Kill the Lights - Sidetrack 6

Mason, who after more than 30 minutes of aimlessly staring out the window, had been stretching his stiff body when by chance he saw a man in a black hat and raincoat peering around his surroundings suspiciously. No, saying it was by chance wasn’t true.

For the past few days, due to the measures Noah took to make him reflect, Mason had been quietly recovering. Besides watching a movie or television, there was nothing else to do. ‘As a diversion, let’s look for that stalker that has slowly become more of a nuisance every day.’

He stood, staring darkly out the window, while looking in the location that the stalker would most likely appear. Originally, lying in wait for targets was not a livelihood where you could say ‘how easy’. But right now, it wasn’t as if he was waiting outside for four nights or underground. He’d be willing to wait for a year for the target.

It had been a simple and uneventful couple of days, staring out the window. But the moment he had seen a man in a black raincoat snooping around Noah’s mansion, Mason had thought, “So he is that lowlife.”

Actually, it wasn’t just that man who had been snooping around Noah’s house. Persistent paparazzi with no fear, and of course, fans that love Noah. Mason had noticed him because of the strange paper envelope he carried that made him stand out.

A small build and brown hair, while hiding his face. Mason’s keen instincts were working quickly. Before the security guards could chase the stalker off, Mason rushed down to the lower floor.

On the way, Mason ran into Noah who was in the middle of entering the house. However, Noah did not try to grab and stop Mason who was hurriedly running out. He only asked “Where are you going?”

Mason answered, “Just taking a walk.” and rolled his eyes.

“With that leg?” Noah narrowed his eyes and scoffed.

“It is rehabilitation. It wouldn’t be good to have any aftereffects .” Mason retorted and laughed in his face.

Mason ran out like the wind to look for the man in the black raincoat. ‘It’s not even raining, what sort of clothes is he wearing?’ While thinking that he ran out, but the raindrops lightly began to come down.

As soon as black raincoat saw the security guards coming towards him, he turned and at a quick pace he ran away in the opposite direction. Mason followed after him.

‘I’m just going to take a look at his face.’ thought Mason. All he wanted to do was confirm who his opponent was. He would leave catching that lowlife to the hyungnim bodyguards with strong bodies.

Making someone so annoyed! What sort of lowlife is so like a poop fly in the way that he acts. Mason was curious, if it really was a staff member or an actor on the inside, perhaps it might be the face of someone he knows.

Of course, he was also curious as to who the hell was the enemy that had injured Noah’s beautiful fingers.

After thoughtlessly cutting off the unfortunately timed phone call of Vic’s and turning off his phone, Mason firmly pressed a hat down on his head and disappeared into the crowd.

After thoughtlessly cutting off the unfortunately timed phone call of Vic’s and turning off his phone, Mason firmly pressed a hat down on his head and disappeared into the crowd.

The man in the black raincoat walked quite a long distance. Mason’s legs were slightly numb, and due to the light drizzle his clothes were damp, which caused his body to feel cold. ‘It’s so annoying, should I just call out loudly to check his face?’ Mason contemplated doing so for a bit, but it was obvious that doing it that way would be much more troublesome. It would be dangerous for him to run up and grab the man’s shoulder. If it was his original body, before they even took a few steps, he would have already grabbed that lowlife and pinned him to the ground. But this type of activity would be too difficult for Haley’s body. However, thinking about it, the opponent has a small frame, it might be possible…..

“……….”

It would be a stupid thing to do…… Mason licked his lips. Living as Haley was much more comfortable and easier than living as Mason Taylor, but there was so much difference between the physical abilities that there were a lot of restrictions on behaviour. ‘What to do.’ While pondering over it, Mason kept following the man. The man disappeared into a slightly deserted road. ‘Perhaps he got wind of being tailed.’ Mason thought. But that wasn’t it, the man went into a small shop and bought a packet of cigarettes and some alcohol. ‘So he’s a lowlife that does all bad things.’

Mason started tailing him more closely than he had in the beginning. After all, whether the man was staff or an actor, wouldn’t it be possible to casually go up and say hello like acquaintances? Pretend to have met by chance, exchange greetings, identify his face, say, “I’ll see you again on set.”, and then leave. There was a possibility of being thought weirdly of but it wouldn’t be bad. However, it would be troublesome if the man wasn’t staff or an actor…. The lowlife walked into an alley. Just as Mason walked a bit faster and tried to follow him into the alley.

