Little Girl’s Wild Side - Chapter 50

Sindhu at last came out of her trance when she felt a cold towel wipe her face. Then when she saw Gautham’s scared expression and heard his concerned voice, she felt so grateful that she did not die that day. The despair she felt at the very last moment before losing consciousness was something she did know how to describe. What if this was all a dream and she was still stuck there all alone on the ditch???- Just thinking about it terrified her. She wanted to reassure herself that she was actually alive and this was all real. She wanted to feel alive. And she did it the only way she knew how. She scrambled towards him and crashed her lips on him clumsily. Her hands were shaking as she fumbled with his shirt buttons. She was very desperate to feel him against her. She was desperate to feel his hands on her that made her into a withering mess.

Gautham did not know what was wrong but he could decipher that she was not exactly emotionally stable at the moment. He saw that she needed comfort. And that was exactly what he gave her. He held her face within his hands and crashed his lips against hers. He kissed her very deeply and very thoroughly. There was no hunger or rush. It was completely comforting and loving. He ravished her so slowly and so thoroughly that she felt like she was floating in clouds. That night he was painstakingly gentle when he made love to her. All Sindhu could do was arch, whimper and moan in pleasure while Gautham thoroughly worshiped her with his hands and lips. And with each touch and with each kiss, she could feel a part of her heal. She forgot everything else. All she could feel were his hands against her skin and the torturous euphoria they brought her.

Their naked bodies were cuddled against each other and both of them were trying to bring their own breathing under control. That is when Sindhu was able to think straight at last. Once their breathing was back to normal Gautham kissed her on the side of her head and asked in the softest voice he could muster at that moment, “Are you okay now??”

Sindhu nodded her head while her hands were playing with his fingers.

“You want to tell me what was wrong??” Gautham asked once again.

“I remembered.” Sindhu replied.

“I’m sorry.” Gautham said peppering her forehead with one more kiss.

Sindhu shook her head and said, “It wasn’t so bad. I actually kicked their asses pretty well you know. I am pretty sure one of them won’t be making any babies for a very long time.” A proud grin itched on her face.

“That’s my girl.” Gautham said pride swelling from all over his being. He leaned down and gave her a kiss on top of her crown all over again.

“Was it scary??” Gautham asked.

“Back then I had this whole baggage of emptiness and regret that I did not really have time to be scared. But that one moment was terrifying when I actually thought I was dead. That one moment was the most ironic moment in my life. I mean I lost count of the number of times I had desperately wished I were dead. But when death came knocking at last, I actually got scared. But I am actually glad I did not die back then.” Sindhu finished with a slight smile.

Gautham tightened his arms around her and said, “Yea, me too. And you are strictly not allowed to die… ever.” Gautham ordered her with a very serious expression.

Sindhu chuckled slightly but did not say anything.

“Why are you not answering??” Gautham asked with a frown that brought his eyebrows together.

“How can I not die forever Gautham??? That is not even possible.” Sindhu asked back.

“I don’t know all that. You can’t die, that is all. I do not want any discussion on this matter.” Gautham said sternly in an overbearing voice that is usually used by fathers to scold their children.

Sindhu shook her head at his illogical childishness but then said, “Okay if it makes you feel better. I promise I won’t die ever.”

Gautham signed in relief. But then after a while he spoke, “Please don’t die on me Sindhu. Just the thought terrifies me beyond reason. I don’t want to live without you here. So you can’t die okay.” He said in a pleading voice.

Sindhu did not know how to get rid of his illogical fear but she was no good at giving false hope. So she took his hand in hers and patiently explained “Gautham people die, you can’t really stop that. You will miss them. You will hurt. But after that you should move on. It’s a fact that you are breathing and they are not and you won’t be able to change that fact no matter how much you try.”

“I don’t care about all that. I won’t move on and that’s final. So you just have to be here with me all the time. It is as simple as that. Do you understand.” Gautham said once again like a child throwing tantrum.

Sindhu shook her head and gave in to him at last and stopped talking logic. Both of them stayed quiet. Sindhu could hear his stead heartbeat. She slowly drifted to sleep to the sound of his steady heartbeat.

For Gautham, one sentence that Sindhu said itched to his head and did not let him sleep. ‘I lost count of the number of times I had desperately wished I were dead’. It scared him and haunted him in ways he couldn’t really comprehend.

If it was only possible, he wanted to go back in time and erase all her loneliness and despair so that she would never ever think of such a thing at such a young age. But since it was not possible, he vowed to himself that he would never put her in a position where such a thought comes back to her.