to the desk.

 

Picking up a clean paper, quill and ink, she crouched under her desk. She crouched in the cramped space and let out a thin breath.

 

Her physical condition was not good.

 

She really, really wanted to rest for a bit. But…

 

[“If this goes well, you’ll be able to meet Lady Marisa.”]

 

Elise squeezed the quill with her trembling hand. It was the only thing she could do now.

 

* * *

 

The morning of the first day of the ball was bright.

 

As promised, Raymond visited Count Schuvan’s family.

 

The members of Count Schuvan’s family happily greeted Raymond as he got off the Hartmann family’s carriage.

 

He exchanged greetings with Gerhard and Fritz individually and then turned his gaze as if searching for someone. Soon, he spotted Elise waiting at a distance.

 

“…!”

 

Raymond’s movement came to a momentary halt.

 

Gerhard, who confirmed that the two met eyes, called Elise.

 

She cautiously walked in front of Raymond. The man, frozen like a brick until then, managed to speak with some effort.

 

“With my inadequate imagination, I had tried to envision the appearance of the Lady, but to see you like this…”

 

Raymond couldn’t continue his sentence and sighed long before looking at her and smiling as brightly as sunshine.

 

“You are truly beautiful, Lady Elise.”

 

Elise, aware of Gerhard and Vanessa standing behind her, discreetly calmed her racing heart.

 

“I’m really glad to meet you again. Have you been well all this time?”

 

“Thanks to your concern, I’ve been doing well. And what about the Little Marquis?”

 

“Me too, but last night I couldn’t sleep because I was excited at the thought of meeting the lady.”

 

Elise smiled faintly. Even though she might be somewhat ignorant of the ways of the nobility, she was not oblivious to Raymond’s deepening fondness for her.

 

‘It’s something I should be thankful for.’

 

She thought to herself.

 

‘It was rare to find someone who showed me such kindness and warmth. So I should…’

 

Then, suddenly, someone came to mind.

 

‘Ah…’

 

Actually, it was a strange thing. Even in the midst of a tight schedule, she suddenly remembered that calm face.

 

The overbearing atmosphere, indifferent attitude, and cold tone hardly gave an inch.

 

‘Now is not the time.’

 

Elise hurriedly shook her head to clear her thoughts and looked at Raymond.

 

The person she needed to focus on was this kind, grateful man right in front of her eyes. Elise committed herself to not forgetting that fact.

 

“Well then, Elise, I’ll see you at the palace.”

 

Gerhard’s voice snapped her out of her reverie. In front of her eyes, Raymond’s hand was stretched out.

 

Elise took his hand and boarded the carriage.

 

Contrary to its exterior, the carriage’s interior was decorated in bright tones. The recently changed velvet seats gleamed softly, and the beige curtains tied with ribbons on the sides of the windows had small floral patterns.

 

As Elise cautiously took her seat, Raymond settled across from her.

 

“Isn’t it a bit tight in here?”

 

“Not at all.”

 

While not overly spacious, it was sufficient for the two of them to ride comfortably.

 

“I took care in choosing a carriage fit for a lady, but I’m not sure if it’s to your liking.”

 

“It’s really… lovely.”

 

Raymund’s expression brightened even further. His bright green eyes, like newly grown leaves, sparkled.

 

Finding it difficult and taxing to meet his gaze, Elise looked down. The lace gloves on her hands caught her eye. However, the pattern seemed a bit off.

 

‘I think I chose the rose pattern…’

 

The shape swayed dizzily before her eyes.

***