“….-!!”

Someone grabbed him from behind by the shoulder and pulled him back. “Hup”, without realising he let out a gasp of surprise. A large, cold hand firmly blocked his mouth. No way, he was being tailed? Mason felt cold sweat running down the back of his neck, he raised his head and the cap he was wearing caught on the other person’s chin. That person slightly furrowed his brow.

“No….”

Noah. Mason’s lips soundlessly formed the name of the man who had appeared from behind and embraced him. Once again, with a face full of frustration, Noah was standing behind him.

“Noah, this place.”

Before he could finish saying, ‘How are you here, at this place.’ Noah grabbed Mason’s wrist and with a cold face, roughly dragged him away. Phil and a bodyguard were waiting in front of a car parked by the side of the road. Because of those two’s appearance, people who were passing by glanced at them and stopped walking.

“Ugk.”

Because of Noah’s fast paced walk, Mason’s leg throbbed and he let out a groan, Noah came to an immediate halt. The wrist that was grabbed also had red marks appearing on it.

“Noah, how on earth are you here at this place?”

Mason panted, out of breath. Noah took a deep breath, swept his hair up to the side, and slowly turned. Mason rubbed the wrist that he had let go and looked up at him.

“What am I doing here, you ask.”

Noah bent his head down to look Mason in the eyes.

“That’s a question I want to ask you. Didn’t you say you were going out for a walk?”

A walk? To this distance? Noah sneered and laughed. Mason, who was going to insist that it was a walk, instead shut his mouth. No matter how you look at it, Noah’s face was that of one who would refuse to just let it go.

“You went after the stalker yourself…… I can’t even imagine what on earth you were thinking.”

Noah said, as if he were genuinely curious. Mason licked his lips. Since when and where did Noah start following him, that his senses did not even catch it. Was he following from the beginning? No matter how focussed he was on the stalker, it wasn’t enough to not have noticed that.

“Why. Did the stalker seem small and short enough to be easy to catch?”

“I, it wasn’t that…. the face, I just wanted to identify it.”

Mason tried excusing himself by saying it wasn’t like that. It wasn’t that he didn’t think about how it would be good if he caught the stalker. However, he didn’t completely forget about his body’s condition. Noah replied, “Oh, is that so. How fortunate. How great. That you didn’t do it.” however, his face became more infuriated.

“And after identifying, what then? That person would also know that you’ve identified him. After that whatever will be, will be?”

“No, that isn’t….”

‘I’ve been contemplating on what to do, so I came all the way here….’ Mason trailed off the rest of his sentence and secretly looked around at his surroundings. The current hottest Hollywood couple with very rare media exposure, the Haley couple. Not only did they appear on the streets, but the atmosphere around them was sharp and like that of a fight. People were stopping and staring or holding up their cell phone cameras. Although his own image was originally that of a troublemaker, Noah the amiable gentleman getting upset on the street, it would be shocking in the eyes of everyone. Mason grabbed Noah’s wrist and turned towards Phil. He opened the car door and Mason led Noah to the car. Before the paparazzi could do anything, the car had already left.

“………..”

The pupils of Noah’s green eyes shook with suppressed anger and annoyance. Mason licked his lips and carefully choose his words. It felt as if he should say something, but other than stupid excuses, he couldn’t think of any line to say. After following the stalker and identifying his face, honestly, he hadn’t thought about what to do at all. In his past mercenary years, his reckless actions during operations were because he was confident in his ability of escaping bad situations. Mason thought he had been conscious of Haley’s delicate body, but in retrospect he hadn’t. He had been pretending to think rationally, while his body had actually been acting upon his emotions.

“…..I’m sorry.”

Noah’s green eyes were shaken, similar to a few days ago when he apologised after fainting on set and angering him. However, this time he didn’t say, “That’s right. I also, was too extreme.” He merely closed his mouth and faced forward again.

“I have to eat alone today?”

Mason, who had gone down to the restaurant during dinner time, asked Phil to repeat himself. He had known that Noah was angry earlier in the afternoon, but he didn’t know that he would actually refuse to eat together. It was because when he stayed at Noah’s house, no matter how busy they were, they had always eaten dinner together. ‘When we meet during dinner time, I should apologise again.’ Mason, who had thought that from the bottom of his heart, showed a face with an expression that said he had no idea what to do, the longer that Noah didn’t appear. He rubbed his forehead and asked, “Very…. he must be very busy?”

