Love Doesn’t Matter - Chapter 48 – Special Indulgence

Emilia was stunned.
Why did she have the absurd idea that that man might have cleared up the misunderstanding? It’s even more complicated.

“An ‘animal in rut’, how can you have such an absurd thought?”

Looking down at Emilia, who was taken aback, Hadius emptied the drink from his glass at once. Then he smiled coldly.

“Do you know what ‘being in rut’ means?”
“Of course I do.”

He hesitated strangely. What was so surprising was that he raised his eyebrows, completely forgetting his anger and sarcasm from just a moment ago.

Emilia looked at him with steady eyes and opened her mouth.

“Being in rut is the bodily reaction that occurs before animals mate. Before the female and male reproduce, in the female body…”
“Alright, that’s enough.”

Hadius cut off her words like a knife.

“Looks like you’ve seen everything at the Cavendish mansion.”
“No, I didn’t see it in a book. My Father taught me. He worked at a pig farm right until he died. Back then, he showed me the pigs mating.”

Emilia, who had an indistinct face, suddenly let out a laugh.

“Back then, my dream was to become the owner of a pig farm.”
“How old were you?”
“Eight years old.”

Hadius suddenly frowned.

“I don’t mean to offend your late father, but… To tell that kind of thing to a little child…”
“That kind of thing?”

The conversation was going to a strange place.
Emilia raised her eyebrows, wondering what he meant by ‘he taught his daughter that kind of thing’.

“… What else did your father say?”
“About mating?”
“Can you speak a bit lower?”

For some reason, the shameless man was being wary of others; but Emilia lowered her voice nonetheless.

“He taught me how to breed high-quality pigs from Ferrendot. How to know when they are in rut and what to do about it, and things like that. Females go through estrus about once a month, and when they do, they lose their appetite and their backs become as hard as stones. We check their physical condition, select sows that are sure to be in estrus, and breed them with a male pig. If everything goes well, three months later we get to meet the cute piglets.”

Emilia, who was giving explanations like a teacher, realized that the other person was too silent.

When she lifted her head, the man’s face looked a little spaced out.
Strange. Why is Hadius like that?

Frowning, she noticed that their champagne glasses were empty. What happened at the ‘Elver’ flashed through her mind like a film.

Ahh, alcohol must be the problem again.

Emilia put down the empty glass, determined. She tried not to recall the fantastic, sweet taste in her mouth. Unlike her, Hadius raised his hand to the servant on the other side and took another glass of champagne.

“Why don’t you stop drinking?”
“Why? Are you afraid I will do something you’ll regret again?”

Emilia, who was facing him, turned her head in the opposite direction. Although she felt dizzy for a moment, she didn’t realize at all that it could be due to being intoxicated.
She didn’t even realize that she wasn’t as embarrassed as before at the words that reminded her of the kiss.

The two stood next to each other and looked out the window for a while. Since he didn’t say anything more, she thought Hadius had forgotten about ‘mating’. But then he asked again.

“Your father didn’t teach you anything about ‘how to meet a cute human baby’, did he?”

Emilia’s face turned to Hadius again.

“… What does that mean?”

Just before their eyes met, this time it was Hadius who turned his head as if running away.

“… Never mind.”

Of course, eight-year-old Emilia naturally asked her father.

If pigs produce offspring through mating, how do humans have children?

Her father smiled and answered.

‘It’s completely different with people. You shouldn’t get tangled up like an animal without any sense of shame. It’s a much softer, sublime, mature act. When you’re at the age to get married, your mother will tell you everything.’

Recalling the memories of that time, Emilia suddenly fell into a very strange mood.

Combining the conversation with Hadius, which has become more and more strange, and the words of her father a long time ago, there must be considerable similarities between ‘mating’ and ‘how to meet a human baby’. No way…

Emilia, who had been staring into the void with very serious eyes, shook her head.
Enough. What’s so important about pigs in rut…

“Anyway, I don’t want to justify myself anymore. About my relationship with Young Master Malvin. There’s nothing more tiring than having a conversation with someone who already has an answer. No matter what I say, the Young Master will twist everything.”

The moment Emilia muttered coldly, a bell rang. The butler appeared at the entrance to the hall.

“In a moment, the ballroom will open. Gentlemen can move to the study and ladies to the salon to prepare for the ball or exchange pleasant conversations.”

It has been a long-standing tradition in Nowak’s social world for men and women to get ready in different places just before dancing.
The men began to diverge towards aides dressed in uniforms, and the women towards maids.

“Then see you later.”

He grabbed Emilia, who was about to head towards a maid. The look in his eyes was filled with concern.

“… Will you be fine?”

His eyes were on the women who smiled among themselves and crossed their arms. He was worried about whether she would get bullied.
It was as ridiculous and absurd as pouring her a drink at Laura’s house and calling it ‘comforting her’.

Didn’t that man do something worse once a year? Still, Emilia’s heart was softening again.

“You said they’re no match for me. Don’t worry.”

