Kimi no Sei de Kyō Mo Shinenai - Chapter 1
TL: Chaos
ED: Mateo
It might be out of the blue but my classmate at school, Mitsumine Iroha, is a girl loved by God.
She is beautiful, smart, athletic, and has a sociable personality. What kind of manga protagonist is she?
There was no way a girl like her wouldn’t become popular, and I heard that her winning the beauty contest even led to a fan club at a neighboring school. When I heard this story, I was convinced that she was so charismatic that it would not be surprising if she had a fan club or two.
One of the most famous sayings is that ‘God doesn’t give two gifts’, but it seems as if God has given her three or four things in an assortment pack, a special girl with many talents and the promise of a brilliant future who is truly loved by God.
———Now, that very same Mitsumine Iroha, was before my eyes trying to commit suicide.
“…………Who are you?”
Monday, I skipped my third period class on a clear, sunny rooftop. On the edge of the rooftop stood a breathtakingly beautiful girl. Her long and slightly brown hair shone in the sun and fluttered in the air. Her neatly dressed uniform. A perfect profile. Pure white headphones.
And a pair of shoes neatly aligned in front of a low fence that was almost nonexistent.
In this situation where anyone could see that she was about to commit suicide, she muttered in a voice that seemed to dissolve into the air, with an expressionless face that made me want to ask her where her usual smile had gone.
I wondered if it was because the wind had just stopped blowing, or if it was because I was so clear-headed in this emergency situation. Even though there was a little distance between us, I could clearly hear her voice, which was a little low even for a girl.
“No, I mean, what are you doing here?”
“What do you mean, can’t you tell just by looking? I’m going to commit suicide.”
Instead of answering my question, Mitsumine asked back, looking agitated at me, who had asked her a question with a blank look on my face.
After all, her nickname as the “perfect beauty” of Kinosaki High School wasn’t just for show. Even at a time like this, her hair is so beautiful, sweeping against the blue sky, that I almost forgot to breathe, and my mind went blank.
But she looked like she was about to start crying, and her voice sounded shaky, so I tried my best to keep my thoughts from raging out of control.
“Maybe, you too…”
Mitsumine spilled the words hesitantly. The words she spat out disappeared without reaching the end, but what was supposed to follow those words?
———Did you come here to commit suicide too?
The expression on her face showed just a hint of fear and trepidation, unlike the blank expression she had earlier. Maybe Mitsumine was just bluffing but she might also be quite agitated.
My brain finally understood what was going on, and my legs lost their strength and instantly started shaking.
I’m scared. I can’t help but be terrified.
Even so, I can’t let her die here.
I stomped on my own toe, took a moment to catch my breath, and prepared myself. With how she was acting earlier, there might still be a chance to stop her from killing herself. With that thought in mind, I walked to the opposite side of Mitsumine with a cheerful expression on my face.
“Ahhh, I see I see. That’s right, sorry!”
“…………Eh?”
“I’m really sorry, but I’m only here to skip class. Isn’t this place really nice? There’s no one here so it’s calm. It’s actually my favourite place to sleep, you know~~?”
I said without thinking and pulled out a pillow that I had hidden under the small hood on the roof. Then I glanced at Mitsumine, who was staring at me with a dumbfounded look on her face.
Okay. If I can get her interested this way, I might actually be able to do it.
“W-why are you trying to sleep at a time like this!? Even though there’s a person about to jump to their death here, do you have nothing else to say to that?”
Gotcha!
“Err, um, hmmm… Ah! If you wait five more minutes, I might be able to say something smart, so is it fine to ask for five more minutes?”
“It’s not fine, you know!? It’s not fine at all! Could you not try to wring it out so desperately!? This isn’t a joke; I’m really, sincerely speaking here!!”
“No, even if you say that…”
Even if you say that, I can’t think of anything but to try to get your attention by pretending to be dull and not being able to read the mood.
Because of the words I just gulped down, my heart was beating faster than it had ever beaten before. I wanted to think harder, but the sound of my heart kept interrupting me and I started to lose my mind.
(…All right!)
I desperately tried to push my agitation to the back of my chest and turned to her with a nonchalant look on my face.
“No, it’s our first time meeting. Wouldn’t it be irritating to be desperately told not to die? I mean, wouldn’t the value of the words of a guy like that be zero?”
“You’re right that it would be irritating, but no matter how it is, aren’t you too cold? I wonder why I had to meet this guy before I die…”
Mitsumine muttered regretfully and glanced at me as I began to place the pillow at my feet, ready to take a nap. The disdainful gaze was painful.
“Wait. Sorry. I’m still trying to catch up with my own understanding right now. Why the heck are you trying to take a nap just like that!?”
