Love Doesn’t Matter - Chapter 46 – Someone I’ve Never Had

“Can I tell you something even stranger? On one hand, I enjoyed it. Every time I saw you standing there alone, I was strangely pleased. It was like you were waiting for me.”

Thud!

The carriage stopped. Emilia’s heart also stopped for a moment.

“Abandon me in front of everyone, if you want. If you can relieve your anger a bit by doing that. But I can’t really leave you.”

His strange words hit Emilia’s heart terribly.

“Do you know why?”

Hadius took out the ring and raised it.

“Because I’ve never had you.”

The man’s hand reached out and pulled Emilia’s hand, which had been sloppily hanging, towards him.

“How can I leave someone I’ve never had?”

Overwhelmed by his intense gaze, Emilia couldn’t even think of pulling her arm out. Her fingers were spread apart, and the ring was inserted.

“It’s going to fit now.”

As he said, every inch fitted perfectly. As if the last pieces of the puzzle were put together, the fragments of memories that had been shattered over the years began to find their place one by one.

At that time too, he put the ring on her while facing her, like now.
The size was wrong, and the ring was loose.

As they were cold during the entire engagement ceremony, she thought they just hated each other.

But the moment their eyes met.
The moment they found a turbulent pulse, a faint smile, and a faint excitement beyond their cold faces.
The young man and woman fell into a turmoil.

What if it’s a delusion?

They smiled.
They showed each other a smile they had never shown anyone.
They were sincere at that moment. Hadius, and Emilia, too.

The carriage door swung open.

“The weather is very nice, Young Master, Young Lady. Would you like to get off?”

The coachman greeted them energetically, instantly scattering the afterimages of the faintly blooming memories.
As if nothing had happened, Hadius said, “Good work, Roan.”, and smiled softly.

But Emilia couldn’t move.
She couldn’t believe any of it.
A shocking confession, a ring, that man casually greeting the coachman.

“Shall we go?”

Hadius naturally grabbed her hand and Emilia was dragged to the mansion without a chance to deal with the shock.

The picturesque castle that stretched out on top of the majestic and imposing cliff was much more beautiful to see from outside the carriage, but she couldn’t see anything.

Emilia crossed the wide lawn as if she were a marionette doll. The footman guarding the front door recognized them and greeted them politely.

“The eldest son of the Meyer family, Hadius Meyer and Miss Emilia Bern have arrived.”

The noisy hall suddenly became quiet.

Beneath the dazzling chandelier, a hallway decorated with red roses opened like a sea route and attracted attention.

Shayla Cavendish, Harriet Chastale, Lucinda Tilber, Martin Erwin…
Those who openly called her a mouse, those who laughed at her, bystanders, and other unfamiliar faces.

Even as she crossed the center, Emilia didn’t feel anything.
Her thoughts were clogged up. The ring on her hand took away all her ‘feeling’.

“Welcome! It is such an honor to have you here.”

Odelia Lüen smiled brightly and greeted Hadius. The next moment, when she looked at Emilia.

“Oh my God, Miss Bern!”

The admiration engraved on her face, as well as the sudden reverence, confused Emilia.

“You are really beautiful. I’ll believe you even if you tell me you’re the incarnation of Aphrodite. Don’t you think, Josephine, Pierre?”

Odelia turned to her daughter and son behind her, and they too looked in admiration.

“I have heard a lot about you from my Mother, Miss Bern. Now that I’m seeing you in person, I feel like I’m out of breath.”
“I must request a dance in advance. Of course, it seems like the person next to you will never allow it.”

Seeing them overreacting, Emilia realized.
From the moment she appeared arm in arm with Hadius Meyer, Emilia Bern is no longer a mouse hiding in the world of nobility. She is the legitimate fiancée of the Meyer family.

“You flatter me. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Emilia answered lifelessly, as she had learned in her etiquette class.

This reaction was not unexpected. People suddenly changed and treated her like a real noble lady, and they thought Emilia would enjoy it.
But when it comes down to it, she didn’t enjoy it at all. She shouldn’t have had the childish thought of wanting to give him a blow in front of everyone. Vanity was returning like a boomerang.