Unlike her heart, her body turned around coldly.

As she trudged along the group moving to the salon, Emilia felt her heart getting heavier.

Some memories are so ingrained in the brain that they never go away. No matter how hard you try to dig them out, you only get a scratch, and they hide even deeper.
For Emilia, the engagement ceremony five years ago was such a memory.

She looked down at the ring that was spinning around her finger, smiling lightly… At that moment, Hadius Meyer was engraved so deeply on her heart that she couldn’t get him out.

After that, Emilia repeatedly went through expectations and disappointments every time she met him.

At the first dinner party, she was disappointed and thought it must have been her own mistake; and when their eyes met again, her expectations grew like a poisonous mushroom.
It was the same for the second dinner party, and so was the third one.

Expectations and disappointments, and expectations and disappointments, as the same thing repeated over and over again, Emilia gradually fell into fear.

The reason why her steps to the dinner party were so heavy may not be because of the unknown people who treated her as someone invisible, but because of her illusion and hope that were revived no matter how much they were trampled on.

But today, after such a long time, Hadius confirmed that it was not an illusion. It was a late confession, but she couldn’t stop the bright feelings she had at the time of the engagement from reviving.

In front of the man who put the ring on her, Emilia foolishly forgave and understood once again.

He had to break up with Bianca.
He was used politically by the King he hated so much.
Most of all, he liked the ‘woman who is going to produce a bastard’. He would never have wanted to admit that.

How much would the people around him, including his mother, have noticed?

It is not easy to lose the trust of your family. Whether it’s right or wrong…

It must be something like the grumpiness of a child who likes something but can’t have it, but doesn’t want to give it to others either.

Do not forget.
There aren’t many people who are clear about good and evil.
Each action has its own reasons and definitions.
So, she shouldn’t think of Hadius Meyer as an angry monster…

Emilia, who had been nodding her head alone like a crazy person, suddenly stopped.

No, don’t make excuses like that.

The ring was tightened terribly as much as the suffocating pain on the pit of her stomach.

It’s just because she likes him. Because she liked him, because she wanted to see him, she forgave him so easily.
It was a special indulgence. Allowed only the sixteen-year-old Hadius Meyer, who shone like a star.

*** 

As soon as they arrived at the salon, some sat in a circle, and some called their personal maids to groom them. The maids prepared the tea diligently.

Emilia looked around the people and pondered for a moment about what to do. While hesitating, someone grabbed her from behind.

“Sit here, Miss Bern.”

It was Josephine. She led Emilia to a seat in the center.

“Let’s talk. You’re engaged to the heir of the Meyer family. What does it feel like to hang out with a rising star in high society?”

Why does that young lady keep acting like this?

Emilia looked quietly at Josephine’s face. However, her eyes were so innocent that she had no way of knowing whether it was a mistake caused by ignorance or a mean trap.

“Please. Please sit next to me.”

Emilia, who was about to refuse, changed her mind. People glanced at each other and exchanged looks; and then one after the other, they began to sit around Emilia.

Suddenly, she had a funny thought again. Could this also be Hadius’ trick? It may be that he used the host’s daughter, Josephine Lüen, to set up an unwanted main character position.

Whatever the truth, the conclusion was sad. What he has done so far has had serious side effects.
She couldn’t trust him anymore. She has no choice but to be constantly suspicious and anxious.

“Have you heard? A restaurant is coming to Dill Street soon.”
“Really?”
“Aren’t gourmands trendy in Nowak these days? They go around restaurants in different places and hold fairs.”
“That sounds like fun!”

The dreamy eyes suddenly turned to Emilia.

“Have you ever been to a restaurant? Miss Bern?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Ah… Is that so?”

Josephine has a strangely disappointed face.

“I thought you certainly had. Since there were rumors circulating that Prince Hadius bought all kinds of gifts for his fiancée.”
“He bought a dress, but I refused.”
“Oh my, why?!”
“It’s too burdensome. I believe that nothing is free in the world. A dress comes at a cost in one way or another.”

Josephine, who had her eyes wide open as if in disbelief, suddenly grabbed her hands.

“Oh my! It’s such a desolate story, but it’s also the piercing truth.”

Surprisingly, time passed peacefully. People treated Emilia with a polite mask, and she, too, gradually relaxed.

This time too, it was Shayla who caused a stir in the calm atmosphere.

“There is a book that I had a lot of fun reading the other day.”

Even when she started talking like that, Emilia had no interest in it.

“What was it?”
“It’s a novel called ‘The Camellia Maiden’.”
“Ah, I read it too. It’s a very popular novel these days, isn’t it?”

“Right.” “I read it too.” “It was really fun.” Various answers were heard.

“What is it about?”
“It’s about a Count falling in love with a maid and getting married. It is a beautiful love that transcends status.”

Shayla suddenly looked at Emilia. And asked.

“Have you read it, Miss Bern?”

Ten pairs of eyes turned to Emilia all at once.