“I mean, um, I came here to skip class and take a nap…”
“Can’t you just read the mood!? I, I, I’m serious here! I seriously plan to jump off from here so…!!”
Mitsumine shouted with a face full of emotion. This is the first time I’ve ever seen her like this, so I could tell how seriously determined she was to kill herself. I’ve been staring at her every morning, so I could definitely tell.
Still, even if this is just selfishness, I can’t let Mitsumine die like this.
“Air isn’t meant to be read, it’s meant to be breathed in. Like hell I can read the colourless and transparent air!!” [TLN: the word for mood, 空気, Kūki, can also mean air.]
I energetically spat out my favourite saying from the bottom of my throat.
“Rather, why can’t Mitsumine just not die here? I don’t want you to die in my favourite place either. If that happens, they’ll definitely block it off!!”
“…You, you left your heart somewhere, didn’t you? That’s the worst possible thing to say.”
“I’m fine with being the worst! Like I said, the words from a person you just met have zero value!”
“Uuu… Your weird persuasiveness is really making me angry…!! N-normally, wouldn’t you say ‘Why do you want to die?’ or ‘If there’s anything bothering you, you can tell me.’?”
Mitsumine, who smiled self-mockingly while on the verge of tears, conveyed the unspoken message that she was not looking for such a thing at all.
That’s why I’m not going to touch on that.
“It’s not particularly important for someone other than the person themselves to know their reason for wanting to die. There’s no rule that says you can’t die without a distinct reason. Besides, there are times when you want to die even if nothing extreme happens so… Well, I’ll hear you out if something extreme did happen though.”
“…Suddenly you have a serious tone, don’t you? No well, there’s nothing like that. It’s just because I’m a bit tired of everything.”
“Hmm. I guess it’s tough being popular.”
The sudden drop in the tone of her words was so strong that I unconsciously let it leak from my mouth, and Mitsumine shrugged her shoulders and said “As I expected.”
“I think it’s strange that just because you’re popular, you’re immediately associated with happiness, don’t you? In the first place, the popular people may not have become popular because they wanted to be.”
“…………Well, when you put it that way, you’re probably right. But surely, you look happy. I think we’re so dazzled by your amazing results and your radiant appearance that we don’t realize what expression the person herself is making.”
I didn’t say that I also thought so in the morning. If I said that, Mitsumine would surely end up taking a step forward to the brink.
“…I see. That’s probably it.”
Mitsumine, who hadn’t noticed my inner thoughts, muttered something in her mouth as if to confirm something, and after a slight look of surprise, she smiled with great joy.
“You have an interesting way of thinking. It’s been a while since I’ve talked like this because I thought it didn’t matter if I died, but it’s the first time I met a person who understands this much.”
“Oh, so isn’t it fine if we talk a bit more?”
“No, it’s okay. I’ll die now.”
“…I see.”
“If I talk to you for a bit more, my resolution would be shaken, wouldn’t it? Because like you said, the words of you who I just met for the first time, have zero value.”
I felt very uncomfortable because Mitsumine, who scoffed at me and chuckled, did not look like a person who was about to die.
Because if I had come here even a little bit later, Mitsumine would be a corpse and I would be the first one to find her. The thought of talking to someone who might have been dead somehow made me realize the true severity of the situation, and gave me a creepy, fluttering unfamiliar feeling that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
I laid down on the rooftop with these thoughts in my mind, pretending to be asleep with my eyes shut, listening to my heart still thumping and trying desperately to get my mind to work despite being on the verge of panic.
Calm down. I can’t panic right now.
Aah, I’ll be honest. I’m scared. I’m very scared.
In all my life, I’ve never seen a suicide (attempt) scene, so of course I was scared. In addition, the person who was about to die was, of all people, Mitsumine Iroha, which made my head panic even more, and an inexplicable impatience spread slowly through my body.
I don’t even know what to do, the only reason I want her to stop killing herself is my selfishness, and I’m not even close to her.
It’s just that we share the same train station. She just happened to always be standing in front of me, waiting for the train. She was wearing white headphones and staring off into the distance, and I just stared at her from behind. I was just admiring her.
Still, I can’t let her die like this. Because, she’s not like me.
Even though it was such a pleasant day, I was more depressed about the start of another week, so I slipped out of the window of the infirmary and skipped class on the roof, using a method I learned from a senior who was a regular slacker, and now it had become a habit.
I was struggling to keep up with my studies at the school I had forced myself to attend, commuting by train to the school far away was a bit strenuous, and the annoying human relations were a bit troublesome. The accumulation of these little things accelerated my meaningless suicidal thoughts, and everything became unimportant.
