Little Girl’s Wild Side - Chapter 60

So bored he suddenly asked, “What would you do if someone showed you my pictures like that with another woman?? Will you hate me??” His voice was actually casual. He knew that was never going to happen ever. He was just trying to distract her… maybe even irritate her a little. He was expecting her to say something along the line of she will castrate him or screw him over.

But Sindhu gave it a serious thought, “Not exactly. First of all, I won’t really trust it until I hear it from you personally. I mean it could be fake.” Her tone was pretty serious actually.

“So if I say that they were fake, you will believe me just like that??” Gautham asked once again.

“Yes.” Sindhu replied instantly without hesitation.

From her expression, he knew she was not giving him lip service but was being sincere. That just made him wanted to know more. He was elated by the trust she had in him but then little did he know the elation is going to be short lived.

“What if I said they were actually real???” Gautham asked once again thinking she would kick him and make a fit.

Sindhu paused and looked up at him. She then looked him straight in his eyes and said, “I would be very disappointed that you did not tell me before…”

“That is all??? No crazy bitching or beating or brawling over the betrayal ah???” Gautham asked surprised.

“No… You would feel betrayed only if you had not expected it to happen or if you had a fairy tale dream of forever. Thankfully I don’t fall into either of the categories.” Sindhu said shrugging her shoulders.

Gautham was baffled by her answer, “So you don’t trust me yet then???” he asked disappointed.

Seeing his expression she knew Gautham had got her wrong and maybe somewhere he was even hurt. So she sat up straight turning her back to the television. She faced him and explained.

“I trust you Gautham. I know you and I know what you would or wouldn’t do. But I won’t ever be able to trust the future. Life has ways of making you do things you swore you could never ever do in your life. Since I have experienced it personally, I will never ever be able to shake this fact. Like I said I do not believe in promises. Maybe one day I will, like you said, but that day had not come yet.”

“That doesn’t mean my trust in you is fragile. I completely trust in your personality. I know you would never do anything intentionally to hurt me. I know you should have had your reasons if you ever end up doing it to me. That is why I won’t feel betrayed.” Sindhu said firmly.

Her words were like a bitter pill to swallow but still deep down Gautham knew they were actually true. And because he understood that, he did not want to refute it in a feeble attempt to satisfy his own heart.

“So you don’t believe we will be able to stay together forever???” Gautham asked. His voice was gloomy. He really did not want to ask her this question because he knew she is going to be brutally honest once again but his mouth still went ahead and asked before he could stop himself. For once he really wished she would say some sugary words even if they were not from her heart but of course, it was just his wishful thinking.

“No… I don’t actually. I believed in it once, I believed in a friendship that could last forever and it broke me. So I don’t even think I am capable of doing that now.” Sindhu said bluntly.

If Gautham’s expression was bad before, it turned to absolute worst when he heard her.

“Why are you so practical and logical???” Gautham asked slightly irritated, exasperated and completely defeated. It wasn’t really a question. He was actually just venting but once again Sindhu gave him a serious reply.

“Because love can be blind but trust is not.” Sindhu answered once again bluntly.

“So you don’t love me???” Gautham asked frowning.

“I do… but I trust you more than I love you. And I know it’s the opposite for you. Say the same thing happens to you. Some people showed you compromising photos of me. You might not believe it. But you will still be hurt and agitated. You will be anxious I might leave you. So you won’t really even dare to confront. And even if you do and I say that they are real, you will still desperately try to hold on to me in spite of how much I have hurt you or betrayed you.” Sindhu paused looking up at him gauging his reaction.

Gautham had his head hung low because he knew she hit a bullseyes. And oddly enough he knew what was coming.

Sindhu let out a sigh and continued, “Sadly enough, I won’t be able to be with you if the tables were turned. And you know that too. We are different people Gautham. For you love is purely based on emotions but for me, my love is based on understanding you and your whole being. That is why I know that you love me more than you trust me. I respect and truly cherish that but…”

She did not have to finish the sentence. He perfectly understood what she was going to say.

‘But she won’t be able to reciprocate the same…’

Gautham did not really know how he was supposed to react to any of it. A part of him was sullen that not only did she not make sense but also broke his small little bubble that believed he would be with her forever. But there was another part that was happy that she understood him so much. He was baffled as to how much she actually understood the dynamics of their relationship and how much though she put into them.

She was such a bittersweet little thing… he knew that and he loved her for it even at that moment. But his heart really ached that she did not get to be an innocent little girl believing in fairytales.

He scooped her over on to his laps and hugged her closer to himself. He did not know whether he was comforting her or himself. He just desperately wanted to feel her against him to make sure she was at the very least here with him at this moment even if his little bubble of forever was shattered.

“I’m sorry…” Sindhu mumbled in his embrace. She felt guilty seeing his reaction somehow… he seemed hurt or scared even.

“It’s okay. You are here with me now… That’s all that matters. I will just have to make sure to keep you here tomorrow, the after and all the nexts. And I will do that. I am not letting you get away from me that easily.” Gautham said firmly.

“I don’t want to.” Sindhu said holding on to him tightly.

“That is all I need from you.” Gautham said softly kissing her on the neck.

“You don’t have to worry… I am not letting you go without a fight either. And you know how hard and dirty I can fight. So rest assured, you can forget about cheating on me. I won’t let you.” Sindhu said with a proud smirk.

“I wouldn’t dare even if I had horns grow over my head.” Gautham said at last with a slight smile.