Young men and women flocked to the Meyer’s heir as if they had made a promise.
Hello, it is an honor to meet you, nice to meet you, thank you for giving me the honor of being with you…
The endless procession of greetings, like a domino, made Emilia even more unable to come to her senses. On the other hand, Hadius was too calm and unaffected.

He greeted everyone with an adequate smile and polite manner, like he did at the dinner party.
The difference is that his fiancée, who was always standing at a distant spot, is right next to him. No one thought it was strange or expressed dissatisfaction with it.

“Hello, Miss Bern.”
“You look so beautiful today.”

They greeted Hadius and then approached Emilia with a smile. Emilia felt disillusioned because they never pretended to know her or greeted her at the Cavendish mansion.

“The dress suits you really well. Where did you get it?”
“… At Vinette’s shop.”

No fool laughed at her for it being the cheapest boutique on Dill Street. As if everyone had promised, they treated the Meyer’s fiancée while wearing a respectful mask.

It was as if she was standing on a theater stage. Or a dream.
From the moment Hadius put the ring on her, everything felt unrealistic.

“Miss Bern is already pretty, no matter what she wears.”

Finally, Shayla Cavendish spoke up.

“How have you been? It’s really refreshing to see you here. But to be honest, calling you Miss Bern is a bit awkward.”

Discomfort strangled her.
Maybe it’s better to do as he says. If she had left Hadius to take care of the Cavendish family, Shayla wouldn’t have been so sarcastic.

The moment she thought of that, Emilia wanted to take off her pretentious mask.

“Do as you feel comfortable, Young Lady. You can call me a mouse as usual.”

Shayla’s face hardened. Some of the people around them also covered their mouths in surprise.

“Then.”

Like that, Emilia brushed past Shayla. After that, no one could speak rashly to Emilia.
The fact that she had become a person who could not be treated carelessly gave her a twisted pleasure.

Hadius led her down a secluded staircase.

“I can see why you were so tolerant towards the Cavendish. They’re no match for you.”

He took two glasses of champagne from a servant and handed one of them to Emilia.

“Just remember one thing. This is for you. Whether you enjoy the ball or ruin it, it’s up to you. Do what you want. No one can touch you as long as I’m behind you. Do you know how fun it is?”

Hadius smirked lightly as if he were very proud.

Unable to control her hopelessly trembling heart, Emilia drank the alcohol at once. Suddenly, anger welled up. It was a wave of irrational anger with no context or logic.

“Can I really do as I please?”

Hadius raised the glass in a positive way.

“What if I throw this ring away? Can I do that in front of everyone?”
“That would be fun too. You said so before. That you wanted to abandon me.”
“Don’t ignore it. I may really throw it away.”
“As you please.”

Putting the empty glass down somewhere, he wiped away his smile and slowly tensed up his body, which he had been leaning on.

“Do whatever you want, Emilia. It doesn’t matter now.”

It wasn’t Emilia’s words, saying she would throw it away, that changed the man’s eyes. What made Hadius be on edge was beyond that pillar.

“It’s that guy, isn’t it?”

Nathan Malvin.
Hadius recognized him at a glance.

Feeling his gaze, Nathan also turned his head towards them.

Embarrassed, Emilia’s face turned bright red.
In Hadius’s head, Emilia and Nathan had a relationship of some sort; and whether it was true or not, she felt suffocated for some reason.

“Don’t worry, I won’t cause you trouble.”

Hadius whispered softly and strode towards Nathan. Contrary to the smile on his face, in his head,

‘He wrapped his arms around her, like a baby, and sided with her.’
‘They’re betting on when she will become his lover.’

There were only words like that.

“Greetings. I am Hadius Meyer.”
“It is an honor to meet you, I am Nathan Malvin.”
“I once saw your father, Sir Elowie Malvin. He came to give his congratulations at the anniversary ceremony of Elfort a year ago.”
“Ah, is that so?”
“He had great pride in his eldest son, and seeing you in person like this, I can see why.”
“I don’t know what to do with myself when I hear such praise from someone who will be graduating with the best grades.”