I don’t really want to die, but I don’t know what I want to do with my life, and I’m quite tired of going to school. Just because of that, I think ‘I’m not fit to live’ and whine about it on social media.
Yes. In no time at all, I’ve become a mass-produced high school boy with “what a pain” and “I’m sleepy” as his favourite sayings.
I wonder if this is how everyone lives their lives. I’m sure they do. I guess this painful feeling of not wanting to live, isn’t exclusive to me as the only one in the world.
I’ve already noticed this in my boring daily life. But because I’m aware of it, I feel like I can’t do anything about it, so I come back to the rooftop to skip class.
In the midst of all these days, I looked forward to watching her standing up straight and waiting for the train. Whether she liked it or not, it was the only extraordinary thing I could do.
If I were to exaggerate, I would say that it was one of my reasons for wanting to live. It was special to me, a person who seemed to be living aimlessly every day.
It was such a miracle that I was able to make it here in time, albeit completely by accident. I had a chance to stall her. If that’s the case, there’s no way I can just let it go.
Maybe the only reason that there hasn’t been any good things in my life so far, was because I had to meet Mitsumine here.
This coincidence seemed like fate to my delusional mind.
If I let Mitsumine die like this, I will definitely regret it for the rest of my life.
Aah, and besides. I have a lot of tedious stuff lined up to say, but in the end it all comes down to this one thing.
———Even though I often say that I want to die, when Mitsumine says it, I feel unbearably terrified.
I really wanted to scream, “Don’t die.” I want to say, “It’s fine to live for just a while more, so please reconsider.”
However, there was no way that any words from me, someone she met for the first time, would have any effect on her.
It doesn’t matter how many times I, a stranger, tell her not to die, it’s worthless. In fact, even if her best friend or her parents were to tell her, it would be irresponsible, and might even drive her further towards it rather than stop her from committing suicide.
No matter how much they hold them back, in the end, it is they themselves who will live their lives.
Even if they live after that, who will take responsibility for them? I don’t think anyone will. If that is the case, it would be less painful to die immediately. I know this, as I have thought about dying at least once, although the gravity of the thought is different.
In the first place, she was right. Even if I had stopped her, she would still have killed herself. That’s why I had no choice but to say something that would overturn her decision.
I have to stop her from killing herself, without touching the reason or the wound.
There was only one way that I, an idiot, could think of.
“Hey. Actually, I’ve always dreamed of skipping school and going to the sea. If you’re going to die anyway, let’s go together now!”
“…………Ha?”
“No I mean, if you’re going to die anyway, isn’t it better to die after gathering some virtue by going along with me? I can fulfill my dream of skipping school and going to the sea with a girl. You can gather some virtue before you die. It’s a Win Win.”
“…Besides, I’ve already accumulated enough virtue to last me a lifetime.”
“Can you really say that for sure? I don’t care if you regret it after you go to hell for being a little short!!”
———Yes, threaten her.
As long as I don’t have a reason to stop her from committing suicide, I have no choice but to ask Mitsumine to stop for herself.
At first, Mitsumine frowned as if she didn’t understand what I was saying, but finally she seemed to understand what I wanted to say, and her beautiful face changed into a sullen expression.
“And if you go with me for today, I promise I won’t interfere with your suicide and I won’t tell anyone about it.”
“That can’t happen if I just jump off right now!”
“Ah ah, please waittt!! Please look at my right handdd!!”
Mitsumine glared at me and turned her gaze to my right. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the phone I had brought with me to play some music.
“If you jumped right now, I’ll call 119 immediately. And then, if you don’t die immediately, you’ll probably be saved!” [TLN: 119 aka emergency number in japan]
“………….Uu.”
“No, think about it clearly. You don’t want to take that one chance and be saved, since you’re popular, it’ll be even worse.”
“~~Aren’t you being mean by threatening me!? Scumbag! You’re the worst! Coward!!”
“Haaa, I don’t care whether I’m being unfair or a scumbag though?? I’m desperate for my long-cherished dream to come true! It’s a once in a lifetime chance! Hey, I’m begging you here! Don’t you wanna help this pitiful high school boy!? Right!?”
Then I knelt down in a dogeza. It was a splendid dogeza if I do say so myself. [TLN: prostrating on the ground]
No one would probably think that I was trying to cover up the fact that I was about to fall down because my legs were shaking to the limit.
Please nod.
I’m not asking you to live another hundred years. Just one day.
At any rate, please be alive tomorrow.
Please live. I beg you. I beg of you so.
I kept chanting in my mind, a prayer that could not be expressed in words.
No matter how carefully I strained my ears, all I could hear was the sound of the wind and my heart pounding loudly.
I wondered if she had died while I was looking down.
Such anxiety was the only thing going through my mind.
