It’s A Wonderful Life - Volume 3 Chapter 22 3.1
The sharp smell of the sea surrounded the large ship.
Ira leaned on the broom he was supposed to be using to wash the sh.i.p.s flooring, but honestly, he saw no point to it. Everybody on the ship, besides maybe the Captain and the cook, were covered in filth and spread it around faster than he could wash it off. It was much easier to just not wash it at all and blame it on everybody else when people discovered he wasn’t doing his job.
Which, oddly enough, was almost never. He would have thought that they would be stricter and harsher, but for a ship full of tired, cranky naval officers, they were actually very lax.
Or they just didn’t notice him because he was so far down the social ladder.
Which was just fine with him. He much preferred not having to do any work at all.
Ira had, at this point in time, been on the ship for just over two full weeks. During this time, they had been sailing steadily north, towards colder water, in order to take a very specific passage through to some other continent. Ira didn’t pay any attention to which one.
With each passing day, the winds got more biting, and the crew complained louder (though still out of earshot of the Captain) about the horrible conditions. They were worried that eventually the drinking water they had aboard the ship would freeze, and that the ice covering the sea would be so cold they could no longer fish. Personally, Ira thought they should be more worried about getting scurvy, but to each his own he supposed.
He had yet to see hair nor hide of his Host, which was to be expected, considering she was possessing a mermaid.
Above him, the sky was an unrepentantly cheerful blue, with hardly a cloud in sight. A good storm would do much to improve his mood, but it had yet to happen. He thought the weather would be more… vicious, but it had proven to be infuriatingly calm.
At least he knew that a storm wasn’t far off now. A few more weeks and the whole ship would capsize.
At that point, the body he was possessing would promptly drown, as it couldn’t swim and Ira couldn’t either he was a system, where would he have learnt it? but it was no trouble. He would simply find another body to possess and his Host wouldn’t be able to tell the difference, considering they still wouldn’t have met at that point. After all, it wasn’t until the ship sunk that the story would begin.
His current Host was possessing a mermaid that was the servant of the princess. Due to an assassination attempt gone wrong, the mermaid princess that got legs from a Sea Witch because she fell in love with a human, died too soon. His Host was possessing her servant and her job was simply to prevent the assassination by any means necessary. Meaning, he mission was to die in her place. Which couldn’t be difficult.
She just had to stay alive until then…
The male protagonist was the Captain of the ship he was currently aboard, a prince of his human kingdom, and a fairly handsome guy, who always seemed to mistake Ira for someone else. The last time they had met, the guy told him to run off to the kitchen and make the food.
Ira was legitimately worried for himself. But it was par for the course, this trouble the male lead had in recognizing faces would be what leant some drama to the story.
Otherwise it would be too easy, and we couldn’t have that, could we?
A shout cut through the air from the look-out. Ira turned slightly, just enough to see the young boy high up above the ship, staring through the binocular with a frozen expression. The boy breathed in deeply and screamed, in full terror, “P-Pirates!”
Finally, some action.
And Ira thought he would have to incite mutiny for something to happen.
He dropped the broom he was holding and went over to the edge of the ship. He could, faintly, see in the distance a ship. Improving his vision, he could see the pirate flag dancing over the other ship.
The Captain ran across the ship as well, to get a good look through the binocular he kept on his person at all times. The man was only a level above Ira and after he had sworn quietly to himself, he looked down at Ira and barked, “What are you doing just standing there?! Get the cannons ready!”
See? He had no idea who Ira was.
Shrugging, Ira wandered off to find the cannons under the deck. Maybe shooting them at a ship would release some of his pent up energy? It was worth a try. he was still in withdrawal from his precious manga and needed something to take out his anger on before he compromised the mission himself. And that was something he simply couldn’t do. He did take some pride in his job.
Also, his pay would undoubtedly be cut and that would just add to the problem.
Under the deck was complete and utter chaos. The people were running all over the place, trying to get everything ready and the smell of blood and sweat was especially strong down here. With nary a thought, Ira turned off his ability smell anything at all and was pleased to note that it helped immensely.
He shoved his way through the mess of people and made his way to a cannon. After a brief grimace, he helped push into place and took the place of the aimer. You know, the one that would light the thread.
The guy, a very ugly guy, that was carrying over cannonballs looked Ira over shrewdly. “What are you doing down here? Shouldn’t you be up on the deck?”
Look at that. An actually intelligent guy. Ira felt so proud. “The Captain ordered me to help with the cannons. And besides, I thought you needed all the help you could get after the last battle. Didn’t four of your men die?”