Formal greetings were exchanged back and forth. It was a relief for her, who was worried that Hadius would grab Nathan by the neck.

After shaking hands, Nathan’s eyes immediately turned to look at Emilia.

“How have you been?”

Emilia had to swallow dry in order to answer.

“Thanks to your concern, I have been doing well.”
“You look really good today. Having your hair like that really suits you.”
“Thank you. The Young Master also looks wonderful.”

Emilia chose only safe answers, and so did Nathan.

“Are you going to keep working with Haspel?”
“What? Ah…”

Emilia glanced at Hadius and answered, “I think so.”, nodding.

“Do you know that that timid butler is still begging me? To keep what happened that day a secret.”
“Ah… Is that so?”
“So, I told him. That I want him to treat you as the official ledger manager. I told him that if he does that, I will keep it a secret.”

She felt like her face was going to turn red at the unexpected talk. Her trembling eyes flowed to Hadius again.

Naturally, she thought he would be staring at her with suspicious eyes. But the only thing that could be found on her fiancé’s face was a warm smile.

Her body, which had been so tense, began to relax gradually.
Nathan was now very innocent, and Emilia too. There was no bizarre romance, no matter how much he looked for it.

Emilia straightened her chin.

“You didn’t have to worry about it that much, but thank you anyway.”
“If Haspel behaves stingily again, come to me anytime. My family is always open to talented people.”
“Thank you for your words.”

Nathan, who was smiling happily, suddenly turned to Hadius.

“If it’s fine by you, can I give this as a present to Miss Bern?”

Startled eyes turned to the object Nathan was holding. It was a book.

The ‘Principles of Accounting’…
As soon as she saw the title, she felt strange. She was grateful yet embarrassed, proud yet shy.

“As you may know, Miss Bern is very interested in math and accounting. It is an expression of pure expectation towards a talented person, so I hope you will allow it.”

How will that man react?
Emilia was nervous.

“Can I tell you something even stranger? On one hand, I enjoyed it. Every time I saw you standing there alone, I was strangely pleased. It was like you were waiting for me.”

Thud!

The carriage stopped. Emilia’s heart also stopped for a moment.

“Abandon me in front of everyone, if you want. If you can relieve your anger a bit by doing that. But I can’t really leave you.”

His strange words hit Emilia’s heart terribly.

“Do you know why?”

Hadius took out the ring and raised it.

“Because I’ve never had you.”

The man’s hand reached out and pulled Emilia’s hand, which had been sloppily hanging, towards him.

“How can I leave someone I’ve never had?”

Overwhelmed by his intense gaze, Emilia couldn’t even think of pulling her arm out. Her fingers were spread apart, and the ring was inserted.

“It’s going to fit now.”

As he said, every inch fitted perfectly. As if the last pieces of the puzzle were put together, the fragments of memories that had been shattered over the years began to find their place one by one.

At that time too, he put the ring on her while facing her, like now.
The size was wrong, and the ring was loose.

As they were cold during the entire engagement ceremony, she thought they just hated each other.

But the moment their eyes met.
The moment they found a turbulent pulse, a faint smile, and a faint excitement beyond their cold faces.
The young man and woman fell into a turmoil.

What if it’s a delusion?

They smiled.
They showed each other a smile they had never shown anyone.
They were sincere at that moment. Hadius, and Emilia, too.

The carriage door swung open.

“The weather is very nice, Young Master, Young Lady. Would you like to get off?”

The coachman greeted them energetically, instantly scattering the afterimages of the faintly blooming memories.
As if nothing had happened, Hadius said, “Good work, Roan.”, and smiled softly.

But Emilia couldn’t move.
She couldn’t believe any of it.
A shocking confession, a ring, that man casually greeting the coachman.

“Shall we go?”

Hadius naturally grabbed her hand and Emilia was dragged to the mansion without a chance to deal with the shock.