Whether he was too busy to eat or if he was skipping the meal because he was angry, Mason tried sounding out by asking Phil. Phil said with a curt face.

“Same as always.”

“….I see.”

He must be very angry. Mason sat back down with a bitter taste in his mouth. An empty and lonely dining table. Noah’s empty seat was quite unpleasant to the eye. Mason firmly grabbed hold of Phil.

“What about you?”

“Yes?”

“Are you not going to eat?..Since you’re going to eat anyway, let’s eat together.”

“No, I will separately….”

“I know that you dislike me, but wouldn’t it be alright if we had at least one meal together?”

Even though he knew he was giving Phil a difficult time, he still held on tightly. He was anxious and frustrated due to making Noah angry, so he was in the mood to bother someone.

“…. I clearly told you before, that I do not dislike nor hate you.”

Phil answered with a calm face, then sighed and sat down. Right away, the maids brought in the food. There was nothing but the small sound of tableware clattering. Instead of peeling the shrimp, Mason stared at Phil. Just like Noah, Phil quietly ate his meal.

“Did the two of you grow up together since childhood?”

Mason tacitly inquired. Come to think of it, ten years ago, Phil had still been at Noah’s side assisting him. Back then it wasn’t this much of a professional secretary feeling, however from a young age Phil had received training to become Noah’s assistant.

“Yes. -did Mr. Raycarlton tell you about this?”

“Well…. something along those lines.”

Mason nodded his head lightly. The Phil from back then had left a very vague impression. He remembered work matters from 10 years ago, yet the only thing he remembered about Phil, was when he came to see Mason the day before his one month of work was over.

At that time, Phil was a young man in his early twenties and he had made all sorts of offers and propositions he could to Mason. Houses, cars, an exclusive contract, as long as he remained in the States, anything possible would be done for him.

When Mason asked curiously, ‘Why are you doing things to this extent?’

‘Just for a bodyguard from a mercenary company, for one person, why are you doing this much?’

Phil answered, ‘From a young age, I’ve been receiving training to become Noah’s assistant.’

‘I’ve been taught my entire life for that reason alone.’

‘If you do not protect Noah, won’t my lifelong duty disappear?’

The Phil from that time was a child that gave off the smell of freshly cut grass. Mason acted in a business-like manner, but he had some difficulty speaking. ‘Whoever it is…. a bodyguard that is more skilled than me, will be able to protect him.’

‘There is also someone like you by that child’s side.’

Due to Mason’s words, Phil’s face which always had a professional expression, crumpled and he made a tearful face.

Back then, Mason couldn’t understand at all why he had shown such an expression, why he had said that sort of thing. But thinking back now, he could understand the meaning of that sentence.

“I’m glad that you didn’t lose your job.”

“…..pardon?”

To Phil, and of course to Mason, the fact that Noah was alive was an extremely joyous thing. In answer to Phil’s curious face, Mason laughed as if he didn’t mean anything and speared some shrimp and vegetables with his fork.

Hmm, anyway, what to do. Mason contemplated with some difficulty. For the time being, going to meet Noah and apologising, “I won’t do it again.” and, “I’m sorry.” Would that be the best thing to do. Truthfully, he wasn’t confident that he wouldn’t ever do such a thing again. He didn’t want to become the type of man who was all talk, but when he thought about the furious Noah, ‘let’s try to get out of this situation for the time being’, that type of feeling took hold of him. Even though he wanted to be a bad man, there was no helping it.

“….-today, on the streets, for stopping Mr. Raycarlton, thank you.”

“Pardon?”

“Nowadays, personal phones and the internet has developed so much, that there isn’t much different between regular people and the paparazzi. If Noah Raycarlton had been filmed having an argument on the streets with his lover, it would have been so noisy that we likely wouldn’t have had the time to have a meal like this.”

Although there are a couple small, discordant rumours going around, they are currently being stopped.- Phil said in a slightly tired manner and Mason chuckled with a smile.

“Well, the fact that Noah can get angry, people would be surprised.”

Most likely, no one will believe that Noah was getting angry on the street with his lover, but rather that Haley Lusk had made a big problem again. Of course, this time he had been in the wrong-…Mason once again let out a big sigh.

“…What do you think about Mr. Raycarlton?”

“What?”

Mason tacitly and carefully inquired while lifting his head.

“What I think of him… much more short-tempered and sensitive than what people think and see of him…. handsome, has a lot of money, and seems as if he has some bad taste.”