I was afraid of that time, which seemed like an eternity, but I had to check.
—I looked up, praying desperately.
“────────”
Blue sky. White clouds.
And a breathtakingly beautiful girl.
“Ahh geez! Stop kneeling already, you’re too desperate!!”
Before me stood Mitsumine Iroha, who was regretfully holding out her hand to me.
She, didn’t die.
“…Well, since my desire to die won’t change anyway, I’ll go along with you for today. In exchange, the condition is that you definitely can’t tell anyone about me committing suicide!”
“Roger! As a thanks, I’ll make the trip enjoyable!”
After I said that, I desperately raised the corners of my mouth and took Mitsumine’s hand.
At that moment, I was sure that Mitsumine’s hand was so cold that I almost unconsciously let go.
“…It’s surprisingly easy to sneak out of school.”
“Well, people who think like that can do anything!”
In contrast to me who was giving her a thumbs up with a big smile, Mitsumine’s lips were pouting and she had a look of dissatisfaction on her face. Even so, considering the fact that she successfully left the school and came along with me, it seems that she is planning to stay with me until the end.
Was it really because she was afraid of dying? Or did you give up on the idea of killing yourself today because I interrupted you?
As I was thinking about this while gazing at her beautiful profile, Mitsumine’s head suddenly turned toward me. My heart skipped a beat at this sudden conduct.
“…Key.”
“Eh?”
“Like I said, the key that I had! Return it!”
Key.
The key she was referring to was, of course, the key to the roof.
Unlike Mitsumine, who apparently had already made arrangements to leave early, I had to go back to the infirmary since I skipped class through the infirmary route.
At that time, I took the key to the rooftop so that Mitsumine wouldn’t commit suicide before I came back.
“Yes. Here.”
“…………Eh.”
“Why do you look so surprised?”
“…I don’t have that sort of look on my face though?”
After saying that, she timidly took the key that was on my hand and hid it in the inner pocket of her uniform as if it was important.
Apparently, she thought that I would not return the key so easily.
I guess that’s true. To tell the truth, I didn’t want to return the key either.
Still, if I took the key away, I would lose the little bit of ‘trust’ that I might have gained from Mitsumine.
Besides, it would be more convenient if she was thinking of killing herself on the roof. It’s better than having her kill herself somewhere else, somewhere I can’t get to, without my knowledge.
“…Thanks.”
I heard a small voice say from next to me. I wondered what the meaning of this gratitude was. While I was thinking about it, it was too late for me to reply, so I pretended I hadn’t heard it.
Just thinking about it more would suffocate me, so I decided to just watch the scenery outside the window change in a daze.
(The weather outside is beautiful.)
It was the first time I took the train to the sea, which was a little far away, so everything seemed new to me. Even though it was within the prefecture, I felt as if I could breathe a little easier as I gazed at the unfamiliar scenery.
I felt as if my small world, a world that was less than five centimeters in radius, had expanded just a little bit.
“Somehow, it’s so peaceful.”
Mitsumine’s muffled voice echoed in the car where we were almost the only ones.
“There are no people at all. I’m a little excited because I’ve only been on noisy and chaotic trains.”
“That’s because it’s a weekday afternoon. All the students are in class.”
“That’s true… I suddenly feel like I’m doing something wrong.”
“Uwaa, as expected from an honor student.”
“…………I’m not really an honor student. This is normal, or rather, A-kun who is so aloof is the strange one here.”
“No, I’m definitely more normal than you. Mitsumine is really serious. You don’t have to think that way, just stay excited. It’s like a field trip… Since you’re going to die anyway, you don’t have to worry about anyone getting mad at you.”
“There are some people who don’t think like that! Not everyone lives as frivolously as you do! It’s fine right! As you expect, I’m different from someone who’s already used to skipping school!!”
I didn’t tell her that this was the first time I had seriously skipped school.
When I said that, Mitsumine turned her face away as if to say, ‘I don’t care anymore’, despite having the same appearance as the Mitsumine I see on the train to school and at school, she somehow looks different.
The ‘Mitsumine Iroha’ that I know was not the kind of girl who would raise her voice like this. Nor was she likely to change her expression as frequently as this.
That’s why I want to know the real Mitsumine Iroha even more.
Not the perfect Mitsumine that everyone had idolized, but the one who was so troubled that she wanted to commit suicide just like me.
Surely I’m the only one who knows what she’s actually like. Mitsumine is a perfectionist and serious person, and I can tell from just a few words with her that she would never show her true colors unless she was in this particular situation.
(I’m kind of happy.)
I know it’s inappropriate to say this at a time like this, but the thought that I was the only one who knew a part of the perfect girl that she had been hiding naturally made the corners of my mouth rise.
“Hey.”