The picturesque castle that stretched out on top of the majestic and imposing cliff was much more beautiful to see from outside the carriage, but she couldn’t see anything.

Emilia crossed the wide lawn as if she were a marionette doll. The footman guarding the front door recognized them and greeted them politely.

“The eldest son of the Meyer family, Hadius Meyer and Miss Emilia Bern have arrived.”

The noisy hall suddenly became quiet.

Beneath the dazzling chandelier, a hallway decorated with red roses opened like a sea route and attracted attention.

Shayla Cavendish, Harriet Chastale, Lucinda Tilber, Martin Erwin…
Those who openly called her a mouse, those who laughed at her, bystanders, and other unfamiliar faces.

Even as she crossed the center, Emilia didn’t feel anything.
Her thoughts were clogged up. The ring on her hand took away all her ‘feeling’.

“Welcome! It is such an honor to have you here.”

Odelia Lüen smiled brightly and greeted Hadius. The next moment, when she looked at Emilia.

“Oh my God, Miss Bern!”

The admiration engraved on her face, as well as the sudden reverence, confused Emilia.

“You are really beautiful. I’ll believe you even if you tell me you’re the incarnation of Aphrodite. Don’t you think, Josephine, Pierre?”

Odelia turned to her daughter and son behind her, and they too looked in admiration.

“I have heard a lot about you from my Mother, Miss Bern. Now that I’m seeing you in person, I feel like I’m out of breath.”
“I must request a dance in advance. Of course, it seems like the person next to you will never allow it.”

Seeing them overreacting, Emilia realized.
From the moment she appeared arm in arm with Hadius Meyer, Emilia Bern is no longer a mouse hiding in the world of nobility. She is the legitimate fiancée of the Meyer family.

“You flatter me. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Emilia answered lifelessly, as she had learned in her etiquette class.

This reaction was not unexpected. People suddenly changed and treated her like a real noble lady, and they thought Emilia would enjoy it.
But when it comes down to it, she didn’t enjoy it at all. She shouldn’t have had the childish thought of wanting to give him a blow in front of everyone. Vanity was returning like a boomerang.

Young men and women flocked to the Meyer’s heir as if they had made a promise.
Hello, it is an honor to meet you, nice to meet you, thank you for giving me the honor of being with you…
The endless procession of greetings, like a domino, made Emilia even more unable to come to her senses. On the other hand, Hadius was too calm and unaffected.

He greeted everyone with an adequate smile and polite manner, like he did at the dinner party.
The difference is that his fiancée, who was always standing at a distant spot, is right next to him. No one thought it was strange or expressed dissatisfaction with it.

“Hello, Miss Bern.”
“You look so beautiful today.”

They greeted Hadius and then approached Emilia with a smile. Emilia felt disillusioned because they never pretended to know her or greeted her at the Cavendish mansion.

“The dress suits you really well. Where did you get it?”
“… At Vinette’s shop.”

No fool laughed at her for it being the cheapest boutique on Dill Street. As if everyone had promised, they treated the Meyer’s fiancée while wearing a respectful mask.

It was as if she was standing on a theater stage. Or a dream.
From the moment Hadius put the ring on her, everything felt unrealistic.

“Miss Bern is already pretty, no matter what she wears.”

Finally, Shayla Cavendish spoke up.

“How have you been? It’s really refreshing to see you here. But to be honest, calling you Miss Bern is a bit awkward.”

Discomfort strangled her.
Maybe it’s better to do as he says. If she had left Hadius to take care of the Cavendish family, Shayla wouldn’t have been so sarcastic.

The moment she thought of that, Emilia wanted to take off her pretentious mask.

“Do as you feel comfortable, Young Lady. You can call me a mouse as usual.”

Shayla’s face hardened. Some of the people around them also covered their mouths in surprise.

“Then.”

Like that, Emilia brushed past Shayla. After that, no one could speak rashly to Emilia.
The fact that she had become a person who could not be treated carelessly gave her a twisted pleasure.

Hadius led her down a secluded staircase.