As Mason’s emerging thoughts started flowing out, Phil said, “Ah, no.” and stopped talking. He made a slightly embarrassed face.

“….I was talking about emotionally.”

“However, you seem to know quite well.” he said. Mason looked, with the stoicism of an interviewer, at the staring Phil.

“Is that so.”

Mason put down the tableware that he was holding.

“I don’t think that’s a matter that you should be meddling in.”

He had asked for a meal, not to air out the depths of his heart. Phil let out a small sigh at Mason’s flat words.

“It’s not that I dislike or hate you, rather I am uncomfortable and worried.-You have that sort of aspect.”

This man was similar to someone Phil knew. Phil was uncomfortable and worried due to that. At first, anything weird or doubtful about Haley Lusk, he had thought ‘it must be because he’s a different guy in reality’, and so he became careless. He wouldn’t care about someone who stayed within boundaries, but for a person who stepped out of line, there was no mercy.

If you liked someone, it’s natural to try to look good to people around that person. Everyone who had tried to approach Noah, had attempted to look good in front of Phil. But when they tried to ask one more question about Noah, they had no idea what to do if Phil made an expression of inconvenience. He hadn’t received that sort of treatment from Haley.

Even while saying ‘I know that you don’t like me.’ or ‘I’m aware you hate me.’ Haley had never attempted to change anything. At the base of the matter, that type of cold feeling made the words ‘although I invite you to have a meal, don’t cross the line.’ unnecessary to be said. He was indifferent and dismissive to others. He was similar to the man who had left to Afghanistan, the man whose mind would not be changed, despite many people trying to keep hold of him, whether it was the Raycarlton husband and wife or Phil.

‘Why do you only like these type of people?’

While thinking about how Noah’s tastes were as strange as always, Phil stared at the man in front of him.

“Mr. Raycarlton is a man who is mentally weaker than he looks. It’s not that I’m attempting to meddle, but rather it’s because I am truly worried for him.”

Phil placed the tableware he was using down, drank water, and finished up eating saying, “That person, is someone who depends highly on others. How high….. basically everything. To me, the fact that he is alive and living like that, I’m amazed and due to that, every single day I am nervous. Truthfully, the fact that you were able to grab his attention and are together like this, there are many times when I can’t believe it.”

Due to carefully choosing between words that he shouldn’t say and words that he should, Phil wasn’t sure whether he was able to convey his meaning properly. Haley wore an indifferent face, while he listened halfheartedly. Phil let out a small sigh.

“….that person, he isn’t angry, he’s scared.”

When Phil hesitatingly said that, Haley lifted his head.

“Because a man that he held in regard as very precious, quite recently died…..”

Phil said this, while worrying that it might make Haley’s mood bad and cause the two of them to have a bigger fight. He knew he was presumptuous speaking on this subject, but there was no way he couldn’t. Just like 10 years ago, when he forwardly propositioned and tried to hold onto Mason, Phil was now holding onto Haley.

“……………”

At his words, Mason licked his lips and rose from his seat. He let out a short sigh and Phil felt nervous.

“Where is Noah right now?”

Haley asked, Phil hesitated and then answered, “He is in the second floor study.” Sighing and wearing such a calm face, there was no way to know what he was thinking. Whether he was going to argue because he was in a bad mood, Phil was utterly unable to tell.

“Continue eating .”

Haley patted Phil’s tense shoulder and walked out of the restaurant. Phil sat stiffly for quite some time, before letting out a long sigh and rubbed his face with both hands. After contemplating for a while, ‘did Mason already know about Haley’….. although the thought came to mind…. it wasn’t something that mattered.

Mason stood in front of the second floor study door and contemplated for a bit. As soon as he had heard Phil’s words, his first thought was, ‘As I thought, I should go see Noah.’ However, contrary to what he thought, when he stood in front of the door, he felt slightly nervous.

‘….that person, he isn’t angry, he’s scared. Because a man that he held in regard as very precious, quite recently died…..’ the dead person who Phil spoke of, Mason knew quite well who they were.

Mason let out a small sigh and then knocked on the door. ‘Tak tak’, a sharp knocking sound, but he couldn’t hear any noise from inside. Mason rapped on the door again, gave up, and opened it.

“……If there is no answer, not coming in would be the polite thing to do.”

From within, a slightly subdued voice was heard. Mason answered, “I know.” admitting his rudeness.