A sullen-looking Mitsumine tried to say something to me, but immediately stopped. Then, after wandering her gaze as if she was a little hesitant, she turned to me again.
“…………What’s your name? If I can’t call out to you, it’ll be troublesome. You’re probably in the same year as me, right?”
“I’m in the same year. Second year. Well, I’m not that conspicuous, and unlike Mitsumine, I’m in the humanities.”
“Hmm, I see… I’ve been thinking about this for a while, but you know about me, don’t you?”
“Well, Mitsumine is famous. You can call me ‘Boy A’ or whatever you want. There’s no point in telling my name to someone who’s about to die.”
The moment I said that. Mitsumine looked terribly surprised and hurt.
“…I see. But I don’t like the name ‘Boy A’ because it sounds like a crime, so I’ll call you A-kun.”
“Aah.”
I gave a small nod and looked out the window. The rapidly changing scenery was still fresh and made me forget about the suffocating feeling I was experiencing.
Next to me, Mitsumine, also seemed to be looking out the window. As usual, I was captivated by her beautiful profile———
“Hey, Mitsumine, is there anywhere you want to go?”
I tried desperately to think, but I knew that I couldn’t chain Mitsumine to this world if I just kept doing what I had been doing..
“What’s with that out of nowhere? What’s the point of hearing that from a person who’s about to die today?”
I wondered if this was payback for what I had just done. Mitsumine grinned and looked at me as if to say, ‘Gotcha’.
“…I’m sorry about earlier. It’s just that I was bored from being quiet all this time, aren’t you?”
“Well, sure.”
“Well then, let’s play shiritori with words related to the sea. The loser buys a drink for the winner.” [TLN: Shiritori is basically a word chain game where the next person in turn has to say a word with the last character of the word said before them.]
“…It can’t be helped. Then, let’s start from the sea itself. ‘Mizu’.” [TLN: Water]
“Starting off with ‘Zu’!? You look unmotivated, but you really want to win, don’t you!? Zu, zu, ‘Zuwaigani’!” [TLN: Snow crab]
“ ‘Ni’ is it? Ni, Ni, ‘Niboshi’ “ [TLN: dried sardines]
“It’s dried, so it has nothing to do with the ocean, right?”
“Shut up! ‘Shi’ !”
“Shi, shi, shi…”
Eventually, we started playing shiritori on a whim, and continued even after getting off the train. As we walked along, idly but earnestly playing the game, we arrived at our destination, the sea.
“Sa, sa, sa…? ‘Saba’ !” [TLN: Mackerel]
“Another ‘Ba’ !? There aren’t many other fish that start with ‘Ba’… Ah! Look Mitsumine, we can see the sea from here!”
“True! …Even though it’s the sea, it somehow looks different from what I’d imagined…”
“Well, there’s no way a sea as beautiful as the one in manga is conveniently located nearby. In the first place, if the sea was so beautiful that it could become a tourist attraction, we would have been here before.”
In response to my dreamless and hopeless words, Mimou laughed and nodded, letting out a “Fufu.”
“I was hoping to see a clear and beautiful sea, so you can say that again. On the other hand, maybe it’s perfect for us.”
I moved some distance away from Mitsumine, who said that to me in a self-mocking tone.
What’s perfect for us?
No matter how you look at it, though, such a quiet and desolate sea would not be suitable for Mitsumine.
“Well, don’t lump in together with you, Mitsumine-san… The sea suitable for me is the clear and beautiful ocean in Hawaii.”
“Sorry, I really feel like punching you right now.”
“Hiii…”
I concealed these thoughts and spoke nonsense, and with that, Mitsumine delivered a blow to my back. The blow was unexpectedly heavy. “Hyuu! What a hit!!” I shouted, and then she struck me again, this time in the stomach. I felt like crying because she didn’t hesitate to be violent. And yet, I felt happy about the violence, which was insane.
As I stared at Mitsumine with tears in my eyes, she met my gaze and looked at me with cold eyes.
“So, we’re here. What do you want to do now?”
‘This is bad,’ I thought, letting my eyes wander around as if I was trying to escape Mitsumine’s gaze that may have seen through me.
It’s true that I wanted to skip school and go to the beach. But for the time being, I just wanted to escape to the extraordinary sea, not that I wanted to do anything there. Since it was a haphazard plan to begin with, there was no way I thought further than just taking Mitsumine to the sea.
No matter how you look at it, I am in a big pinch.
Then, in a hurry, I desperately read out the words on the sign I spotted at that moment, trying to escape Mitsumine’s skeptical gaze.
“…It says they offer practical experience on pearl extraction.”
“Ha?”
Mitsumine looked at me dubiously.
