Love Amidst The Chaos - -7 Chapter Eleven

+++ Yna +++

“How dare he tell me who I should spend time with?”

“I’m sorry to say this but he has a point,” Amor whispered.

Really Amor, when I need you to choose between me and my uncle, you choose him? So much for always being there for the princess.

“Amor I know you are upset about your family and need someone to blame but shouldn’t you blame his father not him. I know this must be hard for you but please give him a chance.”

“I’ll try, your highness .”

“So what will you teach me first?”

“Well I was thinking since your emotions can control nature, we should focus on controlling your emotions.”

“Good idea.”

“Now this is something personal so you won’t need much help from me. I want you to try and suppress your emotions. For example, instead of losing your temper or being upset; you smile, relax, keep calm and stay happy. Controlling your emotions will not only help with being a natural but with being a royal. That means for the a whole week you have to stay happy, you are to suppress every other emotions.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No I am not, and if you are successful you would do it for another week but this time people will be provoking your anger or trying to make you sad.”

“And if I am not successful?”

“You will keep doing that until you are.”

“So what you are saying is the longer it takes me to complete this task successfully the longer I will stay emotionless.”

“Yeah, but you are not completely emotionless, you are happy. It will be sunny all week with little chance of rain so you are not to change that and if does rain and it isn’t your fault, you are expected to make yourself so happy the rain stops and it’s sunny again.”

That’s is impossible.

“In that situation, I would advise you to spend time with someone who makes you really happy.”

Nyx and grandma.

“Can I start tomorrow? I need time to prepare to be emotionless.”

“Of course-”

“Just call me Yna. I need to go speak to Luisa, I think she’s upset.”

***

“Lui are you alright?”

“Can’t you knock and didn’t I tell you to stop calling me ‘loo wee’?”

“Sorry, Luisa are you ok?”

“Just get out,” she squealed with distress.

“Luisa why are you upset, did your mum say anything else?”

“Can’t you just leave me alone? It will make my life so much better,” Luisa screamed which should have been my cue to leave. However, I wasn’t going to leave her feeling like this.

“What do you mean?” I asked and placed my arm around her.

“It’s all your fault. Everything, ” she said as she pushed my arm away.

“How is-”

“Because of you, we can’t live the way we want, can’t be with the people we want, can’t meet new people or go out and explore. Ara died because of you and your messed up life, my mum hates me because of your messed up life, my dad doesn’t care about anything but you being safe and my life would have been so much better without you in it. I would have a wonderful life with friends and family and my sister would be alive. I would have a phone, à boyfriend. ”

“I should have probably left when you said so,” I said trying to break the ice.

“You should have.”

“I’ll just go then,” I informed her while shutting the door.”

Well that hurts.

I was a mess after leaving the room.I never knew she felt that way. I mean, I know she’s right. She’s a teenager and she needs to explore the world and meet new people and her life isn’t what you would call a great life but I never knew she hated me for it. Actually, I am pretty sure she didn’t before. She might have thought of this frequently but she didn’t hate me. I think. Something has definitely changed but I couldn’t quite put my finger round it.

The pain gushed through my blood and spread across body. The heat rised slowly as if it was trying to suffocate me. Leaving me out of breath.

I couldn’t believe she felt that way. I never noticed how much she blamed me for everything. She was always so nice. Not really focusing on where I was going, I bumped I thought was the wall. Until I realised walls don’t have legs or speak.

“Do you always daydream?” the wall muttered.

“Oh Nyx, I didn’t see you there.”

“Of course, if you did you wouldn’t have tried to walk through me.”

“Well sorry and bye.”

“Are you actually going to listen to your uncle and avoid me?” he asked.

“Nyx, I really don’t have time to talk right now. I have a lot of things on my mind,” I replied.

“Like what? Am I part of it?”

“Nyx, just leave me alone, I already said I can’t talk at the moment,” I snapped.

“I know you are are rethinking everything, being friends with me, what happened outside. I am so sorry for killing your cousin and planning to kill you but like I said I hated you before I met. I am so sorry for forcing myself on you…” He went on and on but everything fell before reaching my ears. My heart heard what it needed to trigger the tears everything else was pretty much useless. So much for staying happy for a whole week.

“Are … you …crying? I mean … why are you … crying?” Nyx stammered. I did the only thing I could think of. Run.

One thing I now love about me is how the weather reflects my emotions. A bright colourful day would have just made me feel worse. The rain poured and poured until I wasn’t sure if I was actually crying anymore or if it was the rain strolling down my face.

“Yna, I am…”

“I always thought I knew how everyone was like but I couldn’t be more wrong. I guess I just saw what I wanted to see. I didn’t realise everyone hated me for who I was and how blooming messed up my life is, even though I had no choice how my life was going to be. Even though fate already dictated what I will have to go through,” I spilled, not quite sure why.

“Yna nobody hates you or blames you for anything.”

“Yes they do, you, Luisa, … probably my aunt, actually I’m fine with how she feels, the feeling is mutual.”

“Yna, I don’t hate you, I did but then I met you and realised we were both drawn into this fight. We didn’t really have a choice and it’s not our fault. Also, your aunt doesn’t hate you and if she does its because of your attitude towards her. She understands its not your fault. And Luisa, well she is too nice to hate you,” he explained.

“That was what I thought until earlier. She hates me Nyx, she said it herself.”

“She is probably just upset, I am sure she didn’t mean it. I have not known her for long but I am sure she will apologise tomorrow,” he justified and before I even thought about it, I wrapped my hands around him and placed my head on his chest.

“Please don’t cry again, it affects everyone. It affects me,” he said then he took his hands off my waist and gently brought my face to his. Every moment left burned in my heart. Each fleeting moment left me breathless. Left me aching for more. I wrapped my hands round his neck and brought his face closer to mine. I felt the my worries dissipate as he pulled my body closer to his and slipped his tongue in my mouth. I traced my hands to his hair and buried them in his tousled curls. I felt his warm fingers slide under my jumper. My brain was into a frenzy.

Was he trying to initiate sex? Did he want it? Without contemplating what the consequences would be, I broke off the kiss and brought us back to reality.

“Sorry, I’m not ready, ” I whispered dreading what might come next.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t trying… I was so caught up… I didn’t mean to put you under pressure,” she stammered as he blushed fiercely. I pulled him into arms and buried my flushed face in his neck.

“It’s late, we should go inside,” he whispered, his hot breath sent shivers round my body. I pulled away, stood up and turned to leave but I was pulled back into his arms as he planted a soft kiss on my lips.

“Goodnight,” he whispered before he placed me down and walked towards the house leaving me on the ground unable to move.

“Are you coming or what?”