“You didn’t come eat.” Mason said, while feeling slightly nervous. Accompanied with a small sigh, the voice was heard again.

“I sent Phil. To say, ‘eat alone, today’.”

“Mm. You did.”

Mason walked across the dark study towards where the sound of that voice came from. Noah laid inside on a sofa, covering his eyes. He was pressing on the corner of his eyes with his hand, Mason carefully asked, “Are you hurting somewhere?/Where does it hurt?”

Hurts. Noah swallowed a breath and Mason stretched out his hand and felt his forehead. His head hurts? Whether it was a lie or not, Noah’s forehead was drenched with sweat.

“Are you alright?”

‘Should I call a doctor’, Mason removed his hand and tried to get up. With great force, Noah dragged on Mason’s arm and pulled him onto his own body. Then he lifted himself up and hugged Mason who lay hesitantly across his body.

“Mason.”

Noah spoke in a slightly choked, wet voice.

“Mason…. answer me. Mason.”

“……-yes” Mason answered.

‘koong, koong’ Mason felt his heart, beat slow and heavy.

“Mason….”

Noah swallowed a breath and his shoulders flinched. His shoulders trembled slightly like he was afraid.

Mason answered again.

“Yes. Noah.”

Mason felt the clinging on Noah’s back rise and fall in a sigh. Noah took a deep breath, let out another long sigh.

“….this is real.

Noah muttered with a small smile, as if he had just realised. Noah, who had showed a smile full of gratitude to the Mason sitting in his embrace, suddenly pushed him away and got up. When Mason, who was puzzled from being pushed away, saw Noah had gotten up and was trying to leave to avoid him, he was confused and taken aback.

No, rather than leaving, he opened the door and looked at Mason. As if asking, ‘leave now’.

“Noah.”

“Did I ask you to come in?”

Noah asked if he had given permission. To his tired face, Mason did not know how to react. Looking at Mason’s flustered expression, Noah supported his head and sighed.

“That’s not….I’m not trying to make you feel embarrassed. Right now, I am clearing up this confusion.”

His head feeling like it was about to burst, Noah wet his lips and spoke with difficulty.

“Me being by your side would be better….”

When Mason spoke the words that he had said last week on set during their phone call, Noah laughed quietly.

“Usually, it is. It’s like a mental illness is caused by your absence. However, today this confusion is caused by you. Being alone would be better to take care of this.”

As if asking for understanding, Noah smiled slightly.

“Fine. Me going out would be fine as well.”

Noah, who shrugged after seeing Mason standing frozen, said ‘good night’ and turned to leave the study. Mason hurriedly grabbed his arm.

“Noah, I.”

To stop Noah, Mason had the resolve to say anything, but did not know what to say.

“…if you keep stopping me, I may lose my temper at you.”

“Be angry.”

Getting angry seemed to be better. In the elevator, in the hotel room, the Noah who had gotten angry at him was much better than the current Noah. In answer to Mason’s words, Noah spoke, “And if you get tired of me and leave, who is it good for.” then laughed bitterly.

“Noah.”

Mason gently called, Noah let out a small sigh. Seeing that really tired face with a set mouth that showed dislike, Mason handed over his long-planned apology.

“I’m sorry.”

“What for.”

“During the day, for making you worry….”

At Mason’s words, Noah cut him off, “It’s alright. Since it’s a typical occurrence.”

“I’ve already said, worrying about you is my everyday routine.”

Even while saying it was fine, Noah did not seem to be. He lowered his gaze and laughed lowly.

“I know you were originally the type to carry around and throw your life away like a piece of toilet paper. From the time you voluntarily went to that dangerous place (Afghanistan), and the fact that you’ve never once refused a dangerous mission given by that moronic company (Zii), I knew you were that type of of person. The type of person who feels no regret, no matter when they die. Because it was possible every day.”

Noah spoke slowly and calmly, as if talking about any topic. Mason blinked and looked at him. Noah was not speaking about recent events, but rather of those from 10 years ago.

“Therefore, my nerves were split and torn apart strand by strand, -since I didn’t know when you would die-. Every. Day.”

As if he wasn’t going crazy enough, day after day. Tomorrow, Mason might die. Tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, whenever Noah thought those type of thoughts, he went a little crazier.

Although I wanted to immediately take you out of that shitty company, drag you away from the battlefield, and lock you up in a safe place… although I thought that every day, I was unable to do so.”