“I can see why you were so tolerant towards the Cavendish. They’re no match for you.”

He took two glasses of champagne from a servant and handed one of them to Emilia.

“Just remember one thing. This is for you. Whether you enjoy the ball or ruin it, it’s up to you. Do what you want. No one can touch you as long as I’m behind you. Do you know how fun it is?”

Hadius smirked lightly as if he were very proud.

Unable to control her hopelessly trembling heart, Emilia drank the alcohol at once. Suddenly, anger welled up. It was a wave of irrational anger with no context or logic.

“Can I really do as I please?”

Hadius raised the glass in a positive way.

“What if I throw this ring away? Can I do that in front of everyone?”
“That would be fun too. You said so before. That you wanted to abandon me.”
“Don’t ignore it. I may really throw it away.”
“As you please.”

Putting the empty glass down somewhere, he wiped away his smile and slowly tensed up his body, which he had been leaning on.

“Do whatever you want, Emilia. It doesn’t matter now.”

It wasn’t Emilia’s words, saying she would throw it away, that changed the man’s eyes. What made Hadius be on edge was beyond that pillar.

“It’s that guy, isn’t it?”

Nathan Malvin.
Hadius recognized him at a glance.

Feeling his gaze, Nathan also turned his head towards them.

Embarrassed, Emilia’s face turned bright red.
In Hadius’s head, Emilia and Nathan had a relationship of some sort; and whether it was true or not, she felt suffocated for some reason.

“Don’t worry, I won’t cause you trouble.”

Hadius whispered softly and strode towards Nathan. Contrary to the smile on his face, in his head,

‘He wrapped his arms around her, like a baby, and sided with her.’
‘They’re betting on when she will become his lover.’

There were only words like that.

“Greetings. I am Hadius Meyer.”
“It is an honor to meet you, I am Nathan Malvin.”
“I once saw your father, Sir Elowie Malvin. He came to give his congratulations at the anniversary ceremony of Elfort a year ago.”
“Ah, is that so?”
“He had great pride in his eldest son, and seeing you in person like this, I can see why.”
“I don’t know what to do with myself when I hear such praise from someone who will be graduating with the best grades.”

Formal greetings were exchanged back and forth. It was a relief for her, who was worried that Hadius would grab Nathan by the neck.

After shaking hands, Nathan’s eyes immediately turned to look at Emilia.

“How have you been?”

Emilia had to swallow dry in order to answer.

“Thanks to your concern, I have been doing well.”
“You look really good today. Having your hair like that really suits you.”
“Thank you. The Young Master also looks wonderful.”

Emilia chose only safe answers, and so did Nathan.

“Are you going to keep working with Haspel?”
“What? Ah…”

Emilia glanced at Hadius and answered, “I think so.”, nodding.

“Do you know that that timid butler is still begging me? To keep what happened that day a secret.”
“Ah… Is that so?”
“So, I told him. That I want him to treat you as the official ledger manager. I told him that if he does that, I will keep it a secret.”

She felt like her face was going to turn red at the unexpected talk. Her trembling eyes flowed to Hadius again.

Naturally, she thought he would be staring at her with suspicious eyes. But the only thing that could be found on her fiancé’s face was a warm smile.

Her body, which had been so tense, began to relax gradually.
Nathan was now very innocent, and Emilia too. There was no bizarre romance, no matter how much he looked for it.

Emilia straightened her chin.

“You didn’t have to worry about it that much, but thank you anyway.”
“If Haspel behaves stingily again, come to me anytime. My family is always open to talented people.”
“Thank you for your words.”

Nathan, who was smiling happily, suddenly turned to Hadius.

“If it’s fine by you, can I give this as a present to Miss Bern?”

Startled eyes turned to the object Nathan was holding. It was a book.

The ‘Principles of Accounting’…
As soon as she saw the title, she felt strange. She was grateful yet embarrassed, proud yet shy.

“As you may know, Miss Bern is very interested in math and accounting. It is an expression of pure expectation towards a talented person, so I hope you will allow it.”

How will that man react?
Emilia was nervous.