Knights Apocalyptica - Chapter 167: Responsibility

Strength: Rank D – Tier 7 → Rank D – Tier 8

Psyche: Rank E – Tier 8 → Rank E – Tier 9

Erec stared at the notification as Yniol drove away from the storm on the horizon. These were unsurprising results of his efforts—shoving cars along the road and keeping himself together despite Fury. For them both to advance at the same time was a welcome relief. Psyche helped him control himself, while the Strength was vital above all else.

It let him slay the Stag; with it, he would find the power to achieve his goals.

With it, he’d find his mother, and ask why she left her people, her husband, him to consort with monsters not even from the same planet. What the hell was she thinking of cooperating with people like Seven-Snakes? What was she after? Getting an answer to those questions is what he needed the power for, and after he walked that road, he could decide what to do with the power gathered.

The cars slowed to a stop three hours leaving the storm. Rochester was all too eager to end their trip for the night to mourn their losses.

Eight cars, three people. Gone. Without the Knights to help, the losses would have been greater, but ultimately, the decision was made knowing that they would have to pay a cost to avoid what the giant might’ve wrought. The best they could do now was grieve.

Low, slow, and melodic notes of a guitar being strung accompanied the main fire in the camp as the cars pulled around in a big circle. Unlike a normal night with the Pendragons, there was a unity. Not a bunch of separate parties, but one circle, one fire, one guitar playing music into the night as people recounted the stories of both the cars and people lost to the storm. They were reminiscent stories, fond remembrances of days gone by and family members never to be seen again. No one here was a stranger to loss, not in a world like this, but because none of them were strangers, they knew how to look back at the past and treasure the moments for what they were.

While the Knights were welcome in the circle, the Arch-Magi was excluded. To his credit, the man was respectful, and simply kept to himself, despite the wall put between him and the rest.

Erec found he could only let himself drift with the music, and lose himself in the sadness for only so long before the itch to move drew him. With a bunch of quick excuses, he got up and went out for a walk, leaving the warm fire behind to find company with nature. Let Enide and the rest of the Pendragon’s do what they needed, for him, it had become too much.

The dusk was a welcome reprieve to the fire and sorrow. Erec nestled his helmet into the crook of his elbow and let the cold night air splash against his face. The landscape had changed. Dead for the most part still, sure, but the area was thicker with old scorched trees. And with a close look, the barest bits of life resurged in the cracks, clambering its way out. This trend was supposed to continue towards the coast, with more life returning to the land as Yniol promised. Out there, on the ‘gilded roads’ of the ‘Golden State,’ carved by Armageddon was beauty and danger in equal measure.

The landscape had changed. Roads and cars were enjoyable enough, but this, walking out here alone and the rocks moving under his steel boots, the scent of wet dirt, and the sight of a struggling vine wrapping itself around a dead tree trunk… This was freedom; this was life. And the silence it brought, that was peace.

The soft footsteps of someone approaching shattered that peace. Erec turned, expecting Enide or maybe Garin wanting to chat or check in on him.

But no. Boldwick stood there, hands behind his back as he stopped. He’d left his helmet back at the camp, not that his expression gave any of his thoughts away that he didn’t want it to. Those dark eyes of the Master Knight drilled into him as if they were measuring every bit of his soul. Erec straightened up and put a hand to his chest to salute the Master Knight.

“At ease, Erec,” Boldwick said.

Erec dropped his hand to his side. Something was off about the Knight, and Erec couldn’t pinpoint it. The lack of expression, the stance. There was a tension to it, a formalness that the situation didn’t warrant. Why had he followed him out here, normally if the Master Knight had orders to give or a lesson to impart, he’d called the initiates to him.

“There’s something I wanted I wished to say to you. A couple of things. First. Excellent job with that Storm. All of your cars made it through. You found an unconventional way to deal with a regenerating enemy that exceeded my expectations. I think we’re both aware what you could have done to handle that problem. The fact you managed restraint, then came up with that as an option, was impressive. I wanted to ask, why did you chose not to use that new ability of yours; with the silver fire?”

“Because it would have put me out of commission and put the rest of the Pendragons in a bad position,” Erec said, still confused. That much was obvious.

“Well, of course. But did you consider how you managed to do so and what pushed you to overcome your instincts?”

“…Yniol asked me to make sure his car got through the storm. So I did. I promised him.”

Boldwick smirked. “So, the vow to Yniol made you take responsibility for the safety of those around you. And let you consider your options instead of just sheering through that thing’s skull with the force you had inside of you.”

“Why are we talking in circles? I did what needed to be done.”