I suppose that’s natural. I didn’t even know that pearls could be harvested in this ocean, and I’ve never even thought of trying to extract pearls. Of course, I’ve never done it.
However, this is an undeniable chance to delay Mitsumine’s suicide, even if it’s only for a little bit. I repeated my words, to pretend as if it was my intention from the start.
“Of course, it’s a standard thing to do when you come out to the sea. Trying your hand at pearl extraction.”
“What kind of standard sea are you talking about? Those kinds of seas are rare cases…”
“Eeeh! Perhaps Mitsumine, have you never done it before!? That’s such a waste of your life. It’s an extremely fun activity!”
“…………Ha?”
“It’s too pitiful to die without experiencing it even once. I’m gonna cry. Haa~. I’m glad you didn’t die at that time!”
“That’s definitely a lie, isn’t it? No matter how I look at it, you’re lying. It’s not fun.”
“Haaa? It’s not a lie~~. You can’t decide that on your own. It can’t be helped, it’ll be my treat today!”
“Sorry, but that’s not a line that’s going to make me obligated to do it.”
“Oh, looks like we’re the only customers! How lucky! It’s all thanks to it being a weekday afternoon! Ah, it’s an employee. Excuse meee!”
“A-kun, you’re not really listening to me, are you!? This KY bastard. Haa… I’m so pitiful, I just want to die…” [TLN: KY basically means someone unable to read the mood]
Even though she was sighing, after she lost to my overbearing persuasion, she eventually came along.
“Amazing, what the heck!? This is super fun! I might be a prodigy at this though!!”
After the staff at the store showed her how to remove the first pearl from the prepared shellfish, she got the hang of it and was surprisingly excited. Something about the experience of taking out the pearl seemed to resonate with Mitsumine.
“That’s good, isn’t it…”
My shellfish, on the other hand, after all the pretense, is still in a mess in my hands. And I still haven’t even found out where the pearls are.
Mitsumine smiled triumphantly as she glanced sideways at me. I hated the way she looked, just a little.
“Aree~, who was it that made me do this? Aren’t you a bit too unskillful for an experienced person~?? Well, I did it pretty easily though??”
“…I definitely won’t lose. Don’t look down on my love for pearls!”
“Fufu. Please do your utmost best~”
“Damn it! Just because you did it a bit skillfully! I’m the type of person to have their great talents mature late!”
I glared at Mitsumine, who was cackling happily, and focused all my attention on the task at hand, returning to the task of removing the pearls.
Ah, this is no good. I did it because it was necessary, but I completely dug my grave by pretending to be experienced. But I can’t just abandon it here.
(I’ll definitely take out something far more amazing than Mitsumine…!)
And as I started over, instigated by Mitsumine, the sky was already getting darker by the time I was able to retrieve something satisfactory.
“Thank you very much. It was a lot of fun.”
“It was very fun to teach you too. Your girlfriend was very good at it, wasn’t she?”
When we talked to the employee to pay the bill, the employee smiled and said this. This seemed to be the reason why she was looking at us as if she was looking at something charming while we were working.
“No, this is not my girlfriend….”
I tried to correct the misunderstanding. I sent a fleeting glance at Mitsumine, then restated my words.
Maybe this misunderstanding could be used for something else.
“Thank you very much!! She’s amazing, isn’t she, my girlfriend!? She’s the best!! Geez, I love you!”
“Haa!? Who’s your girlfrien–, mmm.”
I made a bold move of holding Mitsumine’s mouth close when she opened her mouth in disgust at my words and clamored in a whisper in her ear.
“Isn’t it fine! Just think of it as a charity for a miserable high school boy!! You’ll get a lot of virtue!! My vote will have an effect in hell for you in the future!!”
“In the first place, why are you talking like I’m definitely going to hell!? I’m definitely thinking of going to heaven! Besides, this sort of trivial thing won’t have any effect!”
“No, it will. Without a doubt it will. Don’t look down on getting a vote from me who has lived a life of only good deeds! My vote will definitely decide on whether you go to heaven or not.”
“And that’s coming from a guy who’s been skipping class. I think you need to take a good look at yourself first.”
“I’m begging you! Rather, on the contrary, how do you plan on explaining our relationship to the employee?”
“This is just a normal–…”
Mitsumine said, as she racked her brains.
We just met by chance and went to see the ocean. We’re not friends, lovers, or even classmates. We don’t have a single thing in common that can be named.
I was curious on how Mitsumine would explain our relationship, so I patiently waited for a response, then Mitsumine sighed with a sullen look on her face.
“…………Well, whatever. It’s a pain to explain it, and I’ll die soon anyway. At least in the end, I could help out an unpopular high school boy.”