“Six of them.” the man grumbled, but didn’t make Ira move. Ira counted it as a victory.
Now he got to shoot cannonballs.
He should do missions like this more often.
As the pirate-ship got closer, the people with the cannons loaded the cannonballs and waited for the Captain’s order to shoot. Ira felt a grin pull at his lips in waiting of the carnage to come. It would be absolutely glorious.
Ah, blood. Was there anything better than to spill it?
They got the order to shoot, and without waiting for anyone else to object to interject with ideas, Ira aimed at the oncoming ship, and set fire to the thread. It fizzled its way down and a boom shook the cannon as the cannonball flew away. Ira watched gleefully as it hit the other ship, tearing through the main mast and knocking it over.
Another ball was inputted in the cannon and Ira lit it up again. Again, he hit the ship as it fired back with cannons of its own. He could feel their ship get hit, but knew it was nothing to worry about. This wasn’t the moment when it sank.
Instead of worrying about it needlessly, he returned fire with a fervor that was probably a sign of psychopathic tendencies.
Not that that bothered him.
Eventually, unfortunately, the battle died down with the pirates defeated and floating in the water. The ones that didn’t just die, that was.
As a ship full of noble naval officers, the pirates that were still alive were dutifully fished out of the waters and placed in the brig. They would be transported back to land where they would be tried for their crimes and then summarily executed. That was always what happened to pirates that were caught. Unless, of course, they managed to escape.
Maybe Ira should help with that…
He was bored. So, so bored. This battle was the first interesting thing to happen since he entered this world.
And there were still weeks to go until that storm.
Damn it all.
As the battle was over and repairs were ongoing, Ira was once again back on the deck, slowly lugging around a mop and some water. Without any effort put into it whatsoever, he dragged the mop across the floor and watched the semi-clean line that was revealed after it. Then someone stepped on it and the floor was covered in filth again.
Yeah, he definitely had psychopathic tendencies.
Keeping his murderous thoughts under lock and key, he walked over the deck with the mop flailing after him. Occasionally, he shoved it in the water and then repeated the action.
He could honestly not tell the difference.
The sun was still shining down on them all unceasingly.
As night approached, the coldness set in and the various members of the crew retreated to under the deck for some protection from it. Candles and oil-lamps were lit up as the ship descended into darkness and above them, a map of stars was revealed. The navigation officer immediately checked their position against his maps while Ira marveled at the amazing view. The moon was full and took up what seemed like a whole quarter of the sky.
Ira sat back against the edge of the ship, enjoying the view and covered in a blanket he had stolen from the Captain’s quarters. So far, no-one had caught onto the fact.
As he had gotten into the habit of spending his nights, he recalled a book in his memory and read it in his mind. Before long, he felt sleep summon him and he was glad to comply. Somehow, the world had gotten duller since his last mission, but he didn’t know why. It was odd, and he didn’t like it.
Just as sleep was about to take over his thoughts, beautiful voices resounded in his mind.
come… seek us… come… seek us… come… seek us…
Mermaids. Of course there were mermaids nearby. That was how the mermaid princess fell in love with the Captain, she followed them for months, staring up at him through the waters. Obviously, others must have come to see what all the fuss was about.
He could already hear the panic below the deck as people woke up from their sleep, already in the process of climbing out the openings for cannons if they could fit.
That was the thing.
These weren’t the mermaids so popular in fiction and fairytales. No, these were bloodthirsty predators whose preferred food were humans. Honestly, he didn’t really get how the princess could fall in love with the male protagonist. There must be something quite special about the Captain. Or something wrong with the princess.
One or the other. Or maybe both.
Ira couldn’t care less.
He could hear some hit the water, and with his advanced hearing, he heard the orders frantically being barked. But, luckily for them, no-one was stupid enough to go after the enthralled human that had jumped overboard. Undoubtedly, the human was already being devoured.
The voices continued their pleading until dawn.
By the time the ship rose, Ira was well-rested and ready to take on the comping day. Or, more precisely, fake his way throughout and be as lazy as he could be.
In the end, five members of the crew had jumped overboard, enthralled by the mermaids, and the rest of the crew had apparently had to tie themselves down to prevent anyone from following. It was a shame that Ira had missed that sight. As the crew shuffled into the light, it was easy to see that they hadn’t gotten any sleep, all of them looking absolutely exhausted down to their bones.
Ira shuffled over to his mop and broom and after some contemplation, picked up the broom to begin his routine of avoiding his duties. Unlike the rest of the crew, he had slept very well.
Really, they were such weaklings.