Boldwick chuckled and shook his head, “The significance of the act shows what you’re becoming, Erec. I’ve seen you struggle with that power welled up inside of you. The Strength it commands has always been on the barest tether of your restraint, and multiple times, you’ve failed to rein it in.” Erec tried to keep a scowl from showing and failed, “No need for the sour face. That’s your Talent; the power in your soul derives from desire and selfishness. It is a selfish power, the way it grants you Strength only to demand you fight and slaughter everything around you to prove that Strength is superior to all else. That is fine for a boy but not fitting for a man.”

“Are you insulting me?”

He tried to tamp it down, but the same power was starting to stir in his chest at the perceived slight. For Boldwick to start this by complimenting his behavior in the storm, then call Fury selfish, and him a boy—there wasn’t anger on Boldwick’s face. Only bemusement.

“No. All of us start that way. It’s the nature of adolescence to be driven by selfishness. To mature is to step past that selfishness and turn yourself towards serving others and shouldering responsibility. Many shy away from that; they find it too heavy to bear. But you must, especially as a Knight. To grow, as the best brothers and sisters of our Orders do, they all learn this lesson in their own way. It’s a right of passage to being a Knight worth something. They learn to embrace their responsibility and temper the desires of the self with the needs of those around them. You, more than most, struggle with this problem since it’s an inherent conflict with the very Talent you’ve been blessed with. I recognize your struggle, and I’ve seen you wrap your head around it again and again. Now it seems you’re making progress, maturing your Talent. With it, I think you’ll soon be reaching for that next stage.”

“Thank you?”

“I’m proud of you, Erec. Were it not for the Order’s rules, I’d think you close to taking your second vow and seek to elevate you to the position of Knight Errant. Hell, on power alone, you’re already there. You might get frustrated with your progress and the challenges you’ve faced and not see the progress you’ve made. I assure you we’re not blind to your efforts.” Boldwick gave a genuine smile with these words, his eyes burning bright.

Proud? Erec worked his jaw, feeling something in him welling up.

“Do you know the Oath we take when we ascend from Initiate to Knight Errant?”

“No.” He’d never thought to ask, not with all of the troubles swirling in his life since the moment he’d become a Knight. Each step up the wrung, they took on a new oath, but that had been so far from his mind.

“’I am of nature, my brothers and sisters are of nature as well. Those that are human, animal, or plant are natural, and to nature I am beholden to serve.’ To me, those words have always put me in perspective. We’re small pieces to this world, and it’s better to recognize that. We must cherish the things around us for as long as we have them and draw meaning from them, especially in a world like this, where the very fundamental law of all things being natural has been intruded on by the unnatural. As Knights of the Verdant Oak, our responsibility is to others, to this world as it was; it’s a call of service, of selflessness.”

There was a resolve to Boldwick’s tone, a certainty at the Oath he’d taken. It called to mind Erec’s first Oath.

I will give back to the world more than I take. I will sow twice what I reap.

When he’d made the vow, he hadn’t put that much thought into what it meant, what the responsibilities of being a Knight entailed. Everyone leveraged expectations on him and saddled him with different responsibilities; it’d been the Verdant Oak with that oath, then the Kingdom with his title, to the people as a Hero. With all of that, the allure of the Pack and an escape into the wasteland was beyond appealing, not to mention Enide.

But that wasn’t right. It had an appeal, but it never was quite the path he wanted to walk.

What was it to be a Knight? As a child, he remembered hearing his mother talk about her responsibilities. The idea of being an elite noble protecting the people for the Crown dominated his imagination. Her telling him stories of expeditions and seeing the outside world as he and Bedwyr nestled close to her in the fire of their home informed that. Those thoughts of shining armor, weapons, and might… Those were a young boy’s dreams and didn’t match her stories’ gravity. Didn’t match the reality of what he saw in Dame Morgana, Dame Juliana, and Sir Boldwick.

Each Knight took their oaths and made their interpretations, then found a way to shoulder that responsibility.

“The choices you face are only going to grow tougher. I knew your mother when I was younger. She was a senior Knight. From what I remember, she was a very driven woman filled with conviction. I see a lot of her in you, like it or not, and I can’t imagine she’d choose to go against the Kingdom without a good reason. Maybe you’ve come to this conclusion yourself after seeing Vega. Life outside our walls is varied; the situations people find themselves in radically differ from what you and I saw behind the Iron Curtain. Just as the people outside our walls can live lives we scarcely imagine, the experiences we can run into as Knights of the Verdent Oak can be just as varied. Much more than the rest of the Kingdom is exposed to. Maybe, though, that will change soon.”

Boldwick set a hand on Erec’s shoulder, the gesture hefty as his gauntlet rested on the pauldrons.

He kept his face straight, not wanting to show emotion. It was a failure, but Boldwick only gave him a nod, leaving him to finish his walk alone.