“You’re really going to stab me, aren’t you…”
Between pretending that we were a couple and explaining our relationship, the hassle of explaining won out. I wondered if this was a line I should be happy with. I can’t come to a conclusion, but I don’t want to, so I’ll let it go.
Seeing me hold my chest at Mitsumine’s harsh words, the employee smiled and said, “You get along well, don’t you?” and gave us the pearls we had taken out a while ago.
“Right now, we have a campaign where we process the pearls you take out into accessories for free. The process will take around a week, will you go for it?”
In other words, if we agreed to the offer, we would have to come back here in a week.
When I glanced at Mitsumine to ask whether or not she would take the offer, her gaze was wandering about as if she was hesitant.
“…………Err.”
Maybe she wants the pearls she extracted herself, but is worried that it doesn’t matter if she dies today. Or perhaps she’s keeping quiet, unable to say, ‘It doesn’t matter because I’m going to die today.’
Mitsumine is definitely very pure, and a terrible liar. If she really didn’t want it, she could’ve simply said so without worrying about what the employee would think.
However, her purity and this turn of events is an opportunity that I want to take advantage of in order to keep Mitsumine alive for as long as possible. There was no way I could not take advantage of this.
Thinking this, I smiled cheerfully and took the hand of Mitsumine, who was making a complex face, to show off to the employee. It was the so-called ‘lover’s hold’.
“Please process it. We’ll definitely be back in a week to take it. Look, after all we’re lovers that are head over heels for each other.”
“Haa!? Wai–, A-ku–”
“Fufu, you guys are really close. I understand. I’ll be waiting for you next week.”
I bowed to the smiling employee and left the store with Mitsumine, who seemed to want to say something. As we started walking towards the station, Mitsumine glared at me and opened her mouth in frustration. It was exactly as I expected.
“Why did you say we’re going to come back next week to pick it up? Didn’t I tell you that I was going to die after this! Have you forgotten that already!? Is your brain that empty!? You KY baka!!”
“Haa!? We took them out with such trouble, so you can delay your suicide by a week, can’t you? You don’t have an extreme reason to die immediately either, so can’t you die after taking the thing that you need to receive!? I mean, weren’t the pearls Mitsumine took out the best of the best!? It would be a waste to not process it!”
“…That’s true, but–”
“Now that you say it, we haven’t had the conclusion of the ‘Shiritori related to the sea’ yet. Let’s make the prize that the loser has to listen to one wish of the winner. Wouldn’t that be more exciting?”
“D-don’t decide that on your ow——”
“Ahh, yes yes. I see now. I think I understand. Mitsumine, are you afraid of losing to me?”
I stood still, smiling to show off my unyielding spirit, all the while praying in my mind.
The two plans to name are, ‘It’s a Waste Plan’ and ‘The Instigation Plan’. As expected, she’d definitely grow attached to the thing that she took the trouble of extracting, and thus she would be instigated and irritated.
Even if she comes to hate me as a KY or an annoying guy, it’s fine. Even so, I want her to live on. By any means necessary, I want confirmation from Mitsumine’s mouth herself that she’d be standing in the train station tomorrow.
“So, what do you say?”
My heart was pounding.
“…Of course, I can’t lose no matter what! I’ll definitely kick your butt in a week!!”
Her determined and unyielding smile was too beautiful, and I lost my words for a moment. And also, aah.
I’ll be able to see Mitsumine again tomorrow. I was deeply moved by that.
“Well, it’s settled then. We’ll come back next Monday to pick it up.”
“I feel like I’ve been deceived, but it can’t be helped. It’s not going to change anything if I live for a week… I don’t understand you A-kun.”
As she said exasperatedly as if she had given up, Mitsumine’s words were completely based on the assumption that she was going to die, but I was so happy that she decided to live for one more week, that I desperately tried to stop my face from slackening.
Rather, this is where it really starts. In this one week that I had managed to somehow convince Mitsumine to live for, I’ll have to convince her to live another 50, no, 80 years.
“Alright, Mitsumine! For now, let’s run to the station!”
“Why are you so excited!? If you suddenly come at me like that, it’s scary. Really, I really don’t get you!”
Then, we arrived at the station gasping for breath from running, and played Shiritori all the way home on the train, but the game was so heated that it never came to an end.
Today alone, I’m starting to run out of vocabulary on hand, so I think I’ll buy a picture book on marine life on my way home. I’m a little embarrassed to buy one at this age, though.
With such childish thoughts, I got off at the station where I had always looked at her back, and for the first time, I looked at Mitsumine from the front and waved to her.
“Mitsumine, see you tomorrow!! I’ll definitely see you here again tomorrow!”
“…Again and again, again and again, just shut up already. It’s too hot. I can already hear you properly.”
