It’s Not The Same - Chapter 8 Consoling

In the beginning I used to tell him that it hurts me a lot when he doesn’t talks to me. The sad truth is that so many people are together but not in love, and so many people are in love but not together. You know my eyes used to bleed, my soul used to scream, my heart shattered but still his one smile healed everything. Sometimes even though you are having a good time, you can’t help but to stop think about how much you miss the old times.

Whenever I used to tell him about he has changed after meeting new people, he only used to say “the more people I meet, the more I realize that it’s only you I want to be with.” That was really enough for me to get convinced and he always did it very well, because he knew that whatever he said anyway I’m going to believe it.

I said “you are my priority but I’m just an option for you”. He said “you are not a question, you are the answer for my life”. He asked me “have you started hating me?” “I don’t hate you, I’m just disappointed, because you turned into everything you said you would never be.” It was harder to wait around for something that might never happen, but it’s even harder to give up when it’s everything you want. “you know I just wanted to make my dreams come true and live my life with you and love you more than one can do. But you left me all alone and I was speechless days were longer and nights were sleepless. Why you did this to me? is anything wrong with me” I asked him. He said “my dear its nothing like that I’m just little busy nowadays. Being in love doesn’t mean you should talk everyday. Without talking also you can be in love. Why are you in a doubt about us?” I don’t know what happened to him. But my inner voice was warning me not to listen to him, but I avoided my inner voice and believed him. Because his voice was easily reaching my soul not my inner voice.

I was really unable to distinguish between Krishna and true love in my heart. Because he was the one who owned my heart, my soul, while looking at him my vision says to me that it is the best thing which you could ever see. While listening to him my ears said to me it is the pleasant thing you could ever hear. Day by day I started feeling that he meant the world to me but I meant nothing to him. The more I got attached to his thoughts the more I fell in love with him. The more I fell in love with him my tears started expressing them by flowing down. Even ever trying hard I was unable to stop myself from thinking about him. That time the main issue was that I was not understanding his problem, and he was not explaining it. After meeting him I never felt alone, actually he never let me feel like that. But now he was the one who made me feel alone. Because whenever I needed a shoulder to lean he was always there without even saying, but now even if I call him he is not around. I needed him. Maybe he was around and I could not see him. But I knew that he was there when I needed him the most. The loneliness was only because he was not around. The way he consoled me was the only thing which kept our relationship alive during that time. And I was happy that some amount if love is left between us.