Noah lifted his head and looked at the frozen Mason. When Noah saw those sea-blue eyes without lenses, he laughed.

“Why, because you and I have no relationship to speak of.”

“Noah….”

Hearing Mason groan-like call, Noah let out a short sigh. He pulled off the hands Mason used to hold onto him, “You’re telling me to get angry.” he said in a self-deprecating tone of voice.

“I am….very well aware I have no right to get angry.”

To worry every day to the point of being angry, does not mean he obtains the right to meddle in his (M) health. Whether it is his health, body, or life, Noah had no right to meddle. Every day he went crazy wanting to gain that right, but Noah still was unable to gain that right. Mason had kept that black bag on hand as if he was ready to leave at any moment, and Noah was unable to say even a single word about it.

“I know that I have no qualifications. Right now, like this, I should be satisfied…. Compared to back then when I couldn’t even see your face, being able to be by your side, I’m happy beyond belief. I shouldn’t be greedy, I’ve thought that tens, hundreds of times every day.”

Noah spoke earnestly in order to not appear as a young whining child. “In fact, I wanted to have the desire to give up. Although giving up wasn’t easy, it wasn’t hard to pretend to give up.”

“At first, I thought just by hearing you didn’t die and were still alive and existing, would make me happy. After you saved me, of course I thought it would be better to die like that, however…”

Noah let out a low laugh. It was the type of laugh that was self-deprecating. He stared at Mason’s hands for a long time. When those hands had touched his body, unlike what he had thought, things did not go back.

“…………”

Mason looked at Noah, who was staring at his empty hands. Staring regretfully, although he had been the one to remove his hands, with eyes that looked like they were about to tear up, Mason held back the urge to hug him. Noah opened and closed his mouth several times, as if trying to choose his words.

“….truthfully.”

He suddenly whispered, as if he was about to tell a secret.

“Until recently, although I disliked you being hurt, on the other hand I liked it.”

For him (M) to do so much for himself (N), it seemed as though he (M) valued him (N) that much. Whenever Noah saw Mason’s leg limping or being in pain, inwardly his heart felt sweet. Noah wasn’t stupid enough to think ‘I should get more severely injured’ whenever he got injured, but it’s true that the concern in Mason’s eyes whenever he (M) saw his wounds, put him in a good mood.

“For a short while, I had forgotten what type of person you are. For you everything is easy, for the sake of shooting a couple scenes for a film, for the sake of catching a miserable stalker, jumping headlong into danger, that was the type of person you originally were….”

Noah spoke almost as if it were funny. “So the fact that you are here, confuses me. I’m happy, I’m delighted, I’m overcome with a feeling of satisfaction that even if I were to die right now I would be fine with it. On the other hand, I want even more, I’m miserable that you would do the same for anyone else….”

“So miserable that I didn’t have an appetite.” Noah murmured and watched Mason’s frozen face, trembling eyes, and helpless hands, then let out a sigh. And then sighed once more. One more time… he lifted his hands and covered his eyes and bit back the scream that was about to burst out.

“…that face, that expression causes me to delude myself.”

Mason approached Noah, who was breathing heavily to hold back from screaming, and hugged him.

“Noah. -Noah.”

Swallowing as if he were struggling to breathe, when Mason hugged him, he stopped and said,

“….Mason…..”

“Yes.”

Mason answered and hugged Noah even tighter. Noah’s shoulders were shaking slightly.

“Feels like I’m going to go crazy…..”

Noah spoke in a voice that sounded as if he were about to cry, and Mason said, “It’s alright.” and laid his forehead on his shoulder.

“It’s alright if you’re crazy. No matter what you are doing or where you are, I will save you again…”

Whether it’s Noah’s mind or body, it would not be left in dark or dangerous places. They were words that had no reason and didn’t fit the situation, but Mason still said them and could not but help hug Noah’s shoulders. Noah disentangled Mason’s arms, pushed him against the wall, and sucked his lips as if he were trying to bite them. ‘Koong.’ At that moment, his shoulders were stiff from impact, but he was unable to come to his senses.

“Hht…..!”

Noah grabbed hold of and removed the shirt Mason was wearing. Mason knew the rough motion would cause a wound, but he bit his lips and held onto him. Soon his pants were unzipped and dragged off. Mason felt his back become drenched in cold sweat, in fear of the coming pain.

“….say, ‘that’s enough’.”

Noah bit his neck hard enough to cause a sharp pain, and spoke in a low enticing tone.