Mitsumine said with a heartfelt look of disgust on her face, and then added on in a fleeting voice, “Bye,” and then got on the train that came immediately.
I quickly took out my usual headphones from my bag, put them on, and stared at Mitsumine on the station platform until she disappeared from sight.
“She didn’t say ‘See you later’.”
‘Bye’ was too weak of a promise to serve as conclusive evidence that I would meet Mitsumine again tomorrow. Well, I might just be too distrustful of her though.
To be honest, I was afraid of parting with Mitsumine. After all, I might not be able to meet her again. Even so, she’s the type of person to keep her promises, so I waved my hand while pretending that nothing would happen.
…………That was a lie. There was one promise that I made her make before we parted.
“Mitsumine, close your eyes.”
“…What?”
“It’s a secret. Come on, hurry up.”
“…………”
“P-l-e-a-s-e!! I won’t do anything strange!! Afterlife! For your afterlife!!”
Mitsumine probably thought it was pointless to say something to the unreasonable me.
“If you do something strange, I’ll make A-kun die with me.”
She slowly sighed, and closed her eyes. Really, she’s such a pure and good fellow.
After confirming that Mitsumine had completely closed her eyes, I took her hand and grabbed the magic marker I had taken out of my bag beforehand tightly. Then, with trembling fingers, I frantically wrote letters and numbers on her hand.
“…Okay. You can open your eyes now.”
After finishing up, I called out to Mitsumine. She immediately opened her mouth with a discontented look on her face.
“A-kun you liar. You definitely did something weird, didn’t you?”
“Isn’t this within the acceptable tolerance limit!? I didn’t do any real harm!”
“But it’s still weird. What’s this?”
Mitsumine pointed to the bandage I applied to her wrist. It was one of the things I had snatched from the infirmary when I left the school, just in case, but I didn’t expect it to come in handy here.
“This is A-kun’s toll-free number.”
“…………Do you want to go to the doctor?”
“No I won’t!?…Look here, you’re wrong. That’s not the kind of reaction I was looking for. It should be more like, ‘Kyaa~ How nice!’ “
“…Haa.”
“Please wait, don’t take me seriously.”
Weird. In the TV dramas I watched, it didn’t happen like this.
“Err.. I’ve written a phone number underneath that will connect you directly to me, A-kun, whether it’s late at night or early in the morning. It’s a special product, but this time, it’s a limited present for Mitsumine-san.”
“…Haa.”
“And it’s free for as long as you want, and I’ll answer within five rings. Uwaa! How convenient! What a bargain!”
Stop it. Please don’t look at me with such pity. Even my own heart hurts as I say this.
“That means, how do I say this, um.”
Aah. I thought it was boring, but I should’ve taken more Modern Japanese classes.
Then I would have learned that ‘the moon is beautiful’ = ‘I LOVE YOU’
And, ‘I am yours’ = ‘As long as I live’
“If you feel like wanting to die, give me a call.”
Then I could’ve phrased these words more beautifully and better.
“…Look here, now matter how you put it, I would still hate it. You were already a hindrance to my goal of committing suicide once, what makes you think I’ll give you, who I met for the first time today, a call when I feel like I want to die?”
After saying that, Mitsumine stuck out her tongue and spat out, “Really, you read too much manga.”
The fact that I can’t say anything about it because it is actually true made it even more gut-wrenching to me.
“So this bandage is a protective seal for the A-kun toll-free number? You don’t need to do that, because if I really wanted to die, I’d die alone in secret.”
Mitsumine’s words were harsh. Even though they were harsh and piercing.
I wondered if she had noticed that she had smiled for a moment while saying that. Or was it just a hallucination created by me, hoping that she did?
“…I see. It’s probably that.”
I don’t know what the truth is, but Mitsumine didn’t try to peel off the bandage, and switched her bag from her left hand, the hand with the bandage, to her right.
That was the only truth.
“Her smiling face just now, was super cute.”
I remembered the scene as I watched the train that Mitsumine had boarded pass in front of me.
The smile that I supposedly saw for a moment was much cuter than those days when I just stared at her from behind and admired her as if she were a work of art, assuming that I would never be able to reach her.
I feel like I’m going to accidentally fall into an emotion I don’t understand.
The sky was turning a faint orange color. I can’t just stand here forever. Besides, I have an important mission today, which is to stop by a bookstore and buy a picture book on marine life.
“…Let’s go home.”
I muttered to myself as I tried to get my feelings in order, and shoved the bandage scraps and the rest into my uniform pocket before walking away.
As I exited the station’s ticket gate, which was a little dim, due to the roof, the setting sun was so radiant that I squinted my eyes and scowled.
Today was a day when the sunset looked unusually beautiful.