Lines Crossed - Volume 1 Chapter 31 31

I sat at the table nervously wondering why I had let myself get pulled into this when so many people were staring.

Mark smiled. Pretending like I wasn’t completely underdressed for the occasion. I tugged on my collar self consciously.

Then dropped my hands to my lap to clutch at my dress nervously.

“Ah, don’t be nervous, it’s fine, I know a guy or two who works here, no one will say anything since you are with me.” Mark assured his voice playful, grinning ear to ear.

I thought uncomfortably, ‘Yeah, that doesn’t mean that they won’t stare.’

“So, dinner, I started” Just then a man in a chef’s outfit walked up trays in hand and began setting stuff down. I looked at the food with interest, then back up at Mark confused.

“Ah,” the man in the chef’s jacket grinned.

“I saw Mark and cooked up some of his favorites, but then I saw you sit down so I am getting my second chair to cook up some of MY favorites.” He stated cheerily.

“Want to hear a secret?” He leaned forward, and I felt myself smiling, the tension I had felt about coming here starting to dissipate.

“Mark has great taste, but mine is better.” He whispered loud enough for Mark to hear, and I giggled realizing I had calmed down completely my nerves settled.

“Stop flirting at work I don’t pay you to flirt Chulsoo,” Chulsoo turned, threw me a wink, then reached down into Mark’s plate and grabbed a potato and popped it into his mouth.

“Ah, , yup, not enough seasoning, needs more flavor to be exciting to the palate, right?” He turned to me a playful grin from ear to ear that reminded me of a golden retriever spread across his face.

“Just send back a spoon rolled up in a napkin if this guy starts to bore you and I’ll come save you.”

I laughed, and his eyes twinkled with glee as he kept glancing at Mark to gauge his reactions.

“Bye,” he stated in full English and gave off a flourish of his hand before turning and heading back towards the kitchen.

“Bye.” I called back, chuckling.

I turned back to the plate and grabbed a bite of steak up with my fork I was about to lift it to my mouth when I noticed Mark staring.

I glanced back up feeling suddenly fairly awkward again.

“You are really pretty when you smile. You should do it more.” He smiled back at me sweetly. I felt my heart pang.

And all the awkwardness I felt just sorta melted away. ‘His heart was in the right place despite his rather dense way of going about things.’ The bite of steak, pulled from the fork easily, the lean juices gliding its tender meat from the fork. My teeth sunk into it with a satisfying ooze of warm that burst like spices rolling in waves through me.

‘Mark had chased me down so hard for a single meal, no matter how much I told him his kindness was unnecessary. Why? What made him act that way? The more I thought about it the more it made sense, though, he wasn’t really doing it out of this general sense of you helped me I help you. It was more of like I owe you my life and I can never repay the debt I feel from it.’ I figured.

Mark always lived in a world where what he wanted came when he asked. Everything he wanted to happen happened, not that he never struggled or never tasted what working hard at something felt like. He just was lucky to grow up where he always had the resources at hand to accomplish what he wanted done as soon as it could get done. So having something that could never be repaid was so new and foreign to him that it seemed he floundered at the new feeling.’

“Thanks for saving my life.” Mark interrupted my thoughts.

I paused the fork halting against my lips, the second bite of steak uneaten. I put it down and sat straight.

“You have already thanked me so many times. You don’t need to thank me anymore.” I looked at the food feeling guilty.

“Even this is too much” He looked at me askance.

“What I mean is, I don’t know anyone who would just let someone die. If they could stop it, they just would Stop it right? So what I did wasn’t heroic, or a good deed, it was the very least thing I could do.” I sighed wondering if he would understand what I was hinting at.

He nodded. I watched him carefully; I knew he understood, but I just wasn’t sure I was getting through his upraising.

‘Don’t be grateful I did what anyone else would do because that’s instinct not desire. But could he understand that, or was he just wearing rose-colored glasses?’

“Yeah, I suppose you are right, but maybe not Not everyone would have tried, not everyone would have hurt themselves doing it. There were so many points when you could have stopped and said this is too hard. You could have made excuses, you probably had hundreds of them you could have used.”

“I have done enough, anything is better than how he was before So many you could have used. In those moments anyone could have thought those thoughts and it would have been more humane to do so, normal too. Yet, you didn’t. When the world gave you a million reasons to give up, you stayed.”

“Moments when you could have left me and go for help, you could have decided after that whatever happened was out of your hands. Many people would do the bare minimum and call it their best. As long as it didn’t cause any real inconvenience.”

I watched him carefully, hoping he didn’t see how enthralled and moved by his hidden pain I actually was. The feelings filled his eyes with a deep anger that he attempted to hide inside himself along with that burning hollow sadness.

I looked down at my plate and fork before pushing the meat on the end around wasting time.

That hurt of rejection I knew, throbbed its weight a heavy echo inside my own painful memories.

“I couldn’t watch more people die again” I breathed.

“You said that before You seem like a good person, the person I could see saving lives every day. Did a patient of yours die? Is that why you are no longer a nurse? That night, you said you used to be a nurse. Used to, as in you are not anymore. Is that why? Did you stop after they passed away?”

I looked up at him, my face crumpling with a myriad of emotions. “Why do you want to know? Why does it matter?”

‘Why can’t you just leave me alone. Why do you have to make me feel even more guilty for trying to take your life?’

‘I just wanted to die.’

‘Okay?’

‘I just wanted to end the pain to see the only person in my life I ever truly felt close to again.’

“I just thought I, well, I wanted to get to know the person who saved me. I just wanted to show how thankful I was.” He mumbled he sensed my growing frustration.

“I am sorry if I offended you by asking personal questions I just wanted to get to” I stood up, dropping my fork to the plate.

“Don’t!” I snapped.

“Huh?” he looked at me confused.

“Don’t get to know me. You’re right, I saved your life, so if you want to keep it you should stay away from me.” I glared at him and put my emotions into every word I was about to say.

“Because if you get close to me, you will only end up” I paused and looked outside as raindrops, big fat ones, pelted against the window of the restaurant.

“Dead.” I said vehemently.

He looked at me confused and I turned and walked away and out of the restaurant.

I didn’t want him to misunderstand and assume I was some sort of murderer who was planning his murder around every corner I mean I had once.. But that was before I knew that this

‘Dimension? Place? World? Reality?’ Inside my computer existed.

‘Would it be so bad if he did? So what? I am probably just going to disappear from his life as quickly as I appeared. What does it matter what he thinks?’

Besides, he absolutely needed to know that us being near each other was a bad idea.

‘I’m sorry I am not from your world. I can’t afford to get to know anyone here, not while I need to find a way back.’

I walked out of the restaurant, leaving a very confused Mark behind me.