“If you say, ‘that’s enough’…..I’ll stop right here.”

It wasn’t just about not doing it. Both feelings and hoping, stopping it at this time here. Mason, instead of telling him, ‘enough’, placed his lips on his (N) beautiful lips. Noah let out a small sigh and Mason a little more sweetly, sucked on his lips.

“….fuck.”

Noah pushed Mason against the wall, seized his shoulder hard enough to break it, and urgently pushed his penis between his (M) spread legs.

“………!”

No matter how familiar Haley’s body was with sex, with no stretching or lubricating, in this situation it was impossible for it to accept that large penis. However, Noah’s thing urgently pushed in and stretched open his body. Mason turned visibly pale in pain and clung to Noah. No longer able to stop, Noah lifted his (M) leg, spread them wider, and went in deeper. Standing on one leg, Mason clung even closer to Noah, and in turn, Noah thrust even deeper.

“…………”

As if drilling into his stomach, it was inserted deeply. It jerked inside, as if it were going to go off.

“Mason…..”

Mason swallowed his breath, while bearing the pain, “Ye…yes” answered him.

“……..”

Noah smiled painfully at that answer. Really did not know what to do.

“…..do it.”

You’re allowed to do it. Noah, who was about to say something, shut his mouth and kissed Mason’s trembling lips. Noah began to move slowly and Mason closed his eyes. Obviously his face was pale and his entire body was drenched with cold sweat due to the pain, but at that moment Mason thought it isn’t bad.

When he opened his eyes, it was on Noah’s bed. Unable to tell how much time had passed, but the sun seemed to be vaguely shining. Mason blankly sat up, rubbed his eyes, and looked around. Noah was quietly watching him.

“…..like a ghost, what are you doing?”

Mason swallowed in surprise and asked, Noah answered, “Dangerous thoughts.” bent his eyes and laughed.

“……………..”

Mason glanced at the head of the bed. He moved his hands to check if there was a new gun, but Noah raised his body and spoke.

“You’re quick witted.”

He had mentioned that he was having dangerous thoughts, and it was as if he had read his thoughts. Mason stopped and stared at him. The totally nude Noah, stretched as if after a good night’s rest and got up.

“……why.”

Mason grabbed hold of him and stood up, Noah stared at the hand Mason had used to grab hold of him, as if it were something sweet.

“I was just thinking about it. In their heads, everybody thinks of various things. Don’t bother about it.”

Noah grasped Mason’s hand and while kissing the back of it, he laughed.

“Are you able to move? Yesterday, I was a bit….I’ll go bring you a meal right now. Eat, then sleep a little longer.”

“Noah.”

Mason took hold of his hand and sat down. Noah bent his eyes and laughed, “Is it still not enough for that lower part?” without loosening his expression, Mason studied him.

“Due to you not throwing me away last night, my misunderstanding and delusion once again deepened. It’s because I am afraid of that being shattered.”

“What misunderstanding, what delusion.”

Why, what exactly are you so afraid of. Mason swallowed his distress and asked. Noah was not someone who had a lot of fear. While being kidnapped, he was the type of person who, as if he was out of his mind, would provoke the kidnapper. But only towards him, was he frightened speechless. As if preparing for a miserable future, he acted and thought pessimistically.

“…………..”

“What misunderstanding, what delusion…” the muttering Noah raised his eyes and looked at Mason’s cheek, then slowly raised his hand and softly stroked that cheek.

“You are Mason, but this body is Haley Lusk’s.”

Frail enough to break, sick, and also a lewd body, Haley’s body. Noah carefully stroked that body, that in his eyes was completely Mason.

“Everybody calls you Haley, because no one knows you are Mason.”

No one knows. The drama director who had filmed for 10 years did not know, his relatives, his friends, and even the manager who had been looking after him for 16 years, didn’t even imagine that he was a different person.

“Do you know? Calling you Mason is a bad thing…. in this world, no one besides me knows that you are here.”

Noah whispered, kissing the back of Mason’s slim hand. The only one in the world who knows of your existence, is myself. Everyone else was looking at Haley Lusk, the only one who saw Mason, was himself.

“You can’t even imagine how sweet a feeling this is.”

To you, that wouldn’t be a good thing… from that healthy and beautiful body to this trouble-ridden body that everyone calls Haley. There’s nothing to be glad about in this situation. Noah laughed bitterly.

“Therefore, I keep feeling as if I were special, by myself. -Although, what happened to me was because you were special.”

I noticed you, hanging on to you and persisted in calling you Mason….so it turned out like this. Noah spoke in a matter of fact tone. So you should be satisfied with this, so you won’t be disillusioned, like that 19 year old, when Mason left.

“Just as you are the only one for me, so am I the only one for you….when I thought like that, it was so sweet and blissful, I didn’t want to break free from it. Whether it were a dream, my imagination, a misunderstanding, or a delusion.”

The sole special and unique existence in this world for each other. Noah kissed the lips of Mason, who was looking at him. Unique and special. Mason repeated those words and stared at the face of Noah who had just kissed him. Wanting to ask him something since a few days ago, Mason carefully opened his mouth.

“Are we dating?”

In fact, it seemed as if Noah and himself were dating. The people of the world were waiting for the official announcement of their relationship, and Tony and Vick were already thinking that the two of them were dating. But these two had never discussed anything about it. Whether they liked or loved each other. Mason had mentioned liking in passing, but it had never been a direct comment. In the meantime, they were already having sex. Mason was always meaning to ask what this relationship meant.

“……who knows?”

Noah responded to Mason’s question with another question.

“I’ve been saying all along that I would like that, so why are you asking me that now?”

You’re the one who makes the decision… Noah spoke wildly and stared at Mason’s face. Noah waited nervously, like a convict on death row waiting for the count down.

“You’re the one holding the knife.”

The one who cuts off or ties together the relationship, even his own life, he was the one who controlled it all.

“To me, how far are you going to allow me to go?”

When should I step on the brakes. Being greedy when things seemed good, if Mason happened to leave, he would lose everything.

“I…..how much of you am I allowed to have?”

Mason looked at Noah, who was asking in a quiet voice. His lips were slightly trembling and the hand he was touching was in a similar state.

“………….”

Noah’s miserable to death, beautiful face was in fact extremely tasteful. A fair, pure face. A person who I want to protect…Mason seemed to realise where his ideal type came from and laughed a little. He had never thought of it, because he wasn’t gay or a pedophile. Mason sat up, grabbed Noah’s hand, and said,

“What you said was correct.”

If asked whether the feelings related to Noah were sexual, the answer would be unclear. He wasn’t gay, neither had he ever thought about loving a man no matter how the body looked. No matter how beautiful and his ideal type, sex with Noah still felt uncomfortable and strange to him.

“To me….the only one who calls me Mason, who thinks of me as Mason, you’re the only one.”

Mason also felt nervous and slightly trembled. To say that it was also sexual wasn’t easy, however this person was a special case. Throughout Mason’s life, there was no one who was that special. Since the moment he had heard that small sound from that bag twenty years ago, till this very moment, at every crossroad Mason had chosen Noah.

Whether it was his choice or not, Noah had always been first for Mason. When he had left him ten years ago, compared to when he had wept over his dead wife and daughter, his eyes were more wet. He did not know how to explain this attraction of the soul. In the world, if you said the greatest emotion in a relationship would be love, then this was truly love. There was no one else who could shake Mason’s feelings, Mason’s life like this. To him, Noah was a unique and special existence.

“Since there is no one but you….”

Mason reached out, hesitated as if coming to his senses, and touched the edge of Noah’s beautiful green eyes.

“Whatever you wish to choose, will happen.”

If he wished to have it all, he could have it, was what Mason said. Noah blinked. Blink, blink, as if trying to figure out what he had just heard, the beautiful pupils disappeared and reappeared. And then, from those eyes, transparent drops of tears fell ‘plok, plok’.

“…if I’m dreaming.”

“…it is reality.”

Mason watched the tears rolling down Noah’s cheek, instead of wiping them. His heart felt sorrowful, but it was also very sweet.

“It it is a dream………as soon as I wake up, I’ll feel like shooting my own head.”

Don’t wake up forever, Noah spoke and . A face that did not show happiness, but rather fear of waking up from a dream, Mason carefully kissed it.

“That gun, I removed it.”

That revolver Python at his bedside…..he took it and made use of it.

“Noah.”

Mason murmured with his lips touching his face and Noah closed his eyes. As if it were too sweet. Mason hugged his shoulders and Noah kissed Mason. To that special and unique person, he had also become a special and unique existence. More than a dream, more than imagining, more than misunderstanding, more than a delusion, reality was so much sweeter. Noah no longer thought of wishing to die.